As I reflect back on the past year, I am reminded of all the good memories, the amazing new places I visited, & the new friends I made. But I am also reminded of the lessons I learned that have made me into who I am today. Some I had to relearn from years before, & some are new life lessons in my 24th year of life.
These 22 lessons are ones that have changed the way I view myself & the world around me, & my hope is to carry them into my next year of life.
Read on for the 22 lessons I learned this year, & leave a lesson you learned in the comments! Let’s all share some of our wisdom from the past year.
1. My emotional health is my responsibility. Boundaries are healthy, even with the people we love.
2. Adult friends are hard to make. It’s easier when you take the initiative to invite people out for a cup of coffee.
3. However, not everyone likes coffee (I know, shocking). It makes it less awkward if you have a second place in mind as a back-up.
4. It’s okay to treat yourself every once in a while. It’s okay to treat yourself every day. It’s okay to treat yourself whenever you feel like it. It’s okay to treat yourself…period.
5. Getting up early to exercise is self-care. Sleeping in a little more is also self-care. Figure out what it is your body needs.
6. My body this year has more curves & less muscle tone than it ever has. It is also my most loved body. It is still strong & nimble, but it has also been given space & time to rest. Your most loved body does not have to look like what other people consider healthy.
7. The people you have the hardest time understanding are the people you should take more time to understand.
8. Introversion & extroversion is a scale. We all need alone time, & we all need time spent with the people we love.
9. Lots of people are opinionated. The goal is not to find people without opinions – it is to find people who are willing to learn & not push their opinions on others. You should try to be this kind of person, too.
10. Compassion & empathy are different, & each one has its place.
11. You are who your younger self needed.
12. But also, it is okay if there are things about you your younger self would not be proud of. You are still growing, & also, your younger self did not know everything.
13. Three of the best things we can give ourselves: Movement, sunlight & water. These can also be called love, light & nourishment.
14. The word “no” does not always have to be followed by “I’m sorry.” Sometimes just “no” is sufficient.
15. You’re welcome is not the only way to respond to “thank you.””My pleasure,” “of course,” or (my favorite) “I love you” are much better choices.
16. It does not matter how slow you go. The miles pass anyway, & the finish line is still there when you reach the end.
17. You know the things you are willing to lose sleep over because they make you so happy & excited? Fill your life with more of those things.
18. Forgive yourself for any unhealthy habits you picked up when you were in survival mode. They helped you make it through to where you are now.
19. But also, just because those habits served you then does not mean they are serving you now. You do not have to keep doing them. Have grace for yourself in the process of letting them go.
20. It is okay if people do not understand why you love your passions. Do them anyway.
21. Dairy is not good for you. Also, I am going to eat dairy until the day I die.
22. It is okay if you look different now than you did going into the pandemic. Believe it or not, it has been a few years. And none of us were prepared for that.
With the weather growing colder, the lack of sunlight, & much of the natural world around us lying dormant, it can be easy to feel the winter blues creeping in. We tend to spend more time indoors & be less active, which can be detrimental to our physical & mental wellbeing, & the stress of the holidays & pressure of the new year can make things even worse.
But winter, like all seasons, has its own unique joys to offer. I love to tailor my self-care practices & hobbies to the season I am in, & winter is the perfect season to reflect on your lifestyle & make some healthy changes.
As mentioned in previous blog posts, self-care is a very personal experience, & you should always make time to do things that bring you joy & comfort. But, there is nothing wrong with switching up your regular routine to reflect the unique joys & challenges that each season brings. Try a few activities, find what works best for you, & keep it in your back pocket for the next stressful day ahead.
One of the biggest challenges winter brings for our mental & physical health is the lack of sunshine. Even if you don’t suffer from seasonal affective disorder (SAD) (a type of depression caused by the lack of sunlight), the reduced levels of Vitamin D can still negatively impact your mental & physical wellbeing. And many of us are less active indoors, which means our bodies & minds only suffer more.
Make an effort this winter to get some sunshine. Even if it’s only for a few minutes a day, soaking in the sun’s rays can greatly improve your mental & physical health by regulating your melatonin levels, improving your sleep, reducing the effects of SAD, & strengthening your immune system. Take a walk, or just sit outside with a hot cup of tea or coffee & relax.
If you can’t get outdoors during the day, consider investing in a sun lamp. It’s not as good as the real thing, but spending 15 minutes basking in the glow of this fake sun can help improve your mental health.
Despite the lack of sunlight, our bodies are still losing water all the time, & it’s one of the most important elements we need to survive. When we don’t drink enough water, it negatively impacts our organ function, immune system, & energy.
Try to drink at least 64 ounces of water a day. If you are traveling, regularly exercising, struggling to get in enough sleep, or fighting off illness, consider also adding electrolytes to your drink. Nuun is a great choice – it has different options depending on your activity & personal needs. Nuun Vitamins, Nuun Immunity, & Nuun Rest can all be great options to drink daily.
Your skin also needs some extra hydrating love in the winter. Buy yourself a quality, unscented moisturizer to nourish your skin with daily.
3. Treat yourself
My delicious, healthy hot cocoa – get the recipe here
The holidays are full of yummy treats to indulge in, & once the holidays end & the winter blues often kick in, we can find ourselves craving those indulgent cookies & cakes again.
It’s important to treat our food as fuel. The goal at feeding times should always be to nourish ourselves. But when you are craving a special treat, there is nothing wrong with indulging yourself. In fact, studies show when you satisfy a craving with a small treat instead of restricting yourself, you are less likely to binge later, which means you will be more successful at achieving your health & wellness goals.
So, go ahead – have that cup of hot cocoa & a cookie, snuggle up in a warm blanket, & enjoy those chilly winter evenings.
The limited daylight means we are often less active in the winter. This can lead to weight gain, inflammation, & fatigue. Energize your body by moving it in loving ways. Go for a run or walk, lift weights, do yoga, or even join a fun class at your local gym! Just getting your body up & moving releases happy hormones like serotonin that will help you feel better throughout your day & give you the energy to tackle your goals.
The weather outside is frightful, but a hot, bubbly bath is so delightful.
Warm yourself up with a hot bubble bath on cold winter nights. You can even add some epsom salts to help detox your body of any toxins it may be holding & decrease unhealthy inflammation. You could also add some therapeutic-grade lavender essential oil to help calm your senses. Light some candles to add to the ambience & turn on some relaxing music or read a book to relax & decompress.
When we spend more time indoors, we tend to spend more time alone, which can lead to feeling isolated from the world. Make it a point to reach out to friends & family members, even after the holidays. Invite friends over for dinner, or even just make time for a weekly phone call with someone you love. It can help you to feel more connected to others, which is important for your mental health & wellbeing. Studies show that people who feel connected to others have lower levels of anxiety & depression, & they also tend to have higher levels of self-esteem & self-confidence.
With all this time cooped up indoors, winter is the perfect season to explore new hobbies & interests. Why don’t you read that book that’s been sitting on your shelf for months, or why don’t you finally start learning to paint? Try something creative, or sit down to research & learn about something new. You might find you discover a new passion you never knew you had.
Winter is the perfect time to set goals & resolutions for the year ahead. What have you been wanting to achieve in your life? What passions do you have? Set new goals for the year, & then make a point every week to do something to help you achieve them. If you want to lose weight, make it a goal every week to exercise & eat healthy. If you want to improve your financial literacy, make a weekly/monthly budget. If you want to read more, pick out a new book every month. Whatever your goal is, write out a list of smaller steps to help you achieve that lofty long-term resolution so it seems more manageable & achievable.
If you’re stuck inside looking out at the cold, you might as well make the best of it. Cozy up with a hot drink, a good book, & a warm blanket, or have a movie night with your family, huddled up in a blanket fort in your living room. You can have a pyjama day, or spend time practicing hygge in your space.
As stated above, the winter season is full of tasty treats that are meant to make us feel warm & cozy inside. It’s the perfect time to indulge & enjoy, but those winter treats can also add up, which means more inflammation, weight gain & bloating.
Focus on eating lots of protein & vegetables in your daily life. Decrease your consumption of processed foods, & instead, eat more foods that come from the earth. Your physical & mental wellbeing will improve, which means the next time you see a tasty treat, you can enjoy it without feeling regretful later.
What are your favorite winter self-care activities? Leave me a comment below!
You probably have already heard about it – even if you haven’t been watching the Olympics, I’m sure it’s been popping up on your newsfeed & social media. Simone Biles, after experiencing what gymnasts called “the twisties” (or a loss of awareness of where you are in the air), pulled herself out of the Olympics competition last week. She returned at the beginning of this week to compete & win bronze on beam. Biles is an Olympic champion, winner of multiple gold medals, but she was quoted saying that this bronze medal “means more than all the golds because I’ve pushed through so much the last five years & the last week I’ve been here.”
Given certain circumstances, bronze means more than gold.
I want that statement to sink in for a moment. We may not all be Olympic athletes (I’m venturing a guess that no one reading this is currently competing in Tokyo), but we all have our own competitions, our own daily challenges, our moments when we are put to the test. And the message most often, when we come to these moments less prepared, not in the right headspace, or feeling unwell, is to push through. Keep going. Don’t let anything stop you.
Simone Biles, one of the greatest gymnasts & athletes of all time, just showed everyone that it’s okay to listen to your body & pull yourself out, even in what seems to be the most important moment of your life, the climax of your story.
Simone Biles spent last week cheering on her teammates from the sidelines, congratulating them on their gold medals when she should have been winning medals of her own. She voluntarily went from being the center of attention to the cheerleader on the sidelines. And we all love her even more for it.
And when she finally did return, & won bronze, we all cheered even harder than before. Because, in that moment, we watched someone who was not only a terrific athlete, but someone who was human, just like us, defy the odds, advocate for mental health, & still take home an Olympic medal when we would have been just as proud of her if she hadn’t come home with anything.
Given certain circumstances, bronze means more than gold.
Where in your life are you pushing too hard, & what are you sacrificing for it? Is there an area where you have the spotlight, but perhaps it would be better for you, or those around you, if you gave it to someone else? Is there an area of your life where giving up achieving the “best” could actually afford you the chance to have something better, to enjoy life more, to take care of yourself & others?
It’s not an easy decision to make. It’s hard to pull back when we know we could be capable of more. But just because we can do it does not mean we should. Just because we can do the workload of that promotion doesn’t mean it’s worth sacrificing family time. Just because we can work overtime doesn’t mean it’s worth the lack of sleep & toll on our physical well-being. Just because we can deal with & make a toxic relationship work doesn’t mean it is worth the damage to our mental health.
Just because we can achieve gold, it doesn’t make the bronze any less valuable.
Hello all, I am Shayla from thedailyshayla.com and I’m so happy to be collaborating with Tyler! We both decided to share our top 5 ways to practice self-care, so when you’re done here, please be sure to check out her 5 over on my blog!
Ahh, stress! We all know what it feels like to be stressed, right? Exhaustion and the feeling of being overwhelmed are things we all go through in our day-to-day lives. I for one am no stranger to the many stresses of life and it is so important that I find ways to reduce those feelings and practice some self-care for my mind body and soul. And you should be doing the same!
Self-care literally means to take care of yourself and should be a regular habit in your daily routine. Whether it’s a cup of tea in the morning or a full on pamper session to release your worries; finding something that you enjoy and something that will take your mind off things is vital every once in a while!
Whether it be reading a book with a cup of coffee or squeezing in something you truly enjoy, starting your day by focusing on yourself can feel extremely gratifying. Especially as a parent, my entire day is focused around my daughter- so those few hours in the morning before she wakes are absolutely magical.
f you know me or have read my blog, you’ll know that fitness is my no.1 form of self care. Getting up and keeping active is a brilliant way to care for the mind, body and soul! Now, I don’t necessarily mean you should intensely workout for an hour or more; but for some, just a simple walk in the park may be all you need to release those endorphins.
Ways I love staying active are:
Dancing the Night Away
Blast some of your favourite tunes and dance like nobody’s watching! This is such a fun way to block everything negative out and let those positive vibrations in. You are able to really enter your own world and perform like a superstar. A Serotonin boost for sure!
Simple Stretches
Doing some simple stretches after you wake up or before you go to sleep is a great way to get your blood flowing. It also benefits your body by relaxing your muscles and increasing your flexibility.
Walk & Talk
Going for an evening stroll whilst talking to a friend can be very enjoyable. Catching up with someone will relieve so much stress and add some positivity to your day. Before you know it, you’ve done several laps around the park all whilst gossiping to your heart’s content.
Minimising your schedule may be just what you need to minimise excessive stress. We often get overwhelmed and flustered when we have a lot to do- eventually leading to not doing anything at all. Some days, I opt not to work-out or even take breaks from completing blog activities, just to give my mind a rest and allow myself to recuperate.
It’s so important to take time out for you and to listen to your mind and body when it becomes engulfed in tasks. Also, learn to say “no” to things if your ‘plate’ is overloaded- it is okay to be selfish when it is needed.
Whatever is on your mind, jot it down on some paper, everything will be easier to process then. Or even better, start a journal! Spill out your thoughts on the past, present and future and lift some of that weight off your mind. One of my favourite things to write in my journal are several to-do lists; as I know my future self will thank me for it later! It can be fun just to plan your days ahead of time and fully clear-out your mind.
You see!? It’s as simple as that- even the smallest of things can be beneficial towards your mental health! Taking some time out to breathe and recalibrate may be just what you need when life becomes a little too much. These are just the things I like to do, but what are your favourite ways to practice self-care? Let us know in the comments below!
Note: This article contains affiliate links. If you purchase a product after clicking a link, I may earn a commission off of that purchase.
Note: Read all the way to the end of this article for a special summer giveaway opportunity!
Summer is finally here, which means it’s the perfect time to get some sunlight, relax & recharge. And especially after the year we all had, I think it’s time for a little extra self-care time.
Self-care is a very personal experience, & it should always be spent doing things that specifically bring you joy & comfort. But, there’s nothing wrong with switching up your self-care activities to reflect the unique joys that each season brings. Summer is full of fun ways to show yourself some love.
Read on for 10 easy ways to practice self-care this season.
This is by far the simplest way to practice self-care this season, but it’s still super important. When we are exposed to sunlight, our brains release serotonin, otherwise known as the “happy hormone.” Serotonin not only boosts our mood; it also helps us to feel calm & focused, which means more productive lives. In addition to this, the sun gives us Vitamin D, which is linked to better bone health, & it can actually help promote healthy skin! That glowing look you want can be achieved by spending time in the sun’s rays! Just make sure you show your skin a little extra self-care & wear lots of sunscreen.
Physically & socially, spend some time off the grid this summer. Get out of town. Plan a vacation & treat yourself. And when you do, consider staying unplugged from your phone. I know, there are tons of Instagrammable photos to share on vacation, but you can always share them later. Give yourself a little time to be present with those around you, or just to yourself, because you deserve your undivided attention as well.
3. Spend time with people who make you feel good
Joseph & me at brunch with my parents
Distance yourself from negativity & spend time with people who make you feel good. Now that COVID-19 restrictions are lifting, you can finally go out to brunch, swim in the pool, or go to a concert with the people that matter most to you. Plan a picnic, go on a walk, or just give someone you love a phone call. Studies show that spending time with people helps reduce the symptoms of many mental health conditions, including anxiety & depression, & building strong relationships helps provide support when you are experiencing challenging situations.
Every body is a beach body. Whether it’s a bikini, a sundress, a one-piece, or a sarong, wear what makes you feel most beautiful & confident to the beach, & don’t give one thought to what other people think. There is nothing more beautiful than a woman who dresses with dignity & carries herself with confidence.
This is important all year long, but it’s especially important in summer. When we sweat, we lose water, & when our bodies are dehydrated, they don’t function properly. Signs of dehydration include fatigue, constipation, dry skin, & headaches, & severe dehydration can cause low blood pressure, heat exhaustion, seizures, heat stroke, kidney failure, & coma. Keep your body hydrated by drinking water throughout your day. You can add more flavor to your water by adding fresh fruits, herbs, or vegetables. One refreshing combination I love is cucumber, mint & lime. Or, if I’m in the mood for something sweet, I love adding freshly chopped berries. If you’re doing activities outdoors, consider adding electrolytes to your water – choose low-sugar brands that will replenish the sodium, magnesium, & potassium you are losing through your sweat without loading up on sugar. When you keep your body hydrated, it gives you more energy & helps you to feel your best.
6. Visit a farmer’s market
Joseph & me at the farmer’s market picking out fresh produce for a picnic dinner
With spring & early summer gardens finally in full bloom, this is the perfect opportunity to visit your local farmer’s market & pick out fresh produce to cook with. It supports a local business, & it also a fun way to eat healthy. Look for recipe inspiration on Pinterest, or just start experimenting in the kitchen!
Get outside & enjoy the warm weather while exercising. There are lots of fun summer activities that are also great forms of exercise, including kayaking, swimming, & hiking. Try to go out early in the morning or later in the evening to avoid the hottest parts of the day, & make sure to wear sunscreen while you’re outdoors.
Enjoy your summer days to the fullest by waking up with the sun. Bringing natural light into your room & waking up with the sunrise is a much more gentle way to wake up, as opposed to a blaring alarm clock. This means you wake up more refreshed & ready to tackle your day! And, if you do this consistently, your circadian rhythm will adjust, which means deeper sleep & more productive days.
Whether you’re relaxing on the beach or spending a day indoors away from the heat, summer is the perfect time to start a new book. Why not find something inspirational? Pick a topic you are interested in, or simply search for inspirational books online or at your local library to find your new uplifting read.
Alright, as promised, it is giveaway time!
Much of my blog is dedicated to helping my readers find more self-care in their lives. To help inspire you to take better care of yourself this summer, I have a challenge that could help you win some special prizes!
The Summer Self-Care Bingo Challenge includes all the self-care activities listed above, plus 14 more ways to show yourself some extra love this summer. Complete 5 activities in a row, column, or diagonally to win a month-long subscription to Sticker of the Month & the weekly newsletter. Complete the entire board, & you will a FREE Sunshine Box! That’s right – spend more time this summer dedicated to self-care, & you can get more self-care delivered right to your doorstep!
To complete a bingo square, post a selfie of you completing the activity on Instagram & tag me @TylerVLayne with the hashtag #SummerSelfCareBingo, & I will do the rest of the work for you. The Summer Self-Care Bingo Challenge will start June 15 & will end August 30.
After a season of growth, summer is the perfect season to relax & find joy in the present moment.
Positive affirmations are a great way to reframe your perspective on life & keep your mind focused on what’s most important. Your mindset has the power to give you more confidence & positivity in your daily life, or to bring you down. By repeating affirmations in your mind, you can ease anxieties & help yourself to focus on what’s most important.
These five affirmations are geared towards summer fun & relaxation. Whether you are trying to clear your mind while lounging by the pool, or if you’re attempting to ease anxieties before a big trip, these affirmations will help you enjoy your summer to its fullest. Feel free to share on social media, or save these graphics to make them your new phone background! It’s an easy way to remind yourself to repeat these words when you need them most.
Note: This post does contain affiliate links. If you buy a product after clicking a link, I may earn a commission off of that purchase.
Self-care is important any time of year, but spring is the perfect season to take a little extra time for yourself. While the world is waking from its slumber & committing itself to new growth once again, you can do the same.
Spending some time to engage in self-care looks different for everyone. It’s important to match the type of self-care you use with what is actually beneficial & meaningful to you. A bubble bath can be a great way to relax, but if you don’t have a comfortable place to soak, your muscles don’t need to relax, or, even worse, if you don’t even like soaking in baths, this may not be the best way to engage in self-care for you. I find it interesting when people force themselves to do self-care, & they choose an activity that they don’t enjoy & get it done like just any other task on their to-do list. Self-care should be something that you need & that brings relief & relaxation to your life in some way. This means that sometimes it is indulgent, like eating chocolate or bingeing on your favorite Netflix show, but sometimes its actually less glamorous, like cleaning out your closet or spending a day getting all the things done that never make it onto your to-do list. No matter what, at the end of your activity, you should feel some sort of relief & feel better about your current state in life.
With that being said, I love to theme my activities to the season I am in, personally & in the world. Spring is a perfect time for self-care because there are so many things you can do! Listed below are 10 ways you can engage in self-care this spring. As stated above, make sure you choose one that is meaningful to you, & enjoy your self-care time! You deserve it.
The weather has finally gotten warmer, which means it is the perfect time to go for a relaxed walk outdoors & enjoy some fresh air. If you are looking to get your heart & adrenaline pumping a little more, go for a run or bike ride. The clean air & physical activity are good for your mental & physical health.
The time for spring cleaning is here, but this doesn’t have to be treated like just another annoying task you have to complete. Making your environment clean & orderly is beneficial for your mental health. A cluttered space encourages a cluttered mind. Take some time to purge your house of things you no longer need, & then take some time to clean up & maybe even decorate your environment in a new way that brings you joy, not just for the day, but for months to come.
3. Make a healthy meal with ingredients from the farmer’s market
Me & Joseph buying ingredients from the farmer’s market the day he proposed
Healthy food nourishes our body & helps us feel our best. Why not support a local farmer’s market & take some time for yourself by making a gourmet meal with all fresh ingredients? It’s a fun activity, & a healthy way to take to nourish your body.
Now that the weather is warmer, it is the perfect time to go for a trip. Plan your itinerary for little getaway in your local tourist spot, or make it more spontaneous & just walk around the area to see what attracts you most. You can do it alone for some quality time with you, or go with your family or a friend for some much-needed social time.
If you’re anything like me, your skin is feeling a little dry & pale after a long, cold winter. Try out a new skincare routine to help moisturize your cracked skin & give it a fresh glow for the new season.
6. Plant a garden
My brother, Jake, & me collecting the produce from our garden my junior year of high school
It’s good for you, & its good for the environment, too. Spend some time getting in some physical activity by planting a garden, & then reap the benefits for months to come with the fresh, healthy & delicious produce you harvest. Or, plant a flower garden & let the bright colors & lovely scents bring you joy every day.
If you aren’t into gardening, bring spring into your home by buying yourself some fresh flowers. Put them in a lovely vase on your table or wherever you will see them to brighten your space. A little touch of spring indoors is a great way to celebrate the season & show yourself some love.
My new favorite crafting hobby is paper crafts with Washi Tape! This is the valentine I made Joseph this year
Spring is the time of new beginnings, so why not try something new? If you want to do something healthy for your body, try a new exercise routine or start cooking more healthy meals at home. If you’re just looking to engage your mind in a new way, why not try a new craft or start doing crossword puzzles. Whatever appeals to you or whatever you have been wanting to try, this is the perfect time to start doing it.
I hope you found a new self-care activity that excites you. Try to give yourself a little time each day, even if it’s just a few minutes, to give yourself a little extra love & care. Your body, mind & soul will thank you.
What’s your favorite way to engage in self-care? Leave me a comment below!
Do you need a little more inspiration? Download my free printable self-care calendar for April! It has a different activity idea for every day, making it the perfect way to remind you to spend some time for yourself daily, as well as try out different self-care activities if you’re not sure what you like best. It helps when we support each other, even with self-care, so stay tuned to my social media next month for my own journey with self-care, using this calendar & article for inspiration.
P.S. Self-care shouldn’t feel like work. Why not get it delivered to your doorstep every month? The Sunshine Box is a personalized self-care subscription box that is filled with items picked out just for you! It’s the perfect way to show yourself a little extra love each month. Learn more & subscribe here.
