After the excitement of last night, it was a relief to wake to a blessedly quiet morning.
I began my day with a hot run into the neighborhoods nearby and down a biking path that yielded a spectacular view of the mountains. Sweat poured down my face, but the air was clean and filled my lungs enough to help me power through. As I ran, I admired the cacti that loomed threateningly, casting shadows over the path. When I looked down at my pounding feet, I caught sight of lizards scurrying by, searching for a shady spot to rest. Despite the heat of the desert, there is life hidden everywhere.
I arrived home, sweaty and hot but feeling accomplished. I showered and got ready for the long day ahead. Then, I sat in the kitchen to a hot cup of coffee, took a deep breath, and drank in the serenity of the tranquil, desert morning.
Today was our last day in Tucson. Luckily for us, it is not quite time to say goodbye. We were able to postpone the inevitable farewells by having Steve and kids travel with us to Sun City to visit more family. However, there was one thing we had to do before leaving – I had promised Thomas that I would watch the new live action Aladdin movie with him. We were supposed to watch it last night, but after the excitement of the hospital visit, it was far too late and we were all far too tired to enjoy the viewing experience. Instead, we sat in the living room today with Jake, Samuel, my parents, and Steve to enjoy one of my favorite Disney princess movies reimagined. While watching, I played a game of cards with Steve, which was thoroughly entertaining. Steve is a master of cards, so he was a challenging opponent. Lucky for me, the game we played had a bit of luck worked in, so I was able to hang with him for most of the game. I lost, of course, but it was a still a match I could be somewhat proud of.
After the movie, all of us hurriedly got ready and packed our bags for our next destination. The car ride was long and lazy. Jake and Thomas dozed in the seats in front of me while Dad and Mom talked intermittently in quiet tones. We had all been up late last night and had little energy to spare because of it.
I thought Arizona would be about the same temperature anywhere we went. I discovered today that I was mistaken. Sun City, I realized, was aptly named. The sun was the most noticeable feature of the place. It scorched the land and beat down on us relentlessly. I started sweating in the sweltering heat as soon as I stepped out of the car.
We hurried inside, where we were greeted with a gracious air conditioned space. We had arrived at Bev’s and Gus’ house, my mother’s and Steve’s aunt and uncle. After their parents passed away, my Mom and Steve moved to live with Bev and Gus for the duration of their teenage years. I have not seen Bev and Gus since I was 11 years old.
Bev had prepared an extravagant spread for lunch, which we attacked like scavengers. It was now late in the afternoon and none of us had eaten since early in the morning.
Gus and Bev looked like they had not aged a day since the last day I had seen them. Funnily enough, Bev said the same thing about me. We spent the afternoon and evening talking and catching up, sharing stories and reconnecting after years spent living across the country.
Today was not an eventful day, but it was one of my favorites thus far. After the fear I felt last night from the scorpion attack, it was such a relief to have a relaxed day, surrounded by loving family members and the lazy, still desert atmosphere that discourages boisterous activity with its merciless heat. Today was a day to appreciate and remember just how blessed I am by the people I have in my life and the beauty of the world around me. I am used to speeding through life, always looking to the next activity, but it was a relief to slow down on this vacation and just appreciate the moment I was in.
When I stop rushing through life, I realize just how truly beautiful it is and how fortunate I am to be able to experience it.
The majority of our day in Arizona was uneventful. Everyone in the house seemed to be tired after the late night we had yesterday, so we decided to have a lazy day. We watched Hamilton and played games, and a couple of us even decided to enjoy an afternoon nap.
In the evening, Steve, Isabella, Kathleen, my mom, and I sat around the table to play cards. Dad retired to bed early, and Jake headed upstairs with Samuel and Thomas to play Mario Kart. Hours passed as we laughed and drank, determined to make the most of our last evening together in Tucson.
Near the end of the game, Thomas and Samuel came bounding down the stairs, followed by Jake, who was holding his right leg awkwardly in front of him as he hopped on his left foot.
“I was bitten by a scorpion,” he announced. A beat of silence followed this statement before all of us at the table stood.
“You were what,” Mom demanded.
“Bitten by a scorpion,” Jake repeated. He, ironically, seemed to be the calmest person in the room.
“Where?” Steve asked.
“In one of the bedrooms,” Jake said. “We were playing hide-and-seek.”
“He’s probably gone by now,” Steve said. Despite this, he still followed Jake back upstairs to the bedroom. A moment later we could hear the stomping of a heavy shoe, the sound that told us the scorpion had been both found and killed.
Mom ran out of the room to wake Dad, while I turned to the two girls.
“Get me some gauze and something sturdy to make a tourniquet,” I said. They both ran out of the room as I grabbed my phone to call 911. This, however, went out of my head as soon as Jake came back into the room. He rushed to his backpack, tore it open, and pulled out a military style belt, which he wrapped tightly around his upper leg.
“It says to do a cold compress and to keep the area elevated,” Kathleen said as she returned, reading off her phone. Isabella followed her and set the gauze I had asked for on the table.
“Tyler,” my mom called as she ran back into the room. “You’re driving.”
“I can’t drive,” I exclaimed.
“You need to,” she said. This, I realized a moment later, was true. Of all the adults present, I was the most sober.
Steve thankfully remembered to call 911 as I left the room to grab the car keys. I went to start the car, but after waiting for a few moments, I realized my family was not following. I ran back inside.
“Jake, you are going to cut off circulation to your leg,” I heard my mom say. “Loosen it up a bit.”
“No,” I exclaimed, rushing into the room. “That’s what a tourniquet is supposed to do.” Jake was lying on the couch, his foot elevated on my dad’s shoulder.
“How do you feel,” I asked him.
“It hurts,” he said to me with a smile. His jovial attitude reassured me. Steve walked into the room saying it was recommended we take Jake to the hospital. We helped Jake hop to the car, where I returned to my spot in the driver’s seat.
Luckily, I had drank very little, and we arrived at the hospital 20 minutes later. I dropped Jake off at the Emergency Room with our parents and then parked the car. Jake’s last request to me as he hobbled out was to keep his girlfriend, Jess, updated. I reassured him that I would, so the first thing I did in that hospital waiting room was send her a text of what I knew.
My parents and I waited in silence. A few minutes ticked by before the doctor emerged.
“He is going to be fine,” she said. “I gave him an ice pack, and we are going to monitor him to make sure he doesn’t have a reaction.”
“How long will that take,” my mom asked.
“At least an hour,” she said. “Also, unfortunately, because of COVID, you all can’t wait here. You can wait in your car, or you can go home, and he can call you when he is ready.”
We walked out of the hospital, each a little torn on what to do. When we got back in the car, my dad asked my mom if she wanted to stay or go.
“I guess we can go back to the house,” she said. I, personally, wanted to stay in the parking lot. I knew if it had been me in that room, it would be reassuring to know that my family members were so close by. But I reversed the car and drove out of the parking lot.
As we were driving back, Mom received a call from Steve. She relayed to him what the doctor had told us, and then she said that she was going to drop off me and Dad at the house and then return to the hospital. When she got off of the phone, there was a short pause before I spoke.
“I didn’t know you were planning on dropping us off at the house,” I said.
“Neither did I,” Dad said.
“If I had known, I would have just stayed at the hospital,” I said. “I don’t want to just wait at home.”
“Yeah, you’re not going back to the hospital alone,” Dad said. The bit of composure Mom had held onto until this point finally left her, and she broke down in tears.
“Then you make the decision, David,” she said. “I don’t want to make it.”
“Okay, let’s go back to the house,” Dad said, thinking practically. “It’s only 20 minutes away and we are already almost there. And when Jake calls, we will go straight back.” Mom agreed, but her tears only intensified. I checked the GPS and saw we were halfway between the house and hospital. With a deep breath, I pulled over the car onto a side road.
“This isn’t your turn,” Mom said.
“I know,” I replied. I parked the car and then turned to her.
“What do you want to do?” I asked. Mom didn’t answer me. “I think we should go back,” I said.
“You should ask your dad,” Mom said.
“It’s not about what I want,” Dad said. “It’s about what you want. What do you want to do?” Mom didn’t answer.
“Okay,” I said, putting the car back into drive. “We’re going back to the hospital. That’s clearly what you want to do. It’s what we all want to do.” I turned the car around and headed back down the highway. A few moments of silence passed before Mom spoke.
“Thank you,” she said quietly. At this moment, Dad’s phone began to ring. It was good that we turned around when we did because it was Jake calling – the hospital needed insurance information.
I drove back to the emergency room entrance, and Dad left the car. Through the windows, I could see Jake standing with a nurse in the waiting room.
“That’s Jake,” Mom exclaimed tearfully. “He’s standing up! That must mean he’s okay and he’s ready to come home, right?” She turned to me, her eyes hopeful and desperate, as if confirmation of this question was the lifeline she needed.
“I don’t know,” I told her. Mom bit her lip and looked back out the windshield, and then she rushed out of the car to greet her son, who was exiting the hospital. The two of them returned with Dad to the car.
My family. From left to right, Jake, Jess, Dad, me, and Mom
Jake was still in high spirits. On the ride home, he finally told us the full story: He had run into Steve’s bedroom during a game of hide-and-seek. The scorpion had been hiding right in the shadows behind the doorway. Jake said the sting had not hurt as bad as he would have thought. At first, he thought maybe it was a splinter. Then, after looking at it, he saw the area was red and swollen, so he thought maybe he had stepped on a bee. He used his phone flashlight to see what he had stepped on, and that’s when he saw the small, spider-like creature.
He did tell us it is actually not a good idea to use a tourniquet when stung or bit by a venomous animal.
“I knew it,” Mom exclaimed. The doctors had told Jake that using a tourniquet restricts all the venom in a high consistency to one area, so when the tourniquet is taken off, they have no way of controlling the venom spread into the rest of the body. It is better to elevate the bitten or stung area and let the venom seep slowly, in a more controlled state, through the bloodstream.
We returned to the house, where Jake’s main concern was where the scorpion was now. To his immense disappointment, Steve told him it had been flushed down the toilet. He had wanted to keep it, or at least get a picture, as a souvenir of his experience.
What do you do when someone you love is hurt? It’s difficult to know what to do, and everyone reacts differently. Some of us are overwhelmed by our own empathy and emotions; no one likes seeing someone they love in pain. Others become cool headed and practical, thinking only of the logical next step. Some become rooted to the spot, paralyzed with fear, while others snap into action as if they have been training for this for years. The interesting thing is there is no way to predict how you will react until you are in the situation; there is no way to prepare for the swarm of nauseating emotions or rush of adrenaline that will hit you. And the unfortunate thing is that you are most likely to make mistakes or do something unhelpful, such as recommending a tourniquet for a wound that shouldn’t have it, or being so overwhelmed by choices to make that you become too petrified to make any decision for fear it will be wrong.
Me and my brother
What we can’t do is let these mistakes and shortcomings dismay us. After all, having made these errors means we did do the most important thing anyone can for someone in pain: We were there. We were present with the person who was hurting, and we did what we could and what we knew how to do. I am so grateful for each of my family members and the different skills they brought to the table, and I am especially appreciative for the doctors who knew what Jake actually needed.
And now that I am out of the situation and can finally think about how I feel, I am so very grateful that my brother is safe and healthy. His good sense of humor, kind disposition, and relaxed approach to life are always things I have admired and loved, and I could not imagine my life without my younger brother.
What do you do when someone you love is hurt? Hopefully, you just get the chance to be there with them.
When I think of Arizona, I think of dry, relentless heat on red land adorned with cacti, shrubs, and bright orange, desert flowers. What I never imagine is rain pouring onto the parched land from a dreary gray sky.
Of all the times to visit Arizona, somehow my family and I chose the few days that monsoon season decided to hit. Our original plans for the day were pushed into the evening by the dark clouds that had taken over the sky.
One of the best things to do on rainy days is play games, and that’s exactly what we did. Now, again, this was not quite what I expected. When I think of games, I think of a deck of cards or a board game. However, my cousins, who are younger and more aware of the current trends, introduced the virtual reality system to me and my family. With the headset on, the room we were in disappeared and each of us were taken to a different world where we faced blood-thirsty zombies, frightening falls, and terrifying roller coasters. It was an immersive experience that took video games to a whole new level. My cousins, of course, were pros at the games; nothing shook them. Kathleen gleefully announced to the room every time she came into contact with a new, gruesome obstacle, and Thomas destroyed every level of each game with ease. My mother, however, shook with fear and stood, paralyzed, in the center of the room until we found a more relaxed simulation for her to experience.
Jake and Steve playing cornhole during a brief lull from the rain.
Once we tired of this game, we ate some lunch and broke out the cards and poker chips to play Screw Your Neighbor, a game my brother, Jake, introduced to us. By now, it was late into the afternoon and the rain had mostly subsided, so we decided to return to our original plans for the day and drive to Topgolf.
Let me start this by saying that the most golf I have ever played is a few rounds of putt-putt, and I was hopeless even at that game. In fact, running is just about the only sport I have any skill at; everything else requires a level of coordination that I, unfortunately, have not been gifted with. Luckily, I was in good company – my brother had only been to a driving range once, my father had not played in 20 years, and it had been even longer since my mom had played her first and only round of golf.
Topgolf reminded me a bit of a bowling alley. Everyone took turns hitting their ball into the turf where brightly colored, large holes caved into the ground. The farther away the hole was, the more points the player earned. The scores were recorded automatically by the computer at our table. I’m still not sure how the computer kept track of where our balls went when there were dozens being hit by guests every minute, all into the same turf, but the computer was almost always accurate in recording our scores.
It was a lot of fun. My uncle, Steve, is an experienced golfer, so he was able to give all of us novices some tips. At the beginning, I felt pretty hopeless about my skills – it was more than obvious that I had never played before. But after observing everyone else’s form, I began to get the hang of it and actually got a few decent strokes in. I am by no means a good golfer; I’m not event a decent golfer. But I hit the ball into the hole, and that was enough for me.
As the sky darkened, the holes in the turf were illuminated with lights that danced along to the music playing overhead. Our allotted game time came to an end, so we extended it by another half an hour, and then later, another half an hour on top of that. By the time we were finished playing, two hours had flown by without us even realizing. We were too engrossed in the gratification of when we finally hit the ball well, and the enjoyment of spending time with good company.
My relatives from Arizona – from left to right: Samuel, Kathleen, Thomas, Steve, and Isabella
The party did not end there. Well into the night, my family continued to revel in each other’s company. I was the first to retire to bed, still exhausted from the previous day’s travels.
One thing I loved about today is that none of it went according to plan, and that’s what made it so great. None of us could have known when planning this trip months ago that we would fly right into monsoon season; it was so surprising it was trending on my Twitter today. However, the rain giving life to the desert outside gave us a chance to spend time with one another without the distraction of tourist attractions. While I am eager to get out exploring Tucson, I was thankful for the day to re-explore the relationships that I haven’t had the chance to reconnect with in eight years. And when the rain finally did let up and we were able to go out, we were delighted to find that Topgolf, lit up by lights, was even more enjoyable over nighttime drinks and dinner.
Embrace the surprises and changes in life. And no matter what, remember that the best moments are made, not because of what you are doing, but because of the people you are with.
The first day of my vacation started with waking to the sound of pounding feet on a treadmill at 3a.m. I grudgingly slid out of my bed and exited my bedroom to see my dad completing his morning run before our long day ahead. We had to leave for our flight by 6:30. I yawned and headed upstairs to get ready. This day was getting an even earlier start than I had expected, but the excitement of what was ahead kept me from returning to my bed.
I got ready and went outside while the world was still dark for my own run. With a light belt around my waist and the flashlight on my phone leading the way, I jogged up and down my driveway, waking my tired muscles for the long trip ahead. The sky was just beginning to lighten as I headed back inside to shower.
My family and I packed our suitcases into the car and then headed to BWI airport. Jess, my brother’s girlfriend, dropped us off with a cheerful farewell, and then we headed to baggage claim.
Walking into the airport was like walking onto the set of an apocalyptic movie. Instead of milling with people, the lines were short with people spacing themselves out at least six feet apart. Everyone was wearing a mask. It was very different from my memories of this same airport from a year ago when I had flown to San Francisco for 4K for Cancer.
We checked our bags in record time, which meant that all the extra time we had allotted ourselves by arriving to the airport early was now just an extra two hours to kill before our plane departed. My family got pretzels from Auntie Anne’s while I bought a latte from Starbucks and a banana from Pinkberry Yogurt. I walked around the airport to stretch my legs while I still could, sipping my latte and talking to Joseph on the phone. I am missing my favorite travel buddy and photographer on this trip, who also happens to be my fiancé.
We boarded our plane at 10:30a.m., and soon we were soaring high in the sky. My family and I nodded off, already exhausted by our day. By this point, I had already been awake for eight hours, but our travels had only just begun.
Four hours later, we arrived in Denver for our layover. My mother, while comparing prices, had forgotten to check what our layover would be, which meant we accidentally got stuck with a four hour wait between flights. We ate lunch, and then Mom and I walked around the airport, window shopping. The Denver airport is the most entertaining airport I have ever been in. There were tons of shops to walk into, including a book store that caught my attention for a while. In the center of the airport is a large display of an airplane flying over platforms that have been decorated to look like ruins. The airport is filled with art exhibits to admire and enjoy, which made our walk much more entertaining than expected.
Our flight was scheduled to begin boarding at 4:35p.m. We seated ourselves at the gate at 4:00 to make sure we would have enough time. However, 4:35 came and went without any announcements. At 4:45, the gate attendant announced that they were beginning pre-boarding for the flight to Houston. My mother and I looked up at each other at the same time, our eyebrows knit in confusion. My mother stood and walked away to talk to an employee, and then she rushed back to us.
“We’re at the wrong gate,” she said. “Come on!” We gathered our belongings quickly and ran across the entire length of the airport. The gate where we were supposed to be (a different gate than what had been listed on our boarding passes) was completely empty. We rushed up to the gate attendant, who announced that the flight was fully boarded.
“I’m guessing you are the Didra family,” he said, making a few clicks on his computer. We confirmed this, and then, to our relief, he re-opened the gate for us. We rushed onto the plane, and less than two minutes later, we were once again lifting off into the sky above.
After nearly a four hour layover, we still almost missed our flight.
I spent the flight reading my book, Brain on Fire: My Month of Madness by Susannah Cahalan. It is a memoir that tells the story of a journalist from New York City who lost a month of her life due to some form of disease that took over her mind. It was so captivating that, before I knew it, we were landing in Tucson, Arizona.
The airport was desolate when we arrived. All of the shops were closed and apart from our fellow passengers, the terminals were empty. We picked up our luggage in record time and rented a car to drive to where my uncle, Steve, and his children, Isabella, Kathleen, Sam, and Thomas live. As soon as we started driving, we passed a cactus that towered far above me, and I couldn’t help but laugh at the irony. It was as if the landscape wanted to assure me that we were, in fact, now in the desert.
We arrived to a beautiful spread of food and a warm home. I have not seen my family in Arizona for over eight years. The kids I played with when I was a freshman in high school are now nearly grown.
We all sat around the dinner table, catching up, playing games, and enjoying one another’s company. I wanted to stay up later, but after being awake for 22 hours and flying over 2,000 miles, I was falling asleep sitting in my chair.
Luckily, I have a week here to reunite, reconnect and reminisce. Tonight, it is time for some much-needed rest.
Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you purchase a product after clicking the associated link, I will earn a small commission off of that purchase.
One of the most important things to have on a long flight is a smartly packed carry-on bag.
While doing some online searching, I was surprised to see that there was very little information about things to pack in a carry-on bag for people with different needs. As someone who has dealt with chronic illness for over the last decade, I know that symptoms can, and often do, flare up during travel. Luckily, as an experienced traveler, I have some insight on what someone with chronic illness may need on a long flight.
To be clear, most of the specialty items that I packed were for fibromyalgia and irritable bowel syndrome (IBS), but anyone who suffers from any type of gastrointestinal upset or chronic pain could find benefit from these products.
So, here is what I have in my carry-on bag for my upcoming trip to Arizona (a six hour flight with a four hour layover in Denver), including the usual, mundane items everyone has, and a couple of extra special items that I think you may find helpful for your next trip.
1. Book
For a long flight, it’s important to have something to pass the time. I personally enjoy catching up on my reading while flying. Currently, I am reading Brain On Fire: My Month Of Madness by Susannah Cahalan. I haven’t finished it yet, so I can’t give you a formal review, but thus far, it has been truly captivating and difficult to put down. I am very much looking forward to finishing this book during my trip.
2. Magnesium Plus Stick
This balm is a lifesaver. The Magnesium Plus Stick from Jordan Essentials is a lotion bar enhanced with magnesium, peppermint, basil, lavender, and frankincense. It provides fantastic relief for headaches, muscle aches, and other inflammation associated with chronic pain. After rubbing it on, the effects are almost instantaneous. I never go on a trip without it.
3. Extra supplements/medications
Most of my supplements/medications are packed away in my luggage, but there are a few I like to have on-hand just in case of some pain or stomach upset, or on the off-chance that the airline loses my luggage. I have extra doses of all of my essential pills in my carry-on, as well as a few extras, just in case.
For general health and wellness, I use an adult multivitamin from Equate. As a nutrition coach, I recommend everyone take a multivitamin daily to make sure they are getting in an adequate micronutrient intake.
I manage my IBS with the supplement form of Magnesium Citrate from NOW supplements, which helps regulate the typical wave pattern of constipation and diarrhea for this disease.
Insomnia is a very common side-effect of fibromyalgia. When your body is tense, it’s difficult to relax enough to fall asleep. To help with this, instead of taking prescription sleeping pills, I use a Melatonin supplement from Nature Made, the only supplement company regulated in the United States (for all other supplements, I make sure they are from reputable companies approved by foreign governments, like Canada, that regulate supplements; except for Nature Made, the FDA does not regulate any supplement companies in the U.S.).
When traveling, it can be difficult to get in enough vegetables, which are incredibly important for general health, gastrointestinal function, and inflammatory balance in the body. Just in case I am not able to eat my veggies, I packed my Amazing Grass Green Superfood Capsules, which offer a full serving of vegetables along with probiotics, digestive enzymes, and spirulina.
I never know when IBS symptoms are going to flare up, especially when traveling, so I always pack some Gas X Extra-Strength Soft Gels in case I need to calm my finicky intestines. On this note, I also packed TUMS, just in case my stomach has any trouble.
The last “just-in-case” medication I packed is Aleve. I always try to relieve my pain symptoms as naturally as possible, but sometimes, when the body aches won’t go away, an anti-inflammatory pill is a good solution. Aleve is my favorite because it won’t irritate my stomach the way ibuprofen will, and it provides pain relief for 12 hours.
4. Electrolyte powder and an empty, reusable water bottle
When you’re traveling, it can be difficult to drink enough water. No one wants to be constantly running to (or trying to find) a bathroom. To get the most out of the water I am drinking, I bring Propel electrolyte powders. They help give my body the hydration it needs, and they are low-FODMAP, so they aren’t going to upset my IBS.
You can’t get through TSA with a bottle of water. However, once you are through, you can fill up an environmentally-friendly, reusable water bottle. I like the Contigo brand of water bottles – the tops lock to reduce spills, they hold a lot of water, and they aren’t too expensive.
5. Protein bars
Everyone gets hungry when they are flying high in the sky. I personally like to pack protein bars to help me feel satiated for a long period of time. Simply Protein peanut butter cookies are not only delicious, but they are made with all-natural ingredients (unlike most protein bars, which are packed full of chemicals and/or sugar).
6. Neck pillow and eye mask
To rest my aching neck, or to catch a couple minutes of sleep, I like the ZOYLEE twist memory foam travel pillow. It can be formed to different shapes, so no matter how you are sitting, you can find a comfortable place to rest your head.
To block out the light, I use the Alaska Bear natural silk sleep mask. It’s comfortable, stays pretty cool, and protects my eyes from any light trying to break through.
7. Laptop
As a blogger, this is an essential on my trip. I absolutely love my MacBook Air. It has lasted longer than any other laptop I have ever owned, and it still works just as good as the day I bought it. It’s also sleek and lightweight, which makes it perfect for traveling.
High stress situations mean flare ups, both for fibromyalgia and IBS. To help curb this problem, and to keep my cool in general, I use the Jordan Essentials “peace” herbal blend roll-on. It’s a blend of grape seed, orange, ylang ylang, patchouli, clary, and frankincense oils. It is quite simply tranquility packaged in a bottle.
9. Headphones
Music and podcasts are a necessity on a long trip. I also use these in place of earplugs when I am trying to sleep. I love my JLab Audio JBuds Air Sport True wireless bluetooth earbuds. They have the longest battery life of any bluetooth headphones I have ever owned, and they are sweat resistant, which makes them perfect for running once I get to my destination.
10. Hand sanitizer
We are in the middle of a pandemic – enough said.
11. Peppermint tea
Ordering a cup of hot water, either on the plane or at a coffee shop, is a simple way to bring instant bliss when you have tea on hand. STASH peppermint tea is calming and soothing, not just for the mind, but also for the gastrointestinal tract.
12. Journal
I am a writer. I never go anywhere without my journal. I personally love this Busy Bee design from Lady Jayne Ltd. because I feel like it captures my personality perfectly. It makes me smile every time I look at it.
That’s it! I hope you have found this list helpful, whether you struggle with chronic illness or not, to help you create a carry-on bag that provides entertainment, peace of mind, and preparedness for any trip.
Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you purchase a product after clicking the associated link, I will gain a small commission off of that purchase.
Since the beginning of the novel coronavirus and stay-at-home order, date nights went from going out to dinner and a movie on a Friday night to cooking a nice meal at home and watching Netflix. At first, this was a welcome, intimate change, but after a while, the creativity seemed to run out. You can only eat the same meal and watch the same movie so many times before it starts to get old.
I have a solution for you. It’s still dinner and a movie, but with fun, inventive spin.
I love having themed date nights, when the activities, food, drinks, and movie all fit together for one entertaining experience. My latest themed night was based on the Disney Pixar film, Ratatouille.
It is a fun, family-friendly movie that’s perfect for a family movie night, or for just a chill night with your significant other. The biggest plus for this movie is that it is definitely going to make you feel hungry, which is perfect because this date night is filled with lots of food.
I hope you enjoy! If you try out this date night for yourself, please let me know how it goes. I would love to hear about your experience, and if you added any fun ideas of your own.
Drinks
As a little sneak preview to the night ahead, I made café au lait. This is a French coffee recipe that uses equal parts coffee and steamed milk. The recipe is just below.
I also recommend picking up a nice French wine, such as a tasty bottle of champagne or a Bordeaux to pair with dinner or dessert.
Café au Lait
Makes: 2 servings
Ingredients:
1 cup strong brewed coffee
1 cup steamed milk (see Notes)
sweetener of choice, to taste (see Notes)
Directions:
Steam milk with desired amount of sweetener.
Pour hot coffee into a mug and top with milk. Sprinkle with cinnamon, if desired.
Notes:
The best way I have found to steam any kind of milk (without a fancy milk steamer) is the following: Place milk in a food processor or blender and pulse for 30 seconds, or until the milk is frothy. Pour into a mug and heat in the microwave for 30 to 45 seconds (until hot but not deflated). This yields the perfect consistency and temperature. It works best for whole milk, but any type of milk will still gain body through this process.
I personally like to drink my coffee dark, but Joseph likes a little sweetener. What I have found works best is to put the sugar right into the milk before pouring it into the food processor. It helps add even more body to the milk, and it gently sweetens the coffee without being too over-powering.
Music
No date night is complete without a proper musical selection. I really enjoyed the French Cafe Lounge playlist on Spotify. Joseph and I listened to it while we made dinner, which lead to much more dancing than cooking (which, I have to admit, was really the goal all along).
Activity
Well, this would be cooking, of course! You have it easy tonight. Get in the kitchen together to make all of your dishes. The dessert is “build-your-own” style, so it is even more fun for everyone to get their aprons on and spend time in the kitchen together.
If this seems too simple, I recommend adding in a little extra dancing with your significant other. It’s incredible how just a little music can completely change the ambiance in the room. With the music playing in the background and each of us gazing into each other’s eyes, the kitchen turned into a delightful little café on the streets of Paris in moments.
Food
This is the fun part.
For dinner, the choice was obvious: Ratatouille. I am currently on a low-FODMAP diet, so I used the recipe from Wholesome Yum for inspiration, but tweaked the ingredients slightly to fit my diet. If you are free from any low-FODMAP restraints, feel free to head over to the Wholesome Yum website to follow that recipe. Otherwise, look below for my little notes and edits.
Low-FODMAP Ratatouille
Makes: 2 generous servings, or 4 to 6 smaller side dish-sized servings
Ingredients:
For the sauce:
1 14.5oz can no-salt-added diced tomatoes, drained
1 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil
1 tbsp balsamic vinegar
1 tsp Herbs de Provence (see Notes)
2 tbsp fresh basil
1/4 tsp sea salt, or to taste
For the vegetables:
3 medium roma tomatoes, sliced
2 medium (about 12oz) zucchini, sliced
1 small (about 1 pound) eggplant, sliced (see Notes)
1 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil
1/4 tsp sea salt
1/8 tsp ground black pepper
Directions:
Preheat oven to 375 degrees F.
Combine all the sauce ingredients in the bowl of a blender or food processor. Puree until smooth. Add salt and pepper, to taste.
Spread the sauce in a thin layer in a 1.5-quart round or oval casserole dish.
Arrange tomatoes, zucchini and eggplant in a spiral, alternating them. Drizzle with olive oil and sprinkle with sea salt and black pepper.
Bake for 30 to 35 minutes, or until the vegetables are tender and the sauce is bubbly at the edges.
Notes:
Herbs de Provence is a blend of thyme, basil, rosemary, tarragon, savory, marjoram, oregano, and bay leaf. We did not currently have this in our cupboard, but what we did have was Italian seasoning, which is a blend of basil, oregano, rosemary, thyme, sage, and coriander (if you are on a low-FODMAP diet, check your Italian seasoning blend closely – some like to sneak in a little garlic). So, we used Italian seasoning and marjoram, and it turned out fine.
Eggplants tend to be much bigger than zucchini and tomatoes, so you may need to cut your slices into halves or quarters to make them similar in size. My eggplant was rather small, so I was able to leave my slices whole.
For a little extra protein, we ate some shrimp with our ratatouille, but truly, the ratatouille was our main dish.
We paused the movie halfway through to eat dessert. I chose to do crepes. I also considered making macarons, but they are rather finicky to make. So, I decided to do something a little easier and more interactive for anyone who is not the main baker.
It may surprise you, but most crepe recipes are a little heavy in the carbs. Because they are so thin, I thought they would be healthier than pancakes, but no such luck occurred. So, I searched for a healthy crepe recipe and fell in love with the one posted on A Sweet Pea Chef. It is tasty and light, which is exactly what everyone wants their crepe to be.
Feel free to head over to A Sweet Pea Chef for the original recipe, or look below for a low-FODMAP version with my personal notes.
Low-FODMAP Crepes
Makes: 2 to 4 servings
Ingredients:
2 large eggs
1/2 cup milk of choice (I like to use unsweetened almond milk)
1/4 cup water
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 tbsp 100% pure maple syrup (not pancake syrup)
1/4 cup gluten-free flour blend (I used King Arthur Flour’s all-purpose gluten-free flour blend)
fillings and/or toppings of choice (see Notes)
Directions:
In a large mixing bowl, whisk together all the ingredients.
Heat a small skillet over medium-high heat and lightly grease with cooking spray.
Ladle about 1/4-cup of the batter into the skillet and gently rotate the pan to spread it evenly over the base of the skillet (the thickness should be similar to that of a tortilla).
Cook on low to medium heat, flipping as needed until cooked (see Notes).
Place the cooked crepe on a plate, add your favorite fillings, and fold or roll up. Add toppings of choice.
Notes:
There are so many delicious ways to fill and top crepes. I chose a traditional French version – I folded my crepes and then squeezed lemon juice on top and sprinkled them with powdered sugar. Joseph went for the more American version, with chocolate chips, powdered sugar and peanut butter. Other delicious filling and topping ideas include fresh fruit (such as berries or banana slices), Nutella, or whipped cream. Feel free to get creative with whatever you have in your pantry!
I always find that when I am making crepes, the first few are a disaster. When I was making these, I tried to flip them as little as possible. I waited until the last possible second, when it was starting to get rather brown, and then flipped the crepe, and they turned out perfectly. The crepes I flipped sooner were under-done in the middle and fell apart. It may take a few tries to get yours just right, but don’t worry! Ugly crepes are still delicious crepes.
Movie
At the end of your date, or just after dinner to strengthen your appetite for dessert, snuggle up on the couch and turn on the cartoon favorite, Ratatouille. It’s a fun way to end your French-themed day, and the movie is surprisingly moving at any age.
While we were making dinner, Joseph’s sister, Joanna, called to ask if we wanted to visit her and her husband, Dan, in Virginia. They moved to Leesburg nearly six months ago, and although they live only an hour and a half away, we had not yet had the chance to visit. Joseph is about to start graduate school, and I am about to leave for a trip, so we did not have much availability in our schedules. When Joseph told Joanna this, she proposed we visit the next day.
We agreed. After Joseph got off of the phone, I proposed that we turn this visit into a longer stay. We have made it our quest to visit all 50 states plus Washington, D.C., and this was an opportunity to cross Virginia off of our list.
It may sound spur of the moment, but after planning for a two-and-a-half week Colorado road trip in only a few days, this seemed almost simple.
So, we packed snacks we had left over from our last trip, stuffed our clothes into overnight bags, and planned for where we wanted to visit during our trip.
To officially say that we visited a state, there are a couple of things we have agreed we need to do. We want to walk a main street, eat (or drink) at a local restaurant, hike at a national park, and visit a tourist or scenic spot. Only after completing all of these tasks can we visit a Starbucks and purchase our souvenir: A mug from the “Been There” series.
For this trip, we knew we would cross off the main street and local eatery with Joanna and Dan. After some research, we decided to hike at Shenandoah National Park and then visit Luray Caverns. It was an extra two hours of driving away from home, but we knew it would be worth it.
On Wednesday, we arrived in Virginia during the hottest part of the afternoon. As soon as we stepped out of the car, I was reminded that the hot and muggy weather in Maryland does not even compare to the moist heat in Virginia.
Joanna and Dan were both still at work when we arrived. Luckily, Joanna had sent us some ideas of things to do. We went to Ball’s Bluff Battlefield Regional Park, one of her favorite hiking spots. The park is the site where the Battle of Balls Bluff during the Civil War took place. It was interesting walking around the silent, serene trails, knowing it was a spot drenched in bloody history. This was a spot where the Confederate Army had won the fight. According to the American Battlefield Trust, the Union had 1,002 casualties that day.
After hiking, we went to visit Joanna and Dan at their apartment. It was an exciting reunion. We have not seen either of them in months, and the four of us have not spent time alone together in almost a year.
Joanna and Dan treated us to SideBar, a restaurant in downtown Leesburg. Like many of the businesses on the street, the restaurant was situated in renovated homes built in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries. The food was delicious. Our favorite dish was the sweet potato fries, which were topped with candied bacon and brie, and served with a maple sriracha sauce.
During dinner, the four of us got to talking about the Black Lives Matter movement and how it has affected the lives of those closest to us. It seems like so many people have different opinions on this movement. The four of us all fully support the peaceful protests, though we know that if we really want to see change happen, it starts with us in our personal lives. Joanna and Dan had a number of recommended podcasts for us to listen to, including 1619, an audio series created by the New York Times to enlighten listeners about the history of slavery in America and how it has impacted our country today. 1619 was the year the first enslaved Africans were brought to this country. What the four of us agreed on most is that, through all of this, the best way we can help is to educate ourselves on what has happened and what is happening in America, and then we can know better what we can do to help.
“We’ve learned that we have to speak up,” Joanna told us. “It’s not enough to just not say or do racist things. We have to call others out when they are doing something racist. And we have to be comfortable looking at ourselves and discovering where we may have biases, too.”
After dinner, we walked along the main street, taking in the sights and soaking in the historical significance of the place. We passed by homes that had been built centuries ago and signs commemorating the significant moments that had taken place there. The most notable things were the Civil War artifacts and commemorative items. According to the Thomas Balch Library website, Leesburg (originally called George Town) was built in 1740; it was named after the Lee family in 1758. We stopped at a sign in front of an old house on the street, where Robert E. Lee was treated for battle wounds he incurred during the Second Battle of Manassas (this battle occurred a little less than a year after the Battle of Balls Bluff – it was also a Confederate victory). As we walked, we passed by more historical markers, including Confederate statutes that, according to Joanna and Dan, the local government is debating removing.
On our way back to our car, we passed by a house on the market that the real estate agent, who was sitting on the front porch, claimed to be haunted. I grudgingly agreed to look around the house with my enthusiastic companions. We did not personally witness any paranormal activity, but the vibes in the home were disturbing to say the least, and I was grateful when we decided to leave.
We returned to the apartment, where we relaxed and spent more time with Joseph’s family, my soon-to-be relatives. I am so very grateful for their hospitality. It felt good to finally have the chance to catch up with them and what has been happening in their lives. Besides the fact that Joseph is more than the man I ever dreamed of marrying, I cannot believe I am so lucky that his family members are some of the kindest, most generous people I have ever met. I am very excited to be a part of this family.
When we awoke the following morning, Joanna and Dan had already left for work. Joseph and I ate a quick breakfast, and then we packed our belongings and headed out for another day of adventure.
The drive to Shenandoah was almost like déjà vu. The mountains in the distance were reminiscent of the Colorado landscape we had been traveling through not long ago. Despite these mountains being smaller than their western counterparts, they were still magnificent. They stretched so high into the sky that their tips were hidden away by the white clouds.
We drove up to Stony Man Mountain, a decent hike with breathtaking views of the world below. Little Stony Man had the greatest view; from there we could see Skyline Drive winding through the trees far below. We continued hiking to the top of the summit where we were greeted with, not a view of the world below, but that of the one above. Instead of looking out at mountains and trees, we walked straight into a cloud. A white haze engulfed us while a cool mist ran across our hot, sweaty skin, shielding us from the oppressive Virginia heat. It was not the finale we were expecting to our hike, but it was one of the neatest experiences I have had at the top of a mountain.
Our next stop was Luray Caverns. I had visited the attraction when I was a young child, and while I remembered very few specifics, I could recall how fantastic the views were. Joseph, who had never been, was more skeptical.
“Where are the caverns,” he asked as we drove into the parking lot. “Are they behind the buildings?”
“They’re beneath us,” I told him with a smile. I could tell that I had piqued his interested, but he still balked at the $30 entrance fee.
As soon as we stepped into the cavern, the air chilled around us as if we had been plunged into cold water. We traveled deeper into the darkness, gazing in wonder at the rocks growing up around us. The packet we had been given for our self-guided tour told us that the caverns have been growing, inch by inch, over hundreds of millions of years. At every turn, Joseph and I tapped on each other’s shoulders and pointed to different, incredible sights. We gazed together in wonder at Mirror Lake, the largest body of water in Luray Caverns. The water projects a perfect mirror image of the ceiling above, which gives it the illusion that it is several feet deep and filled with stalagmites (when, in actuality, it has only 20 inches of water at its deepest point). Thin rock formations hung from the ceiling like veils while deep hollows plunged into darkness beside us. In one room, we were greeted by ethereal music, played like a music box from an organ that uses the speleothems around it to produce the different notes.
“This was definitely worth $30,” Joseph told me, and I beamed.
On our way home, we visited Starbucks to buy lattes and our Virginia mug, the reward for our efforts. By the time we got home, we were tired and hungry, but the burgers in the fridge and pint of ice cream waiting in the freezer were a welcome change from the makeshift meals we had made during our road trip in Colorado. I had not expected to go traveling again so soon after our last trip, but this short little adventure had been more than worth it.
And just like always, I feel like our travels taught me something. Once again, I had to step out of my comfort zone to face and experience the world around me. There are quite a few alarming things happening in our country right now, one being the realization of the treatment of some of our fellow Americans. But as we discussed in our conversations with Joanna and Dan at dinner, one of the best things we can do is to educate ourselves on the topic, and then to not sit idly by when we see injustices take place. One of the best ways I have learned to do this is through my travels. This trip gave me the opportunity to have real conversations with people, and to take a step into history. It gave me a chance to catch just a glimpse of where all of this suffering, inequity and discrimination began. And now this blog and the life I have returned to are my opportunities to use that knowledge to do my part in creating change.
As Joseph said on the top of the Stony Man Mountain, “We are officially adventurers now.” Adventurers are people who seek new experiences, who step outside of their comfort zone in the pursuit of understanding what life truly is. Adventurers are those who take risks, even if it puts them in harm’s way, to create lives that are truly meaningful, for themselves and others. Adventurers seek to find beauty where others may miss it, and along the way, they attempt to connect with other people and build friendships in unlikely places.
We are adventurers, and this blog is just one small attempt to create a little space for beauty, connection and inspiration for this world around us.
I remember when the ground turkey craze first started. Finally, there was a viable, healthy alternative to eating chicken in every meal. Ground turkey became the new star of so many of my favorite dishes.
The only problem was, while ground turkey seemed to make a great substitute for beef, it just didn’t possess the same level of flavor. In some dishes, like spaghetti, I was able to mask the lack of flavor from the turkey with the richness of other ingredients. However, any dish where the turkey was supposed to be the star always ended up being disappointing.
Burgers were the dish that disappointed me the most. I have fond memories from my childhood of lazy summer afternoons, my father grilling succulent burgers on the back deck. I wanted to be able to experience that delicious flavor again, but still be loving my body while eating it.
Now, I have the answer. After years, I am surprised to say that I have discovered a low-FODMAP way to create the best turkey burgers I have ever tasted.
This discovery was made with my fiancé, Joseph, while we were grilling this summer. He had decided to start eating turkey burgers as a healthier alternative, and I was attempting turkey burgers again because the low-FODMAP diet made my veggie burgers now a forbidden food (I must bid a sad farewell to my favorite MorningStar burgers).
I found a simple burger seasoning recipe online, and after tweaking the ingredients a little, it was a low-FODMAP achievement that deserves a spot in every cookbook. The secret is this: Instead of mixing the seasoning into the meat, Joseph had the brilliant idea of using it as a rub on the already-formed, raw burger patties. The result is a spicy, flavorful, succulent burger that dares to compete with the burgers from my childhood.
Check out the recipe below, and leave me a comment about what you think! I would love to hear how they turned out for you, and your favorite ways to use ground turkey.
Low-FODMAP Turkey Burgers
Makes: 4 burgers
Ingredients:
1 pound 93% lean ground turkey
1 tbsp paprika
1 tsp kosher salt
1 tsp freshly ground black pepper
1/2 tsp red pepper flakes
Directions:
Mix seasonings together in a small bowl.
Form turkey into four patties. Spread the seasoning evenly over each patty, then rub the seasoning over the surface of the meat.
Grill to your desired level of doneness. Enjoy!
Notes:
The thicker the burgers, the more juicy and succulent they are. We have found that making four burgers out of one pound of meat is the perfect amount.
The seasoning recipe was originally inspired by the Easy Burger Seasoning Blend recipe on The Spruce Eats. If you aren’t restricted by a low-FODMAP diet, check out their recipe – it just adds a little garlic and onion, which I am sure would be a delicious addition.
After nearly two-and-a-half weeks, our road trip adventure has come to an end.
Our morning began at a popular rest stop parking lot in Ohio. We did a quick bodyweight workout to get our muscles stretched and moving before the long car ride we had planned. While I was getting ready, Joseph found a coffee vending machine that gave us the delicious elixir for a fraction of the price we normally pay. Armed with caffeine and a sugary breakfast, we began our trip home.
Our main objective today, besides driving home, was to pick up my engagement ring. After nearly a month, it was finally ready for pick-up. The only problem was this: The ring store closed at six o’clock, which gave us very little time to rest during our drive. We knew we could make it, but we had to skip lunch to do it. This, however, seemed like a small price to pay for finally having the symbol of our engagement back where it belonged.
The unfortunate roadblock to our success came at three o’clock. Joseph received a phone call from Stevenson University, which seemed odd to both of us because he graduated from that school in May. When Joseph answered, we discovered it was a call from the security office.
“I just received a call from a gentleman in Pennsylvania who has found your wallet,” the security officer said. Joseph and I both looked at each other in shock, and then, as if it were even possible to find it, we began looking around the car for the misplaced item.
“I’m not sure if you even knew it was missing,” the security officer continued.
“No, I didn’t,” Joseph said as reality set in for both of us. We had stopped for gas in Pennsylvania…three hours ago.
The security officer gave us the phone number of the man who found the wallet. Joseph called the number, but the man, identified as Cliff by his voicemail, did not answer. We began the drive back, hoping to receive a return call soon.
As actuality of what was happening finally set in, I began to cry. I was disappointed about the ring, of course, but I was more upset because I believed that it was my fault. Joseph had given me his wallet to fill up the car with gas while he visited the restroom. I realized that I must have left it at the pump, which meant that the added six hours of driving, the lost opportunity to pick up my ring, and the little rest and recovery we were actually going to get tonight were my fault.
Joseph tried in vain to console me as I sobbed in the seat beside him. I could see he was close to laughing about the situation, but I could not seem to join him in his amusement.
We received a call about 30 minutes into our drive from Cliff. He was a kind, older gentleman who lived in Pennsylvania. He said he had found the wallet on an on-ramp to the highway. Confused by this, Joseph and I both looked at each other.
“We must have left it on top of the car,” Joseph said, which begged a new question: Which of us left it there? Did I put the wallet there while trying to purchase gas? Or did I return the wallet to Joseph, when he had been unable to find a restroom, and then he put it on the car while he finished pumping the gas?
After we told Cliff how far away we were, he told us it did not make much sense for us to drive all that way.
“I will just mail it to you tomorrow,” he said. A spark of hope ignited in both of our hearts. We thanked him profusely, and as Joseph gave Cliff his address, he drove the car onto an exit to turn it back in the direction of Zales.
We lost an hour of driving, but we were both now in happier spirits. Not knowing who left the wallet was the best situation because both of us have a tendency to be angry at ourselves but almost never at the other person. We could not help but laugh and shake our heads at the irony of losing his wallet on the last day of our trip.
We arrived at Zales with thirty minutes to spare. At last, my ring was returned to where it belonged. I did not realize how much I had missed it until I had it back. It seems so simple, so insignificant, but it honestly feels like the last part that was missing inside of me has fallen back into place. This ring is a reminder and a symbol of the promise I have made. It brings me joy every time I look at it.
Our beautiful engagement pictures were taken by the very talented Jon Mauler. To see more of his incredible work, visit his website: https://www.jonmauler.com/
The rest of the ride home was uneventful. We sipped on lattes even though it was far too late to drink espresso; at our level of exhaustion, nothing was going to keep us awake tonight. We listened to music and savored our last few moments together before life became normal once again.
“What should be our final song,” Joseph asked me minutes before arriving home. Music was one of the first things we ever connected on, and it has remained a core part of our relationship. We have a theme song for nearly every moment spent together.
“You choose,” I told him. I trust his taste in music as much I trust him with my future.
A moment later, he had turned on the song Colorado by CHAPPY. As I knew it would be, this song was the perfect choice. We listened together, thinking back over all of our memories: The mountain hikes; strolling main streets with coffee in hand; our fights and our moments of bliss; the long drives; camping under the stars; exploring the wilderness outside and within ourselves, and finding it was much less intimidating than we thought; and our perfect moment beneath the fireworks, a celebration and a resolution to an unforgettable journey.
Our travels were filled with twists and turns. It had metaphorical and physical mountains we had to climb and conquer, which lead to views and resolutions too incredible to describe. When we began this trip, I thought it was just going to be a celebration of our engagement. I did not realize that we were both looking for something when we embarked on this adventure.
The song ended with the sentiment, “I am unfinished. Yes, I am not done. Still, it’s up here in the mountains, I defined my home.” As the final chord struck, Joseph turned to me.
“And it’s you,” he said. “You are my home.” I smiled as we pulled onto the road leading to my house.
“You are my home and my adventure all at once,” I told him.
This chapter of my story has ended. I cannot wait to write the next one with him.
I did not realize how clean and refreshing the air in Colorado was until I woke up this morning in a hot, sweaty car, condensation dripping down the windows in the muggy Kansas morning air. I was covered in bug bites thanks to the mosquito that decided to sleep with me last night. I longed so much to return to the mountains of Colorado, but this was the morning of our second day driving back to Maryland.
Joseph and I started the day with a 5K run around the lake we slept next to. The humidity we had forgotten was heavy in our lungs. We were dripping in sweat only a mile into the run. Nevertheless, we pushed through, and at the end we rewarded ourselves with an unconventional bath in the lake. Joseph had the smart idea of placing our soap and loofah in one of our plastic food containers; it served as a makeshift bath caddy that floated in the water next to us.
The water actually felt refreshing after our run. I was reluctant to get out, but we had a long day of driving ahead of us. Our hope was to make it to Columbus, Ohio, which was eleven hours away. To do this, we would also be crossing over a time zone line, which meant we were going to lose an hour of daylight. But, we were determined to get as close to Maryland as possible so we had less driving tomorrow. Our main motivation for this was to pick up my engagement ring. Our route home is supposed to take us through the town the store is in, but if we don’t get there by six o’clock tomorrow evening, we won’t have a chance to pick it up for at least another week.
We began the drive, both tired from the previous long day of traveling. For much of the morning and afternoon, we were quiet. We listened to podcasts and music, and we tried to relax as much as we could while our backs ached from sitting for so long.
Near the end of the afternoon, we decided to listen to a podcast about my enneagram. The enneagram is a personality test that Joseph and I were interested in at the beginning of this trip. We both figured out which enneagram we are (I am a two and Joseph is a three), but after that, Joseph did much more soul-searching and discovering than I did. A week ago, he mentioned a podcast he wanted to listen to with me about my own personality, but I had put it off until today.
It was illuminating. I feel like I have not understood myself until this moment in my life. Everything about my actions, my motivations, and my thoughts actually makes sense now. The thing that characterizes twos is their desire to give and receive love, which is so strong that it can be achieved in unhealthy ways, such as neglecting self-care and manipulating others. The way to solve this is to make time for taking care of one’s own needs, which then gives the two enough energy to give more love to others without expecting anything in return.
As I have mentioned a few times, I have been struggling with my health for the past year. One of the main reasons for this is because I let it get so much worse than it needed to before finally dealing with it. I thought it was selfish to spend the time and money to take care of myself, as well as to express any needs I had to others. However, because of this, I felt so unfulfilled in the last year because I did not have any energy to engage in the normal service and giving that I am used to doing. I always felt like I was not doing enough for others, which only fueled my disappointment in myself. This, in turn, demotivated me even more to take care of myself.
It has been a vicious cycle, but I am learning now that it is important to love myself in order to love others well. It is the message I have been trying to grasp onto in the last year, but I think now I finally understand it.
The most important thing that I have to remember is this: While loving relationships are important, God is my source of love and care. He gives me everything I need. He loves me unconditionally. I do not need love from others to fill my cup; He is what sustains me. He delights in me and who I am because He created me. And He wants me to rest when I need to and to take care of myself so that I am able to do the work He has created me for.
I was honestly disappointed about the idea of going home after such an amazing trip, but having this knowledge fills me with such excitement about my future. I think something finally clicked into place, and now I feel like myself again.
After learning more about my enneagram, Joseph and I talked more deeply about each of our personalities. I find it interesting how we approach so much of life similarly, yet for such different motivations. It is important to me to serve others, both because I am filled by loving others and because I have an intrinsic belief that this is how I will receive love (which is not necessarily true). Joseph wants to serve others because he believes that is the ultimate way to live, and he is motivated by his desire for personal achievement and to not disappoint others or himself. On the outside, it looks as if we are doing the same thing, but on the inside, we have two very different internal battles taking place.
One of the most important things for any relationship is communication. The fact that we know about each others’ personalities, motivations, and thought processes helps us to have better empathy and compassion for each other. I feel that this trip has helped us both understand one another on such a deeper level, and I am excited to see what impact that will have on our future together.
Joseph and I stopped for dinner at a rest stop. We watched the sunset, feeling content and satisfied. This trip has been an amazing journey for so many reasons. We have learned more about ourselves, each other, and who we are together.
Based on what I have discovered, I could not be more enthusiastic and hopeful about our future together.
P.S. There will be more to come on the enneagram soon, and a little challenge for you! Check out the blog next week for my journey deeper into self-discovery and, hopefully, actualization.
. I haven’t finished it yet, so I can’t give you a formal review, but thus far, it has been truly captivating and difficult to put down. I am very much looking forward to finishing this book during my trip.
