Since the novel coronavirus hit in march, unemployment rates have been on the rise and many people have been concerned about the state of their wages. For those who are working, some people have had their salaries dropped, and I have many friends and family members who are worried that, if a second wave of the virus happens, they will lose their jobs, too.
I have never had a consistent income. Before and during college, I worked part-time jobs to make ends meet, and after school, I worked mostly freelance jobs, which meant there was never a consistent amount of money coming in. This never bothered me – I learned how to manage my money in a way that worked for me. So, when the virus hit, and my freelance jobs began to disappear, the way I budgeted my money actually stayed the same.
Many people take specific amounts out of their paychecks each week or month for savings or to give to charity. Because I have never had a consistent amount of money coming in, instead of taking out specific amounts of money, I split up my paycheck by percentages. This way, no matter how much I am earning, I always know how much money I have available for spending, how much should go into savings, the minimum amount I want to give to charity, etc.
This is not the ideal way for everyone to split up their incoming funds, but it works for me. And during such uncertain times, when paychecks seem to be less consistent for many people, I thought I would share how I split up my money as a possible option for others. You can use the percentages listed below, or just use my formula as a starting point to create a budget that works best for you!
My budget
Spend account – 60 percent (40 percent for essentials and 20 percent for recreational spendin)
The biggest chunk of my money goes into my spend account. The key here is that, hopefully, I won’t actually spend all of this money. This account also functions as a short-term savings account for bigger, unexpected expenditures. This is always the account I dip into first for any purchases, big or small, expected or unexpected.
Charitable giving – 10 percent
Ten percent of everything I earn is donated to charitable organizations of my choice. The organizations I donate to most frequently include Compassion International (I sponsor a child living in Ecuador), the Ulman Foundation, and United Church. I love also letting this account build up sometimes, so when I am asked for more sizable donations, I have the means to give. To be honest, though, I have a hard time saying “no” to people when they ask for support, so this account normally drops into a deficit, meaning I take some funds out of my spend account to donate, too.
Savings – 10 percent
Ten percent of everything I earn also immediately goes into savings. These are my long-term savings that I don’t touch unless it is an absolute emergency, or for very large purchases that I can’t cover from my spend account alone. As suggested by Dave Ramsay, I always try to have a minimum of $1,000 in this account in case of an emergency.
Adventure Fund – 10 percent
I am a saver, not a spender. I learned a long time ago that this meant I rarely spent on myself, which meant I ended up never doing anything that I really wanted to do with my life. So, I wrote myself a bucket list, and anytime I take a step towards achieving one of those goals, I take the money from my adventure fund. It’s a savings account for all of the life experiences I want to have. These include fun trips, like my road trip to Colorado, but also more practical purchases that are important to me, such as going to college and buying a home in the future.
Loan payments – 10 percent
Another 10 percent of my paycheck is designated to pay off debts, such as college loans. If there isn’t enough in this account to pay for loans, I take money out of my spend account, adventure fund, and savings (I also often take money from these accounts anyway to put extra money on my loan payments – the faster they are paid off, the better).
For me, having a budget has not been restrictive, but freeing! Knowing what I have to spend and feeling reassured that I have money set aside for paying off debts and saving for the future makes me feel more comfortable spending money on things that I want and need.
Comment below if you have tips to share on how you best budget your money, or if you have any questions about my budget formula!
“Sometimes, I wish you’d pay more attention to my favorite songs because the lyrics sing words I’m too scared to say.” -unknown
When I was a teenager, this was one of my favorite quotes. I used to think about it as I listened to music with deep lyrics, feeling like no one understood.
Since then, I have learned that I am not, in fact, alone, and that I do not have to rely on artists and their creative works to express my feelings. I have a voice of my own.
However, I still love the idea that music speaks deeper into the soul than words do alone. I think that’s true. There’s something about the swell of instruments behind the perfect, poetic lyrics that have the ability to move people to tears or to dance.
Music has always been a big part of my life. I have pictures of me with an instrument in my hands before I could walk. Music is a gene that runs in my family the way blue eyes or crooked toes pass through the generations in others.
When Joseph and I first met, we realized we had a lot of similarities, including a shared love of music. We are both pianists, and we have similar tastes in the music we listen to. It may seem silly to some, but for both of us, enjoying the same type of music was a requirement of the person we dated. Music is such a big part of both of our lives, neither of us could imagine being in a relationship with someone who didn’t like the same music we did.
Colorado road trip day one
Joseph and I spent almost the entirety of our second date driving around in his car, talking and listening to music. This also happened to be the date that I fell head over heels for him.
Since that date, we have continued to listen to, share, and create music together. Joseph created a playlist for us in the second month of our relationship, and we have been curating it ever since. And since the very first time we listened to music together, I can always expect when I hop into Joseph’s car that he will have a new song to share with me.
So, it is only fitting that on the first day of our Colorado road trip, I found the perfect driving activity for us on Pinterest: A guide for making a soundtrack playlist for our lives. We had so much fun choosing meaningful songs, ordering them according to our life story, and sharing the playlists with one another.
While listening to our playlists, I was brought back to that quote from my teenage years. The lyrics in those songs, placed in a particular order, did a better job of telling my life story than I could ever write. I felt like anyone who listened to that playlist would be able to get to know so much about me in just a little over an hour. Music has a way of capturing and sharing the human soul in such a powerful way, and that playlist had the whisperings of my soul written all over it.
So, without further ado, here is my playlist, and my reasons for choosing each song. I hope you enjoy listening, and if you have the chance, please create your own “life soundtrack” and leave the song names or link in the comments. I would love the chance to listen and get to know you a little better, too.
Opening credits – I Love Me by Demi Lovato (E)
When this song came out, I felt like the lyrics spoke directly into my heart. It’s such a perfect way to describe the internal struggle I have felt all of my life. I am a perfectionist, and I always find myself striving to be better. Honestly, most of the time, I just want to feel “good enough.” In the last year, I have learned how important it is to love myself – I need to love myself in order to love anyone else well. It’s been a journey getting to this point, and I think it is something I will continue to struggle with for the rest of my life. But I think the continued struggle and growth in this area of my life makes this the perfect opening song for my “soundtrack.” Plus, it’s upbeat, powerful melody makes it a great song to start off a movie and accompany the opening credits.
Campus Crusade for Christ retreat – I am created with a purpose
Waking up – Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen
I actually have gotten ready to this song…many, many times. It gets me moving and motivated for my day. I can just see the movie montage of my early morning routine playing along with this song.
Break up – The Breakup Song by Francesca Battistelli
I’m going out of order now, but I wanted to arrange the songs toreflect my life. My last big relationship ended before I went to college. However, this song speaks to more than just that relationship. The other thing I had to break up with before leaving for school was the actual subject of this song: Fear. I had always been naturally academic, but my health declined so sharply my junior year of high school that I had to leave. My senior year, I never stepped foot in my high school; instead, I took classes at the local college so I could schedule them around the times of day that I felt my worst. The idea of leaving home and going to a university after graduation, something I had always been excited about, started to terrify me. I didn’t know how I was going to manage the stress of school, a job, and taking care of my health. But, as Ellen Johnson Sirleaf said, “If your dreams do not scare you, they are not big enough.” So, I enrolled at Stevenson University, put my faith in God, and left the life I knew to pursue my dream. I have never regretted that decision.
High school graduation
First day of school – Whatever It Takes by Imagine Dragons
Like I mentioned, starting college was a big step and took a lot of perseverance. I think this song perfectly captures, not just the first day of school, but every day after that. I was doing whatever it took to graduate. And while my focus was spent on that, I lost myself a bit, which leads into the next song.
Fight song – Even If by MercyMe
When I was making my playlist, I didn’t even think twice in choosing my fight song. It was only when Joseph mentioned his choice (the much more upbeat Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin) that I realized the prompt probably meant a song that makes you move, not an introspective song. But, for me, that battle has always been internal. After being diagnosed with so many different chronic illnesses, my faith in God began to waiver. I didn’t understand why such a heavy burden had been placed on my life. God’s answer to me came in a song. Even If by MercyMe tackles the difficult topic of keeping faith even in the midst of the struggle, especially when that struggle doesn’t have an end date. It’s a moving piece that has always brought me tears and emboldened me to take on any challenge that comes my way. My faith, no matter what happens, is in God and his unfailing love.
Graduation – New Start by Weary Friend
I feel like this song beautifully captured how it felt when I graduated. I didn’t have much of a direction in mind. My first plan was to spend the summer running across the country as part of the Ulman Foundation’s 4K for Cancer program. Because of this commitment, I had not been able to line up a job yet, so I couldn’t envision much of the future beyond the summer season. But, for some reason, this didn’t really bother me. I trusted that everything was going to work out for the best, and I threw myself entirely into whatever the next adventure was going to be.
Graduation from Stevenson University
Falling in love – Could I Love You Any More? by Reneé Dominique ft. Jason Mraz
Just before graduating, I met the love my life. A little over a month into our relationship, he surprised me during a hike with his speaker and our first dance. This was the song he chose. I never could have picked a better song for us. Every day of our relationship, I have felt like I could not possibly love him any more than I already do, and yet, every day, I love him more than the last
Mental breakdown – In My Blood by Shawn Mendes
My health failed me again, the career opportunities did not pan out as expected, and some difficult circumstances had stripped me of my self-confidence. And I felt like it was all my fault. This was the song I listened to, the volume cranked up as far as it would go on my headphones, wondering where it had all gone wrong.
Flashback – Yellow by Coldplay
Joseph was the person who pulled me out of that dark place. He gave me the support and love I needed, and he reminded me of my faith in God. As we talked one day, this song started to play. It’s the earliest song I can remember listening to on repeat. When I was young, all I knew was that yellow was my favorite color, so I loved the song. As I grew older, I fell in love with the lyrics, and I dreamed of a man one day playing this song for me. Joseph fulfilled that dream, and he far surpassed so many others.
Job/Career – If I was by Susto
I started to grow my holistic health business, Evolve, while continuing to pursue my freelance writing career. The common strain between both of these jobs, and everything I have ever done, is that I just want to help people and love them well. I feel this song captures that sentiment in such a poetic way.
Teaching yoga at Stevenson University
Wedding – At Last by Etta James
Now, we are looking into the future, because these moments have not yet occurred. But I picked the songs I thought were most appropriate. For my wedding, I chose this song, because Joseph and I both love of jazz music, and we plan on playing ‘40s music at our wedding. This song particularly captures that feeling of comfort and contentment when you know you have found the person you are going to spend the rest of your life with.
Birth of a child – Never Grow Up by Taylor Swift
Life is beautiful, but it is full of pain. I know when I have a child, I am going to want to shelter him or her from all of that, even though I can’t. This song, with instrumentals reminiscent of a lullaby, is that hopeful message of a mother to her child.
Life – Fix You by Coldplay
This is my “trailer song.” I always imagined that if my life were made into a movie, this would be the song during the trailer. I have always loved this song. It’s comforting yet honest. Life is hard; but together, we can mend our broken parts.
With my family at my grandmother’s celebration of life
Being an old hag – Dream by Priscilla Ahn
I really hope that I never become so ornery and impatient that people describe me as a “hag,” so I chose instead to find a song that is how I hope to feel when reflecting back on life in my old age. I feel like this song describes me perfectly as a child, and then as a teenager and young adult. So, hopefully, one day it will describe me in my old age as well.
Death – Stuff We Did by Michael Giacchino
On my third date with Joseph, we went for a ten-mile hike, but I’m not sure if it was actually supposed to be that long. We got lost in the woods for a while. When we broke through the trees, Joseph called out, “Adventure is out there!” With my thumb stuck up, I responded, “Adventure is out there.” He loved that I got the reference, and we discovered then our mutual love for Disney’s and Pixar’s “Up.” “Adventure is out there” has become the tagline of our relationship. So, for my death, I couldn’t think of a better song than that poignantly beautiful piano melody that plays when the main character, Carl Fredricksen, looks back over the pictures of his life with Ellie, his recently deceased wife. It’s a bittersweet moment, one that makes my eyes well up with tears every time I watch it. I hope that, when I die, it’s the good memories that are focused on, rather than the pain of departure from this life.
Dancing with Joseph to our song, just before he proposed
Funeral – To Build a Home by The Cinematic Orchestra and Patrick Watson
There is so much that we will build together in life, but one day, it will turn to dust. At that time, let’s not focus on what we have lost, but on the joy of the journey we took together. Life, and what we create in it, is finite, but love and its power is eternal.
Ending Credits Song One – Three Little Birds by Branches
The first time I heard this song, I thought it should be a part of a movie soundtrack. It’s a cover of the song by Bob Marley, but it is so very different from the original version. Instead of an upbeat, fun tune, it’s powerful and touching. The message, however, remains the same: Everything is going to be alright. I cannot think of a better ending to my story.
Ending Credits Song Two – Somewhere In Between by August Wilhelmsson
Ending credits in movies normally have two songs, one with lyrics and one without, so I thought it only appropriate that I do the same for my movie. This is a song I have often played during my meditations. It reminds me of just how small I am in this universe, but how very precious my life still is. This song makes me stop and notice the beauty of the world around me. It’s the song that makes me pause and just be for a moment. At the end of my movie, that is what I would hope the viewer would do, too. Pause for a moment. Breathe. Feel your heart beating within in your chest. Recognize the fragility of life, and consider, not how that truth limits our experience on earth, but how it makes it more precious. Let gratitude fill your soul. And just be.
P.S. I also wanted to include the link to Joseph’s playlist. He has amazing taste in music (I often believe it’s better than mine, but don’t tell him that), and his playlist beautifully captures his life and who he is.
Opening credits – Morning Sun by Melody Gardot
Waking up – Breathe (In the Air) by Pink Floyd
First day of school – Thus Little Light of Mine by Rend Collective
Break Up – Moving on and Getting Over by John Mayer
Fight song – Immigrant Song by Led Zeppelin
Mental breakdown – 1-800-273-8255 by Logic
Falling in Love – Could I Love You Any More? by Reneé Dominique ft. Jason Mraz
Graduation – It’s been a long, long time by Harry James
Wedding – No Matter Where You Are (Wedding Version) by Us the Duo
Career/Job – You Do You by Jason Mraz ft. Tiffany Haddish
Birth of a child – It’s You I Like by Ellie Schmidly
Life – Living of Love by The Avett Brothers
Flashback – A Little Bit of Everything by Dawes
Being an old hag – Retired by Carl Broemel
Death – No Hard Feelings by The Avett Brothers
Funeral – On the Nature of Daylight by Max Richter
End Credits song one – Sweet Dreams by Roy Buchanan
My name is Tyler, and this is my first blog post. For most of my posts, I plan on writing about things actually happening in my life, or about topics that I find interesting (and I think you will, too!). But, I thought I would use this opportunity to tell you a little bit about myself.
I grew up in southern Maryland, and I have been a writer for as long as I can remember. I wrote my first short story when I was four years old about the ants that had trespassed into my house, and I have been writing stories ever since.
For most of my life, fiction was my main form of writing. I loved using my imagination and escaping into the worlds I created. My characters were almost as important to me as the real people I knew in my life.
When I started college, everyone expected me to be an English major. But I went for communications instead. It was the “smart” choice, because it gave me to opportunity to fall back on a degree that offered plenty of career opportunities should the “writing thing” not pan out.
I still wanted to focus my elective choices on my true passion. Creative fiction writing was no longer an option, but journalism seemed like a good idea. It was still telling stories, but now my subjects were real people.
Induction ceremony into Alpha Chi my junior year of college
I fell in love with journalism. I loved the opportunity to give someone the spotlight and make them feel special.
The thing about journalism, though, is it’s normally pretty cut and dry. The inverted pyramid style taught by my professors always felt so confining and suffocating. They wanted to know what happened, and when and how it occurred. I just wanted to describe my real living character and tell their story.
So, I took the skills I learned in my journalism classes, and I moved on to creative nonfiction. In these classes, with magazine writing style format, I was given the opportunity to expand my typical 400-word news stories to 2,000-word expositions. For the girl who once couldn’t keep her middle school assignments under 10 pages, this increased word count was surprisingly freeing. I had learned from journalism how to strip a story down to its bare bones; now I had the opportunity to expand on only the most important details (and the knowledge to know what those details were).
During all this time, however, I don’t think I ever truly found my voice. In all the stories I had ever told, I had neglected one very important one: my own.
When my professor said we had to write memoirs for our class, I was distraught. I didn’t believe that I had a story to tell. Which is funny because I had anything but the conventional childhood.
I have suffered from chronic illness since the age of 10, when I was diagnosed with Lyme disease. Twelve diagnoses and over a decade later, I am no stranger to pain, to overcoming challenges, to perseverance, three things that can make a great story.
Induction ceremony into Delta Alpha Pi (academic honor society for high-achieving students with disabilities) with my good friend Caitlin
The trouble is, what really makes a good story is being able to connect with the reader. While my story was one full of plot possibilities, I didn’t believe it was one anyone would want to read.
My professor told us to choose any topic, and that she would be the only one to read it. Even with that information, I did not want to tell any story that was painful to write. However, after weeks of brainstorming, I couldn’t get one particular story out of my mind. It wasn’t one I wanted to share, but after years of denying this particular moment, it was time to face it.
When I handed in the memoir about my hospitalization for anorexia to my professor, I was visibly shaking. I felt raw and exposed. I was convinced it wasn’t the story anyone wanted.
I had always gotten high marks on my papers. But when my professor handed my memoir back, it was the first time anyone had asked me for more. She asked me to let my peers read it. Nervously, I handed it to one of my classmates. Once again, I waited with bated breath, hating myself for sharing something so personal. But when she returned to me, tears brimming in her eyes, she thanked me for telling the story she had been too scared to share herself.
It was then that I learned that not only do I have a story to share, but it’s one that actually touches people. It’s one that can comfort and encourage, one that can facilitate connection and possibly inspire others’ creativity.
Since a young age, I have always wanted to help other people. But it took me nearly two decades to discover that my way of doing that was the thing I have always been most passionate about: writing.
So, this is my blog, and on it, I plan to share my story, and also some other things that I have grown passionate about over the years. I am going to talk about the travels I have taken, and the adventures I am still going on, because I have found that the best way to learn more is to go places you have never been. I am going to share about ways I have found to find balance in my life, mentally, physically and spiritually, because dealing with chronic health has taught me that self-care is one of the most important ways to care for yourself and others. And most importantly, I am going to talk about the people in my life: those who have inspired me, those who have made me who I am, and those who I am growing with.
I hope this is a place where you can find inspiration, illumination and comfort. I hope it’s a place where you can read something authentic, and then know that it’s okay for you to be yourself, too. And most importantly, I hope it inspires you to tell your story, in whatever way feels most natural to you. Create art, write poetry, talk to people, volunteer…whatever makes you feel most alive. And when you do, please leave a comment and tell me about it – I would love to hear your story, too.
