My father always used to repeat the Tony Robbins quote, “Repetition is the mother of skill.” Every time I did something wrong: “Repetition is the mother of skill.” Every time I started working on something new: “Repetition is the mother of skill.” Every time I did something successfully, my father told me why: “Repetition is the mother of skill.”
Needless to say, I found this to be the most annoying phrase of words ever strung together.
My father knew I hated this phrase. With a smile, he’d often start it and then wait patiently, refusing to let me leave the room until I grudgingly completed it for him.
The most annoying thing about this phrase is that it was true. The more I practiced and repeated something, the better I got at it. Repetition truly was the best way to refine my skills. I could never bring myself to admit this to my father, but today the phrase still repeats in my head whenever I am struggling with something.
During my senior year of college, I found myself remembering the phrase as I practiced a speech for a class. It was a rather comprehensive speech, stuffed full of information in a measly three minutes. Normally, I performed my speeches without practicing. I found I was more eloquent if I knew the basic outline of my speech instead of trying to remember the exact words I wanted to say. However, I knew I wouldn’t be able to fit in all the information I wanted to say in the allotted time without rehearsing it. What amazed me was that, because of the repeated practices, it was the most articulate and powerful speech I had ever given. I received tumultuous praise from my classmates and professor, and was rewarded with a perfect score.
Later that day, when relaying the experience to my father, I mentioned how surprised I was by how much the practices helped. I cringed immediately, hoping with bated breath that he would merely give a small assent of agreeance.
“Well, you know,” he began, and I could hear the smile through which he spoke. I groaned internally, knowing the words that were about to come. “Repetition is the mother of skill.”
Happy Father’s Day to the man who always inspires me to work hard & pursue my dreams. I would not be where I am today without your loving support & words of wisdom, even the ones I found irksome. 😉
It’s a tough pill to swallow. Disappointment is that empty feeling in the pit of your stomach that makes it difficult to focus on anything else. And it doesn’t just hurt when we personally experience disappointment. There’s no worse slap in the face than when someone tells you they are disappointed in you.
According to Psychology Today, disappointment is a type of sadness: “A feeling of loss, an uncomfortable space (or a painful gap) between our expectations & reality.” We can set ourselves up for disappointment when we have higher expectations for a situation or outcome than what is realistic.
According to Dr. Tara Well, an associate professor of psychology at Barnard College of Columbia University, one way to deal with disappointment before it happens is to manage these expectations. Be realistic when setting time limits to achieve your goals, & realize that, even if you achieve a desired outcome, it may not give you the happiness you desire. We are taught to associate happiness with certain things, like money or power, but often these things fail to give us the happiness we thought they would. Similarly, disappointment can come from placing too many expectations or too much responsibility for your happiness on a single person in your life. And we also face disappointment when things don’t go as planned; when things don’t fall into place the way we thought they would, especially when we worked hard to make it so, it can be disheartening.
One of the most important things you can do to avoid disappointment is to approach life in a more relaxed state. Being flexible allows you to deal with moments with acceptance & perseverance, rather than disappointment. But, that’s a rather hard thing to do. If you are naturally more anxious or perfectionistic, changing your personality is not an easy task.
So, what do you do if you’re already feeling disappointed?
If you’re feeling disappointed in yourself, speak to yourself with kindness. Talk to yourself as you would a friend. Look for the lesson in what you learned to move forward with knowledge & insight from this moment. And most importantly, have grace & forgiveness for yourself.
If you are disappointed in a person, remember to approach others with kindness as well. Think about whether the expectations you are placing on others are things you should be fulfilling for yourself. Sometimes, it is necessary to reevaluate a relationship to make sure it is beneficial for both parties – that there is an even give & take. But other times, we have to recognize our own needs, & realize that the other person is either not capable of fulfilling them, or that we did not even communicate them properly. In both of these situations, communicating with the other person & working together to define what your relationship will look like is a good next step.
And last but not least, what do you do when you encounter a disappointing situation?
I think the first instinct for a lot of us is to put our heads down & move on. I mean, there’s no point crying over spilled milk right? And in situations that cannot be changed, this may be the best route of action. Take whatever lesson you can from the situation & move on. But what about for situations where you may be able to change something? Or, perhaps, there is a better alternative that you didn’t even think of before.
Every time I’ve just “moved on” in my life after a disappointment, instead of thinking about what I could do instead, it tends to become one of those memories from years ago that pops into my head when I lie in bed & keeps me up all night.
When I face a disappointing situation, the first thing I honestly do is cry & have a little pity party for myself. Then I brush myself off & fight it.
Is it futile? Sometimes, yes. I mean, if we’re using the spilled milk analogy, have you ever tried gather up spilled liquid off the ground? There’s absolutely no point. Clean it up, throw it out, & move on.
But, maybe it isn’t spilled milk. Maybe it’s just a dropped piece of chocolate, & I think the five-second-rule applies. I want to know, when I lay down & get to thinking late at night that I did everything I could to get the outcome I desired. Because it’s one thing to be disappointed in a situation, but it’s an entirely different thing to be disappointed in myself. It doesn’t always work out, but it can save me from thinking back & regretting the choices that I’ve made in my life, & that’s worth the fight.
“Joseph, we can’t plan our first dance. One of us has to surprise the other.”
The night sky was clear, stars littering the air all above us. The hood of my car kept bending under the weight of our bodies. Maybe laying on the hood of my car would damage it, but I’ve waited for a moment like this for too long. I didn’t give it a second thought.
I don’t know how many nights I laid on the ground, looking into this sprinkled sky. Even though the view was always breathtaking, I couldn’t escape the gaping hole of loneliness I felt every night prior to this one.
I turned away from the beautiful stars to something way more beautiful.
“I guess you’re right,” I laughed. “I always try to plan everything in my life. Even the special things.”
“Well, Joseph…” She was able to look into my eyes because the stars lit up our faces. “Thank you for this tonight. This is special and you surprised me.”
“Would you like to go for a hike today? I know this one trail that leads to a pavilion and it is really pretty.” She nodded her head, fresh in love after just two months of dating me.
Getting out of my car, I slipped my small Bose MicroLink speaker into my pocket without her seeing.
The hike was a quarter-mile up a steep hill to a pavilion surrounded by a field of tall grass in the middle of the woods. The pavilion was called “High Meadow.”
“This is so pretty!” She looked into my eyes again with that look.
I slipped out my speaker and said, “Well, you said we had to surprise each other for that first dance.” Her face brightened even more.
I put on “Could I Love You Any More?” by Reneé Dominique and Jason Mraz, which had just recently released three days prior. We had listened to it way more than three times already. I think it was a pretty good song pick for our first dance.
She took hold of me and we had our first dance, underneath that pavilion on that June day, with the smell of summer fresh in our noses. I don’t remember the last time I was happy like this before I started dating her, but I’ll never forget how she took hold of my heart forever.
I already knew from the moment I fell in love with her that I was going to marry her, but now I also already knew how I was going to propose.
After the novel coronavirus in 2020, I don’t think anybody had a normal vacation. After not seeing each other for most of March and April, Tyler and I had not had a lot of time to enjoy our relationship. Finally, in June, Tyler had a great idea.
“What if I take off work next week and we have a ‘staycation?’” Tyler asked.
“What is a ‘staycation?’” I laughed.
“You act as if you are on vacation at your house. You do things you don’t ordinarily do during your normal week around your state. I don’t have to work on my business this week and it would be fun,” she explained.
“Well, you taking off work sounds fantastic,” I said through a smile because Tyler is most certainly a workaholic. “Let’s do it.”
I planned on asking her to marry me later in the summer, but the timing felt too right. I had already bought the ring three weeks ago and asked her father for permission to marry her. I decided I was going to ask her the big question by the end of the week. It was going to be in that pavilion we had our first dance like I had planned all along.
We started off our week to a rainy and lazy Tuesday, watching our favorite TV shows and cooking. But to make this proposal one that would surprise her, I had to throw her off the scent.
“Hey Ty, we should browse more for rings. Want to go to that ring shop near my house this week?” I mean, what better way to throw her off the scent?
“Sure, we can go tomorrow,” she said.
When we were at the ring shop on Wednesday, my stomach dropped because I didn’t consider the fact she could change her mind on the ring she wanted. As we entered the store, I tried to play it cool.
After browsing some rings, Tyler asked the clerk, “Can you size me? I haven’t gotten officially sized.” The man nodded and quickly grabbed the box full of every size ring.
Pick size six. Pick size six. Pick size six.
“Well, size six is way too big for you,” the clerk said, taking off the size 6 ring and reaching back into his box. “Let’s try something smaller.”
As we jumped backed into my Mazda 30 minutes later, Tyler turned from the passenger seat.
“I want the ring we picked out a couple months ago. It’s the ring. But now we know I’m a size five.” A wave of relief washed over me knowing I did purchase the ring she wanted, as well as another wave of anxiety over the fact I bought the wrong size. I figured it was good I was asking this week because I had only bought the ring three weeks ago, so I was still eligible to return it if needed.
With full confidence that I was going to ask her in a couple of days, I texted my brother Jon, who is a professional photographer. “You free this weekend?I may want you for pictures if you know what I mean.” Because I had told him only two weeks ago I had Tyler’s ring, he responded with several exclamation marks.
Now that Jon was in to take our pictures as well as decorate the pavilion, I needed to find a way to get Tyler there without her suspecting a proposal.
On Friday, Tyler and I went to Western Maryland for our first of many road trips. Once we were comfortable in our seats for our three hour drive, I turned down the music.
“What if we had a fancy picnic this week?” I asked.
“Well, sure. I mean, where would you want to have a picnic?” she responded. “I don’t really have any dresses with me either.” She did not seem to be very enthusiastic about the idea.
“Well, I was thinking we could hike to that pavilion where we had our first dance. Actually, I looked at the calendar this morning and it has been one year since our first dance. It’s almost poetic, you know?”
“Oh! And then we can go to the farmers market and buy fresh ingredients! We should buy wine, too!” Tyler changed from indifference to eagerness. This was too perfect.
“We are about to pass the exit for your apartment, should we stop by there to pick up some dresses for you?” I asked quickly, as I saw her exit approaching on Route 695.
“Yes, it’s right here, get off!” she shouted.
With a quick check to my right, I crossed over five lanes of traffic and barely made it.
When we were browsing her closet for dresses, she pulled out an orange sundress. When I saw it, I knew that was the dress.
“I bought this just for you,” Tyler said. “I actually haven’t worn it yet.” She showed me the price tag still attached.
Everything was falling into place. The plan was that Jon and his wife, Becca, would go to High Meadow on Saturday, which was the day before I planned to propose, to set up the pavilion with sunflowers (her favorite flower). They surprised me by decorating the whole pavilion with more than I expected, including a blanket they bought that said, “Of all the walks we have taken, this one is my favorite.” That was perfect for avid hikers like Tyler and me.
On Sunday, all that was left was getting there without her suspecting anything. After we had picked up our ingredients from a local farmer’s market along with some wine, we got ready. When I walked into the bathroom, Tyler turned and looked at me.
“Wow! You are really dressed up!” she said.
“Yup,” I responded with pride.
“Do you like what I am wearing?” She looked at me expectantly wearing a casual blue dress, not the orange sundress she told me she was going to wear.
Even though Tyler looks amazing in sweatpants, I knew it was not the dress she would want to wear for her engagement photos. So, with a gulp, I said, “Well…it’s okay…”
“Do you want me to change?” Tyler asked with a surprised tone, since this was the first time I had ever said anything like this.
“Yes.” I said. “Actually yes, I do.” I had to get her into that orange sundress.
When we pulled the dress out of her bag, she exclaimed, “Joseph, it’s all wrinkly!”
“I will iron it!” I announced as I pulled out my iron in the closet and began to straighten it.
As she was getting dressed, I slid silently into the other room to grab the ring. I hid it in a drawer right beside the bed she had been sleeping in for the last couple weeks. Along with most things with this proposal, I had taken a risk.
I ran downstairs and shoved the box into the pile of blankets we were going to take.
When we hopped in the car, I noticed she was wearing her normal, sporty flip flops.
“Hey, where are your nice flip flops?” I asked.
“They are in the house,” she explained with annoyance.
“I will go get them!” I shouted as I ran inside.
Because I had been acting so strange about the clothes Tyler was supposed to wear, the 30-minute drive to the trailhead was silent and extremely awkward. I kept trying to make small talk, but I knew Tyler was analyzing why I was acting so weird.
When we were exiting the car, I realized I had made a humongous mistake. I forgot I hid the ring box in the blankets, not the picnic basket. I couldn’t carry both the blankets and the picnic basket, but I couldn’t ask her to carry the heavy picnic basket while I carried the light blankets.
I turned to Tyler with the pile of blankets, her engagement ring stuffed inside. “Here, you can carry this.”
As the realization hit me that the ring box could fall out at any moment, my heart beat faster than ever before in my life.
“You can walk ahead of me.” I said, knowing that if it did fall out, I had to be ready. I thought my heart was going to jump out of my chest. Just get there. Don’t fall out. Just get there. Don’t fall out.
After seemingly four years of walking up the steep trail we hiked up one year ago, we finally reached the pavilion a quarter-mile from the trailhead. As we approached the pavilion, Tyler looked confused.
“It looks like someone is having an event here. Do you know what’s going on?”
“No,” I responded. “Maybe someone is having a wedding here or something. It doesn’t look like anyone is here.”
“Look, there’s sunflowers!” Tyler exclaimed with a smile as we walked into the pavilion.
“Yeah, someone really set this up,” I responded, trying to hide any sign I was behind all of this. “Look, Tyler, I know someone else is using this pavilion. But it’s too perfect. We have to dance to our song. Then, we can leave and picnic somewhere else.”
I quickly turned on “Could I Love You Any More?” on the same speaker I surprised her with last year. With my adrenaline pumping, I grabbed her hand and danced with her to a song we have listened to so many times together.
“Oh, Tyler, there’s people coming, let’s go!” I said in the middle of the song to confuse her even more. Then, I quickly said, “Oh, never mind, there’s no one there.” Even until the last minute, I was acting to make this one hell of a surprise.
As the song came to a close, I gave a very deep sigh and turned off the speaker.
“Tyler I have a demand, a confession, and a question,” I said looking into her now very confused face. “The demand is that you stand right here.” I positioned her in the middle of the pavilion. “My confession is that I did this,” I said with a smirk.
“When did you do this?!” Tyler blurted out.
“And my question is…” I grabbed the ring from the blankets and knelt in front of her, “Will you marry me?”
I always try to plan everything in my life. Even the special things.
It’s not that I don’t like these songs or artists – a few of them did pop up on this season’s playlist – but my absolute favorites tend to have lyrics that touch my heart & instrumentation that embraces my soul. And this past spring, I found songs from all different genres that did just that.
If you’re ready for an eclectic music experience, read on for my top picks this past spring from all different genres. And if you’re more of a listening than a reading type, skip to the bottom for my full spring playlist – a 3 hour 34 minute playlist that includes all these songs, some top hits I couldn’t help myself from jamming to, & a few more finds from my Spotify Discover Weekly.
1. A cinematic choice: Flying by Cody Fry
This was the first song on my spring playlist this past season. Flying by Cody Fry takes you on a cinematic experience, with large instrumental swells & beautiful lyrics that describe a soul that has lost hope in a savior. It’s one I can’t help turning the volume up on my headphones for every time.
2. A romantic tune: 1953 by The National Parks
You can’t have a proper playlist without a love song. This past spring, I fell in love with the song 1953 by The National Parks. The song was written by lead singer Brady Parks about his grandparents. Their true love story brought me to tears with its beauty, especially at the bridge that features spoken interviews from the two lovebirds themselves. It is heartwarming & will renew your faith in true love.
3. The fun alt rock one: Follow You by Imagine Dragons
My high school favorite still holds strong. Imagine Dragons always has a feature on my playlists. Many of their tunes are rather dark, often inspired by lead singer Dan Reynold’s personal life struggles with depression, but this rare love song is a fun tune to dance & lightly head-bang to.
4. My worship highlight: Strong in You by Allison Clarke
Allison Clarke, an artist based out of Nashville, released Strong in You in 2017, but somehow I am just now hearing it. It’s jazzy, acoustic feel is one you can move to, while the lyrics help me to remember where to center myself when things in life get tough.
5. Back-road driving hit: Feels Like Home by Drew Holcomb & The Neighbors & Ellie Holcomb
This song took me back to my childhood, summer nights spent in my grandmother’s campground after a long day on the boat fishing, singing songs in harmony with my family. It’s lyrical imagery took me down country roads & back to my roots, while the sweet, soft acoustic sound brought tears to my eyes. It’s an easy listening song perfect for a long drive down a back road with the windows down.
6. The angsty rap song: TRUST by NF ft. Tech N9ne
The talent of these two rap artists is incredibly impressive as they spit bars faster than I can comprehend the words they are saying. Despite the title, this song talks more about a lack of trust in these artists’ lives, while the music, instead of being a repetitive beat in the background, moves with lyrics, placing emphasis where needed & pulling you in deeper.
7. A relaxed indie choice: The Future (Tell Me Love Remains) by Brooke Fraser ft. The Real Efforts of Real People
What does the future hold? Nothing good, if we don’t fill it with love ourselves. The Future (Tell Me Love Remains) talks about what the future may hold with a hopeful but concerned outlook. It’s slow instrumental build grows as the artists’ hope grows, taking you on a small, musical journey that helps you feel a little more optimistic by the end, too.
8. A thoughtful piece: Until It Happens to You by Sasha Sloan
A small warning: This song depresses me every single time I listen to it. It’s the hard truth of life – we don’t know how hard it is to lose someone until we lose someone close to us. This song tackles grief in its raw, pure form, & despite the gentle instrumentation, it’s gut-wrenching. It is truly a lyrical masterpiece.
9. A beautiful instrumental: Overture II by Sleeping At Last
The concert pianist version of me from another life just can’t help adding instrumental beauties like this to my playlist. Sleeping At Last composes songs based around a different theme for each album, & they are always incredibly creative & soulful. I first discovered this artist when listening to their album Atlas: Enneagram – each of the nine songs described the human experience of different enneagram number personalities, & every song featured musical artists who identify as that number. It is a musical masterpiece that I highly recommend to anyone. Overture II is a short piece that opens the album Atlas: Year Two. It is meant to represent the forming of life, which is captured perfectly by the musical swells of the violins & the rich sound of the cello. If you don’t normally listen to instrumental music, this short & sweet 1 1/2-minute piece is worth a listen.
10. And, last but not least, a jazzy throwback: Many Ways to Say I Love You performed by Holly Yarbrough
Holly Yarbrough’s album Mister Rogers Swings! features multiple songs from Mr. Rogers’ show, reinterpreted in a new, jazzy style. They are fun to listen to, & they fill your heart with positivity as you walk out the door in the morning or get home from a long day at night.
Read to the bottom of this article to learn about a special FREE gift just for you!
Happy Earth Day!
For some time, I have wanted to switch to more natural products & sustainable living practices. I made a few changes here & there, but I struggled with finding ways to reduce my waste or carbon footprint that weren’t unbelievably inconvenient. And many of the natural products that I encountered were far too pricey for my young adult budget. I knew switching to natural products was good for the environment & myself, but I thought it would have to be something that I did when I was more established with a full-time job & benefits.
Grove Collaborative changed everything. Grove is a natural home & personal care brand that delivers everything you need for a sustainable, healthy home right to your door. All of the products are made with natural ingredients that are healthy for you & the environment, & they all help reduce household waste. Additionally, Grove carbon offsets every delivery, & every purchase benefits the Arbor Day Foundation, which plants trees to help solve a number of the world’s problems today, including air & water quality, climate change, deforestation, & hunger.
Grove is a monthly subscription, but you can skip months & edit your cart to include the products you want, so it’s honestly a great way to get the products you want, when you want or need them. You can customize the process every step of the way.
My future sister-in-law (but already sister-at-heart) Joanna introduced me to Grove just after I moved into my new house. She was already a subscriber, & she recommended it to me when I mentioned that I wanted to switch to more sustainable products. After checking out the app, I knew immediately that it was something I was interested in, & I purchased my first box the same day.
I could not be more pleased with my first Grove delivery. My box contained silicone straws, reusable bags, walnut & cellulose sponges, bamboo tissues, a glass spray bottle, a glass soap dispenser, toilet bowl cleaner, moisturizing hand sanitizer, dishwasher detergent packs, gel hand soap, glass cleaner concentrate, toilet spray, three reusable cotton face masks, compostable cleaning wipes, & bamboo toilet paper. Now that I have had the chance to try out all of these products, I am happy to report they are all up to my cleanliness standards, & I am quite sure I am going to be a Grove subscriber for life.
The silicone straws are a cute, turquoise blue color, so now I can sip my summer drinks in style. They are durable, & the pack of four straws comes with a bottle brush to help keep them clean.
The reusable bags are adorable. I purchased a set of two, one large & one small, that had a lemon design to match my kitchen (which is tones of blue & green with lemon yellow accents). The bags are air-tight & keep my snacks fresh, & they are easy to clean as well. All you have to do is rinse them out with soap & water & let them dry.
Seedling Tissues by Grove on my coffee table
The walnut & cellulose sponge is another great product. The sponge scrubs as hard as I want it to, but it’s still gentle on my pots & pans & it’s durable, too. It’s made from plant cellulose & walnuts, so when the time does come to throw it away, it will naturally break down (no more plastic sponges sitting in landfills).
The bamboo tissues are one of my favorite products in this box. The tissues are thick & soft, which feels great on my irritated nose during allergy season. They are made from sustainable bamboo instead of trees, so there’s less deforestation. The bamboo toilet paper is made the same way, and, this may be too much information but to be perfectly honest, my butt has never felt more pampered. The toilet paper is three-ply, which I wasn’t aware that I needed but now that I’ve had it, I don’t think I can ever go back. It’s soft & thick, which means it feels good & I need less toilet paper per toilet visit. This means that, despite it maybe being a little more expensive than your average roll, it lasts longer, which I think makes up for the price.
I wish I had been using the moisturizing hand sanitizer all winter. It has a lovely scent, & it feels so good on my dry hands. After lathering up with hand sanitizer regularly for over a year now, I needed this product. It is my new best friend whenever I leave the house.
And speaking of COVID-19, the three reusable, cotton face masks I received are some of the most comfortable face masks I have ever had! They fit perfectly, which is something no face mask has done yet, & they are super cute. I love the striped yellow & white one – it perfectly fits my vibe. And the two green & blue toned masks match so many outfits. And they aren’t just fashionable! The masks have three layers, and the inner layer is anti-microbial, making it a great choice to stay safe during this pandemic.
Me & my new reusable face masks from Grove
One thing I often hear about natural cleaning products is that they aren’t as effective as the ones made with harsh chemicals. Until trying Grove, I actually believed this, but I am happy to report that this is a myth. The dishwasher detergent packs gave me sparkling clean dishes – I honestly think they look better than when I use my normal dish detergent. The glass cleaner concentrate worked wonders on my smudgy windows, & the toilet bowl cleaner got everything clean with minimal effort. And the compostable cleaning wipes are the first product yet that has gotten my counters as clean as I want them. I cannot wait to try more cleaning products from Grove.
Speaking of toilets, the toilet spray was also quite pleasant. I have used Poo-Pourri before, & I thought this had just as nice of a scent, albeit not as strong. So, if you’re looking for a more mild scent (Poo-Pourri has a very strong scent – it’s for the bigger poos), this toilet spray is a great choice.
The lavender & thyme hand soap smells so lovely, but it’s not over-powering or super feminine like a lot of nice smelling soaps are. Even Joseph liked it, & we almost never agree on a soap scent (he even put up his own soap dispenser in the bathroom because he can’t stand the lemon soap I have in there). My hands also feel squeaky clean after using this soap, which means it gets an A+ grade from me. The glass soap dispenser & spray bottle are both a simple but fashionable design that will match any decor, & they both have a durability to them that makes me believe they are going to last for a while.
Me & my new lavender & thyme hand soap from Grove
If you’ve been looking for a way to switch to natural cleaning products, reduce waste, live in a healthier environment, or just to live a little more sustainably, Grove is a great choice. The chemicals that are harsh for the environment are bad for our bodies as well. Grove makes it easy to make your home a healthy environment, for you & the earth.
Do you want to try Grove without the commitment? I have a great surprise for you. Use this link to try your first Grove box for FREE! If you don’t like it, you can cancel your subscription at any time (but if you enjoy lovely smelling cleaning & beauty products that are good for you & the environment, you’re going to love it).
Switching to sustainable living can seem overwhelming, but small changes, like using natural cleaning products or drinking from reusable water bottles, make an impact. It might not seem like much, but if we all do it, those small changes add up to having a big impact on our earth’s health.
We only have two places to live: Our bodies & our world. Appreciate them, love them, & take care of them.
Can I be real with you all for a minute? It’s been a tough week.
I recently started listening to a podcast called Deeply Human that I highly recommend. It’s about why we do the things that we do, like get angry when we stand in lines or why it seems to get harder to find the perfect match the more we date, even though it seems like it should be the other way around. This past week, I listened to an episode on pain that hit deep. Pain is something I am no stranger to. I have dealt with chronic illness since I was 10 years old – there has not been a day in the last decade of my life that I have not experienced pain.
This may come as a surprise to some people. I am very active, & I normally consider myself to be a rather optimistic person as well. And, just to be clear, this illness has not made me feel any less grateful in my life. In fact, I think it’s helped me to realize just how blessed I am. I love my life. But, as much as I don’t want my illness to define my life, it is a part of it, just as much as my job, my relationship, or my cultural background. So, why am I comfortable talking about those things, but not about the pain I experience?
This podcast had a really good answer. Pain is something we all struggle to talk about first & foremost because it’s a private feeling. I can’t explain in words what it feels like to experience chronic pain. You can only kind of understand if you have chronic pain as well, but then, we still don’t quite have an understanding because everyone’s experience of pain is different. We all have different levels of tolerance. For example, if I burn my hand on a stove, & you burn your hand on the same stove, we could feel completely different levels of pain. So, even though we both are experiencing the same burn, we don’t truly have an understanding of what the other person is experiencing.
Secondly, there is a bit of a taboo associated with pain. When we express the pain we are going through, we try to make light of it – we diminish our experience because we don’t want people to feel sorry for us or make things awkward. To the same respect, the people we are telling about our pain feel pressured to keep things light as well. The topic moves on quickly. The trouble with this is that pain, whatever type it may be (mental, physical, acute, chronic) can seem very isolating.
Pain is interesting because it is simultaneously a universal & very personal experience. We all experience pain, yet we can’t ever truly understand anyone’s pain but our own.
So, let me tell you about my week. It was an awesome week. I spent time with family & friends; I finished all of my work during the week (something that rarely happens), so I had the opportunity to have a lovely, relaxing weekend; I received my second vaccine shot; and my dad, brother & future sister-in-law came to visit me at my new house with a surprise gift: a new grill! It was a fun & exciting week, & yet, I spent quite a few days of it breaking down in tears because I received a disappointing letter. After years of fighting chronic illness, a trial program at Johns Hopkins was finally created to help bring relief to patients like me, but I didn’t get in.
You know what’s interesting though? My pain level hasn’t changed in the last week. I feel the same as I always do. Despite the disappointment, the most painful thing about receiving this letter is that I felt like I couldn’t talk about it. I succumbed to the social pressures that said talking about pain was taboo & thought that expressing my feelings about this experience would bring other people down, so I tried not to talk about it at all. I shared about my job, had a date night with my fiancé, & posted pictures on Instagram about what was happening during my day, never even mentioning the biggest thing that had happened in my life because it would make things “awkward.”
The most painful thing about this past week is that I felt alone. While gathering documents to re-apply to the program & shuffling through lab report after lab report, I felt like I was the only one who could possibly understand what I was going through. It made my pain feel isolating.
But, I’m not alone. Whether you have experienced something like this or not, you have experienced pain. We all have. And, I think it might be time to start talking about it.
When I finally broke down this past week & shared my feelings, I felt a weight lift off of my shoulders. For days, despite all of the good happening around me, it felt like this was all I could think about. That letter had me shackled in silent suffering. Now, despite the fact that I am still experiencing pain & I still haven’t been accepted into the program, I feel free.
No matter what pain you are experiencing in your life, I want you to know that you’re not alone, & I encourage you, as awkward as it may be, to talk to someone about it. And if someone comes to you expressing a pain they have been experiencing, I encourage you not to change the topic because it’s “uncomfortable.” Lean into the discomfort. Get to know someone at that deep & personal level. And if you can, try practicing vulnerability & sharing some of your pain as well. I truly believe that if we start doing this, despite the different experiences of pain that we have, we will all realize once again the universal aspect of pain, & therefore, we will feel less alone & more connected than ever before. And that’s important, because connection – true human love & empathy – can be healing. Human connection has been proven to strengthen our immune systems, reduce stress, & help patients heal from trauma. Pain, in & of itself, can be traumatic. It wreaks havoc on our immune systems, & it can be the source of or a symptom of stress.
I know it’s not a magic pill. It won’t heal any pain you are experiencing, whether it be mental or physical. But speaking up & connecting with others will bring you comfort & support during your journey, & for a lot of us, I think that’s all we really want from our community.
Speaking up isn’t easy. This blog post is a start. If you need someone to talk to, please reach out to me. I would love to listen to your story.
If you’re feeling a little unlucky today, I invite you to read on & ponder the little blessings in your life that may have gone overlooked. There is plenty of negativity in life to dwell on, but I find that when I focus on the positive & practice gratitude, my life only continues to brighten.
I just had to start with this blessing. I could not be more grateful for the man that swept me off my feet nearly two years ago & has not put me down since. I feel so fortunate to have found someone who makes me feel so loved & that I find pure joy in loving. I cannot wait to marry him this August.
2. My supportive family & friends
Me & my family on Christmas Eve 2020
This blessing goes without saying as well. I am very fortunate to have a loving & giving support system. I truly enjoy spending time with my family & friends, & I cannot wait to see more of these amazing people once I am fully vaccinated.
At the beginning of the pandemic, my small business, like many others, struggled. I went months without making much of an income. I am so grateful to have found work, & even more thankful that I have been able to keep my business, which is my true passion, alive. I know I am very fortunate to have found employment when so many are still struggling, so this is a blessing that I never take for granted.
4. My health
Me at the doctor’s office
This is a big one for me. During the COVID-19 pandemic, my own health struggled for different reasons. I have struggled with chronic illness since the age of 10, & it seemed to get worse just as the pandemic was taking hold. I am so grateful for the support of my loved ones who helped me get through it, & I am grateful for my strong body that fought to get me to where I am now. I feel truly blessed to be where I am now, & that neither my loved ones nor I have been sick with COVID-19. I know we are some of the lucky ones.
5. My faith & church community
My baptism at United Church – this happened just weeks before the stay-at-home order began
When times get hard, I feel like people often turn from or turn to God. I am so very grateful that my faith has carried me through the last year, & despite the pandemic making it difficult to meet in-person, my church family has continued to grow stronger. At United, we have begun to hold services in person, but online, streamed versions are still available, & I meet weekly with my Bible study group on Zoom. It has been a way to stay connected to a supportive & loving community of people, to delve deeper into my relationship with God, & to stay strong in my faith during a very difficult year.
6. Technology
My desk at home
Never have I been more grateful for technology than during the past year. Working from home, online classes, & endless Zoom meetings can get old, but they are truly such a blessing. I cannot imagine what we would have done without these socially distanced options. Thanks to the technology we have today, I have been able to have a job, Joseph has been able to pursue his Master’s degree in clinical mental health counseling, & I have been able to stay connected with friends & family that I otherwise would not have been able to see. It is nowhere near the same as being able to meet in-person, but I am truly grateful for the opportunities technology has given us to stay connected during this lonely time.
7. Healthcare workers
Me & Joseph with his sister-in-law, Becca, & brother, Jon – Becca is a nurse at [hospital], & I am so grateful for what she does
I cannot even begin to thank healthcare workers enough. I cannot imagine the stress, the exhaustion, & the devastation these dedicated & hard-working people must have seen & experienced. To this day, these men & women are still on the front lines, fighting this invisible enemy. I am truly humbled by their selfless care.
8. The Simple Joys
For Valentine’s Day, I made Red Velvet Mochas – you can find the recipe here
I was blessed with a few amazing trips this past year, & a joyous wedding occasion to look forward to this year, but for the most part, 2020 was a year without much to look forward to. However, I began to find such joy in the little things. Instead of rushing out the door with a coffee in hand, I have learned to slow down & enjoy my first few sips, to savor the flavor & the feeling of the warm mug in my hands. I am learning to take notice to the warmth of the sun on my skin, to listen to the birds chirping in the trees, & to stop & take notice to the changing seasons. I am enjoying the simple joys in my life that I normally would have overlooked in the busyness of life, & they have made the last year of my life truly beautiful
There wasn’t a lot of doing in the last year, but there was a whole lot of talking, & I really enjoyed it. A lot of deep & meaningful conversations came out of the last year, & I felt like I had the chance to get to know people in a new way. Topics we never would have talked about & questions we probably never would have asked were finally ventured because there was nothing else to do. I enjoyed getting to know the people in my life better, & I feel like, despite the distance, many of my relationships actually grew stronger.
10. The vaccine
There is always a light at the end of the tunnel, & I feel like we can finally see it. The vaccine is here. I received my first dose this past week! There still may be months ahead of us, but I feel like I can finally see an end in sight, & I cannot wait to step outside, mask-free, into the new world that will come out of it. Until then, however, I will patiently wait, enjoying all of the many blessings I have, even in this moment, to be grateful for.
Note: This article does contain affiliate links. If you buy a product after clicking a link, I may earn a commission off of that purchase.
Sustainable living is simple, fun, & fashionable thanks to the Be Kind by Ellen subscription box.
Ellen DeGeneres was my childhood hero. I loved her mission of sharing kindness with the world through our gifts. Her way of sharing that kindness was through comedy & her philanthropy. She inspired me to always think about ways that I could use my own passions, such as writing & running, to help the world around me.
Ellen’s Be Kind box is a fantastic way to take care of yourself & the world around you. When I saw the advertisement online, I could not resist purchasing my own subscription that night. Every season, a new box filled with socially-conscious products are released. Every item in the box makes a positive impact in the world, whether it be for the environment or for another important cause, such as women’s health. And all of the items will help you feel better about yourself, too. It’s an opportunity to treat yourself with something special, & to feel good about it because you’re helping the world around you as well.
A different box is delivered each season of the year, & each box costs $54.99, but the items inside add up to over a $200 value! When you sign up for an annual subscription, you save 10% off of all four boxes. I personally signed up for the annual subscription, & now that I have received my first box, I could not be happier that I did.
I received my first box last week (watch the unboxing video here!), & after a week of using these products, I can confidently say that I adore each & every one of them. They each fit seamlessly into my lifestyle but help me to take better care of myself, & I feel good about using each of them because I know they are helping the world in some way.
The Spring Box was themed around the idea of setting new intentions for the year. Now is the time to think about the causes that mean the most to us, & setting positive intentions of how we can contribute meaningfully to them. It is the time to think about what things most touch our hearts & convict us to act, & then set up for our life the tenets, & the actions behind them, that will aid us in helping those movements grow & make a meaningful difference in our world.
The Be Kind by Ellen Spring Box was dedicated to giving back to brands that are doing their part to help our planet, & the creatures that call it home, to thrive. Keep reading to learn more about these amazing brands & the products they have created that have now become a part of my regular routine.
SAMARA Shoulder Bag
SAMARA is committed to making luxury fashion items that are both simple & elegant from vegan sources. All of SAMARA’s products are eco-friendly & affordable, so everyone can enjoy being fashionable while helping the planet. And SAMARA’s products are as eye-appealing as they are innovative – this brand is leading the way in the use of apple-based leather & recycled ocean plastics to create their products. My favorite part of this brand is that they are committed to giving back to the community as well. The Soular Backpack is an initiative founded by SAMARA CEO Salima Visram. This initiative provides solar light to students in East Africa, which eliminates the need for kerosene lamps that emit harmful & dangerous fumes, as well as helps students to study safely at home.
Personally, I love this bag. I don’t normally use a purse; I have always been more of a backpack lover. But sometimes I need something a little more fashionable & small for an afternoon or evening out, & this bag is perfect for that. It’s simple but elegant, a fashionable choice that carries everything I need without being overly bulky or attract too much attention. And, of course, I can feel good about using it, because I know it is made from sustainable materials & is helping the world in more ways than one.
The SAMARA shoulder bag in the Be Kind by Ellen box was designed exclusively for this subscription. However, you can find a similar bag in a range of available in four different colors here.
Alt Linen Kitchen Towel Set
I have always wanted to switch to reusable, cotton towels. They are better for the environment, & they have to be more cost-effective. The initial investment is more expensive, but after years of buying endless rolls of paper towels, I know I would have spent less if I had just bought a set of reusable linens. The problem is, they get dirty, & as terrible as it sounds, I didn’t feel like dealing with that. I felt like they would get stained to the point that I would not be able to get them clean in the wash (I have seen my paper towels after I use them, & I am often grateful I am just going to throw them away rather than try to wash them). No one wants to use a stained towel – as privileged as it may sound, it just feels dirty, even after it’s been in the wash. I like the feeling of a clean towel to dry my hands.
Alt Linen is the solution to all of my problems. They have created beautiful, white, reusable cotton towels & napkins to replace paper products. The best part is that you only pay for them once, & then you can replace them for free when they are worn! That’s right: You can send your used linens back to Alt Linen, & they will send you new ones for free. All you have to do is pay for shipping. There is now no reason not to use reusable kitchen towels. It’s more cost-effective, beneficial for the environment, &, thanks to Alt Linen, it’s actually more convenient, too.
You can purchase your own set of Alt Linen towels here.
Fill it Forward Water Bottle & Refill Tracking Stickers
Fill it Forward has created an entire community committed to making the world a better place just by drinking their water! With the Fill it Forward app, you can contribute to meaningful causes with every bottle of water you drink. Here’s how it works: You put a refill tracker sticker on your reusable water bottle. Then, every time you refill your water bottle, you scan the sticker with the app. According to the Fill it Forward website, with each scan, funding is donated to charitable partners that “specialize in creating sustainable solutions that help bring clean water & nutritious food to people in need.”
And the sticker does good for you, too! By scanning the sticker every time you refill your water bottle, you can keep track of how much water you are drinking, which can help you to stay hydrated.
The Be Kind by Ellen box came with the sticker & a lightweight, leak-proof reusable water bottle. Eliminating plastic water bottles also helps the environment, so this product is good for the world in so many ways. The Be Kind by Ellen Fill it Forward water bottle has positive affirmations written on it, so it’s good for your mental as well as your physical health. I love drinking my water while I repeat the mantras to myself. It helps my body to feel better, & it rejuvenates my mind as well so I’m ready to take on the rest of my day.
Aceology Ice Globe Facial Massagers
I am not good at giving myself self-care, & I don’t think I am alone in this. That’s why I created the Sunshine Box – to give people more self-care & joy. And that’s why I am loving these Aceology ice globe facial massagers. They are an easy way to give myself a little more self-care in my life.
Aceology creates vegan & cruelty-free products that help you take care of your skin. They make a variety of masks for all different benefits, including detoxification & skin illumination. And I can tell you first-hand, their facial massagers are so soothing & relaxing. They help to reduce face redness & puffiness, & they shrink your pores, which means less acne. They can also help with sinus, headaches, & muscle tension. Using these facial massagers literally brings a spa-like experience at home to you.
Starfish Project 14K Gold-Plated Bracelet
The last item in my box was a beautiful, gold-plated bracelet from the Starfish Project. The Starfish Project helps women who have been exploited and/or trafficked find freedom. Through vocational training, holistic care programs, & skill training, the Starfish Project gives these women the tools, skills & confidence they need to secure their independence. Additionally, all of the jewelry they make is quality-controlled, plated sustainably, & made by hand.
I love my new bracelet. It’s simple but elegant, a perfect piece to wear every day or for a fancy occasion. And every time I look at it, I think about the women this bracelet is helping, & it helps me to feel more empowered to take on my day as well.
A Final Note
Last but not least, I would like to touch briefly on the design of the box. Ashely Price, a Black female artist based in Houston, designed the beautiful art on the front of the box. Ashley left her corporate job seven years ago to create PinkLoMein. According to her website, Ashely says she is committed to reflecting “everyday people with a focus on women empowerment & positive affirmations” in her artwork. For the Be Kind box, Ashely said she wanted to represent “empowerment & simply feeling good about yourself.” The quotes in the women’s hair were meant to encourage recipients to be bold, brave, grateful, & most importantly, kind.
I absolutely loved my Be Kind box. It brightened my day when I received it in the mail, & the products I received have brightened every day since. If you are passionate about helping our planet & bettering the world around us, I strongly suggest subscribing to your own box. It’s good for you, & for the environment.
As I said in my unboxing video, take care of your body & take care of the earth: They are the only places you have to live.
Yoga, for me, has always been a place of learning. On the mat, I learn more about myself than I discover in most other places in my life. I learn of my strength, my will, and my perseverance. I learn about my abilities, my draw to flexibility (both in my life & on the mat), & my limitations. Most importantly, I learn more about who I am, & I learn to love that person more.
Yoga was not always a part of my life. I was not a flexible child. I could not touch my toes if I wanted to. And for a long time, as ironic as it may seem given my current profession as a holistic health practitioner and personal trainer, exercise was not something I normally engaged in nor enjoyed.
However, when I was 13 years old, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. This diagnosis came after months of widespread pain in my body to the point that it was difficult to get out of bed in the mornings. I was told then that yoga could help me, both in managing my physical pain & in managing my stress, which would, in turn, decrease the amount of pain I experienced.
At first, I was skeptical. Not only was I uninterested in yoga, but I had no confidence that I could do it. As many of my first-time students think, I thought I had to be flexible to do yoga. It never occurred to me that I had it the wrong way – I didn’t need to be flexible to do yoga; yoga would help me to become flexible.
Me doing yoga on the beach in South Carolina – Photo by Kristina Stout
And it helped me with that in more ways than one. When I finally rolled out the mat & slipped back into Downward Dog, I found that yoga was not just for the body; it is for the mind as well.
The yogic lifestyle began to drip into other parts of my life. As someone who was always easily stressed & angered, someone who lived by a rigid & unyielding schedule fueled by anxiety, yoga taught me patience & flexibility. When challenges came my way, I used the strength yoga had taught me as I held Plank Pose for minutes on end. When negative situations threatened my joy, I learned to flip them around & look at them differently, just as I viewed the world from Plow Pose with my feet sitting behind my head & my shoulders supporting my body instead. I learned to meditate on worries when needed, & to let meditation sweep the worries away when they no longer needed to concern my mind. And at the end of my practice, as I laid back during Savasana, I learned that it isn’t necessarily the work, but actually the rest & relaxation that can be the most important part of my life.
Yoga carried me through some of the most difficult moments in my life. It became a regular part of my daily routine. And I always felt better, mentally, physically & spiritually, when I stepped off my mat versus when I had stepped on.
As I got older, I discovered I wanted to share this joy with others, & so I was professionally trained in the art & began teaching my own classes. There is nothing more fulfilling to me than watching a student come into my class, their body held tight with stress, their mind clearly clouded with overwhelming thoughts, & then to watch them leave with a serene expression, their body loose & mind at ease. Through teaching yoga, I learned another important lesson – my life is meant for so much more than my own experiences. I was given a life to give to others.
Yoga is still teaching me every day. I have a stubborn mind, & I often have to be taught the same lessons again, but Yoga is patient with me, & it continues to teach me to have patience with myself. Yoga has helped me to love the body I have been given, to explore the depths of my mind & spirituality, to believe in my own abilities, & to have grace for myself when I fall. Even though I am a yoga teacher, I still often feel like I am the student in my practice, & this, too, has taught me an important lesson: humility, & in turn, compassion & empathy for others.
Yoga is a journey, filled with ups & downs, back-bending difficulties & relaxing tests of patience & flexibility. But, if you are willing to embark upon it, I promise you will discover so much more than you ever knew about the most important subject you have to learn about in this life: Your self.
Namaste.
P.S. I am currently competing to be the Yoga Warrior of 2021! Voting opens March 9. I would be so very appreciative if you would consider voting for me. You can place your vote here.
My birthday, the day I was born, is February 6. But my other birthday, the day I publicly declared my faith in God & was baptized, is February 16.
On the day I was baptized at United Church, I was given the opportunity to share my story. For the anniversary of that day, I originally thought I would rewrite my story, but instead, I think I am going to present it as is. I think the original words tell the story well enough. So, without further ado, here is my baptismal speech that I read a year ago, the reason I trust & believe in a God who loves me & you. Here is my testimony.
I have been struggling with the idea of baptism for a few months now. When the idea was presented to me to get baptized, my initial response was that I already have been. I was baptized as a baby, and this has always been enough for me. And, yet, here I am.
I grew up in a Christian home. I went to church regularly. As a child, it was never a question for me of whether or not to believe in Christ; that was a given. When I started middle school, I joined my church’s youth group, and by the time I was in high school, I was a junior leader in that group. I served regularly in my community. I shared my faith openly.
At youth group, the leaders always talked about how our faith would be tested by the world. The leaders said people would mock us for our faith, that people at school wouldn’t want to be friends with us just because we were Christian. I already knew about this. I prayed openly at the lunch table at school, so you can probably guess that I was not one of the most popular kids. But I wasn’t really bothered by this. I had a group of friends that I cared about, and that was enough for me. And I felt like I had already mastered this challenge of having my faith tested. My best friend was an atheist, and we had a great relationship. My faith had never wavered in all of our theological discussions.
But in high school, it became clear that this was not actually the challenge that was going to test me. In my junior year, I became very sick. I had to leave school to deal with my health, which probably sounded to everyone else like the perfect excuse not to go to school. But anyone who knows me would know how awful this was. I was the odd child who, when brought home with a fever from elementary school, would sob and beg my mother to take me back, promising that, despite what the school nurse said, I wasn’t really sick. So, for me to actually willingly leave school at the time that I should have been applying to college and taking my SATs is a measure of just how challenging my daily life had become because of my health.
Me learning to drive my Junior year of high school
The doctors had no answers. They slapped eleven different diagnoses on my head, each one a different chronic condition. None of them had cures. All of them I would have for life. I lost fifteen pounds off of my already small frame in less than a month. Even on warm days, I was huddled in a sweatshirt, my fingernails blue from the lack of blood circulation. Every bite of food I put into my mouth made me sick. My head pounded so terribly that it hurt to laugh. Every inch of my body ached. My skin was so tender I felt as if it was bruised.
As much as physical health was struggling, my mental health was failing, too. I have always been a perfectionist, and that characteristic went into overdrive when this happened. My life resembled anything but perfect, and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. And this shook my faith.
I went into autopilot. To everyone on the outside, I’m sure it looked like I was taking all these health problems stoically. I have pictures of me in a hospital bed, reading a textbook as the doctors begged me to give my schoolwork a rest, but “no, because, I’m sorry, but the AP test is in six months and I have to be prepared.” I continued to not only go to church, but lead in the church. I continued to share my faith, or, at least, what used to be my faith. The words came easily because I had been saying them for years. But they didn’t touch my heart the same way anymore.
I was angry at God. I was confused as to why he would let this happen to me. I had always been devoted to Him, had always served Him in any way that I could, and yet here I was, sick and helpless and seemingly alone. I knew He had the power to heal, and yet, He had neglected to heal me. He had ignored my prayers, and I was so terribly hurt by this I didn’t even know how to talk to Him anymore.
But on February 17, 2017, everything changed. I had continued to listen to Christian music during the years that I had been sick, hoping for some inspiration, and I had fallen in love with the band MercyMe. I listened to their music regularly. And on this day in February, they released a song that made me remember who I am, and, more importantly, whose I am.
The song is called Even If. When I first heard it, I liked that it incorporated the old hymn “It Is Well with My Soul” into its melody, because that was always my favorite hymn. The second time I heard it, I actually started to listen to the lyrics. The third time I heard it, I was driving, and I had to pull over because of how hard I was sobbing.
The song starts with the story of someone who always encourages others, who shares the message of God with everyone else, but he just can’t do it anymore. It’s easy to do it when everything in his life is going well, but what is he supposed to do when he is tested at this level? The song laments that people say it only takes a little faith to move a mountain, which is good, because a little faith is all he has.
But then he says, “God, when You choose to leave mountains unmovable, give me the strength to be able to sing, it is well with my soul.”
Everything about my faith up until this point in my life had been public. I publicly shared my faith many times. I was a leader in the church. Every time I had given my life to Christ, it was in a public place. But I never truly understood what it meant to give my life to Christ until this moment, when giving my life to Christ was the only option I had to bring any peace into my life. I had never understood that giving your life to Christ meant trusting him with everything, even if my life was spiraling out of control. Even if it seemed like He wasn’t listening, even though He was, and He always had been. And it was there, in the privacy of my car, with the volume on the radio turned up to the max, that I truly gave my life to Christ.
What did this change for my physical health? Absolutely nothing. There was no miraculous healing. The skies did not open and angels did not descend onto my Hyundai and take away all of my problems. But inside of me, everything was different. He brought a peace into my life that I had been so desperately searching for, and He has reminded the perfectionist part of me that, even in this broken body, in His eyes, I am perfect and I am loved, and that is all that matters.
Since then, I have trusted God to show me what His plan is for me, and so far, it has been so much grander than anything I could have imagined. He has used my struggles to help others who have faced similar challenges. He has inspired me to help others who are currently fighting health battles. Last summer, he gave me the means and the necessities needed to run with a team across the country to raise money for young adults fighting cancer. I have begun to see the beauty He has created in me by not healing me. And I am so grateful, because what I used to see as the worst part of my life has actually become the biggest blessing I could have ever been given. I am stronger and more devoted to God now than I ever have been.
So, today, I am here to be baptized because I want to publicly declare that there is a God who loves all of us, who has a perfect plan for each one of us that is too grand for us to ever comprehend. God has a plan that will bring us the greatest sense of peace and love if we just choose to trust Him.
