Lifestyle – Page 5 – Tyler V Layne

10 reasons why I feel lucky this St. Patrick’s Day

March 17, 2021 2 Comments

Joseph & me in our St. Paddy’s Half Marathon shirts & medal

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you buy a product after clicking a link, I may earn a commission off of that purchase.

May your troubles be less, your blessings be more. And nothing but happiness come through your door.
Irish Blessing

Call it luck or call it blessings, I feel very fortunate this St. Patrick’s Day.

Just over a year ago, on March 5, Governor Larry Hogan announced a state of emergency in Maryland due to the coronavirus pandemic. The year since then has been difficult for many, but on this St. Patrick’s Day, I can’t help but think just how grateful I am for the many lovely things this year has blessed me with.

If you’re feeling a little unlucky today, I invite you to read on & ponder the little blessings in your life that may have gone overlooked. There is plenty of negativity in life to dwell on, but I find that when I focus on the positive & practice gratitude, my life only continues to brighten.

1. My engagement to the love of my life

The proposal – photo by Jon Mauler Photography

I just had to start with this blessing. I could not be more grateful for the man that swept me off my feet nearly two years ago & has not put me down since. I feel so fortunate to have found someone who makes me feel so loved & that I find pure joy in loving. I cannot wait to marry him this August.

2. My supportive family & friends

This blessing goes without saying as well. I am very fortunate to have a loving & giving support system. I truly enjoy spending time with my family & friends, & I cannot wait to see more of these amazing people once I am fully vaccinated.

3. My work

My desk on my first day at work at Hunt Valley Church – they surprised me with some cute office supplies & some of my favorite snacks!

At the beginning of the pandemic, my small business, like many others, struggled. I went months without making much of an income. I am so grateful to have found work, & even more thankful that I have been able to keep my business, which is my true passion, alive. I know I am very fortunate to have found employment when so many are still struggling, so this is a blessing that I never take for granted.

4. My health

This is a big one for me. During the COVID-19 pandemic, my own health struggled for different reasons. I have struggled with chronic illness since the age of 10, & it seemed to get worse just as the pandemic was taking hold. I am so grateful for the support of my loved ones who helped me get through it, & I am grateful for my strong body that fought to get me to where I am now. I feel truly blessed to be where I am now, & that neither my loved ones nor I have been sick with COVID-19. I know we are some of the lucky ones.

5. My faith & church community

My baptism at United Church – this happened just weeks before the stay-at-home order began

When times get hard, I feel like people often turn from or turn to God. I am so very grateful that my faith has carried me through the last year, & despite the pandemic making it difficult to meet in-person, my church family has continued to grow stronger. At United, we have begun to hold services in person, but online, streamed versions are still available, & I meet weekly with my Bible study group on Zoo m. It has been a way to stay connected to a supportive & loving community of people, to delve deeper into my relationship with God, & to stay strong in my faith during a very difficult year.

6. Technology

Never have I been more grateful for technology than during the past year. Working from home, online classes, & endless Zoom meetings can get old, but they are truly such a blessing. I cannot imagine what we would have done without these socially distanced options. Thanks to the technology we have today, I have been able to have a job, Joseph has been able to pursue his Master’s degree in clinical mental health counseling, & I have been able to stay connected with friends & family that I otherwise would not have been able to see. It is nowhere near the same as being able to meet in-person, but I am truly grateful for the opportunities technology has given us to stay connected during this lonely time.

7. Healthcare workers

Me & Joseph with his sister-in-law, Becca, & brother, Jon – Becca is a nurse at [hospital], & I am so grateful for what she does

I cannot even begin to thank healthcare workers enough. I cannot imagine the stress, the exhaustion, & the devastation these dedicated & hard-working people must have seen & experienced. To this day, these men & women are still on the front lines, fighting this invisible enemy. I am truly humbled by their selfless care.

8. The Simple Joys

For Valentine’s Day, I made Red Velvet Mochas – you can find the recipe here

I was blessed with a few amazing trips this past year, & a joyous wedding occasion to look forward to this year, but for the most part, 2020 was a year without much to look forward to. However, I began to find such joy in the little things. Instead of rushing out the door with a coffee in hand, I have learned to slow down & enjoy my first few sips, to savor the flavor & the feeling of the warm mug in my hands. I am learning to take notice to the warmth of the sun on my skin, to listen to the birds chirping in the trees, & to stop & take notice to the changing seasons. I am enjoying the simple joys in my life that I normally would have overlooked in the busyness of life, & they have made the last year of my life truly beautiful

9. Good Conversations

Me at my job at Charm City Run in September chatting with the Training Program Director, Kelly Maurer

There wasn’t a lot of doing in the last year, but there was a whole lot of talking, & I really enjoyed it. A lot of deep & meaningful conversations came out of the last year, & I felt like I had the chance to get to know people in a new way. Topics we never would have talked about & questions we probably never would have asked were finally ventured because there was nothing else to do. I enjoyed getting to know the people in my life better, & I feel like, despite the distance, many of my relationships actually grew stronger.

10. The vaccine

There is always a light at the end of the tunnel, & I feel like we can finally see it. The vaccine is here. I received my first dose this past week! There still may be months ahead of us, but I feel like I can finally see an end in sight, & I cannot wait to step outside, mask-free, into the new world that will come out of it. Until then, however, I will patiently wait, enjoying all of the many blessings I have, even in this moment, to be grateful for.

Lifestyle, My Life

Be Kind by Ellen Spring 2021 review: Be kind to your body & the earth

March 16, 2021 3 Comments

Watch my unboxing video on my new YouTube channel

Note: This article does contain affiliate links. If you buy a product after clicking a link, I may earn a commission off of that purchase.

Sustainable living is simple, fun, & fashionable thanks to the Be Kind by Ellen subscription box.

Ellen DeGeneres was my childhood hero. I loved her mission of sharing kindness with the world through our gifts. Her way of sharing that kindness was through comedy & her philanthropy. She inspired me to always think about ways that I could use my own passions, such as writing & running, to help the world around me.

Ellen’s Be Kind box is a fantastic way to take care of yourself & the world around you. When I saw the advertisement online, I could not resist purchasing my own subscription that night. Every season, a new box filled with socially-conscious products are released. Every item in the box makes a positive impact in the world, whether it be for the environment or for another important cause, such as women’s health. And all of the items will help you feel better about yourself, too. It’s an opportunity to treat yourself with something special, & to feel good about it because you’re helping the world around you as well.

A different box is delivered each season of the year, & each box costs $54.99, but the items inside add up to over a $200 value! When you sign up for an annual subscription, you save 10% off of all four boxes. I personally signed up for the annual subscription, & now that I have received my first box, I could not be happier that I did.

I received my first box last week (watch the unboxing video here!), & after a week of using these products, I can confidently say that I adore each & every one of them. They each fit seamlessly into my lifestyle but help me to take better care of myself, & I feel good about using each of them because I know they are helping the world in some way.

The Spring Box was themed around the idea of setting new intentions for the year. Now is the time to think about the causes that mean the most to us, & setting positive intentions of how we can contribute meaningfully to them. It is the time to think about what things most touch our hearts & convict us to act, & then set up for our life the tenets, & the actions behind them, that will aid us in helping those movements grow & make a meaningful difference in our world.

The Be Kind by Ellen Spring Box was dedicated to giving back to brands that are doing their part to help our planet, & the creatures that call it home, to thrive. Keep reading to learn more about these amazing brands & the products they have created that have now become a part of my regular routine.

SAMARA Shoulder Bag

SAMARA is committed to making luxury fashion items that are both simple & elegant from vegan sources. All of SAMARA’s products are eco-friendly & affordable, so everyone can enjoy being fashionable while helping the planet. And SAMARA’s products are as eye-appealing as they are innovative – this brand is leading the way in the use of apple-based leather & recycled ocean plastics to create their products. My favorite part of this brand is that they are committed to giving back to the community as well. The Soular Backpack is an initiative founded by SAMARA CEO Salima Visram. This initiative provides solar light to students in East Africa, which eliminates the need for kerosene lamps that emit harmful & dangerous fumes, as well as helps students to study safely at home.

Personally, I love this bag. I don’t normally use a purse; I have always been more of a backpack lover. But sometimes I need something a little more fashionable & small for an afternoon or evening out, & this bag is perfect for that. It’s simple but elegant, a fashionable choice that carries everything I need without being overly bulky or attract too much attention. And, of course, I can feel good about using it, because I know it is made from sustainable materials & is helping the world in more ways than one.

The SAMARA shoulder bag in the Be Kind by Ellen box was designed exclusively for this subscription. However, you can find a similar bag in a range of available in four different colors here.

Alt Linen Kitchen Towel Set

I have always wanted to switch to reusable, cotton towels. They are better for the environment, & they have to be more cost-effective. The initial investment is more expensive, but after years of buying endless rolls of paper towels, I know I would have spent less if I had just bought a set of reusable linens. The problem is, they get dirty, & as terrible as it sounds, I didn’t feel like dealing with that. I felt like they would get stained to the point that I would not be able to get them clean in the wash (I have seen my paper towels after I use them, & I am often grateful I am just going to throw them away rather than try to wash them). No one wants to use a stained towel – as privileged as it may sound, it just feels dirty, even after it’s been in the wash. I like the feeling of a clean towel to dry my hands.

Alt Linen is the solution to all of my problems. They have created beautiful, white, reusable cotton towels & napkins to replace paper products. The best part is that you only pay for them once, & then you can replace them for free when they are worn! That’s right: You can send your used linens back to Alt Linen, & they will send you new ones for free. All you have to do is pay for shipping. There is now no reason not to use reusable kitchen towels. It’s more cost-effective, beneficial for the environment, &, thanks to Alt Linen, it’s actually more convenient, too.

You can purchase your own set of Alt Linen towels here.

Fill it Forward Water Bottle & Refill Tracking Stickers

Fill it Forward has created an entire community committed to making the world a better place just by drinking their water! With the Fill it Forward app, you can contribute to meaningful causes with every bottle of water you drink. Here’s how it works: You put a refill tracker sticker on your reusable water bottle. Then, every time you refill your water bottle, you scan the sticker with the app. According to the Fill it Forward website, with each scan, funding is donated to charitable partners that “specialize in creating sustainable solutions that help bring clean water & nutritious food to people in need.”

And the sticker does good for you, too! By scanning the sticker every time you refill your water bottle, you can keep track of how much water you are drinking, which can help you to stay hydrated.

The Be Kind by Ellen box came with the sticker & a lightweight, leak-proof reusable water bottle. Eliminating plastic water bottles also helps the environment, so this product is good for the world in so many ways. The Be Kind by Ellen Fill it Forward water bottle has positive affirmations written on it, so it’s good for your mental as well as your physical health. I love drinking my water while I repeat the mantras to myself. It helps my body to feel better, & it rejuvenates my mind as well so I’m ready to take on the rest of my day.

Aceology Ice Globe Facial Massagers

I am not good at giving myself self-care, & I don’t think I am alone in this. That’s why I created the Sunshine Box – to give people more self-care & joy. And that’s why I am loving these Aceology ice globe facial massagers. They are an easy way to give myself a little more self-care in my life.

Aceology creates vegan & cruelty-free products that help you take care of your skin. They make a variety of masks for all different benefits, including detoxification & skin illumination. And I can tell you first-hand, their facial massagers are so soothing & relaxing. They help to reduce face redness & puffiness, & they shrink your pores, which means less acne. They can also help with sinus, headaches, & muscle tension. Using these facial massagers literally brings a spa-like experience at home to you.

Starfish Project 14K Gold-Plated Bracelet

The last item in my box was a beautiful, gold-plated bracelet from the Starfish Project. The Starfish Project helps women who have been exploited and/or trafficked find freedom. Through vocational training, holistic care programs, & skill training, the Starfish Project gives these women the tools, skills & confidence they need to secure their independence. Additionally, all of the jewelry they make is quality-controlled, plated sustainably, & made by hand.

I love my new bracelet. It’s simple but elegant, a perfect piece to wear every day or for a fancy occasion. And every time I look at it, I think about the women this bracelet is helping, & it helps me to feel more empowered to take on my day as well.

A Final Note

Last but not least, I would like to touch briefly on the design of the box. Ashely Price, a Black female artist based in Houston, designed the beautiful art on the front of the box. Ashley left her corporate job seven years ago to create PinkLoMein. According to her website, Ashely says she is committed to reflecting “everyday people with a focus on women empowerment & positive affirmations” in her artwork. For the Be Kind box, Ashely said she wanted to represent “empowerment & simply feeling good about yourself.” The quotes in the women’s hair were meant to encourage recipients to be bold, brave, grateful, & most importantly, kind.

I absolutely loved my Be Kind box. It brightened my day when I received it in the mail, & the products I received have brightened every day since. If you are passionate about helping our planet & bettering the world around us, I strongly suggest subscribing to your own box. It’s good for you, & for the environment.

As I said in my unboxing video, take care of your body & take care of the earth: They are the only places you have to live.

Lifestyle, My Life

My other birthday: The day I declared my faith in a God who loves me

February 16, 2021 6 Comments

Me & my high school Fellowship of Christian Athletes (FCA) coach, Rick Sneade, after he baptized me

My birthday, the day I was born, is February 6. But my other birthday, the day I publicly declared my faith in God & was baptized, is February 16.

On the day I was baptized at United Church, I was given the opportunity to share my story. For the anniversary of that day, I originally thought I would rewrite my story, but instead, I think I am going to present it as is. I think the original words tell the story well enough. So, without further ado, here is my baptismal speech that I read a year ago, the reason I trust & believe in a God who loves me & you. Here is my testimony.

I have been struggling with the idea of baptism for a few months now. When the idea was presented to me to get baptized, my initial response was that I already have been. I was baptized as a baby, and this has always been enough for me. And, yet, here I am.

I grew up in a Christian home. I went to church regularly. As a child, it was never a question for me of whether or not to believe in Christ; that was a given. When I started middle school, I joined my church’s youth group, and by the time I was in high school, I was a junior leader in that group. I served regularly in my community. I shared my faith openly.

At youth group, the leaders always talked about how our faith would be tested by the world. The leaders said people would mock us for our faith, that people at school wouldn’t want to be friends with us just because we were Christian. I already knew about this. I prayed openly at the lunch table at school, so you can probably guess that I was not one of the most popular kids. But I wasn’t really bothered by this. I had a group of friends that I cared about, and that was enough for me. And I felt like I had already mastered this challenge of having my faith tested. My best friend was an atheist, and we had a great relationship. My faith had never wavered in all of our theological discussions.

But in high school, it became clear that this was not actually the challenge that was going to test me. In my junior year, I became very sick. I had to leave school to deal with my health, which probably sounded to everyone else like the perfect excuse not to go to school. But anyone who knows me would know how awful this was. I was the odd child who, when brought home with a fever from elementary school, would sob and beg my mother to take me back, promising that, despite what the school nurse said, I wasn’t really sick. So, for me to actually willingly leave school at the time that I should have been applying to college and taking my SATs is a measure of just how challenging my daily life had become because of my health.

Me learning to drive my Junior year of high school

The doctors had no answers. They slapped eleven different diagnoses on my head, each one a different chronic condition. None of them had cures. All of them I would have for life. I lost fifteen pounds off of my already small frame in less than a month. Even on warm days, I was huddled in a sweatshirt, my fingernails blue from the lack of blood circulation. Every bite of food I put into my mouth made me sick. My head pounded so terribly that it hurt to laugh. Every inch of my body ached. My skin was so tender I felt as if it was bruised.

As much as physical health was struggling, my mental health was failing, too. I have always been a perfectionist, and that characteristic went into overdrive when this happened. My life resembled anything but perfect, and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. And this shook my faith.

I went into autopilot. To everyone on the outside, I’m sure it looked like I was taking all these health problems stoically. I have pictures of me in a hospital bed, reading a textbook as the doctors begged me to give my schoolwork a rest, but “no, because, I’m sorry, but the AP test is in six months and I have to be prepared.” I continued to not only go to church, but lead in the church. I continued to share my faith, or, at least, what used to be my faith. The words came easily because I had been saying them for years. But they didn’t touch my heart the same way anymore.

I was angry at God. I was confused as to why he would let this happen to me. I had always been devoted to Him, had always served Him in any way that I could, and yet here I was, sick and helpless and seemingly alone. I knew He had the power to heal, and yet, He had neglected to heal me. He had ignored my prayers, and I was so terribly hurt by this I didn’t even know how to talk to Him anymore.

Me at a Campus Crusade for Christ retreat my Junior year of college

But on February 17, 2017, everything changed. I had continued to listen to Christian music during the years that I had been sick, hoping for some inspiration, and I had fallen in love with the band MercyMe. I listened to their music regularly. And on this day in February, they released a song that made me remember who I am, and, more importantly, whose I am.

The song is called Even If. When I first heard it, I liked that it incorporated the old hymn “It Is Well with My Soul” into its melody, because that was always my favorite hymn. The second time I heard it, I actually started to listen to the lyrics. The third time I heard it, I was driving, and I had to pull over because of how hard I was sobbing.

The song starts with the story of someone who always encourages others, who shares the message of God with everyone else, but he just can’t do it anymore. It’s easy to do it when everything in his life is going well, but what is he supposed to do when he is tested at this level? The song laments that people say it only takes a little faith to move a mountain, which is good, because a little faith is all he has.

But then he says, “God, when You choose to leave mountains unmovable, give me the strength to be able to sing, it is well with my soul.”

Everything about my faith up until this point in my life had been public. I publicly shared my faith many times. I was a leader in the church. Every time I had given my life to Christ, it was in a public place. But I never truly understood what it meant to give my life to Christ until this moment, when giving my life to Christ was the only option I had to bring any peace into my life. I had never understood that giving your life to Christ meant trusting him with everything, even if my life was spiraling out of control. Even if it seemed like He wasn’t listening, even though He was, and He always had been. And it was there, in the privacy of my car, with the volume on the radio turned up to the max, that I truly gave my life to Christ.

What did this change for my physical health? Absolutely nothing. There was no miraculous healing. The skies did not open and angels did not descend onto my Hyundai and take away all of my problems. But inside of me, everything was different. He brought a peace into my life that I had been so desperately searching for, and He has reminded the perfectionist part of me that, even in this broken body, in His eyes, I am perfect and I am loved, and that is all that matters.

Since then, I have trusted God to show me what His plan is for me, and so far, it has been so much grander than anything I could have imagined. He has used my struggles to help others who have faced similar challenges. He has inspired me to help others who are currently fighting health battles. Last summer, he gave me the means and the necessities needed to run with a team across the country to raise money for young adults fighting cancer. I have begun to see the beauty He has created in me by not healing me. And I am so grateful, because what I used to see as the worst part of my life has actually become the biggest blessing I could have ever been given. I am stronger and more devoted to God now than I ever have been.

So, today, I am here to be baptized because I want to publicly declare that there is a God who loves all of us, who has a perfect plan for each one of us that is too grand for us to ever comprehend. God has a plan that will bring us the greatest sense of peace and love if we just choose to trust Him.

Lifestyle, My Life

“Love isn’t 50/50”: Spreading some wisdom & love this Valentine’s Day

February 14, 2021 No Comments

Check out my new favorite tool for all my card- & craft-making needs, washi tape!

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you purchase a product after clicking the associated link, I will earn a small commission off of that purchase.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Today is a day dedicated to showing love to one another. It’s supposed to be a day filled with generosity & endearment for others. And for some, it still is, but for others, this is the holiday they hate the most.

I remember being single & feeling lonely on Valentine’s Day. It’s never fun to celebrate any holiday alone, but a holiday framed around celebrating a significant other has to be the most challenging. As picturesque photos of loved ones cuddling together fill our social media feeds, it’s understandable why some people would feel even more isolated & dejected.

But here’s the interesting thing to me: Those photos clouding our social media don’t tell the full story. They are full of smiling, blissful couples who look like they have the perfect relationship. However, we all know that no one has the “perfect” relationship – they are always fraught with difficulties.

Does this mean couples shouldn’t post about their significant other & share their love? Absolutely not! There is nothing wrong with celebrating a joyous thing, & being in a relationship can be one of life’s joys. In fact, you can probably expect to see a photo from me today honoring the love of my life, & why wouldn’t I? I do adore him, & I want to celebrate that.

But, there is a problem when anyone looking at these photos thinks these pictures tell the whole story. The truth is, there are hardships & joys, lessons to be learned & things to be celebrated, both when someone is single & in a relationship. And Valentine’s Day should be a day to celebrate both of these stages of life with a giving & loving spirit.

That is why Joseph & I set out on a bitterly cold February morning to spread a little positivity for Valentine’s Day. Earlier in the week, I bought heart-shaped boxes of chocolates & Starbucks gift cards, & I spent an entire evening making little valentines to go with them. Our goal was to give with the generous spirit we believe Valentine’s Day should always embody, & to learn people’s answers to one question: “What is one thing you learned, either while being single or in a relationship?”

We met with people young & old from all different walks of life, & the answers we got were fantastic. Being single gives you more freedom to do the things you want to do. Loving yourself is the most important thing, both when you’re single & when you’re in a relationship. Compromise & communication are two of the most important skills you can have in a relationship. And my personal favorite: A relationship is not 50/50 as the old adage goes, but actually 100/100 – both people have to be giving their all for a relationship to work.

And I loved watching people’s faces light up when we handed them their chocolates & Starbucks gift card. We said goodbye to everyone with a cheery, “Happy Valentines Day!” and they always returned the same. We watched them walk away with smiles on their faces, chatting excitedly about their moment sharing their wisdom & lessons learned on camera, & their joy in receiving an unexpected gift. I felt in that moment, we were all celebrating Valentine’s Day in a much more authentic & genuine way. We all felt loved, seen, & appreciated.

This Valentine’s Day, I encourage you, whether you are single or in a relationship, to enjoy this holiday for what it is: A chance to show love, either to others or to yourself, in a genuine & heartfelt way. Treat someone else to a coffee, or buy one for yourself. Indulge in some chocolate treats, or give them to someone you love. And remember that, no matter what stage of life you are in, it is serving a purpose in your life, & there is something to be appreciated & learned from it.

Most importantly, as I wrote in each little valentine that we handed out, know that you are loved just as you are, and that is something worth remembering and celebrating, not just today, but every day of the year.

P.S. Check out Joseph’s video capturing our entire day & all the great lessons we learned!

Evolve, Health, Lifestyle

The Sunshine Box: A Revolutionized Self-Care Box Subscription

January 26, 2021 No Comments

The Sunshine Box is not your average self-care box subscription.

We all need more self-care in our lives, but we are terrible at giving it to ourselves. Subscription boxes are a great way to simplify the process – the materials for a perfect self-care date with yourself are sent right to your door! But here’s the problem – self-care is a very personal experience, yet with most subscription boxes, you will be sent a carbon copy of what everyone else (or at least a group of people) are receiving that month.

It’s not the same with the Sunshine Box. By filling out the form below, I get to know you, what you like, & how you actually need to engage in self-care each month. Based on that information, I create a personalized box JUST FOR YOU! It’s a special gift for you every month, & it’s the perfect way to make sure you are making time for self-care in your life.

Learn more about the Sunshine Box & purchase your customized self-care box on the Evolve Wellness website.

Lifestyle, My Life, Uncategorized

My favorite way to keep a daily journal

January 26, 2021 No Comments

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you purchase a product after clicking the associated link, I will earn a small commission off of that purchase.

I have always wanted to be one of those people who kept a daily journal. I would go through periods of my life when I regularly wrote in a diary, but to be completely honest, these were normally periods of only a few days in length. My longest stint was summer of 2019, when I kept a journal recording everything that happened every day of my 4K for Cancer journey. I thought at the end of it, I would keep the habit going, but as soon as I returned to normal life, I fell back into old habits and the journal stayed untouched on my bookshelf.

The shame of this is I actually enjoy writing, and there are many moments in my life that I wish I had recorded. The one thing I learned from journaling during 4K is it is impossible to remember all the little details that happen, but those are the ones I want to remember most. I love reading over conversations I had with people and the little things I saw while on that trip.

One of the main reasons I have always struggled with keeping a journal is that I struggle to keep my writing short and concise. I feel like I have to record every little detail of my day, which is rather time consuming and tedious when I am sitting in bed at night, ready to fall asleep.

Emily & me at Joseph’s & my engagement party

My solution came in January last year when I was visiting my childhood friend (and current matron of honor), Emily. While talking, she told me about a habit she had adopted over the last few years after seeing her dad do it. Every year, she buys a planner, not to record what she has to do, but to write down what happened each day. At the end of the day, in the space on the calendar, she records everything that happened that day. Sometimes, it’s just the mundane tasks of everyday life, but other days the content is more exciting. The most beautiful thing about this is that, whether big or small, all those special moments that happened are recorded. And if she has more to write than will fit in the little calendar square, she turns the page to the weekly view to write a little blurb about her day.

I bought a planner that week to integrate this habit into my own life, and since then, I have faithfully written in that little book every day. I love the fact that I am restrained to a small space to write about my day. It is a totally doable task at the end of the day, and it makes me think about what the most important details of my day were so they will be the ones that get recorded.

I just have to say, what a year to start this habit! After the beginning of March, my life suddenly became a lot less normal, as did the lives of most people on the planet. I can’t say every day at home was an interesting calendar square to fill out, but every interesting conversation or little hobby I started for fun or work was recorded. Looking back through my planner today, I can’t help but smile while reading all those little moments that I would have forgotten by now.

One of my favorite things about this is that I can easily turn back to any day to see what happened. So, a year from now, I can look back to see what happened today. I can remember exactly how I felt and what happened on any day by easily flipping to that calendar page.

In addition to the original idea given to me by Emily, I have added a few extra steps. At the beginning of the month, my planner has a space to record goals and important dates, and at the end of the month, it has a page for notes. These are my spaces to spend a little extra time at the end of the month thinking back over what happened and reflect on my experiences. In the goals section, I record goals, achievements, and big events that happened; in the important dates section, I write the days the most important things that month happened with their corresponding number; and in the notes section, I write a little summary of my month.

I love three things about this little extra step I have taken. One, I tend to be very hard on myself. I am a perfectionist, and I am often looking for the next goal to achieve rather than recognizing myself for what I have done in my life. Having a section dedicated to recording the achievements in my life, whether big or small, is a little act of self-care to recognize myself for the hard work I have done. Two, I love that the most important dates are marked, so I can easily look to see which days meant the most to me and then flip to those corresponding calendar dates to read more. Three, the notes section honestly gives me closure at the end of each month and it helps me to better reflect on what is happening in my life and set goals for the next month. I can’t know where I want to go if I don’t know where I have been. This moment of reflection both helps me to make sense of difficult times (such as during the worst of the coronavirus pandemic), celebrate happier months (my month of engagement and travel with Joseph), and look forward to what I want to do next with my life. It’s like taking a moment at the end of each month to write a closing to that chapter of my life.

If you struggle to keep a journal, I highly recommend incorporating this habit into your life. It takes less than two minutes at the end of each day, but I feel it has honestly increased the positivity, productivity and gratitude in my life. Giving myself a moment to reflect at the end of each day and month helps me to focus on the good in my life. And knowing that this moment is coming at the end of each day encourages me to spend my time more wisely so I will have something to write about.

And it’s not too late to start! Check out the links below to get your planner, & some of my favorite journaling tools, & get started right away. The best time to have started this habit was the beginning of this year (or honestly, many years ago), but the next best time is today.

A 2021 planner to get you started

This planner has all the sections you need to help get you started on your new journaling technique.

Amazing pens

You don’t need a boring, black, ballpoint pen to journal with. Check out these beautiful, fine point markers, perfect for journaling, drawing, or just writing aesthetically-pleasing notes.

Washi tape

Washi tape is my new obsession. It makes everything look so much prettier & organized, even if it isn’t. Check out this set on Amazon, or do your own search! There are so many different colors, sizes & designs.

Planner Stickers

Maybe you’re not feeling the creative vibes of making your own stickers with Washi tape. No problem! Check out these beautiful stickers that you can decorate your planner with. There are over 1,500 designs to help you keep that planner looking beautiful and organized.

Happy journaling!

Lifestyle, Stories

Broken Pieces

January 18, 2021 No Comments

The wound is the place where the light enters you.
-Rumi

The first thing we were taught when we were young,
Was that each person is unique and special.
We are all different,
But our differences are what make the world bright and interesting.
On the playground, we distinguished each other by the games we liked to play,
Whether it was kickball or playing with dolls.
We did not care about gender or skin color.
We were too young to know about sexual orientation.
Our political knowledge only extended to knowing a mighty president existed,
And ruled over our great country.
Religion did not arise in conversation.
We cared only about ribbons and bows,
Four leaf clovers and the grass between our toes. 

At what point did we begin to notice the variations in the color of skin?
When did we begin to believe it was strange to love someone like us,
Or that differences in our beliefs should divide us?
When did the bullying begin,
The blatant disregard for other’s feelings,
The cruel empowerment of a few to believe others are below them?
When did boys pulling pigtails become men unbuttoning blouses?
When did girls start painting their eyes and telling lies?
When did they begin to dwindle away or expand before our eyes,
As food became an escape or an enemy?
When did other’s expectations begin to weigh on our minds,
And cause life itself to feel heavy and wearisome?  

As our lives crumbled, we would swear we were fine.
Meanwhile scars began to appear on arms,
Alcohol burned down throats,
And love became only a word instead of comforting arms.
We compared ourselves to one another,
In competitions where no one won,
And we judged one another for trivial things,
Things far more trivial than the games we played on the playground.
We judged each other for skin color, for love, for basic human beliefs,
We judged each other for our capabilities, our appearance, our family income,
We judged each other because we couldn’t face the judgment 
That we inflicted upon ourselves,
And we finally created a world where no one felt at home,
No one felt they measured up,
And all of us were desperately looking for love,
Normally in all the wrong places. 

Somewhere along the way,
During this collection of experiences called “life,"
We forgot how to love each other,
And so, in turn, forgot how to love ourselves. 

I don’t know how to fix what it feels like we broke,
But it probably starts with us,
Each of us, individually,
Accepting one another for who we are,
And then, in turn, accepting ourselves.
It probably begins with loving others without constrains or expectations,
And therefore loving ourselves the same way.
It probably starts with extending words of kindness to those around us,
And so then also speaking those kind words to ourselves.
It probably starts small, with a hopeful outlook towards a brighter tomorrow,
And then working every day towards that goal. 

I’m not sure if we will ever fix what we broke,
Here on earth, where we have been pushing boundaries until they snapped 
Since the moment we arrived,
But maybe, if we focus on just that,
How it took all of us,
All of us brilliantly unique individuals,
All of us hurting, broken, lovely humans,
All of us to destroy what we were given,
Then maybe, just maybe,
We can rebuild something beautiful together. 

For beauty comes, not from the absence of brokenness,
But from the light that is able to shine through,
When we put our broken pieces together again.

Lifestyle, My Life, Relationship

Falling in love

January 6, 2021 No Comments

Photo taken by Jon Mauler Photography – Find more of his amazing work at https://www.jonmauler.com

It was your laugh that first captured my heart. It was one of those unique, true laughs, one that shook your entire body. Your smile was wide and genuine. Your hazel eyes were so bright they lit up your entire face. You made me laugh, too, the first authentic laugh I had experienced in a long time. I laughed more in that half hour with you than I had in the last year of my life.

Nothing could have prepared me for what I felt when I first met you. It wasn’t the usual attraction of a crush or the awkward first greetings of two strangers. When I talked to you, it was as if the two of us had been friends for years. Our souls knew each other before our hearts or minds did. Your eyes met mine, and I just knew, deep in my being, that there was something special about you.

Falling in love with you felt different than anything I had ever experienced before. It was different from the shakiness and clamminess of a first date. It was deeper than the butterflies at the first spark of attraction. It was a warmth that touched my soul and filled me from head to toe.

With you, I felt that on the second date. You and I drove around in your car, listening to music and talking about things people normally wait to share until far later in the relationship. I didn’t want the date to end. For the first time in my life, I was willing to be late to class, willing to skip school just to spend a few more minutes with you. I knew at that moment that I was going to marry you one day.

I remember sitting on my couch a few weeks later, when you told me you loved me. The next morning, the two of us watched the sun rise over the water, listening the caw of seagulls and the crashing waves. The sky blushed pink as I leaned my head on your shoulder. With you, I felt safe and comfortable.

I remember our first fight. I remember the yells, the tears of anguish, the sleepless night. It felt as if my heart had been wrenched out of my chest. I had not known before then that heartache is not just a metaphor – it is a physical pain when you are hurt by someone you love.

You and I made up the following day. The two of us ran to each other from across a parking lot like a scene from a movie. You brought me flowers and promised you loved me, that you were going to make things right. I knew that fight was not going to be our last. There would be many more disagreements, and the two of us would be hurt many more times in the future. But I knew that day, whatever life threw at us, I could count on you to work through it with me. Together, the two of us would always make things right again. That day, “you and I” became “we,” ready to take on the world together.

Our first holiday season together was full of new experiences and an undeniable warmth, despite the chill of the outdoors. For you, the days were filled with new rituals that would become traditions. For me, there were the thrilling days spent in the mountains, gliding down the snow at an alarming rate, feeling the rush of adrenaline in my veins as I went skiing for the first time. Catching my breath at the bottom of the mountain, I realized that with you, I was the person I had always wanted to be. You made me brave and strong – you made me believe that I could do absolutely anything. And I knew together we would tackle many more mountains.

February was bliss, and then came the dark month of March, when everyone in the entire world hid in their homes and watched the news with fear. In an instant, without me even realizing it was happening, we were separated, merely hours apart but with no way of being able to see one another. It was a month that should have tested us, but we only grew closer. Late night phone calls and vague plans about the future gave us hope. When we finally made the decision to risk seeing each other again, I held on to you as tight as I could and promised myself that I wouldn’t let you go for so long ever again.

April passed, and then May dwindled away as well. Before I knew it, I found myself in the warm days of summer, though it seemed the world was still stuck in the wintry blues. Jobs had been lost, rioters were destroying cities, and a looming pandemic had us all fearing what tomorrow would bring. But now I was experiencing all of the chaos with you, and somehow, that made everything feel okay. I had found my home away from home.

It was my idea to have a staycation. It would be a little mental break from all the worrying and stress. We could still enjoy our summer without ever having to travel too far from your house. I planned a week of activities. I knew it was going to be a week full of memories. I had no idea just how memorable the week was going to be.

We relaxed at home, tried new foods, and near the end of the week, we traveled around the state of Maryland. I always knew life was about the journey, not the destination, but never did that sentiment feel so true as it did driving in the car with you. We listened to music, told stories, and laughed all day. It was just with minutes to spare that we actually reached our final destination, an overlook with a perfect view of the setting sun. Out of breath from running to catch the view before it disappeared, we embraced one another. Life is a beautiful journey, and I knew then that I wanted to spend the rest of it chasing sunsets with you.

Little did I know you had the same idea. It was your idea to have a fancy picnic on the final day of our staycation. We dressed up in our finest clothes, made fresh Italian food with ingredients from a farmer’s market, and drove to the pavilion where, just a year ago, you had asked me to dance for the first time. We hiked through the trees up a rocky hill, which led us to a meadow filled with tall grass and small, yellow flowers. The pavilion sat in the center, waiting for us with a hidden secret it only shared with you, just as it had a year ago.

White flower petals led the way to the wooden beams adorned with bright sunflowers. Draped against the back of the pavilion was a white blanket. In flowing script against the backdrop, I read the words: “Of all the walks we have taken, this one is my favorite.”

It was too perfect. Too perfect to be true. Too perfect to be for me. You held out your hand and asked me to dance, and I, still hesitant to believe, agreed uncertainly. You played our song, the words of which still ringing as true as they did the day you first played it for me.

Could I love you any more?

Could I love you any more? It’s a question I have asked myself every day spent with you. Every day, it feels as if my heart will burst with how much love I have for you. Yet, somehow, every day my heart grows a little more. Every day, I find more reasons to adore you. Every day, I fall even more madly in love with you.

Could I love you any more? Even as I write this, I don’t think it’s possible. But I know I love you more than I did yesterday, and yesterday I loved you even more than I did the day before.

Because love is a choice. It’s not something that happens passively. It’s not the butterflies on a first date or the spark you feel the first time you hold hands. Love was what I found at the beginning of our relationship, when we both chose to take a chance to be vulnerable with another person. Love was what I found during our first fight, when we both decided to make the effort to make things right and to grow together. Love was what I found when you were willing to try new traditions and do the things that I loved, even if they weren’t the things you most wanted to do. Love was what I found when I went skiing down that mountain, even though my knees were shaking and my heart was pounding and I had never been more scared in my life, because it was something you loved to do. Love was what I found when the entire world was separated, yet we still chose to work on us, to keep growing stronger, even though the distance was threatening to pull us apart. Love was what I found during every trial we faced, when we chose to love each other despite any reason there was to turn away.

Love is a choice. And I choose you. I will always choose you, every day, for the rest of my life. You are my home and my adventure all at once. No matter what each day brings, no matter if it is a day filled with laughter or tears, it is a joy to be spending my life with you. I choose us. I choose you.

So when you bent down on one knee, it wasn’t even a question. As our song says, the question was practically rhetorical. Will I marry you? Could I possibly love you any more? The answer is, and will always be, yes…and I do.

Lifestyle

12 positive things that happened in 2020

January 2, 2021 No Comments

There is no doubt about it – 2020 was a crazy year, filled with multiple devastating events. But, despite all of the bad that happened, there were some things that managed to give us hope to carry on. Somehow, while the world was struggling, we were able to keep ourselves afloat by recognizing how resilient and strong we are when we work together and help one another.

So, if you are struggling to remember anything good that happened last year, read below to remember 12 encouraging events that helped us to get through a challenging time.

January – We fought the wildfires together

January was our first taste in 2020 of how capable we are of tackling challenges far beyond our abilities when we work together. People from all over the world donated money, and firefighters from other countries flew to Australia join workers and volunteers in fighting the blaze.

February – The Chiefs won the Super Bowl

They may not be your favorite football team, but everyone loves a good underdog story. This was the first Super Bowl the Chiefs won in 50 years! That is something worth celebrating.

March – The Cares Act was signed

Despite the rifts between Democrats & Republicans, when our country was in need, these two groups came together to sign a document that provided relief to millions of Americans and businesses who were suffering at the beginning of the pandemic.

April – Spotify launched Daily Wellness playlists

In addition to many other mental health resources that became available, Spotify launched its Daily Wellness playlist. This simple daily collection of songs and podcasts gave people peace of mind and a simple way to engage in self-care.

May – SpaceX launched 2 astronauts into space

Elon Musk reminded us just how resilient and tenacious the human race is when he successfully launched two astronauts into space…and brought them home safely.

June – NASA inaugurated the Jackson Headquarters

NASA named its headquarters in Washington, D.C. the Jackson Headquarters in honor of Mary W. Jackson, the first Black female engineer to work there. 2020 was a year for Black voices to be heard and, hopefully, for change to have begun.

July – A COVID-19 vaccine became more promising

In the month of July, deals were made and the first trials of vaccines for the novel coronavirus shows promising results. For the first time, we were able to hope that we would be able to beat this terrible disease soon.

August – Polio officially left Africa

In August, the World Health Organization (WHO) announced that the poliovirus is no longer present in Africa. This means just two countries are still threatened by this disease – Afghanistan and Pakistan.

September – Meals were donated to Hurricane Laura victims

After the devastation of Hurricane Laura in Louisiana, Rikesh Patel, a local McDonald’s owner, initiated the delivery of 10,000 free meals to those in need. it was a true act of generosity, service and kindness amid a catastrophic event.

October – NASA landed a spacecraft on an asteroid for the first time

2020 was quite the year for space exploration events. In October, NASA landed OSIRIS-Rex on an asteroid. It was a mission that took four years of work, and it may lead to new discoveries about the history of our solar system.

November – A record-number of Americans voted the first-ever female Vice President into office

No matter how you feel about the results of the 2020 presidential election, there has to be a bit of pride for the number of Americans who took on the responsibility to be a part of our democracy and make their voices heard. In addition to this, the first female vice president in history was elected, which is groundbreaking to say the least.

December – The first COVID-19 vaccine dose was administered

After a year of chaos and fear, the first vaccine dose for the pandemic that seemed to characterize 2020 was given. As we look forward now to 2021, we are now able to have hope that life will return to some semblance of normal in the near future.

This list is by no means meant to diminish all of the tragedy that occurred in 2020. But, perhaps by remembering the few good events that did happen will remind us how very much we have to be grateful for, even when life is threatening to make us forget. For me, 2020 was a reminder of just how blessed I am, and it was confirmation that most people are dedicated to helping one another. This past year, I saw more selflessness, compassion and generosity than I have in a long time, and that alone gave me hope for a brighter future.

Health, Lifestyle, My Life

The skincare regimen I use for PCOS

September 15, 2020 No Comments

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you purchase a product after clicking the associated link, I will earn a small commission off of that purchase.

Acne is something I have struggled since I hit puberty. I was always told it was something that would go away with adulthood, but thanks to a PCOS diagnosis, the acne seems to be here to stay.

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) is a common women’s hormonal disorder characterized by the Mayo Clinic as “infrequent or prolonged menstrual periods or excess male (androgen) levels.” According to Healthline, common symptoms of PCOS include irregular periods, heavy bleeding, hair growth, acne, weight gain, male-pattern baldness, darkening of the skin, and headaches.

One of the most visible symptoms of PCOS is acne. Because of the excess androgen levels, women with PCOS tend to have more trouble with skin health. Personally, I have tried multiple over-the-counter and prescription acne treatments, and none of them ever worked for me. The reason for this is because the only way to really solve the acne problem is to correct the hormone levels, which is easier said than done. After trying numerous birth control medications, I decided to do a little research to find a skincare regimen that would help me to at least manage my acne so breakouts became less severe.

As stated above, the skincare regimen below has not solved the problem, but when I follow it, breakouts occur less frequently. My skin looks the most beautiful it has in years. The best part about this regimen is it has erased many of the scars I had on my face from years of struggling with acne. For the first time in nearly a decade, I feel comfortable walking into public without having makeup on my face. I cannot even express how freeing that is.

If you struggle with PCOS, or if you are just looking for a more natural acne treatment regimen, I hope you find these products helpful. Please feel free to comment below if you have any questions regarding the products I have suggested, or if you have found a regimen that works for you! The more we share about PCOS and how we have found ways to cope with the symptoms, the more we empower the women around us to take charge of their health and to feel beautiful.

1. Boscia Detoxifying Black Cleanser

This charcoal cleanser is the first step in my face cleansing regimen. It detoxifies my skin and gets rid of all the dirt in my pores. In addition to my nightly routine, I often use this cleanser after my morning workout because my face instantly brightens after using it. I also love how the cleanser heats up as I use it – every time I wash my face with this product, it feels like an expensive spa treatment.

2. HydroPeptide Purifying Cleanser

After detoxifying my face, I use the HydroPeptide Purifying Anti-Wrinkle and Clarifying Cleanser to achieve a deep clean. This cleanser also helps get rid of those pesky acne scars.

3. Thayers Facial Toner

For a toner, I use Thayers Rose Petal Witch Hazel and Aloe Vera Formula Toner. It’s an alcohol-free, gentle toner made with natural ingredients. While I am cleaning my face, I like to know that I am not putting a lot of chemicals into my pores. This product also helps bring a little more moisture into my skin.

4. Tree of Life Retinol Serum

To really work at those scars and to heal my damaged skin, I use this retinol serum. It is made with natural ingredients and has been designed to be used by all skin types. I can honestly say this product has been a life-changer for me – it is the reason I finally feel confident in my skin.

5. Differin Gel

This is one of those over-the-counter acne treatments that is made to get the job done. Differin Gel is a little harsh, so I don’t recommend putting it everywhere on your face; instead, rub a small amount into your skin solely where you are currently having a breakout. This gel often makes my breakouts disappear by the following morning.

6. Neutrogena Oil-Free Moisturizer for Sensitive Skin

A lot of these products, including the charcoal cleanser, retinol serum, and Differin gel, can cause dry skin. As someone who already struggles with skin dryness, I knew lotion had to be a part of my regimen. I use Neutrogena’s oil-free moisturizer because it doesn’t clog my pores and it’s fragrance free. I strongly recommend finishing this facial regimen with lotion even if you aren’t prone to dry skin – even going a day or two without this step can cause my entire face to become red and irritated. But when I do use the lotion, my skin has never looked healthier.

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