The holidays are a busy time of year. Between shopping for gifts, holiday parties, preparing for the end of the year, and keeping up with our regular commitments, it can be difficult to find little pockets of serenity amidst the chaos. But the holidays are also a beautiful time of warmth and reflection. It is a time to nurture our wellness, to spend time with loved ones, and to recall traditions that give us a sense of home.
This holiday season, find balance and tranquility amidst the busyness with these six tips to help you practice mindfulness and focus on the beauty of the present moment.
Take a few moments each day to focus on your breath. You can have this at a regularly scheduled time or just when you feel your stress levels rising. Take a deep inhale through your nose, hold for a few seconds, and then exhale through your nose or mouth. Repeat a few rounds of this, allowing your eyes to gently close if you are in a safe space to do so, and/or focus on your surroundings: What can you see, hear, smell, taste and touch? Bringing our awareness to our five senses helps to ground us in the present moment. Paired with mindful breathing, it can help calm our minds and help us come back to what is happening now, instead of focusing on what has happened or will occur.
Saying “no” can be challenging, especially to activities we feel obligated to attend or to people we know are expecting us to show up, but it is a right you reserve. You are the only person who can protect your peace. And saying “no” to some events and activities may mean you are able to be more invested in the activities that mean more to you and be more present with the people who matter most. Protect your time, and make sure you are leaving enough space to take care of yourself. Just because there is a block of free time on the calendar does not mean it should be filled with another event or activity.
There are plenty of delicious holiday treats around this time of year. First, know that you can eat whatever you please. Food is fuel — there are more nutrient dense foods and less nutrient dense foods, but all of it is food. As long as we are making an effort for the majority of our diets to be more nutrient dense, treats can be a regular and healthy part of our nutritional intake. And at this time of year, food can take on an extra special meaning for us. The holidays just don’t seem the same if I do not get to enjoy a gingerbread cookie or a glass of eggnog.
Enjoy your food and the memories that come with it, but when you do so, enjoy it mindfully. Engage your five senses again — what can you see, taste, feel, smell, and hear? Pay attention to your surroundings as you enjoy these treats. Appreciate the warm glow from your Christmas tree or the sounds of laughter from the party. Eating mindfully will not only help you truly enjoy these treats, but it will help curb any overindulgence that can lead to painful inflammation and stomach discomfort later.
5. Create Rituals for Relaxation
Create space in your calendar for rest, and spend this time taking care of you. Try meditation, yoga and gentle stretching, or sipping some herbal tea with a good book. Engage in one of your favorite hobbies, or try a new holiday-themed craft. Establishing these rituals before bedtime can also help create a routine that signals to your body that it is time to rest. This will help you fall asleep faster and aid your mind and body in better recovery, so you can enjoy all the holiday festivities even more.
Me hiking in Frederick, MD
6. Connect with Nature
We are a part of nature, and nature is a part of us. We are meant to spend time outdoors in the fresh air, but as the weather cools, many of us find ourselves cooped up inside more than usual. Bundle up and get back out there! Enjoy a walk, engage in grounding activities, or simply sit outside with a hot drink.
Many of us also struggle with Vitamin D deficiencies in the winter because of the lack of sunlight, which can lead to feelings of sadness and depression. If you can, spend time outdoors during hours when there is sunshine, or invest in a sun lamp to help bring the sunshine with you indoors.
The holiday season is a beautiful time of connection and celebration. With these six tips, I hope you are able to find moments of rest within the busyness and more spaces for serenity and joy. I wish you a very healthy and happy holiday season and a serene beginning to your new year.
50. Make a scrapbook filled with photos from all your spring adventures!
51. Bonus for you: Here is a spring playlist to listen to while you complete all your favorite activities. Listen on Spotify.
What is your favorite spring activity? Share with me in the comments below!
I would love to see your spring adventures! Please share photos to your Instagram or TikTok & tag me @TylerVLayne with the hashtag #SpringBucketList2023
I can’t believe how fast 2022 flew by! And in all that busyness, I can’t thank all of you enough for your support of my blog. Time is precious & there are many writers out there, so I am honored that you have chosen to spend some of your cherished reading time with me.
To reflect back on the past year, I wanted to share my top 10 blog posts, ranked by popularity. Take a stroll with me down memory lane, maybe read one you missed, and leave me a comment below on which blog post was your favorite!
This was such a fun trip! My mom & I went on a girl’s trip to Assateague Island, which, despite living in Maryland my entire life, I had never been to! You can read about our adventures & get ideas for your next trip here.
4. Pittsburgh Weekend Trip: Mental Health, Music & the Monongahela Incline
Joseph surprised me for my birthday with tickets to go see Imagine Dragons in Pittsburgh! It was a bucket list goal of mine & a dream come true. And, of course, we made a weekend trip of it. You can read about our adventures & get ideas to plan your next trip to this historic city here.
5. 10 Helpful Tips for Coping with Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)
If you find you are struggling with feelings of sadness this season, give this blog post a read for 10 tips that may help you improve your mental health.
6. Why I’m Running the New York City Marathon
Running the New York City Marathon was a bucket list dream for me, & I got to do it alongside my team members at Charm City Run. Read about my running journey & what inspired me to run this race here.
Do you struggle with staying motivated, procrastination or finishing tasks? Maybe you’re feeling burnt out from a busy work schedule or overwhelmed with out-of-work responsibilities. Here are 7 simple tips to help increase your productivity, so you can spend your free time doing the things you actually want to do.
9. North Carolina Weekend Trip: Hiking, Zip Lining & Delicious BBQ
I am blessed to be a woman who studies energy, especially the energy of love.
We are the creators of our own existence through our intent and our energy. But how often are we taking the time to look at our experiences and break them down into the energy of our creation, especially when it comes to love?
Love does not just refer to romantic love, but the energy of love for all things. Most are familiar with 1 Corinthians 13: “Love is patient, love is kind….” Break that down into energy. Are you approaching that which you love – whether it be a parent, a child, a sibling, a romantic partner, your career, your home, or yourself – with the energy of kindness and the energy of patience?
I was recently reading a book, The Path of Empowerment by Barbara Marciniak, and it talked about how if something in your life is not going according to plan, look at it, take responsibility for it, and then begin again. I had a situation about a week ago that deeply hurt and angered me. Through closer contemplation, I realized that I had not been in the energy that what I wanted mattered in my relationship with the person who upset me. I had allowed this person to continually think that what they wanted mattered more.
To begin again, I revisited 1 Corinthians 13: “Love does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” How many of us can say that we truly function in life this way? And again, this is not just with love of others, but includes love of self. Is there something you are beating yourself up about in regard to choices you may have made in the past? Past words spoken? Let it go. Love keeps no record of wrongs and that includes holding onto things of the past you regret or wish you had done different. There is no wrong turn – all of it lead us to this moment right here today and you are exactly where you are supposed to be. There are so many beautiful energies in the world, and they are all yours to be experienced.
As you move into 2023 think about what you want the year to feel like. What energy do you wish to experience? Know that you are capable of creating it and worthy of all of it.
Would you like to learn more about Energy Coaching? Visit our website here.
Are you interested in writing a guest blog post for my blog? Contact me at TylerVLayne@gmail.com
If you’re feeling a little stumped as to what your New Year’s resolutions should be in 2023, I have 23 suggestions that will positively impact your mental & physical health.
In fact, even if you already have your resolutions made, these 23 healthy habits are ones that anyone can incorporate into their life. They focus on your mental & physical wellbeing, as well as the wellbeing of those around you. Some of the habits will challenge you to step outside your comfort zone, while others will encourage you to stay safe & cozy inside.
Adopt a few habits that resonate most with you, or make 2023 the year of radical change in your life & adopt them all. By the end of the year, you may find your lifestyle has changed for the better, your mindset is one of abundance & gratitude, & your health is the best it’s ever been.
We are all guilty of it, myself included. In fact, this is my main resolution for 2022 – be more intentional with my time. It’s too easy to work until we feel burnt out, & then spend an hour or two scrolling through social media or bingeing TV shows on Netflix. The activities may seem restful, but I never feel filled after doing them. In fact, I feel just as tired as ever & less productive.
This is the year I decided that would change. I bought some colorful pens & a planner with which I could plan every hour of my day. With it, I schedule everything: Work, play, house chores, & more. With scheduled time every day for self-care, I always know when the next rest period is coming. That makes my hours of work more productive, & my self-care time much more meaningful. I’m actually sitting down to read a book or rolling out my yoga mat to stretch! House chores are getting done, & I can spend date night focused on my husband instead of thinking about what I have to get done the next day.
You don’t have to plan every hour of your day to be intentional with your time. Setting timers on apps, making to-do lists, & focusing on the present moment are all great ways to bring more intentionality & productivity to your day.
As a nutrition coach, I know that food has many meanings for us. It can be source of comfort or stress. Certain foods can bring back warm, comforting memories, & there are certain dishes that are traditional to eat at various family gatherings & holidays. But first & foremost, food is fuel. It is what gives us energy & makes our brains & bodies work.
When we eat to fuel our bodies, we are more likely to focus on nourishment rather than restriction, & we are more likely to eat healthier options. There is nothing wrong with indulging in a treat every once in a while, but when you eat to fuel your body, you are more likely to eat whole food sources throughout your daily life. And in order for your brain & body to work at peak performance, they must be fueled adequately, which means no more restrictive dieting or starvation. Good food, & lots of it, is what your body needs.
This is something almost all of us can improve on. Aim for at least eight cups of water a day (if you can drink more, even better!). Our bodies need water for proper organ function, gut health, brain function, & more.
4. Spend more time outdoors
Me running in some snow flurries
The sun has lots of benefits for our mental & physical health, including an increase in serotonin (one of our “happy hormones”), an increase in Vitamin D, & stronger bones. Aim to get at least 15 minutes of sunlight a day. You can go for a walk, sit outdoors at a restaurant, or even just enjoy a cup of coffee on your porch.
Too often, I see people exercising as a form of punishment or as a trade-off for food (because they burned this many calories, now they can eat these many calories). Exercise is meant to make us feel better. It strengthens our muscles & bones, releases serotonin, improves our sleep, improves gut health, gives us an energy boost, & more! It is not meant to be a punishment for indulging in a special treat, or to be a required activity before eating.
Move your body in loving ways. Find types of exercise that you enjoy, & do them because they make you feel good. When your body is sore, make time to stretch your tired muscles. It’s a wonderful feeling to discover how far you have progressed in an exercise regimen & to feel yourself getting stronger & healthier. Make it a regular self-care habit in your life, & appreciate your body for all that it does.
6. Make time for self-care
Me meditating by the water
Whether it be exercise, reading, taking hot baths, or spending time doing a hobby, it is important to regularly engage in self-care. Schedule in that time with yourself, & make it as much of a priority as you would a meeting with your boss. Do activities you know you love, or try something new! The most important part is that you are taking time out of your day to take care of your mind, body, and/or spirit. The activity is up to you!
7. Spend time with people you love
Me with my family on Father’s Day
Do something positive for your mental health & for the mental health of your loved ones by spending time with them. Studies show spending time with family & friends can help improve your self-confidence & self-worth, help you cope with difficult stressors, & can give you a greater sense of purpose. Even better, spending time with those we love decreases stress, which, in turn, means less inflammation in the body.
Whether it’s in person or over the phone, make time regularly in your schedule to talk to & spend time with the people that matter most in your life.
8. Become fiscally fit
Money is a huge stressor for many people. Debt looms over the heads of college students, new home owners, & anyone who has ever missed a credit card payment, & trying to pay off that debt while paying other bills, buying food, & trying to enjoy life can be a major stressor.
Take time this year to become more fiscally fit. Find a budget that works for you & stick to it. If you need help, there are lots of books & online programs available. Find one that works best for you. Simply having the knowledge of how much money you have & where it is allocated can be an enormous relief. Once you know what you can afford to spend, it becomes less stressful to be spending. And creating a savings account that you regularly add to can be a great self-confidence boost & a source of comfort for the future.
You don’t have to go far to reap the benefits of traveling. Even just going on a road trip to a nearby state or a day trip around your own city is a great place to start. Make an itinerary, or just see where the wind takes you! Explore, try new foods, meet someone new – make it a trip you will never forget, even if it’s just a short walk from your own neighborhood.
10. Try a new hobby
Baking mini pumpkin pies for Thanksgiving
There are so many things to try in this life! Kayaking, painting, baton twirling – the list is endless! Find something new that you have always wanted to try & give it a shot! Whether it ends in you mastering the skill, or in a heap on the floor laughing at yourself, it’s a great experience to step outside your comfort zone & try something new.
11. Live more sustainably
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As I always say, we only have two homes – our bodies & the earth. We have to take care of both of them.
Whether it’s a huge change like biking to work each day, or a smaller change like remembering to turn off the light whenever you leave the room, you are making a difference in the sustainability of our planet. And a lot of the changes you can make are healthier for you as well! Biking to work means increased physical fitness, better cardiovascular health, & more time spent in sunlight. Turning off the lights means a decreased energy bill, which is a fiscally fit lifestyle change. Natural cleaners are great for the environment & for reducing the toxins we breathe, & eating more vegetables & fruits means fewer animal products eaten, which is healthier for you & for reducing carbon emissions.
It can be overwhelming to try to live a completely sustainable lifestyle, so instead, pick at least one sustainable living habit & make it a regular practice in your daily life.
Brighten someone else’s day (& your own day as well) by doing random acts of kindness! It can be huge gestures like paying for someone’s meal at a restaurant, or smaller things like holding the door open for someone. The idea behind it is that it goes without notice – don’t pull attention to yourself or take credit for what you have done. And, if someone does insist on thanking you, tell them to pay it forward! Keep the kindness train moving!
We all need a little encouragement. Give out compliments as if you have too many to hold. Let people know what you like about them! You get bonus points if you can move past appearance. Compliment someone’s work ethic, their positive attitude, or how they parent their kids. It can be a huge boost to someone’s self-confidence, & their smile will be infectious – you will end up smiling, too!
If you can, read lots of books. Whether it’s to learn something new or to escape into another world, books are a great way to engage in self-care. Additionally, reading has been shown to strengthen our brains, increase empathy, reduce stress, & improve our memory retention. Find a book in a subject that interests you or a story that makes you want to keep turning the pages & get reading!
The environment we live in has a direct impact on our physical & mental wellbeing. Just keeping our desk clean can greatly reduce stress & improve our productivity. Even more than this, keeping a clean home means fewer germs & reduced stress in the space that is supposed to give us rest.
If you want to go above & beyond, get a plant! Despite the climate-controlled buildings we have been living in for so long, humans used to live in nature, & our minds & bodies still reap benefits from having nature in our living quarters.
I am absolutely fascinated by biophilic design, which connects people with nature within our buildings & communities. People have done some really amazing architectural feats to achieve this balance between architecture & nature, but simply bringing some plants into your home can have some incredible health benefits, including reduced stress & air purification.
Gratitude transforms our mindset from one of scarcity to abundance. It turns what we have into enough.
Ending each day by writing down a few things you are grateful for can have enormous benefits for your mental health, including reduced stress, better emotional regulation, & increased resilience. The more specific you are in the things you write, the more effective this practice will be.
Just like we should be handing out compliments regularly to the people we are with, we should also be sharing them with ourselves. How long would you stay in a relationship with someone who spoke to you the way that you do? Would it be a healthy, long marriage, or would you not even make it past the first date?
Use kind words. When things go wrong, have grace for yourself. Encourage yourself & take time each day to build yourself up, not tear yourself down. It seems simple, but speaking more positively to ourselves can radically transform our lives. Our mindset is in control of how we perceive the world & ourselves, & when we have a more positive outlook of our life situation & an appreciation for who we are, we can gain increased self-confidence, increased self-worth, & perhaps even a better understanding of what purpose we may play in this world.
Social media can be a source of information & connection, but it can also be draining & stressful. Take some time to go through the accounts that you are following & unfriend the ones that are no longer adding value to your life or, even worse, are contributing to any toxic thoughts or habits you may be engaging in. Fill your feed with positivity & useful information that helps you engage in healthier habits. And when you do interact, consider setting a time limit. Time slips away when we are scrolling through our feeds, & that can be a huge detriment to our productivity & quality of life.
I don’t necessarily mean face your darkest fears, but do something this year that makes you step outside of your comfort zone. Whether that’s standing up for yourself at work or telling a friend how much they mean to you, doing something that makes us cringe can increase our self-confidence & self-worth. Go on a trip, try a new food, sign up for a talent show – even if it doesn’t go as planned, you can still look back with pride knowing that you faced your fear.
Regular routines can help us de-stress & feel motivated for our days. Have a regular morning routine that excites you to get out of bed in the morning can help you feel refreshed & energized for your day. You can spend time journaling, reading, washing your face, exercising, making a fancy breakfast – there are so many possibilities. And at night, engage in activities that help you relax & rewind from the day. Journal about what you’re grateful for, wash the day off your face, & spend time reading or engaging in a quiet activity away from screens. It will improve your sleep, reduce stress, & help you feel more refreshed the next morning.
Too often, we spend the moments other people are talking to think about what we want to say next instead of really listening to what they are saying. Make listening a priority this year.
When I was little, I was always told the phrase, “You have two ears & one mouth, & they should be used in that proportion.” I find this holds up in almost every situation in my life. Even when I feel I have something meaningful to say, or when I am debating about an important topic, I find whatever point I wanted to make or thought I wanted to share can always wait. And when I take the time to listen to the person I am talking with, I often find we are more aligned in our thoughts than we realize. Coming to a conclusion, having empathy for one another, & building a healthy relationship all become more more probable when I take the time to listen to what someone is saying.
Engaging in a regular mindfulness practice has numerous benefits. From lowering stress to decreased blood pressure, mindfulness exercises like meditation, mindful walking & yoga can help increase our quality of life. This year, your resolution can be to set aside regular time in your day – when you first wake up, right before you go to bed, or whenever you are feeling stressed – to take time to be present & mindful.
The best habit I can ever recommend to anyone is to have regular check-ins with yourself. Make time each morning to think about how you are feeling, & based on that information, schedule in time that day for what you need. If you are still feeling tired, maybe a little 20-minute nap would be good this afternoon, or maybe a nice hot cup of coffee is a good way to start the day. If you are feeling sore, take some time to stretch. Or, if you’re feeling lonely, make it a point to call someone you love today.
Check-in with yourself at the end of a long week & see how you are feeling. Are you energized by the work & want to be productive this weekend, or do you need some extra time to relax & recharge before Monday comes again?
Scheduling regular check-ins about work, school, exercise programs, relationships, & just general well-being can be immensely helpful in discovering what you actually need in your life to be healthier, mentally, physically & spiritually. Too often we rush through life without actually thinking about how we feel. Sit down with yourself the way you would with a good friend & make time for your inner voice to be heard.
What are your resolutions for 2023? What healthy habits are you adding to your lifestyle? Leave me a comment below!
As I reflect back on the past year, I am reminded of all the good memories, the amazing new places I visited, & the new friends I made. But I am also reminded of the lessons I learned that have made me into who I am today. Some I had to relearn from years before, & some are new life lessons in my 24th year of life.
These 22 lessons are ones that have changed the way I view myself & the world around me, & my hope is to carry them into my next year of life.
Read on for the 22 lessons I learned this year, & leave a lesson you learned in the comments! Let’s all share some of our wisdom from the past year.
1. My emotional health is my responsibility. Boundaries are healthy, even with the people we love.
2. Adult friends are hard to make. It’s easier when you take the initiative to invite people out for a cup of coffee.
3. However, not everyone likes coffee (I know, shocking). It makes it less awkward if you have a second place in mind as a back-up.
4. It’s okay to treat yourself every once in a while. It’s okay to treat yourself every day. It’s okay to treat yourself whenever you feel like it. It’s okay to treat yourself…period.
5. Getting up early to exercise is self-care. Sleeping in a little more is also self-care. Figure out what it is your body needs.
6. My body this year has more curves & less muscle tone than it ever has. It is also my most loved body. It is still strong & nimble, but it has also been given space & time to rest. Your most loved body does not have to look like what other people consider healthy.
7. The people you have the hardest time understanding are the people you should take more time to understand.
8. Introversion & extroversion is a scale. We all need alone time, & we all need time spent with the people we love.
9. Lots of people are opinionated. The goal is not to find people without opinions – it is to find people who are willing to learn & not push their opinions on others. You should try to be this kind of person, too.
10. Compassion & empathy are different, & each one has its place.
11. You are who your younger self needed.
12. But also, it is okay if there are things about you your younger self would not be proud of. You are still growing, & also, your younger self did not know everything.
13. Three of the best things we can give ourselves: Movement, sunlight & water. These can also be called love, light & nourishment.
14. The word “no” does not always have to be followed by “I’m sorry.” Sometimes just “no” is sufficient.
15. You’re welcome is not the only way to respond to “thank you.””My pleasure,” “of course,” or (my favorite) “I love you” are much better choices.
16. It does not matter how slow you go. The miles pass anyway, & the finish line is still there when you reach the end.
17. You know the things you are willing to lose sleep over because they make you so happy & excited? Fill your life with more of those things.
18. Forgive yourself for any unhealthy habits you picked up when you were in survival mode. They helped you make it through to where you are now.
19. But also, just because those habits served you then does not mean they are serving you now. You do not have to keep doing them. Have grace for yourself in the process of letting them go.
20. It is okay if people do not understand why you love your passions. Do them anyway.
21. Dairy is not good for you. Also, I am going to eat dairy until the day I die.
22. It is okay if you look different now than you did going into the pandemic. Believe it or not, it has been a few years. And none of us were prepared for that.
It’s 6:41pm on Wednesday the night before Thanksgiving, and I am in tears. My son is 15 and my step-son is almost 20 and home from college on break. The two of them just left with another friend to go pick up a friend from the airport. Then they are going to go to that kid’s house to spend the night and we will catch up again tomorrow for dinner at my mother’s. In this moment the silence in the house is so loud. Gone are the days of little boys running around my house watching holiday specials and making Christmas lists off the Black Friday commercials. Having children is one of the best and yet hardest things on the heart. I am so grateful they are so close and spending this time together, but I miss them and their craziness just the same. The holidays and the heartstrings do not always play nicely together.
My boyfriend will be over in a bit, and I am grateful for his presence. He is older than I am and has already gone through this kid transition, so he has empathy for my moments. I work off the Buddhist principle “Be Here Now” not “Be There Then,” so I take a breath and try to refocus. One of the quickest ways to adjust your energy is to move into an attitude of gratitude. In this moment everyone I know is in a good space. I am in a good space. For those things, I am grateful.
A big part of navigating the energy of the holidays and being in a space of joy comes back to embracing change. The only constant in life is that it is always changing. So much of navigating change comes from our perception and the story we tell ourselves about what is taking place. Change your words, change your story, change your energy. I think of my boys and the laughter and memories they are creating tonight with their friends, and that makes me smile. My boyfriend texts me that he is leaving his house and will be here soon, and that warms my heart. A girlfriend sends me a text with pictures of a guy she’s out on a second date with that’s going well, and it makes me happy to know she’s having a good time. The loudness of the silence of the house fades away into the hum of the heat kicking on, the rattle of the dryer running in the basement, and the gentle snoring of my three dogs. The phrase from the Christmas carol pops into my head, “Good tidings of comfort and joy.”
Joy is not always a big, in your face, overwhelming feeling of happiness. In this moment, joy is the soft, warm feeling that comes from the comfort of those little things like my snoring dogs, the sounds of my home, and the gratitude of knowing that in this moment, all is well in my world and with the people I love. If the journey to joy is done from the heart, then part of this is recognizing that it is not felt in just one way. It can be big and felt through your whole being, or that small, soft knowing that makes you smile. However it comes, embrace it, bask in it, truly and deeply feel it, knowing you are worthy of all the warmth, love, and peace it brings you.
Join us on Thursday, December 8 at 7:30pm for an online seminar about Finding Joy, not just during the holiday season, but every day of your life. Learn more & sign up here.
Learn more about our new Energy Coach, Julie Kolb, here
by Jolie Kolb
Earlier this week Tyler sent out a list of seminars the Evolve team would be doing during the month of December. As I reviewed it, December 8th we are speaking on finding joy during the holiday season. This sounded like an awesome idea; the only problem was, I was finding it difficult to find joy myself. How am I supposed to help others with something I’m not sure I can accomplish myself?
This time of year is a challenge when it comes to maintaining positive energy. My boyfriend and I had already gotten into an argument about Thanksgiving plans, the bills are due and somehow there needs to be money for holiday shopping, everyone’s stress level is higher as we try to accomplish all the things, and then there are the ever-lingering memories of holidays past and the reminder of how things have changed which tug at the heartstrings. Yet this time of year is to be about the energy of joy. If I was going to speak about it, first I had to find it for myself. So I set out on a journey to find joy.
I started in the most logical place, asking my friends. This led to some interesting discussions about how it has to be in the little things and in things that don’t have anything to do with other people. This seemed like a conundrum since the holidays are supposed to be about friends and family. So now I’m looking for things that have nothing to do with other people, in a season that is about other people. At this point I did the most logical thing I could think of and booked myself a one hour salt float. Perhaps some time alone floating in a pool of salt would give me the clarity that I needed. My energy shifted with excitement as soon as I hit the “confirm” button on my float reservation. The relaxation time would definitely bring me joy.
If you have never floated, basically the way it works is that you get into a giant bathtub filled with salt water that has enough salt in it that you automatically float. The bathtub is in an enclosed pod. The doors close and eventually all the lights go out, although you can turn on lights if you choose. I settled in and began to float, eventually the lights went out and it was pitch black. I lay there for awhile trying to relax my mind. At some point I decided I wanted to turn the lights on, but in the darkness, I could not find the switch. I began feeling my way around the tank, unable to find the door or the switch, panic began to set in. It was completely dark and I couldn’t see anything and I knew that no one could hear me. I continued to frantically feel around the walls looking for the handle to the door. Eventually I found it, realizing that I had gotten turned around so that everything that had been on my left was now on my right. I opened the door and let in some light and found the switch to turn on the lights inside the pod. Settling back down into the water I began to reflect on this experience. I was here to relax and find joy. Why did I feel it necessary to look for a way out? Why when I couldn’t find the light switch could I not just relax knowing that in 50 minutes the lights would come on anyway? Why couldn’t I surrender to the experience without having an exit strategy?
After my float, feeling much more relaxed, I sat down to contemplate this journey to joy. It seems to me that if I am going to find joy this holiday season, and help others to do the same, then it has to be a path led solely by the heart. The minute my head gets into the mix, things go awry and it seems I self-sabotage my own mission. How many times are we our own roadblock to joy? I set the intention to get out of my own way this holiday season and to focus on following my heart on this journey to joy. Easier said than done? I have no doubt. But if there is one thing I have learned on the adventure of self-exploration, there are always lessons to be learned and obstacles to overcome. I am looking forward to taking on this challenge of staying in my heart space as we welcome in the holidays and can’t wait to share what I learn along the way.
Join us on Thursday, December 8 at 7:30pm for an online seminar about Finding Joy, not just during the holiday season, but every day of your life. Learn more & sign up here.
When I was a little girl, my dad used to take me to Solomons Island, MD every Sunday morning to run a mile-long loop around the island. Cold or hot weather, we would dress accordingly and go do our jog together. It ended on an uphill, and I remember my first time running the loop I raced ahead, taking long strides, to reach the top. My dad said I was a natural and predicted I would be a runner for life.
When I was ten years old, I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease. It was an answer after months of searching for the reason for the unbearable pain, bouts of temporary paralysis, unending headaches, and overwhelming fatigue, but it was not the answer for which I would have ever hoped. Over a decade ago, the research we have today on Lyme Disease did not exist. I was given a short bout of antibiotics and told I would be fine. But within six months, my symptoms returned without an explanation. The doctors were nonplussed. I was frustrated. And my running shoes were left laced up in my closet.
It took two years to get an inaccurate diagnosis of Fibromyalgia, which was the only way the doctors could try to explain my unexplainable pain. I was told the pounding of running would never be an option for me. The running shoes needed to stay put away. I dropped out of all sports, had a note to excuse me from gym class, and spent most of my days huddled inside, typing away on my computer. Besides running, my one constant and love in my life has always been writing.
Me with my teammate & friend, Alex, from high school XC
In high school, I began to feel pressure about my body size and appearance. Years of inactivity had not been the best solution for my health. I pulled the running shoes out of my closet, and against the better judgment of my physicians, went out for a run. It was exhilarating the first time I was able to reach a mile. But it was for all the wrong reasons, and the running nearly killed me. The running shoes were returned to their box and shoved in the back of my closet.
Some of my friends remembered me being a good runner, and they needed more teammates on their cross country team. I hated competition – my nagging perfectionism has always been motivation enough for me to perform at my best, so I always thought of finish lines, not as ways to beat others, but as exciting places we should all cross together. But feeling the pressure of my friends, I pulled the running shoes out and laced them once more. My perfectionism carried me to varsity level status. I ran through every nagging pain, every sign that my health could be declining, every little voice in my head that said maybe I needed to rest. My perfectionism was the root of my success, and then it was my downfall. I left the team with stress fractures, new digestive disorders, and a belittled sense of self.
In college, I pulled out the shoes again, but this time I was determined they would not get the best of me. After years of struggling with my health, my only goal was to feel the joy that running used to bring me – I had no thought of distance or speed. And for the first time in a long time, running felt good. It made me feel strong. After my morning run, I felt confident I could handle whatever the day would bring.
Near the end of my college career, I had the opportunity to join a team that was running across the country to raise money for young adults with cancer. I was stronger than I had ever been, and I eagerly signed up. I trained for months. Now with this new goal in mind, I pushed a little harder. My body screamed a little louder. But old habits die hard. I flew out to California, injured and already feeling a little unwell, but unwilling to let such a good opportunity slip away. Unfortunately, the injuries only got worse, and my health followed. I felt misunderstood and unwanted by some of my teammates. I returned to Maryland with shin splints, swollen ankles, a hip riddled with bursitis and tendinitis, and the lowest self-esteem I have ever had in my life. I threw my running shoes back in my closet in tears. I vowed I would never run again.
Me with my 4K for Cancer team on the 4th of July
But as many runners know, there is something special about the sport of running that keeps calling you back time and time again. There is something about that feeling when the sound of your feet pounding on the pavement simply becomes the melody that propels you forward, when you get lost in your thoughts and the beauty of nature around you, and when you forget your legs are moving and it feels as if you are flying.
I wasn’t running any longer, but I still remembered my love for the sport. I got a job at the Charm City Run Annapolis store, where I was taught about the importance of wearing the right shoes, not just any shoes. I learned about proper runner nutrition, something that had never been taught to me in high school when I got smaller and smaller with every run. I learned about the importance of foam rolling, stretching and listening to my body – not every day had to be a running day. And it was even a coworker there that encouraged me to look into a Lyme Disease diagnosis all these years later, something that has given me a better understanding of myself and an appreciation for my body and all it is capable of, even after pushing it much too hard for so many years.
With new shoes, a new sense of self and a running community I felt supported in, I laced up my new shoes, put some Skratch gummies in my new hydration pack filled with electrolytes and water, and went out for a run. I haven’t stopped running since. I ran through the next few years of my life, which happen to have been the best years of my life. I ran my first marathon and dissolved into tears at the finish line. I ran for no reason other than it brings me joy and because I love my body, and that has carried me across more finish lines than I ever thought possible.
Me running with a few of my CCR team members
So, when I was presented with the opportunity to run the New York City Marathon, a bucket list dream that I thought would never come true, it was no question of whether or not I would do it. After years of struggling with my running journey, this is the greatest surprise I could have ever hoped for. And I am honored to be able to do it with the people who helped me become the runner I am now. And after years of being told I couldn’t run, and then running for all the wrong reasons, I am so excited to cross that finish line in New York for all the right ones.
I am not a naturally good runner, but I am a natural runner, simply because there is nothing that feels more natural to me than running. No matter how fast you are, how far you can run, or how long it’s been since your last jog, if you’re someone who has those running shoes sitting in your closet waiting for the next time you lace them up, you’re a runner, too. Take it easy on yourself, and tell that perfectionist part of your brain that so many of us have to take a break for a little while. And the next time you do lace up your shoes, make sure you are doing it for you. Listen to your body and give it a little extra love. You deserve it. Running, like life, feels best when you do it at your own pace, and you should be so proud of how far you have come.
I am excited to announce that I am partnering with One More Day in the month of September to help raise awareness for suicide prevention!
One More Day is a nonprofit organization started by a friend of mine, Amanda Murray. One More Day creates apparel to help raise awareness of suicide & encourage those struggling that it only takes “the strength to see it through to one more day…”
This month, we are offering a Sunshine Box special – buy a personalized box filled with self-care items for you or a loved one, & receive a One More Day shirt to spread awareness to this worthy cause!
Learn more & buy here (this link will open another tab & take you to our secure Evolve website to purchase the box).
