Note: For the privacy of my old friends, names have been changed in this story.
In second grade, you don’t know much about the world. You don’t know who is in office or who you are going to grow up to be. You don’t know what the latest news is or why everyone is obsessed with that celebrity. What you do know are the names of your friends, & you know when they are not speaking to you.
Second grade was already a difficult year. My friend, Maya, had already decided I wasn’t as cool as she thought, & she had moved on to a new girl to hang out with at recess. My crush found out I liked him & had been avoiding me for weeks. And I had spoken out in class about my special ability to see atoms & molecules, only to discover that wasn’t possible & the fuzzy things I saw on the walls were a sight impediment.
But the worst day was when I came to lunch, & my friends refused to talk to me. I didn’t understand what I had done wrong. I implored Avery & Charlotte, the two brunettes across from me, to please speak with me, to tell me how to make things right. But they remained silent as stone. The following day, they didn’t even give me a chance to speak with them. Instead, they sat at another table with Maya & her new clique, & I was left alone.
Hot tears burned my eyes as I gulped down the sob in my throat. I didn’t understand. I thought I had finally made some real friends. I had spent nearly my first three years of elementary school friendless, but Avery had been the girl to reach out to me one lonely day at recess & spark a friendship that I thought would last forever. Charlotte had been introduced to me not long after, & the three of us, I thought, were inseparable. Even when Maya had decided I was no longer worth her time & had abandoned me to hang out with Aria, Avery & Charlotte had remained by my side. But now, I was alone once again, & it felt even worse than before.
Friday evening, I came home from school with tears streaming down my face. I sat at my dining room table & asked my mother what I had done wrong. She said she was confused because Avery & Charlotte had planned to come over to play that afternoon. When their mothers’ cars pulled into the driveway, my mother told me not to talk about what had happened.
“Just play with Avery & Charlotte as if everything is fine,” my mother said. “Maybe they will forget about whatever they were upset about, & you can all be friends again.”
When Avery & Charlotte came inside, they were strangely silent & shifty. I asked if they wanted to go to the playhouse outside, & they agreed quietly. Together, we trudged down the steep hill in my backyard to the bright yellow & purple playhouse. Just before we reached the structure, I heard Avery & Charlotte stop walking. I froze, unsure if they would follow me inside or not. I could hear them whispering amongst themselves, & I felt myself grow cold, wondering if they were making fun of me.
“Tyler,” Avery called.
“Yeah?” I turned & immediately they lunged at me, their hands in the air, large grins on their faces.
“Surprise,” they shouted. I gaped at them, confused.
“What,” I asked.
“Happy birthday,” they exclaimed. I stared, still confused, & then slowly a smile grew across my face.
“You threw me a surprise party,” I asked, bewildered.
“Yeah, come on!” Avery said. The two of them grabbed my hands & dragged me inside to where my mother had decorated the house with banners & balloons.
“We’re sorry we didn’t talk to you this week,” Avery said. “We were so excited! We were worried we would let the surprise slip.”
“We knew your birthday was this weekend, & we wanted to surprise you,” Charlotte said.
In second grade, you don’t know what the latest advances in medicine are, or where you are going to go to college. You also don’t know the proper etiquette for throwing a surprise party. But you do know who your true friends are, & you know just how special it is to have people who want to make you feel loved.
If you’re feeling a little blue this month, you may be one of the estimated 10 million Americans that struggle with seasonal affective disorder (SAD).
SAD is a type of seasonal depression that affects 10-20% of Americans every year. The exact cause for SAD is not known, but it is associated with the reduced amount of sunlight, which lowers our serotonin production, increases our production of melatonin, & messes with our natural circadian rhythms, altogether leaving patients feeling drowsy, less happy, & even disoriented.
Accordingly, if there’s less sunlight, that means there are more hours of darkness, which creates an increase in the hormone melatonin. Melatonin is the hormone that makes us feel tired at night & helps us fall asleep. The excess amount of melatonin produced in the winter can make us feel more tired & lead to lower energy levels throughout our day.
This change in the amount of daylight also messes with our natural circadian rhythms. When we sleep at different hours of the day than normal or get more or less sleep than our bodies naturally desire, it can lead to feelings of grogginess & disorientation. It can also negatively affect our sleep quality, which also leads to lower energy levels throughout the day.
If you believe you are struggling with SAD or another form of seasonal depression, here are 10 holistic strategies for fighting off the winter blues & taking care of your mental health this season.
This is one of the most important coping mechanisms for SAD. As stated above, SAD is associated with the reduced amount of sunlight, so a reasonable treatment is to increase your daily dose of the sun’s rays. Even just 15 minutes spent in direct sunlight can have enormous benefits on your mental health. Going for a walk or just sitting on your porch drinking coffee & soaking in the sun’s rays can increase your levels of serotonin & vitamin D, leading to increased levels of energy & feelings of happiness.
If you are unable to spend more time in the sun, consider purchasing a sun lamp. These lamps imitate the sun’s rays, & spending time basking in their glow can have similar benefits as spending time outdoors.
2. Exercise regularly
Me on a run
One of the causes of SAD is decreased levels of serotonin. Exercise naturally boosts our serotonin levels as well as the levels of our endorphins & other “happy” hormones. Aim to exercise for at least 30 minutes a day. Rhythmic, cardiovascular activities are linked to higher releases of serotonin & endorphins, so activities like running & walking, which can also be done outdoors in the sunlight, can have enormous benefits. However, any type of exercise, including dance, weight lifting, swimming, & more will boost your serotonin production.
Feelings of loneliness can contribute to depression & lowered self-esteem. On the contrary, studies show spending time with our loved ones can boost our self-esteem, self-worth & lower our stress levels. Make time in your schedule to spend with loved ones. Even if you can’t meet in person, a phone call with a friend can have enormous benefits for your mental health & the mental health of your loved one.
4. Eat for your mood
Citrus Shrimp – find the recipe on my Instagram page here
To help your mood, incorporate more omega-3 fatty acids in your diet. Studies show increasing your consumption of omega-3 fatty acids, which can be found in fish, nuts & seeds, & plant oils, can lessen the symptoms of various mood disorders, including depression.
Additionally, increasing your consumption of Vitamin B12 & Vitamin D can improve your mood as well. Vitamin B12 is not produced naturally in our bodies, so it must be consumed through diet. A deficiency of Vitamin B12 is associated with fatigue & mood disturbances. Most people do not need supplementation of Vitamin B12, but increasing this vitamin naturally in your diet can help improve your mood. Vitamin B12 is found in animal products, such as meats, cheeses & eggs. You can also find it in fortified foods such as cereals.
We get much of our natural Vitamin D consumption from the sun, so we are often deficient in this vitamin in the winter. Vitamin D supplements are available, & you can consume the vitamin naturally by eating tuna fish, salmon, egg yolks, & cereals, milks & orange juice fortified with Vitamin D.
Many people who struggle with SAD feel higher levels of stress. Limiting the stressors in your life can improve symptoms of SAD.
For stressors you cannot eliminate, developing coping mechanisms to deal with them can be helpful. Make time for activities you enjoy, & make sure you give yourself breaks when you are doing stressful activities. If needed, seek our professional counseling to help you learn emotional regulation skills & different coping mechanisms to deal with life stressors.
One symptom of SAD that leads to increased feelings of depression & fatigue is the disrupted sleep schedule. The decrease of serotonin, increase of melatonin, & disrupted circadian rhythm all lead to increased drowsiness & decreased energy.
Setting a regular sleep schedule can help with these symptoms. Set a time to wake up & fall asleep each day, & stick to it as closely as you can, no matter how your schedule varies. Before bed, make sure you have a “wind down” hour, when you put away the screens & engage in self-care to relax your mind.
If you still feel you are struggling because of the longer hours of darkness, consider investing in a Dawn Simulator. These are alarm clocks that simulate natural light to ease you into waking in the morning. I personally own one of these clocks because I wake up before the sun for much of the year & it has been a game-changer in my morning energy levels.
SAD has been associated with increased risk for drug & alcohol abuse. Depression can increase the temptation for using alcohol as a coping mechanism, but alcohol actually makes depression worse. The result is an increased dependency for this substance but no benefits for your mental health.
If you find yourself drinking more, consider reaching out to a professional counselor for assistance.
Journaling can help us process our feelings & emotions. Studies show journaling can lead to reduced feelings of stress & anxiety. Additionally, keeping a gratitude journal can increase our self-esteem & lower stress levels. Take time each evening to journal about your thoughts & feelings & write down a few things that you are grateful for. The more specific you are with what you write, the more effective this practice will be.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a mental health treatment that teaches techniques & tools to help you change your thinking & improve your mood. CBT can provide you with coping mechanisms that can be used, not just this season, but throughout your life. A study by the American Journal of Psychiatry found that when patients used light therapy or CBT alone, they had similar positive effects. However, one year later, the group that used CBT was experiencing fewer recurrences of SAD & less severe symptoms than the group that only used light therapy.
You can read books on CBT, but I highly recommend seeking a medical professional to help you learn the initial techniques & treatment.
When our mental health is struggling, it is easy to believe we are the only ones feeling this way. This can lead to increased feelings of isolation, & even worse, make you feel that you cannot share about your emotions & struggles.
If you are struggling with SAD, know first & foremost that you are not alone. As stated above, 10-20% of Americans struggle with SAD, & even more than that report milder symptoms of depression during this time of year. Additionally, depression itself is one of the most common mental health disorders, affecting an estimated 5% of the global population.
Talking to someone about the way you are feeling can help you cope with the stressors in your life, & discovering that someone else is also struggling may help you feel less alone & lead to increased feelings of self-worth. Seeking help from a medical professional can also be a great first step in managing your depressive symptoms. Your mental health is a priority, & it should be treated as such.
The winter may seem long, but there is always the bright ending of spring at the end. Take care of yourself this season, have grace for yourself during your mental health journey, & always remember that you are not alone.
If you’re feeling a little stumped as to what your New Year’s resolutions should be in 2022, I have 22 suggestions that will positively impact your mental & physical health.
In fact, even if you already have your resolutions made, these 22 healthy habits are ones that anyone can incorporate into their life. They focus on your mental & physical wellbeing, as well as the wellbeing of those around you. Some of the habits will challenge you to step outside your comfort zone, while others will encourage you to stay safe & cozy inside.
Adopt a few habits that resonate most with you, or make 2022 the year of radical change in your life & adopt them all. By the end of the year, you may find your lifestyle has changed for the better, your mindset is one of abundance & gratitude, & your health is the best it’s ever been.
We are all guilty of it, myself included. In fact, this is my main resolution for 2022 – be more intentional with my time. It’s too easy to work until we feel burnt out, & then spend an hour or two scrolling through social media or bingeing TV shows on Netflix. The activities may seem restful, but I never feel filled after doing them. In fact, I feel just as tired as ever & less productive.
This is the year I decided that would change. I bought some colorful pens & a planner with which I could plan every hour of my day. With it, I schedule everything: Work, play, house chores, & more. With scheduled time every day for self-care, I always know when the next rest period is coming. That makes my hours of work more productive, & my self-care time much more meaningful. I’m actually sitting down to read a book or rolling out my yoga mat to stretch! House chores are getting done, & I can spend date night focused on my husband instead of thinking about what I have to get done the next day.
You don’t have to plan every hour of your day to be intentional with your time. Setting timers on apps, making to-do lists, & focusing on the present moment are all great ways to bring more intentionality & productivity to your day.
2. Fuel your body
Harvest Spinach Salad – you can find the recipe here
As a nutrition coach, I know that food has many meanings for us. It can be source of comfort or stress. Certain foods can bring back warm, comforting memories, & there are certain dishes that are traditional to eat at various family gatherings & holidays. But first & foremost, food is fuel. It is what gives us energy & makes our brains & bodies work.
When we eat to fuel our bodies, we are more likely to focus on nourishment rather than restriction, & we are more likely to eat healthier options. There is nothing wrong with indulging in a treat every once in a while, but when you eat to fuel your body, you are more likely to eat whole food sources throughout your daily life. And in order for your brain & body to work at peak performance, they must be fueled adequately, which means no more restrictive dieting or starvation. Good food, & lots of it, is what your body needs.
This is something almost all of us can improve on. Aim for at least eight cups of water a day (if you can drink more, even better!). Our bodies need water for proper organ function, gut health, brain function, & more.
The sun has lots of benefits for our mental & physical health, including an increase in serotonin (one of our “happy hormones”), an increase in Vitamin D, & stronger bones. Aim to get at least 15 minutes of sunlight a day. You can go for a walk, sit outdoors at a restaurant, or even just enjoy a cup of coffee on your porch.
5. Move your body in loving ways
Me doing yoga
Too often, I see people exercising as a form of punishment or as a trade-off for food (because they burned this many calories, now they can eat these many calories). Exercise is meant to make us feel better. It strengthens our muscles & bones, releases serotonin, improves our sleep, improves gut health, gives us an energy boost, & more! It is not meant to be a punishment for indulging in a special treat, or to be a required activity before eating.
Move your body in loving ways. Find types of exercise that you enjoy, & do them because they make you feel good. When your body is sore, make time to stretch your tired muscles. It’s a wonderful feeling to discover how far you have progressed in an exercise regimen & to feel yourself getting stronger & healthier. Make it a regular self-care habit in your life, & appreciate your body for all that it does.
6. Make time for self-care
Me meditating
Whether it be exercise, reading, taking hot baths, or spending time doing a hobby, it is important to regularly engage in self-care. Schedule in that time with yourself, & make it as much of a priority as you would a meeting with your boss. Do activities you know you love, or try something new! The most important part is that you are taking time out of your day to take care of your mind, body, and/or spirit. The activity is up to you!
Do something positive for your mental health & for the mental health of your loved ones by spending time with them. Studies show spending time with family & friends can help improve your self-confidence & self-worth, help you cope with difficult stressors, & can give you a greater sense of purpose. Even better, spending time with those we love decreases stress, which, in turn, means less inflammation in the body.
Whether it’s in person or over the phone, make time regularly in your schedule to talk to & spend time with the people that matter most in your life.
Money is a huge stressor for many people. Debt looms over the heads of college students, new home owners, & anyone who has ever missed a credit card payment, & trying to pay off that debt while paying other bills, buying food, & trying to enjoy life can be a major stressor.
Take time this year to become more fiscally fit. Find a budget that works for you & stick to it. If you need help, there are lots of books & online programs available. Find one that works best for you. Simply having the knowledge of how much money you have & where it is allocated can be an enormous relief. Once you know what you can afford to spend, it becomes less stressful to be spending. And creating a savings account that you regularly add to can be a great self-confidence boost & a source of comfort for the future.
You don’t have to go far to reap the benefits of traveling. While much of the world is still shut down to travel, going on a road trip to a nearby state or even just a day trip around your own city is a great place to start. Make an itinerary, or just see where the wind takes you! Explore, try new foods, meet someone new – make it a trip you will never forget, even if it’s just a short walk from your own neighborhood.
There are so many things to try in this life! Kayaking, painting, baton twirling – the list is endless! Find something new that you have always wanted to try & give it a shot! Whether it ends in you mastering the skill, or in a heap on the floor laughing at yourself, it’s a great experience to step outside your comfort zone & try something new.
11. Live more sustainably
Grove provides sustainable cleaning, beauty & health products that are healthy for you & the environment – click here to get your first box FREE
As I always say, we only have two homes – our bodies & the earth. We have to take care of both of them.
Whether it’s a huge change like biking to work each day, or a smaller change like remembering to turn off the light whenever you leave the room, you are making a difference in the sustainability of our planet. And a lot of the changes you can make are healthier for you as well! Biking to work means increased physical fitness, better cardiovascular health, & more time spent in sunlight. Turning off the lights means a decreased energy bill, which is a fiscally fit lifestyle change. Natural cleaners are great for the environment & for reducing the toxins we breathe, & eating more vegetables & fruits means fewer animal products eaten, which is healthier for you & for reducing carbon emissions.
It can be overwhelming to try to live a completely sustainable lifestyle, so instead, pick at least one sustainable living habit & make it a regular practice in your daily life.
Brighten someone else’s day (& your own day as well) by doing random acts of kindness! It can be huge gestures like paying for someone’s meal at a restaurant, or smaller things like holding the door open for someone. The idea behind it is that it goes without notice – don’t pull attention to yourself or take credit for what you have done. And, if someone does insist on thanking you, tell them to pay it forward! Keep the kindness train moving!
We all need a little encouragement. Give out compliments as if you have too many to hold. Let people know what you like about them! You get bonus points if you can move past appearance. Compliment someone’s work ethic, their positive attitude, or how they parent their kids. It can be a huge boost to someone’s self-confidence, & their smile will be infectious – you will end up smiling, too!
If you can, read lots of books. Whether it’s to learn something new or to escape into another world, books are a great way to engage in self-care. Additionally, reading has been shown to strengthen our brains, increase empathy, reduce stress, & improve our memory retention. Find a book in a subject that interests you or a story that makes you want to keep turning the pages & get reading!
The environment we live in has a direct impact on our physical & mental wellbeing. Just keeping our desk clean can greatly reduce stress & improve our productivity. Even more than this, keeping a clean home means fewer germs & reduced stress in the space that is supposed to give us rest.
If you want to go above & beyond, get a plant! Despite the climate-controlled buildings we have been living in for so long, humans used to live in nature, & our minds & bodies still reap benefits from having nature in our living quarters.
I am absolutely fascinated by biophilic design, which connects people with nature within our buildings & communities. People have done some really amazing architectural feats to achieve this balance between architecture & nature, but simply bringing some plants into your home can have some incredible health benefits, including reduced stress & air purification.
Gratitude transforms our mindset from one of scarcity to abundance. It turns what we have into enough.
Ending each day by writing down a few things you are grateful for can have enormous benefits for your mental health, including reduced stress, better emotional regulation, & increased resilience. The more specific you are in the things you write, the more effective this practice will be.
Just like we should be handing out compliments regularly to the people we are with, we should also be sharing them with ourselves. How long would you stay in a relationship with someone who spoke to you the way that you do? Would it be a healthy, long marriage, or would you not even make it past the first date?
Use kind words. When things go wrong, have grace for yourself. Encourage yourself & take time each day to build yourself up, not tear yourself down. It seems simple, but speaking more positively to ourselves can radically transform our lives. Our mindset is in control of how we perceive the world & ourselves, & when we have a more positive outlook of our life situation & an appreciation for who we are, we can gain increased self-confidence, increased self-worth, & perhaps even a better understanding of what purpose we may play in this world.
Social media can be a source of information & connection, but it can also be draining & stressful. Take some time to go through the accounts that you are following & unfriend the ones that are no longer adding value to your life or, even worse, are contributing to any toxic thoughts or habits you may be engaging in. Fill your feed with positivity & useful information that helps you engage in healthier habits. And when you do interact, consider setting a time limit. Time slips away when we are scrolling through our feeds, & that can be a huge detriment to our productivity & quality of life.
I don’t necessarily mean face your darkest fears, but do something this year that makes you step outside of your comfort zone. Whether that’s standing up for yourself at work or telling a friend how much they mean to you, doing something that makes us cringe can increase our self-confidence & self-worth. Go on a trip, try a new food, sign up for a talent show – even if it doesn’t go as planned, you can still look back with pride knowing that you faced your fear.
Regular routines can help us de-stress & feel motivated for our days. Have a regular morning routine that excites you to get out of bed in the morning can help you feel refreshed & energized for your day. You can spend time journaling, reading, washing your face, exercising, making a fancy breakfast – there are so many possibilities. And at night, engage in activities that help you relax & rewind from the day. Journal about what you’re grateful for, wash the day off your face, & spend time reading or engaging in a quiet activity away from screens. It will improve your sleep, reduce stress, & help you feel more refreshed the next morning.
Too often, we spend the moments other people are talking to think about what we want to say next instead of really listening to what they are saying. Make listening a priority this year.
When I was little, I was always told the phrase, “You have two ears & one mouth, & they should be used in that proportion.” I find this holds up in almost every situation in my life. Even when I feel I have something meaningful to say, or when I am debating about an important topic, I find whatever point I wanted to make or thought I wanted to share can always wait. And when I take the time to listen to the person I am talking with, I often find we are more aligned in our thoughts than we realize. Coming to a conclusion, having empathy for one another, & building a healthy relationship all become more more probable when I take the time to listen to what someone is saying.
22. Check-in with yourself regularly
Me meditating on my back porch
The best habit I can ever recommend to anyone is to have regular check-ins with yourself. Make time each morning to think about how you are feeling, & based on that information, schedule in time that day for what you need. If you are still feeling tired, maybe a little 20-minute nap would be good this afternoon, or maybe a nice hot cup of coffee is a good way to start the day. If you are feeling sore, take some time to stretch. Or, if you’re feeling lonely, make it a point to call someone you love today.
Check-in with yourself at the end of a long week & see how you are feeling. Are you energized by the work & want to be productive this weekend, or do you need some extra time to relax & recharge before Monday comes again?
Scheduling regular check-ins about work, school, exercise programs, relationships, & just general well-being can be immensely helpful in discovering what you actually need in your life to be healthier, mentally, physically & spiritually. Too often we rush through life without actually thinking about how we feel. Sit down with yourself the way you would with a good friend & make time for your inner voice to be heard.
What are your resolutions for 2022? What healthy habits are you adding to your lifestyle? Leave me a comment below!
For the past year, I have given special affirmations for spring, summer & fall. Now, after three seasons focusing on growth & peace of mind, it’s time to turn inward & focus on joy & self-love.
Winter is the perfect time to check-in with yourself & find out how you are doing emotionally. As much of nature is hibernating, we, too, should be taking time to rest. With the cold weather, it’s important for us to give ourselves comfort during this time. And most importantly, we must remember that winter does not last forever – we are strong & resilient, & spring will come again.
These five affirmations are meant to help you recenter yourself & engage in more self-love. The design is perfect to share to your Instagram story, or to save for yourself as your phone background. Make sure they are placed somewhere you can see every day to remind yourself of your worth & to help you stay motivated this season.
