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Happy Valentine’s Day!
Today is a day dedicated to showing love to one another. It’s supposed to be a day filled with generosity & endearment for others. And for some, it still is, but for others, this is the holiday they hate the most.
I remember being single & feeling lonely on Valentine’s Day. It’s never fun to celebrate any holiday alone, but a holiday framed around celebrating a significant other has to be the most challenging. As picturesque photos of loved ones cuddling together fill our social media feeds, it’s understandable why some people would feel even more isolated & dejected.
But here’s the interesting thing to me: Those photos clouding our social media don’t tell the full story. They are full of smiling, blissful couples who look like they have the perfect relationship. However, we all know that no one has the “perfect” relationship – they are always fraught with difficulties.
Does this mean couples shouldn’t post about their significant other & share their love? Absolutely not! There is nothing wrong with celebrating a joyous thing, & being in a relationship can be one of life’s joys. In fact, you can probably expect to see a photo from me today honoring the love of my life, & why wouldn’t I? I do adore him, & I want to celebrate that.
But, there is a problem when anyone looking at these photos thinks these pictures tell the whole story. The truth is, there are hardships & joys, lessons to be learned & things to be celebrated, both when someone is single & in a relationship. And Valentine’s Day should be a day to celebrate both of these stages of life with a giving & loving spirit.
That is why Joseph & I set out on a bitterly cold February morning to spread a little positivity for Valentine’s Day. Earlier in the week, I bought heart-shaped boxes of chocolates & Starbucks gift cards, & I spent an entire evening making little valentines to go with them. Our goal was to give with the generous spirit we believe Valentine’s Day should always embody, & to learn people’s answers to one question: “What is one thing you learned, either while being single or in a relationship?”
We met with people young & old from all different walks of life, & the answers we got were fantastic. Being single gives you more freedom to do the things you want to do. Loving yourself is the most important thing, both when you’re single & when you’re in a relationship. Compromise & communication are two of the most important skills you can have in a relationship. And my personal favorite: A relationship is not 50/50 as the old adage goes, but actually 100/100 – both people have to be giving their all for a relationship to work.
And I loved watching people’s faces light up when we handed them their chocolates & Starbucks gift card. We said goodbye to everyone with a cheery, “Happy Valentines Day!” and they always returned the same. We watched them walk away with smiles on their faces, chatting excitedly about their moment sharing their wisdom & lessons learned on camera, & their joy in receiving an unexpected gift. I felt in that moment, we were all celebrating Valentine’s Day in a much more authentic & genuine way. We all felt loved, seen, & appreciated.
This Valentine’s Day, I encourage you, whether you are single or in a relationship, to enjoy this holiday for what it is: A chance to show love, either to others or to yourself, in a genuine & heartfelt way. Treat someone else to a coffee, or buy one for yourself. Indulge in some chocolate treats, or give them to someone you love. And remember that, no matter what stage of life you are in, it is serving a purpose in your life, & there is something to be appreciated & learned from it.
Most importantly, as I wrote in each little valentine that we handed out, know that you are loved just as you are, and that is something worth remembering and celebrating, not just today, but every day of the year.
P.S. Check out Joseph’s video capturing our entire day & all the great lessons we learned!