Washington DC: The day trip we “forgot” to mention

Me at the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial

It was a hot day in August when Joseph and I decided to visit our nation’s capitol.

I spent a day planning our itinerary, & then we left early on a Tuesday in Joseph’s black Mazda. As we drove into the city, the tall buildings I was expecting greeted us first, but then, lush, green trees surrounded our car.

Our first stop was the Smithsonian Zoo. To avoid zoo parking costs, we drove to Porter St. NW, thanks to a tip online. However, upon arriving, we found that there was only two hour parking available, which would not be long enough for us to explore the zoo. So instead, we drove around for a few minutes, and we luckily stumbled along free residential parking just a couple blocks away from the zoo. We ate a quick breakfast at the car and then walked the busy DC morning streets to our destination.

We strolled down the brick-laden streets that wound around the animal exhibits, peering in with bated breath and repeatedly turning away, disappointed. The animals were nowhere to be found. 

The air was already growing humid and sweat was brimming on our foreheads in the August morning air as we approached the elephant exhibit.

“What if the elephants are hiding, too?“ Joseph asked. I looked back at him, dread washing over me.

“I don’t want to think about it,” I said. Elephants are my favorite animal.

Luckily, the elephants were not hiding away like the other animals. They lumbered around their pen, grazing and enjoying the warm sun. I gazed at the majestic creatures with the same wonder I always do, looking deep into their amber eyes and seeing the same wisdom and beauty that always encapsulates me.

The Elephant Trails Exhibit at the Smithsonian Zoo

Once I had finally had my fill, we explored the rest of the zoo with much more success. The animals had finally come out. We laughed while we watched the otters play and gazed, fascinated, at the stately cats panting in the hot sun. 

Just before leaving the zoo, Joseph dragged me into the Great Ape House, my least favorite place in the zoo. I have been terrified of monkeys since I was a little girl, and that fear has not subsided in the slightest over the years. I watched in terror as the orangutans swung from branch to branch and the angry gorilla charged the glass.

I don’t think we lasted more than two minutes in that exhibit, but that was plenty of time for me. I would have rather spent more time with the elephants.

We were both famished by the time we left the zoo. While Joseph went to get our car, I stopped by Starbucks to get us two large iced lattes and our special mug that we get from every trip we take. We are currently trying to visit all 50 states, and from each one, we get a Starbucks mug from the “Been There” series. It’s our special little souvenir that represents where we have been, as well as our coffee addiction.

We drove to the National Mall, which proved to be an even trickier place to find parking. When we finally did find a spot, we were both growing hangrier by the minute. We walked to a nearby patch of grass and immediately began picnicking. We both felt much better with food in our stomachs, sipping ice cold coffee. 

Joseph & me at the Thomas Jefferson Memorial

By now, sweat was pouring down our backs. My hair was unkempt, and we were both itchy from the grass. It was quite tempting to jump into the glistening water beside us, or to turn home to take a blissfully cold shower. But after traveling in a car around the state of Colorado for nearly two weeks, we are no strangers to discomfort during our adventures, and we always try to make the most of it. So, as planned, we walked around the entire loop of the National Mall. Good conversation and the incredible statues kept us occupied. 

When we stepped into the Franklin Delano Roosevelt Memorial, followed shortly by the Martin Luther King, Jr. Memorial, I couldn’t help but reflect on the current events rocking our country. The Black Lives Matter protests were still at their height. Anger had painted our country into two distinct colors of red and blue. The election was still a couple months away, but already I felt the divisiveness and fear in the hearts of my fellow Americans. 

Our walk took much longer than expected – hours later, we were ready for dinner. We drove to Georgetown, or rather, what we thought was Georgetown, and then drove an additional 45 minutes searching desperately for parking. When we finally found a small spot on a beaten down road, we discovered to our dismay that we were on the wrong side of the city. We were on the right street, but our actual destination was a seven minute drive away. It doesn’t sound like much, but it was not a walkable distance, and it meant we would have to search for parking again.

Me at the Washington Monument

We were exhausted but liberated when we drove into Georgetown and found it was the main street feel we had been searching for. The tall, ornate buildings had been replaced by small, locally-owned shops and restaurants. Luckily, we found parking within a few minutes, and then we searched for the restaurant we wanted to visit. We settled on an American cuisine (I mean, we were visiting the American capitol, after all); we dined at Clydes, a family-owned restaurant that believes in using local and sustainable ingredients in their cooking. The atmosphere was classy, but no doubt American. We sat down at a leather booth, surrounded by ornate woodwork, and listening to 80s rock music playing softly in the background. 

Joseph ordered a burger and some of the best French fries I have ever tasted in my life. I got a salad with grilled salmon. Neither of us were disappointed. The meat and seafood were cooked to a succulent perfection, seasoned so astutely we both couldn’t stop eating. 

We ended our meals satisfied and ready to return home after a long day. On our walk back to the car, we perused a few shops, but we were both too tired to take our time. 

When we arrived home, we each took long, cool showers and then crashed into our beds, ready for a long night’s rest. Visiting our nation’s capitol had been an exciting trip, one we would not soon forget. 

We didn’t tell this story right away, though. Life seemed to only grow crazier, both in our personal lives and in our nation. I was working way too many hours to also be regularly posting on a blog. However, every time I received a free moment and thought about posting this story, I thought it might seem tactless to describe a blissful day in our nation’s capitol with all of the tumultuous events occurring at that very place.

And then, the events of January 6 occurred, when fellow Americans stormed the U.S. Capitol building with guns and bombs, disrupting the peaceful transition of power our country has respected for hundreds of years. It was shocking to watch the videos, just as it was shocking to watch the violence take place during the Black Lives Matter protests last summer. And both times, I realized I sat safe at home while others were hurt. I sat at home while my brothers and sisters were killed. It made me sick to my stomach. 

Me outside the Smithsonian Zoo

So, why am I posting this story now? The timing is no better than it was before. Well, all I can say is, it was a beautiful day, in our nation’s capitol. Despite it being unbearably hot and an exhausting trip, it was a beautiful day spent in the city our nation depends on every day. 

When I think back to the trip now, I think about the moments I spent gazing up at the Martin Luther King, Jr. Memorial. I think about what he fought for, the reason he is remembered in granite and in our hearts today. I wonder what he would think of the divisiveness in our nation now. I wonder what he would say about the protests, the riots, the hurt, and the pain. 

I cannot speak for him, but what I will say is that I think the time has come for us to unify once again. I think it is time to rebuild, and to build it much better this time. I think it is time that we listen to one another instead of yell at one another, that we build each other up instead of tear each other down. I think it’s time for forgiveness, as hard as it may be, and to soften our hardened hearts to the possibility of love and building a better future. 

I don’t think it will be easy. I don’t think it is something I can just write and then it will happen. It’s going to take patience, hard work, and a lot of uncomfortable conversations. I imagine I will have to be in a lot of situations that are far more discomforting that this day in Washington, DC. But I am more than willing, and I hope you are, too. 

Because, as Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” 

Joseph and me just a few minutes away from his house – we made it home just as the sun was setting

There has been a shadow of darkness over our nation, and hate has been spewed for generations. I know standing up against this overwhelming cloud of wickedness and corruption takes courage, but I think it also takes a lot of love. And if I want to be remembered for anything in my life, I want it to be for how I loved. I hope my writing is a part of the dim light shining through, and my intention is that whoever is reading this feels only love from my words. 

Let’s drive out the darkness together, one small step at a time, and let’s love the hate out of this nation, one person at a time. It’s what we all have the power to do. It’s what we were born here with the freedom to do. And as Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “The time always right to do what is right.”

P.S. Watch Joseph’s vlog about this trip on his YouTube channel – & don’t forget to subscribe!

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15 songs I listened to on repeat this summer

The summer is almost over, which means it’s nearly time for cozy sweaters and pumpkin spice lattes. It also means that the music scene is about to change from carefree beats to more sentimental tunes.

However, there are a few more warm days left. So, until the leaves start to change, I am going to keep listening to my summer vibe playlist, and I thought I would share it with you to enjoy, too. I have to warn you now: not all the songs are upbeat, but they make up the soundtrack of my summer of 2020.

I hope you enjoy it! Please feel free to share your favorite summer vibe songs in the comment below – I would love to add them to my listening queue.

Summer Vibes Playlist

1. Here Comes the Sun by The Beatles

I can’t go more than a few days of summer without listening to this classic goodie. Yes, finally, the summer is here, and the sun is out. It’s time to slow down and just enjoy life a little more. 

2. The 1 by Taylor Swift (E)

Aptly named as the first song in her surprise new album, The 1 by Taylor Swift is the perfect introduction to an album with a completely different vibe than the artist’s previous works. It’s a bittersweet, regretful, lost love song that I can’t stop listening to.

3. Sleep on the Floor by The Lumineers

Me and my team at the Fred and Pamela Buffet Cancer Center in Nebraska during 4K for Cancer 2019

Something that characterized this summer for me was travel and adventure. I have always wanted to travel, but have never had the means or the time. This summer, I finally had the chance to explore the world outside of my comfort zone, and it was even better than I had expected. This song by The Lumineers is my favorite song to listen to while traveling. It was introduced to me by one of my teammates on 4K for Cancer in summer of 2019, and I can’t help but have joyful tears come to my eyes when I listen to it and think back to that crazy adventure.

4. Be Kind by Halsey and Marshmello

Halsey has been one of my favorite artists since she started creating music. Her lyrics are always pure poetry. This collaboration with Marshmello is an upbeat song with a deeper meaning that touches on how we tend to hurt the ones who love us best.

5. Don’t Stop Me Now by Queen

It doesn’t matter the time of year or what I have planned for the day – this is always my favorite song to start my day with. It’s the song that always pumps me up and helps me feel ready for my day. 

6 Wishing Well by Juice WRLD (E)

Juice WRLD passed away in December of last year due to an accidental overdose. However, his music has still continued to be released since then, and some of the songs, like this one, reveal just how much the young rapper was struggling. It’s an eye-opening song about depression and addiction set to a deceptively cheery beat. 

7. Thunder by Imagine Dragons

In addition to “Don’t Stop Me Now” by Queen, this is the other tune I always turn to for a little motivation. It featured frequently on my summer queue this year as I struggled with unemployment and began to explore my passions more.

8. It’s Hard to be Human by Kina Grannis

This truly was the vibe of 2020, wasn’t it? It’s hard to be human, but luckily, it’s an experience we all can understand and empathize with. We’re all in this together.

9. I’m Alive (Life Sounds Like) by Michael Franti and Spearhead

The proposal 7/14/20 – Photo by Jon Mauler

I got engaged this summer! I can’t say too much about this song – stay tuned to the blog for more sneak peaks and details about Joseph’s and my 2021 wedding. This is just a little taste.

10. Reckless Love/Even If by Mass Anthem

“Even If” by MercyMe will always be the Christian song that touches my heart most. It was the song that changed my life. “Reckless Love” by Cory Asbury was the song I sang throughout my college years with my friends when we worshipped at Campus Crusade for Christ (CRU) club meetings. The combination of the two creates a song that never fails to bring tears to my eyes. During the hard moments this summer, this was the song I listened to for solace and comfort.

11. Colorado by CHAPPY

The highlight of my summer (besides, of course, getting engaged) was the road trip to Colorado with my new fiancé. This song was the soundtrack of our trip.

12. Own Alone by Bahamas

This was a song Joseph introduced me to, and I just can’t help continuing to listen to it. It has such a unique sound and fun beat; it always makes me smile.

13. How Many Times by Marcus Foster

This song is a bit more chill than some of the others on this list. It’s the perfect summer vibe song for a lazy afternoon in the sun.

14. In the Colors by Ben Harper and the Innocent Criminals

Joseph and me on the top of Mount Royal in Frisco, Colorado

This was Joseph’s and my summer vibe song. We listened to it quite a few times while spending time together in all the colors of summer. 

15. Yellow Lines by Brendan James

Here’s one more of my favorite travel songs because I really did spend much of this summer traveling, specifically road-tripping. Driving along those yellow lines, this was the song I listened to most. This summer, I embarked on many adventures, not just in the places that I went, but in the new, life-changing steps I took in my relationship and career. It was a summer filled with long roads that lead to endless possibilities. 

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How to travel during COVID-19

Joseph and me during our road trip to Colorado

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you purchase a product after clicking the associated link, I will earn a small commission off of that purchase.

It seems like the novel coronavirus is not going anywhere soon, so we have all been tasked with finding ways to navigate this “new normal.” For travel enthusiasts, like me, that can be a difficult task considering the amount of risk and restriction associated with travel. Airports are practically a breeding ground for the virus, and every country and state has different mandates about how and when people are allowed to visit. 

It is recommended to stay at home as much as possible unless travel is essential, but sometimes, we all need to step outside of our homes for our own mental health. If that’s you, consider using these tips to keep your travels as safe as possible.

1. Do your research

Research your own state’s laws and the laws of the state or country you are planning to travel to. Know what the restrictions are and what is required of you, such as having an extended quarantine when you arrive at your destination or after you return home. If you can limit your travel to within your own state, that’s even safer, and it can be more realistic if you can’t take the time off to quarantine from your job.

2. Wear a mask

Joseph and me on a main street in Leesburg, Virginia, where we were visiting Joseph’s sister, Jo, and her husband, Dan

Whether your state or the place you are visiting requires it, wear a mask. The most recent research shows that this protects not only the people around you, but yourself as well. Make sure the mask you are wearing is approved by the CDC, and please wear it over your mouth and nose. Both your mouth and nose lead to your respiratory system, so there is absolutely no point in leaving your nose exposed.

3. Go somewhere within driving distance

Joseph and me at Rocky Gap State Park during our road trip through Western Maryland

If you can, avoid international travel or travel to faraway states that requires a plane ride. Airports pose a much larger risk of contracting and spreading the virus than your own vehicle. If you can stay within your own state, even better. But if you want to travel out-of-state, consider the idea of road tripping there. The great part of this is driving to your destination enables you to see more of the scenery and to stop at other places along the way that seem fun or interesting. Make a road trip playlist (or use mine below) to listen to some entertaining tunes along the way. 

4. Keep your hands as clean as possible

Wash your hands frequently, and keep a bottle of hand sanitizer in your car for times when you can’t. Keeping your hands clean dramatically reduces your chance to contracting and spreading the virus. And remember, even when you think your hands are clean, do NOT touch your face!

5. Stay away from other people as much as possible

Me hiking in Aspen, Colorado during Joseph’s and my road trip to Colorado

If you are traveling simply to get out of the house, consider alternatives to hotel stays and popular tourist attractions. Hiking, fishing, and other outdoor activities are great alternatives to walking busy streets. Consider packing your own food or getting takeout rather than dining at a restaurant. And while the weather is still warm, camping can be a more affordable and safer alternative to hotel stays. 

6. Make it worth the trip

Joseph at Dan’s Rock Scenic Overlook during our Western Maryland road trip

Traveling to other places is fun, but it only seems worth it when you really get to experience those places. The good news is that the tourist attractions are often not the best way to achieve this – the best way to experience a place is to go where the locals go. So, again, do your research. Make a list of the places you want to visit and things you want to do that are low-risk, such as visiting national parks, scenic points, local eateries that are offering carry-out, and main streets in small towns.

7. Get tested for COVID-19 when you come home

Whether your state recommends it or not, a safe step you can take at the end of your trip is getting tested for COVID-19 as soon as you return and quarantining until you get the results. Waiting to interact with other people until you know you’re safe can help prevent the spreading of the virus to dozens of people. It’s always better to be safe than sorry, so if you are willing to take the risk of traveling, consider making sure that you are the only one who experiences any potential consequences of that choice. 

Traveling can be a great way to take care of your mental health and get active in your daily life, but during times like this, it should always be done with caution and forethought. Don’t stop living life, but make sure when you do embark on any adventures, you are doing so safely for yourself and others. 

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Pennsylvania day trip

When the novel coronavirus changed the world in March, it was difficult to imagine what a future would look like. I took my life day by day, watching, observing, and trying to construct some form of comfort and continuity in my life. 

In the five months that have passed since that time, it has still been a struggle to find solace in a world that is rapidly changing around me. I have spent far too much time trying to plan for a future that is still mostly unknown. The few things that have brought me some consolation are the people in my life and the adventures I have taken now that my schedule is oddly free. It was these two things that brought me to Pennsylvania.

Traveling during the coronavirus can be daunting, especially when restrictions are constantly changing. However, after checking the latest travel restrictions this past week, I made plans to visit the state just next door to me where two people I was very excited to see are currently living. 

Since the start of the pandemic, I have not seen any friends in person. Apart from my new fiancé and a few of his family members, I have socially distanced myself from everyone. I have heard it has been suggested to call social distancing “physical distancing” to encourage people to still have social interactions through less conventional means, such as Zoom or FaceTime. Unfortunately, in my case, physical distancing really did become social distancing – text messages went unanswered and video calls became less frequent as people have grown tired of the constant screen time and so little authentic time spent with people. 

Caitlin & me at Stevenson University’s Relay for Life in 2018

So, when Caitlin and Mark agreed to meet for dinner in their town of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, I jumped at the chance to do a little more traveling and see two people I have dearly missed.

Caitlin and I became friends my first year at Stevenson University, and we have been close ever since. She invited me to come with her to Campus Crusade for Christ, an organization on campus focused on helping college students grow in their faith. It was there that I met Mark, who was one of the leaders in the club. The following year, Caitlin and Mark started dating. It was obvious from the beginning of their relationship that the two of them were perfect for one another. This past June, just 10 days after my own engagement, Mark proposed. So, this dinner was not just one to catch up, but to celebrate the life milestone we had all taken very recently. 

Joseph and I woke up early Saturday morning to get a jumpstart on our traveling. It is on our bucket list to visit all 50 states, and this was our chance to cross Pennsylvania off our list. 

In order to officially say we visited a state, there are a couple of things we have agreed we need to do. We have to explore a main street, eat (or drink) at a local restaurant, hike at a national park, and visit a tourist or scenic spot. Once we have done all of these things, we can go to a local Starbucks to buy our “Been There” series mug.

So far this summer, we have visited Colorado, Maryland and Virginia. Suffice it to say, I was very excited to add a fourth mug to our collection that has been growing on my windowsill. 

Our first stop was Gettysburg National Military Park, a place shrouded in American history. The morning was thankfully still cool when we began our relaxed, four-mile hike on the Johnny Reb Trail. The paved path wound through cemeteries and monuments commemorating the lives of fallen soldiers and to tell the story of the Battle of Gettysburg. Stone statues marked the spots where the infantry moved during the fight. According to the National Park Service website, the Battle of Gettysburg was a turning point during the Civil War that helped secure the eventual victory of the Union. Known for being the bloodiest battle of the Civil War, it was this particular battle that inspired President Lincoln’s famous “Gettysburg Address.” 

Our next stop was Starbucks. It was a little early in the day to already be buying our mug, but we knew we wouldn’t check off all our destinations until that night, and since it was now late morning, we were both desperate for coffee. We bought our mug and two lattes, and then we headed to downtown Gettysburg to walk Steinwehr Avenue, our main street of choice for the day.

While we had been hiking, I had seen people dressed in nineteenth-century style clothing. I had assumed these people were tour guides or people doing reenactments at the park. However, as we walked down the street, we saw multiple people dressed in the same garb. Some played the part of their costume, talking as if they had just stepped off the battlefield, while others I caught checking their cell phones that they had hidden away in their petticoats. Either way, their attire alongside the classic architecture and shops filled with historical artifacts created an immersive experience I thoroughly enjoyed. 

After walking around town, we drove to Lancaster. Our dinner reservation was not for a few hours, but we had bought tickets to ride on the Strasburg Railroad, the oldest continuously operating railroad in the country. According to the Strasburg Railroad website, the railroad was founded in 1832 to transport both freight and passengers across Pennsylvania. Neither Joseph nor I had ever ridden on a train before. We excitedly boarded the bright red locomotive and sat across from each other on the bench seats. When the whistle blew and the train chugged out of the station, we stuck our heads out of the windows to feel the wind against our faces and to watch the corn fields whizz past. 

While riding, we were treated to learning a bit of Pennsylvania history, culture and superstition. We were told that it had been this train that had taken Abraham Lincoln and his wife, Mary, to his inauguration in 1861. Unfortunately, a mere four years later, it was also the train that had taken Mary and the body of the deceased president back home. Out our windows, we were able to see Amish farmers working in the fields while we learned from our tour guide about the plain lifestyle. Almost halfway through our trip, the train came to a full stop, and our guide encouraged us to be very quiet so we could hear the ghost whistle of the engine on the Lancaster, Oxford and Southern Railway, which has been out of service since 1918. Our train’s whistle pierced the air, and without a second’s delay, another whistle answered. 

“Is it an echo,” I asked Joseph at the same time he turned to me and posed the same question.

“Did someone ask if it was an echo,” our tour guide asked jovially over the loudspeaker. “I am so disappointed. We pay that farmer 27 dollars a day just to whistle back at us.”  I laughed, unsure if the guide was joking or not. I guess we will never know for sure if it is an echo, another whistle, or if there really is a ghost locomotive riding the rails in Pennsylvania.

We had a little extra time between the end of our ride and dinner, so we headed to downtown Lancaster to walk another main street. As soon as we stepped out of the car, a candy store caught my eye. I ran to it like an excited child while Joseph lagged behind. 

Sweetish Candy is a Swedish candy and hygge shop that sells imported Scandinavian goods, including a plethora of sweets made with wholesome ingredients. Entranced by all the goodies, we bought two bars of Icelandic bitter chocolate made with Icelandic sea salt and bourbon vanilla. After spending so much time roaming around the shop we had very little left to explore the main street, so we headed back to our car to go to dinner. A nearby gas station bathroom served as our spot to get ready, so when we walked into the restaurant, we looked as if we had not been running around in the humid Pennsylvania heat all day.

We met Cait and Mark at Loxley’s, a popular, upscale restaurant in Pennsylvania. To enter, we walked across a bridge that overlooked a manmade pond filled with ginormous lily pads and big, bright orange fish. Our friends, who had arrived a few minutes before us, were seated on the patio outside. We greeted each other with hugs and exclamations of congratulations. As our waiter, Jonah, served us drinks and appetizers, Caitlin and I studied each other’s rings while we all had the chance to share the stories of our proposals and how life and wedding planning has been going since then. Once dinner was served, we turned the conversation to what post-graduation life has been like, to our work lives, and to sharing how general life during a pandemic has affected each of us. The world grew dark around us as we continued talking long after the plates had been cleared and our glasses had emptied, enjoying the experience of finally being able to talk with close friends without a screen placed between us. 

As Cait and I both began to yawn, Joseph and Mark called an end to the evening. We hugged goodbye, promising to visit again soon, and then each returned to our own cars. On the drive home, I felt a sense of peace that I have not yet experienced since the beginning of the pandemic. Life has not returned to normal, and I don’t think it ever will, but the day’s adventures had been a reassurance that this new way of living can still be just as enjoyable and exciting.

Traveling through a place filled with history was a reminder to me of just how much the world has changed and how much it will continue to change throughout my life. Walking around town surrounded by people in bonnets and top hats reminded me that wearing a mask is simply the latest change in fashion, and to be perfectly honest, I would happily choose to wear that than the corsets I saw those other women donning. Like the first gunshot fired during a war, the novel coronavirus changed the world as we know it forever, and we are now in the midst of understanding what this new world will be like. However, in the thick of all this uncertainty, there are two things I now know for sure that have given me hope: First, that life is always changing, so the best way to live life to the fullest is to embrace the new and seek to find ways to still confront and encounter even more novel experiences. And secondly, it will always be the people in my life and the relationships I have built that will bring me comfort in times of elation and struggle, and though it may try, social distancing cannot take that away from me. 

Life is not what it used to be, but hopefully, with a little mindset shift and perhaps a little extra effort, we can make it even better than what we ever envisioned.

P.S. Joseph has launched his vlog! Check out his perspective of today’s events by watching the video below. If you like it, please consider subscribing to his YouTube channel – every follow helps.

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Arizona vacation: Day 8

My last morning in Arizona began the same as many others. I woke up early to beat the heat of the day. I went for a run with my dad, this time taking extra note to the beauty of the scenery: The red earth; the tall, desert cacti; the clear, blue sky without a cloud in sight. We finished our run at Starbucks, where we ordered lattes. When we returned to the house, we ate breakfast with Bev and Gus. I soaked in my last few moments with my family, studying their features and listening to their laughter. 

The time to leave came far too quickly. We hugged our loved ones goodbye, promising to visit again soon. Hopefully, there will not be another decade between now and our next visit. Jake, Mom, Dad, and I piled our luggage into the van and then climbed inside. We waved one last time to Bev and Gus, who were standing in the doorway of their home, and then we began the hour-long drive to the airport.

It was a quiet, somber trip. None of us were quite ready to leave. We had enjoyed the time spent with family in Arizona; we all wanted just one more day to fully appreciate how precious that time had been.

When we arrived at the airport, we returned our rental car and then took the shuttle to our terminal. We were running late, and I was getting nervous. I kept checking my watch as the minutes dwindled down. However, the airport was nearly empty once again. We made it through baggage claim and security in record time. There were even a few minutes to spare for a quick snack before we boarded our plane.

Today’s flight home was easier than the trip to Arizona had been. Instead of two flights with an unnecessarily long layover in between, we had one four-and-a-half-hour flight straight back to our destination. Instead of sleeping on this flight, I decided to finish my book, Brain on Fire: My Month of Madness by Susannah Cahalan. The book kept me at rapt attention, turning pages feverishly throughout, until I finally reached the last, eloquently written paragraph. 

While reading, I was treated to the cacophony of, not just one, but two crying babies. When one stopped, the other picked up her shift. On rare occasion, we were treated to a lovely duet. I couldn’t help but feel sorry for the parents as my fellow passengers grew restless in their seats. Luckily, it seemed that most people on the airplane had come prepared with headphones and earplugs, so there were no voiced complaints.

I had nearly reached the end of my book when the plane began to descend. I looked up from the words to glance out the airplane window at the perfect moment. Rippling water basking in the sunlight wound through tall, green trees that covered the land. Upon the water, a lonely boat cut through the waves in the direction of a distant bridge. I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the sight. It was as if, in just a week of being away, I had forgotten how much I loved the trees and adored the greenery that surrounded me  at home. I had forgotten the summer days I am accustomed to, lying on a boat or on the shore of a beach with the hot sand between my toes, soaking up the sunshine.

Me hiking at Oregon Ridge Nature Center in Baltimore County

“Look at all that humidity,” the passenger behind me grunted.

Oh, yes, I can’t forget the humidity, too. We are back in Maryland, the state of muggy summers; brilliant thunderstorms; tasty blue crabs served with Old Bay; and bright, black-eyed Susans. We are back in the state where I grew up, where I feel a familiar sense of comfort no matter where I have been or how long I have been gone. We are home.

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Arizona vacation: Day 7

It was another hot morning in Arizona. After being here for a week, I thought my body would be used to it, but every time I step out of the house, it still seems to come as a surprise. The heat is relentless, and the sun seems to be trying as hard is it can to sear every living thing, including me. 

I woke up early again today to go running before the sun rose too high in the sky. The one thing I will admit about the dry Arizona heat is that it’s better running weather than the humidity in Maryland. Here, I can keep my stride going well into the 90s, but back home, anything over 80 degrees is too hot – I start sweating as soon as I step outside. I have enjoyed my runs here  more than those I was having back on the east coast during our latest heat wave. 

Dad and I finished our run a little after 7:00 and bought coffees once again at Starbucks. It is becoming a bit of an expensive tradition, but nothing compares to that little jolt of espresso after a hot morning run. 

Today was our last full day in Arizona, and we planned to spend it as we had the rest of this trip – visiting and getting to know family. Before relatives arrived at the house, Bev and Gus took us shopping at a local store to buy souvenirs, and then they gave us a small tour around their retirement community. My favorite part was the garden, which included a meditation area with a fountain and a large model train adorned with cute little houses, moving figurines, and a zoo (which, oddly enough, housed a dinosaur). The tour took place from the inside of our air conditioned car because today was the hottest day we had experienced yet. I am surprised the thermometer did not break. It was over 110 degrees by the time we got back to the house to prepare lunch. 

Annette, my mother’s cousin, was the first to visit. We ate hors d’oeuvres and talked about our summers – Annette just recently retired from being a nurse and bought a new home not far from where Bev and Gus live. I have only met Annette one other time in my life, so it was nice to have the chance to catch up and visit again.

After she left, we only had an hour before our next guests arrived. Jocelyn, Pam’s daughter, and her new boyfriend, Riley, were out of town when visited Pam’s house on Sunday, so they decided to drive to see us on our last evening here. They brought Hazel, Jocelyn’s energetic, two-year-old dog, who brought smiles to all of our faces with her kisses and puppy cuddles. 

Once again, I was excited about the chance to visit with family I had never met before. Jocelyn and I found that we have a lot in common, including the fact that we are both currently on the low-FODMAP diet. For the first time on this trip, I was not the only one with unusual dietary restrictions. Riley, Jocelyn and I talked about school and their recent trip to California. The two of them will be returning to school in a few weeks for their second year of college. It was nice to be able to talk with family members so close in age and with whom I had so much in common; we were able to talk about our lives with ease.

From left to right: Annette, Gus and Mom

The evening hours flew by, and before we knew it, our dinner plates had been cleared, dessert had been served, and it was time to say goodnight. Once again, we faced saying farewell to people without knowing when we would see them again. Then we went to bed knowing we would have to do the same with Bev and Gus tomorrow, which, after days of growing to know them better and love them even more, would be even harder.

I have one more night in Arizona. I will have one more early morning run, one more hot latte, one more breakfast with family, and then I will be flying on a plane back to Maryland. The trip went by far too fast. I would love to have the chance to stay just a few days longer to explore more of Arizona and spend more time with these people I have grown to love even more. I am so grateful that, despite with everything currently happening in the country and the world, this trip was still possible. For much of the summer, I feared we would not even make it to Arizona. And now that I have been here, I know it’s going to be even harder to stay away.

It will not be another decade before I return. I am going to visit again soon, but this time, I am going with experience, which means I am not coming back in July. A pleasant, winter trip to a balmy 70 degrees sounds like a delightful vacation that I am thoroughly looking forward to. 

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Arizona vacation: Day 6

After nearly a week spent in Arizona, the end of my vacation looming not far into the future, I finally had the chance to experience the state for the beautiful place it is.

Our destination today was Sedona. My dad and I got up early again to run before the heat of the day hit. After the workout, we enjoyed coffees and breakfast as a family, and then we headed out to embark upon our adventure.

Sedona is over two hours away from where Bev and Gus live, so the drive was a tad long and hot. Jake and I passed the time by playing a version of the alphabet game, which managed to entertain us for the majority of the ride.

“Don’t miss out on the scenery,” Bev called out jokingly. The barren red landscape changed minimally over the course of the trip.

However, as we got closer to Sedona, our surroundings did become more appealing. Large rock formations grew from the ground and stretched up towards the sky. We gained over 4,000 feet in elevation during our drive. 

The temperature in Sedona was 10 degrees cooler than it was in Sun City. When I first learned this, I thought it would provide a great relief after days 100-plus degree weather. However, upon arrival, I realized that 10 degrees does not feel all that different when the temperature is still over 90 degrees. 

All of us in Coyote Canyon – from left to right: Dad, Jake, me, Bev, Gus, and Mom

We ate a quick lunch and then walked to Pink Adventure Tours. Bev had signed us up for a Coyote Canyons Pink Jeep Tour, one of the moderate (which means not too bumpy) canyon drives. After receiving our bubblegum pink wristbands, we walked to the parking lot where there were multiple bright pink jeeps lined up beside one another. Our tour guide, Ryan, has been working for Pink Jeep Tours for 12 years, since the economic crash in 2008. He grew up in California, where he had worked in carpentry. When he lost his job, his parents suggested he turn his hobbies of Jeep driving and dirt bike-riding into a career, so he moved to Arizona and got the job he has now. The unfortunate thing, he said, was that, after spending so many of his days driving through the canyons, his hobbies no longer felt like fun past times. He just sold his last dirt bike a few weeks ago.

Ryan was a fantastic tour guide. He gave us the perfect blend of information and humor to make the tour fun and educational. It was a bumpy ride – the jeep tires, which were over half my height, climbed over boulders and down treacherous rocky trails, throwing us against our tightened seat belts. There were quite a few times that I held my breath, expecting the vehicle to tip, but Ryan was an expert driver who kept us safe. 

As we rode, we admired the layers of red, white and brown on the canyon walls, formed over hundreds of years of different environments. Ryan stopped the jeep near an old, log cabin built by Earl Van Deren for him and his new bride in the 1890s. Walking up to that house, sweat pouring down my face, I could not imagine how anyone survived that long ago without air conditioning. 

The Van Deren cabin

The jeep tour lasted two hours, but it felt much shorter. The good news is that, while it was fascinating and the views were beautiful, I don’t think any of us wanted the tour to last much longer. By the end, our pants were soaked with sweat as if we had been swimming, and we were all tired and thirsty from the heat.

We stopped at the gift shop for some souvenirs and then headed to Old Town Cottonwood, a small town not far from Sedona. The main street was quaint and alluring, but most of the shops were closed due to the novel coronavirus. Instead of walking the street, we went to Colt Grill, where we bought drinks to cool off. Bev and I each ordered a glass of wine, Gus and Dad ordered local beers, and Mom ordered a prickly pear margarita, one of the house specials. 

Just before purchasing, a kind man seated at the bar announced that he would pay for our drinks. This was exceedingly generous considering how many of us there were. We thanked him profusely, but he shrugged us off. He told us he hated the racial tensions happening in the country right now, and he wanted to show us that there were no ill feelings between any of us. 

Now, with our heads light on our shoulders from such a pleasant interaction (and the alcohol in our systems), we headed to where we wanted to eat. Rock Springs Cafe, which happens to be the oldest, independently owned restaurant still serving customers in Arizona, was one of very few buildings situated on a small exit off the highway. It consisted of a Mom and Pop-style store, a saloon, and the cafe, which was where the restaurant dining was located. The cuisine was homestyle comfort food, which, of course, wasn’t fancy, but it was delicious and filling after a long day. Our waitress was as sweet as the pies she served us. We ordered a rhubarb strawberry pie and a Jack Daniels pecan pie to bring home and enjoy with ice cream. 

When we finally did arrive back at the house, Gus pointed out that we had been on our adventure for 11 hours, which explained the drawn looks on our reddened faces. The pie, however, brightened our spirits immediately. We sat at the table, laughing, talking and, once again, savoring the beauty of finally being able to spend time with one another. 

Drinking at Colt Grill – from left to right: Bev, Gus, Mom, me, Jake, and Dad

This trip has been almost entirely about visiting family, which I could not be happier about. After about a decade since I have seen my relatives, it has been a true blessing to be reunited with them once again. Today, however, it was fun to experience Arizona for the amazing place that it is, to eat at a restaurant that only the locals know, and to travel a little out of our comfort zones to have a new experience we will never forget. 

Even on relaxing vacations, it can’t hurt to have just a little taste of adventure sprinkled in. 

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Arizona vacation: Day 5

My family having lunch at Pam’s & Rick’s house – from left to right: Dad, me, Mom, Kathleen, Pam, Samuel, Gus, Thomas, Bev, Jake, Isabella, and Steve

Today, I started my morning far earlier than my body wanted. The heat in Sun City becomes unbearable by 7:00am, so we had to start running as soon as the sun rose. 

Dad and I mapped our route to end at Starbucks, and afterwards we each enjoyed our first cup of espresso since the trip began. After four days of very little sleep, my body needed that boost of caffeine.

Getting up so early gave us the luxury of relaxing for the rest of the morning. We sipped and enjoyed our coffees on the veranda outside until it was too hot to sit, and then we sat in the air conditioned living room. Bev and Gus had locally grown grapefruits, and even though they are strictly not allowed by my current low-FODMAP diet, I couldn’t help but taste a small bite. The citrus fruit burst inside my mouth, yielding a delightfully tart juice that was the perfect balance between bitter and sweet. 

At noon, we left to go to Pam’s house. Pam is Bev’s eldest daughter. She lives in Fountain Hills, an hour away from Sun City. On the way, we chatted with Bev and Gus and shared stories and pictures from our latest life adventures. The hour flew by. Sooner than I realized, we were arriving at the mansion-sized homes situated on the sides of canyons, overlooking red rocks and the valley far below. 

Pam is a beautiful soul. There are some people who just seem to understand life at a different level. They are humble, loving and giving to no end. They are the kind of people you can spend hours with without even realizing the passage of time, and when you do leave, you feel better about yourself and inspired to love others well. This is the kind of person Pam is. She was an incredible hostess, and despite the fact that I had never met her before, she greeted me with love and treated me as if I was her own daughter. At the end of our visit, she hugged me tightly and requested I return any time I needed a place to sleep. 

While at Pam’s house, we spent time with her and her husband, Rick, as we savored our last moments with Steve and the kids. From here, we would part ways – Steve and the kids would return home while we drove back to Bev’s and Gus’ house. We talked and shared a commemorative last meal together. The hours ran away from us quicker than we could chase them, and before we knew it, it was time to say goodbye. 

Uncle Steve and Mom just before saying goodbye

It was hard to say farewell not knowing when I would see them again. Before this trip, I had not visited Steve in eight years; the kids had truly been children and toddlers, and I had been a mere freshman in high school. Now, those “kids” are almost full grown, and I have graduated from college, started a career, and gotten engaged. So much has happened since we last visited, and so much could happen before we see one another again. In another eight years, even the youngest will be a legal adult and I will be in my thirties. 

I hugged each of my relatives, requesting that, this time, we wouldn’t wait as long until we saw each other again. Thomas seemed the most upset by the separation; he gave me at least five earnest hugs, assuring me each time that he would come to visit me in Maryland next year. I really do hope that we can make that happen. 

After Steve and the kids left, we said goodbye to Pam and Rick and began the drive home. It was a somber mood in the car. Luckily, we had a sermon Pam recommended to distract us. The message was focused on kindness, and it used the movie “A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood” to lead its trajectory. 

Playing cards a few days ago at Steve’s house – from left to right: Sam, Kathleen, me, Thomas, Mom, and Jake

Kindness truly is what makes life beautiful. Mr. Rogers said the way to become successful in life is to be kind, and I think that must be true. I have never felt more fulfilled than after a day when I believed I truly did some good in this world, when I had been kind to others. The message reminded us that we should never so busy in our lives that we don’t realize or recognize when other people need help, and that we should extend kindness to all, even those who do not give it back to us. So many of us think of kindness as conditional; if someone is kind to one of us, we are kind back. But the beauty of true love – of God’s love – is that it is unconditional; there is nothing someone has to do to earn it, and, even more importantly, there is nothing someone can do to get rid of it. As Christ’s followers, we are called to love like that.

When we arrived home, the bittersweet taste had not left us. After such a long day and with another early morning ahead of us, we went to bed early. Lying in the guest bedroom, I couldn’t help but think back over the last few days of our trip.

It’s the finitude of moments in life that makes them both sweet and bitter. I can’t help but feel sad when wonderful moments come to an end. But endings are truly beautiful. Without them, we would not appreciate the time we have. Endings bring closure to long-awaited journeys and hope for an unknown future. Endings are what remind us to make the most of the moments we are in, and they are what make memories so precious. 

Eating dinner our first night at Steve’s house – from left to right: Thomas, Jake, me, Samuel, Kathleen, Mom, and Dad

The sermon today and the interactions I had with my family members also reminded me what makes endings a little sweet rather than only bitter. After all, there certainly are endings that leave us with only a bitter taste in our mouths. What gives moments meaning is the kindness exchanged within them. Love makes life worth living. 

The best way to make the most of the moment I am in is to focus on being kind to those around me. When I am that devoted to being kind and cognizant of others’ needs, it helps me to remember to be present with those around me. So, when those moments end and it is time to say goodbye, the farewell is not nearly as bitter because I have made so many fond memories with those I love. 

The most beautiful thing about today’s ending is that I know it is not final. While I am not sure when I will see these family members again, I do know that we will be reunited someday. The beauty of today’s ending is that, while this chapter has come to a close, the story is not yet finished.

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Arizona vacation: Day 4

After the excitement of last night, it was a relief to wake to a blessedly quiet morning. 

I began my day with a hot run into the neighborhoods nearby and down a biking path that yielded a spectacular view of the mountains. Sweat poured down my face, but the air was clean and filled my lungs enough to help me power through. As I ran, I admired the cacti that loomed threateningly, casting shadows over the path. When I looked down at my pounding feet, I caught sight of lizards scurrying by, searching for a shady spot to rest. Despite the heat of the desert, there is life hidden everywhere. 

I arrived home, sweaty and hot but feeling accomplished. I showered and got ready for the long day ahead. Then, I sat in the kitchen to a hot cup of coffee, took a deep breath, and drank in the serenity of the tranquil, desert morning.

Today was our last day in Tucson. Luckily for us, it is not quite time to say goodbye. We were able to postpone the inevitable farewells by having Steve and kids travel with us to Sun City to visit more family. However, there was one thing we had to do before leaving – I had promised Thomas that I would watch the new live action Aladdin movie with him. We were supposed to watch it last night, but after the excitement of the hospital visit, it was far too late and we were all far too tired to enjoy the viewing experience. Instead, we sat in the living room today with Jake, Samuel, my parents, and Steve to enjoy one of my favorite Disney princess movies reimagined. While watching, I played a game of cards with Steve, which was thoroughly entertaining. Steve is a master of cards, so he was a challenging opponent. Lucky for me, the game we played had a bit of luck worked in, so I was able to hang with him for most of the game. I lost, of course, but it was a still a match I could be somewhat proud of.

After the movie, all of us hurriedly got ready and packed our bags for our next destination. The car ride was long and lazy. Jake and Thomas dozed in the seats in front of me while Dad and Mom talked intermittently in quiet tones. We had all been up late last night and had little energy to spare because of it.

I thought Arizona would be about the same temperature anywhere we went. I discovered today that I was mistaken. Sun City, I realized, was aptly named. The sun was the most noticeable feature of the place. It scorched the land and beat down on us relentlessly. I started sweating in the sweltering heat as soon as I stepped out of the car.

We hurried inside, where we were greeted with a gracious air conditioned space. We had arrived at Bev’s and Gus’ house, my mother’s and Steve’s aunt and uncle. After their parents passed away, my Mom and Steve moved to live with Bev and Gus for the duration of their teenage years. I have not seen Bev and Gus since I was 11 years old.

Bev had prepared an extravagant spread for lunch, which we attacked like scavengers. It was now late in the afternoon and none of us had eaten since early in the morning. 

Gus and Bev looked like they had not aged a day since the last day I had seen them. Funnily enough, Bev said the same thing about me. We spent the afternoon and evening talking and catching up, sharing stories and reconnecting after years spent living across the country. 

Today was not an eventful day, but it was one of my favorites thus far. After the fear I felt last night from the scorpion attack, it was such a relief to have a relaxed day, surrounded by loving family members and the lazy, still desert atmosphere that discourages boisterous activity with its merciless heat. Today was a day to appreciate and remember just how blessed I am by the people I have in my life and the beauty of the world around me. I am used to speeding through life, always looking to the next activity, but it was a relief to slow down on this vacation and just appreciate the moment I was in. 

When I stop rushing through life, I realize just how truly beautiful it is and how fortunate I am to be able to experience it. 

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Arizona vacation: Day 3

What do you do when someone you love is hurt? 

The majority of our day in Arizona was uneventful. Everyone in the house seemed to be tired after the late night we had yesterday, so we decided to have a lazy day. We watched Hamilton and played games, and a couple of us even decided to enjoy an afternoon nap.

In the evening, Steve, Isabella, Kathleen, my mom, and I sat around the table to play cards. Dad retired to bed early, and Jake headed upstairs with Samuel and Thomas to play Mario Kart. Hours passed as we laughed and drank, determined to make the most of our last evening together in Tucson. 

Near the end of the game, Thomas and Samuel came bounding down the stairs, followed by Jake, who was holding his right leg awkwardly in front of him as he hopped on his left foot. 

“I was bitten by a scorpion,” he announced. A beat of silence followed this statement before all of us at the table stood. 

“You were what,” Mom demanded. 

“Bitten by a scorpion,” Jake repeated. He, ironically, seemed to be the calmest person in the room. 

“Where?” Steve asked. 

“In one of the bedrooms,” Jake said. “We were playing hide-and-seek.” 

“He’s probably gone by now,” Steve said. Despite this, he still followed Jake back upstairs to the bedroom. A moment later we could hear the stomping of a heavy shoe, the sound that told us the scorpion had been both found and killed. 

Mom ran out of the room to wake Dad, while I turned to the two girls.

“Get me some gauze and something sturdy to make a tourniquet,” I said. They both ran out of the room as I grabbed my phone to call 911. This, however, went out of my head as soon as Jake came back into the room. He rushed to his backpack, tore it open, and pulled out a military style belt, which he wrapped tightly around his upper leg. 

“It says to do a cold compress and to keep the area elevated,” Kathleen said as she returned, reading off her phone. Isabella followed her and set the gauze I had asked for on the table. 

“Tyler,” my mom called as she ran back into the room. “You’re driving.” 

“I can’t drive,” I exclaimed. 

“You need to,” she said. This, I realized a moment later, was true. Of all the adults present, I was the most sober. 

Steve thankfully remembered to call 911 as I left the room to grab the car keys. I went to start the car, but after waiting for a few moments, I realized my family was not following. I ran back inside. 

“Jake, you are going to cut off circulation to your leg,” I heard my mom say. “Loosen it up a bit.”

“No,” I exclaimed, rushing into the room. “That’s what a tourniquet is supposed to do.” Jake was lying on the couch, his foot elevated on my dad’s shoulder. 

“How do you feel,” I asked him. 

“It hurts,” he said to me with a smile. His jovial attitude reassured me. Steve walked into the room saying it was recommended we take Jake to the hospital. We helped Jake hop to the car, where I returned to my spot in the driver’s seat. 

Luckily, I had drank very little, and we arrived at the hospital 20 minutes later. I dropped Jake off at the Emergency Room with our parents and then parked the car. Jake’s last request to me as he hobbled out was to keep his girlfriend, Jess, updated. I reassured him that I would, so the first thing I did in that hospital waiting room was send her a text of what I knew. 

My parents and I waited in silence. A few minutes ticked by before the doctor emerged. 

“He is going to be fine,” she said. “I gave him an ice pack, and we are going to monitor him to make sure he doesn’t have a reaction.”

“How long will that take,” my mom asked. 

“At least an hour,” she said. “Also, unfortunately, because of COVID, you all can’t wait here. You can wait in your car, or you can go home, and he can call you when he is ready.” 

We walked out of the hospital, each a little torn on what to do. When we got back in the car, my dad asked my mom if she wanted to stay or go. 

“I guess we can go back to the house,” she said. I, personally, wanted to stay in the parking lot. I knew if it had been me in that room, it would be reassuring to know that my family members were so close by. But I reversed the car and drove out of the parking lot.

As we were driving back, Mom received a call from Steve. She relayed to him what the doctor had told us, and then she said that she was going to drop off me and Dad at the house and then return to the hospital. When she got off of the phone, there was a short pause before I spoke.

“I didn’t know you were planning on dropping us off at the house,” I said. 

“Neither did I,” Dad said.

“If I had known, I would have just stayed at the hospital,” I said. “I don’t want to just wait at home.” 

“Yeah, you’re not going back to the hospital alone,” Dad said. The bit of composure Mom had held onto until this point finally left her, and she broke down in tears. 

“Then you make the decision, David,” she said. “I don’t want to make it.”

“Okay, let’s go back to the house,” Dad said, thinking practically. “It’s only 20 minutes away and we are already almost there. And when Jake calls, we will go straight back.” Mom agreed, but her tears only intensified. I checked the GPS and saw we were halfway between the house and hospital. With a deep breath, I pulled over the car onto a side road. 

“This isn’t your turn,” Mom said. 

“I know,” I replied. I parked the car and then turned to her. 

“What do you want to do?” I asked. Mom didn’t answer me. “I think we should go back,” I said. 

“You should ask your dad,” Mom said. 

“It’s not about what I want,” Dad said. “It’s about what you want. What do you want to do?” Mom didn’t answer. 

“Okay,” I said, putting the car back into drive. “We’re going back to the hospital. That’s clearly what you want to do. It’s what we all want to do.” I turned the car around and headed back down the highway. A few moments of silence passed before Mom spoke. 

“Thank you,” she said quietly. At this moment, Dad’s phone began to ring. It was good that we turned around when we did because it was Jake calling – the hospital needed insurance information. 

I drove back to the emergency room entrance, and Dad left the car. Through the windows, I could see Jake standing with a nurse in the waiting room. 

“That’s Jake,” Mom exclaimed tearfully. “He’s standing up! That must mean he’s okay and he’s ready to come home, right?” She turned to me, her eyes hopeful and desperate, as if confirmation of this question was the lifeline she needed. 

“I don’t know,” I told her. Mom bit her lip and looked back out the windshield, and then she rushed out of the car to greet her son, who was exiting the hospital. The two of them returned with Dad to the car. 

My family. From left to right, Jake, Jess, Dad, me, and Mom

Jake was still in high spirits. On the ride home, he finally told us the full story: He had run into Steve’s bedroom during a game of hide-and-seek. The scorpion had been hiding right in the shadows behind the doorway. Jake said the sting had not hurt as bad as he would have thought. At first, he thought maybe it was a splinter. Then, after looking at it, he saw the area was red and swollen, so he thought maybe he had stepped on a bee. He used his phone flashlight to see what he had stepped on, and that’s when he saw the small, spider-like creature. 

He did tell us it is actually not a good idea to use a tourniquet when stung or bit by a venomous animal. 

“I knew it,” Mom exclaimed. The doctors had told Jake that using a tourniquet restricts all the venom in a high consistency to one area, so when the tourniquet is taken off, they have no way  of controlling the venom spread into the rest of the body. It is better to elevate the bitten or stung area and let the venom seep slowly, in a more controlled state, through the bloodstream. 

We returned to the house, where Jake’s main concern was where the scorpion was now. To his immense disappointment, Steve told him it had been flushed down the toilet. He had wanted to keep it, or at least get a picture, as a souvenir of his experience. 

What do you do when someone you love is hurt? It’s difficult to know what to do, and everyone reacts differently. Some of us are overwhelmed by our own empathy and emotions; no one likes seeing someone they love in pain. Others become cool headed and practical, thinking only of the logical next step. Some become rooted to the spot, paralyzed with fear, while others snap into action as if they have been training for this for years. The interesting thing is there is no way to predict how you will react until you are in the situation; there is no way to prepare for the swarm of nauseating emotions or rush of adrenaline that will hit you. And the unfortunate thing is that you are most likely to make mistakes or do something unhelpful, such as recommending a tourniquet for a wound that shouldn’t have it, or being so overwhelmed by choices to make that you become too petrified to make any decision for fear it will be wrong. 

Me and my brother

What we can’t do is let these mistakes and shortcomings dismay us. After all, having made these errors means we did do the most important thing anyone can for someone in pain: We were there. We were present with the person who was hurting, and we did what we could and what we knew how to do. I am so grateful for each of my family members and the different skills they brought to the table, and I am especially appreciative for the doctors who knew what Jake actually needed. 

And now that I am out of the situation and can finally think about how I feel, I am so very grateful that my brother is safe and healthy. His good sense of humor, kind disposition, and relaxed approach to life are always things I have admired and loved, and I could not imagine my life without my younger brother. 

What do you do when someone you love is hurt? Hopefully, you just get the chance to be there with them. 

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