Travel

Honeymoon West Coast road trip: San Diego (Days 1-3)

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Joseph & me on Mission Beach, San Diego

After over a year, we are finally back on the road!

Because of busy work schedules & the COVID-19 pandemic, Joseph & I spent the last year mostly in our homes, waiting for the opportune time to resume our travels. When it came time to plan our honeymoon, it didn’t seem there was any question in what we would do. Now given the opportunity to splurge a little, we decided to book a flight to one of the distant states that would be most difficult to cross off of our 50-state bucket list. To make the most of it, we planned a two-week road trip to knock three west coast states off of our list: California, Oregon & Washington. 

Joseph & I awoke far too early Monday morning, less than two full days after we tied the knot. A two-week road trip & a DIY wedding both require a lot of forethought & planning, which meant we were up late Sunday night packing our bags & making sure we had everything we needed. Around 10:30 that night, I finally crashed & took myself to bed, & Joseph joined me an hour & a half later, meaning when we awoke, I had gained a mere three hours of sleep, & Joseph had just half of that. Despite this, our excitement pulled us out of bed & tackling our first to-do’s.

I absolutely hate flying. I’m not as afraid of it as I used to be, but I just find it immensely uncomfortable. I’m not the type of person who can sit in one place for very long, so sitting for hours on end in an uncomfortable chair flying in the sky is not my idea of a luxury vacation. To get all of my jitters out, I went for a short three-mile run our street-lamp lit neighborhood. Meanwhile, Joseph drove to a nearby Wawa to buy coffee & breakfast for our awesome best man & brother, Jon, who was getting up far too early after a very busy weekend to drive us to the airport. 

Checking our bags & security went smoothly. I haven’t flown much in my life, but, thankfully, I remembered everything I needed from my family trip to Arizona last year & I was able to guide us through our first checkpoints. Joseph ordered some Chick-fil-A for breakfast, & we sat together, butterflies in our stomach, waiting to board our flight. 

The sunrise view from our airplane window

Our first flight was four-and-a-half hours long. For the first hour, we tried in vain to get some sleep. When that proved fruitless, I got out my computer to enter our road trip itinerary into my calendar, & to open a new document & write down absolutely everything I remembered from our wedding day. Joseph pulled out his laptop as well to sort through hours of precious footage from our the same day. We had not payed for a videographer; instead, we had asked members of our wedding party & family to capture videos from our day to compile our own vlog (stay tuned for that!). Everyone we asked went above & beyond what we ever expected or even dreamed of, & I was brought to tears multiple times peering over Joseph’s shoulder at the screen. 

We had a two-and-a-half hour layover in Phoenix, where we got some brunch. With the time change & how early we woke up, we were both bleary-eyed, exhausted & very hungry at what was now 8:00 in the morning. To eat what we both figured would be our final healthy meal of the trip, we ordered some salads from Panera Bread & sat down next to some fellow travelers, one of whom now lived in Phoenix after traveling for years in her camper! Traveling full-time is something that comes up frequently in Joseph’s & my conversations, but for now, I think we are content just making it a regular part of our life together while continuing to live close to family & pursuing our respective careers. 

Our second flight was just a little over an hour. We sat down next to a woman named Melissa, who was traveling home from sending one of her daughters to college & watching the other daughter get engaged! We spent a good portion of the flight chatting about weddings & things to do in San Diego. She recommended to us a restaurant in Old Town San Diego called Casa de Reyes for some authentic Mexican food, which we immediately added to our notes, & she also gave us the name of a biking trail off of the boardwalk that sounded like fun.  

We finally arrived in sunny San Diego in the early afternoon. We stepped out into the warm, summer air with excited smiles on our faces. We called for an Uber to take us to an Airbnb, a cozy loft apartment over our host’s home that featured a balcony overlooking a neatly manicured yard with a thick palm tree growing up through the center.

Me on Mission Beach, San Diego

We changed into our bathing suits & headed first to Mission Beach. Our first look at the West Coast was exhilarating. The ocean waves crashed deafeningly against the sand, sending a wind up to the boardwalk that blew back our hair & clothes. 

The one thing we didn’t expect was how chilly the beach & water would be. I knew the California coast would be cooler than Maryland, but the water was absolutely freezing. Coupling that with the cooler, low-humidity California air made for a much chillier beach experience than I was expecting. We both ran into the waves to at least be able to say that we plunged into the Pacific Ocean, & then we decided to walk along the boardwalk instead. 

For dinner, we had reservations at Bandar Restaurant in the Gaslamp Quarter, a Persian restaurant that we found excellent reviews for online. Globe lights hung from the awning, while dim light filled the dining room. Since it was our first fancy night out of our honeymoon, we ordered a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon to enjoy with our meal. For starters, we ordered the best spanakopita I have ever tasted (salty, creamy & with a perfectly balanced herby, spinach & feta flavor) & a basil pesto hummus with thin, crispy, pita bread squares. For dinner, Joseph ordered Barg, a marinated & charbroiled filet mignon served with basmati & saffron rice, & I ordered the Wild King Salmon, which was also charbroiled  & seasoned with garlic, lemon & saffron & served with grilled vegetables. Both dishes were good, but I wish we had shared. It was so much food – I would have preferred smaller dishes with more variety of flavors rather than the large slab of meat. But it was still delicious & gave us lots of leftovers.

Joseph at Bandar Restaurant. We ordered spanakopita & pesto hummus with pita bread for our appetizers.

We headed back to our Airbnb & finally crashed in bed around 11:00. We had been awake for a full 24 hours after only a few hours rest & were desperately in need for a good night’s sleep.

Despite the lack of rest, we still woke up at a decent time Tuesday morning feeling ready to explore. We headed first to Mission Beach, where we rented bikes & explored the trail Melissa had recommended. We ended up biking about 13 miles, & although it was tiring, we had a blast. The water was gorgeous, & our trail led us around the entirety of Mission Bay & through the streets of busy San Diego.

Me biking on the boardwalk at Mission Beach

Famished from our long ride, we headed to Old Town San Diego for lunch. Again, per Melissa’s suggestion, we went to Casa de Reyes, & we were not disappointed. For a starter, we had chips with homemade salsa & fresh guacamole topped with chopped tomatoes & queso fresco. Within seconds of our starter being served, our main dish was also brought to our table on large warm plates. I ordered ‘Armadillo’ shrimp, which were bacon wrapped shrimp stuffed with crab & pepperjack cheese & drizzled with a creamy & spicy chipotle aioli. On the side was black beans with cheese & a zesty & fresh-tasting corn salad. Joseph ordered Mar y Tierra, which included the ‘Armadillo’ shrimp as well as succulent grilled skirt steak, frijoles puercos served in a corn tortilla, ensalada de nopales, guacamole, & pico de gallo served with warm flour tortillas. I have never had more delicious Mexican food. It was the perfect balance of salt, spice, & subtle sweetness that delighted our taste buds. To drink, Joseph ordered an El Rey Mojito made with Matusalem rum & agave nectar instead of sugar, & I ordered a specialty margarita called La Riviera Maya, which was a refreshing yet sweet blend of Frida Kahlo blanco tequila, Matusalem rum, coconut, strawberry, & pineapple juice.

Fresh guacamole served at Casa de Reyes

Stuffed from lunch, we decided to stroll around the town. Surrounding the restaurant were a number of small shops filled with items shipped from Mexico or made by local artisans. We stumbled into a vegan chocolate shop, & despite still being full, we couldn’t help ourselves from ordering a small truffle each & a hot latte. Nibble Chocolate is a healthy chocolate store that makes its candy with just two ingredients: fresh cacao & sugar. There is no added milk or additives for preservation or added creaminess. Despite this, it is some of the creamiest, most delicious chocolate I have ever tasted. I ordered a lemon truffle, which had just the perfect amount of fresh lemon flavor to not be overbearing but to add just a touch of acid to the normally sweet treat. Joseph ordered a coffee truffle, & we both ordered lattes to go. 

We continued walking into the nearby state park, where we visited Cousin’s Candy Shop to buy some freshly pulled salt water taffy for later (Joseph had never tried salt water taffy before!), & then continued window shopping until we were ready to go back to the Airbnb. We walked over a mile to a nearby grocery store to pick up some essentials for our upcoming road trip, & then took an Uber back to our Airbnb to rest after another long day. 

For our third & final day in San Diego, we woke up early & headed to Balboa Park, where we hiked the Florida Canyon Trail. I have never seen succulents so big! They were just as large as the cacti we passed. I wish the ones in my pots at home grew to that size. 

A cacti growing on the Florida Canyon Trail in Balboa Park, San Diego

After completing the short trek, it was time to visit one of the spots I was most looking forward to – the San Diego Zoo. I love animals, & I bought us tickets to the zoo months ago. As always, the elephants were my favorite, & we spent a large chunk of our time watching them walk around & eat. I got a little sad when I saw the polar bears in the summer heat, but a quick search online assured me that they are comfortable in the San Diego climate. The San Diego Zoo is committed to animal care & conservation of endangered species around the world, which is why I felt at ease visiting. As Joseph & I walked around, it was apparent that the zoo had made large efforts to keep the animals as comfortable & content as possible. Every section of the zoo was like walking into a new habitat, & all of the different animal homes were spacious, some of which even extending over top of the trail & into large rooms we had to carefully enter to not let them escape by accident.

The entrance to the San Diego Zoo

We ate a semi-satisfactory meal at the Treetop Cafe (the food was good, but over-priced, as zoo food tends to be), & then we headed back into Balboa Park to explore. We went into the Spanish Village Art Center, where a number of local artisans had created shops filled with detailed paintings, delicate pottery, life-size statues, & more. We stopped by Daniel’s Coffee for some refreshments, & then walked around Balboa Park, stopping to stroll around the botanical gardens, admired the architecture, & listen to musicians.

As the afternoon waned, we called an Uber & headed to the Gaslamp Quarter, where we perused the shops until it was time for our reservation at The Lion’s Share. We had made the reservation when we saw that the restaurant offered charcuterie, the meal we served at our wedding. Because we ate very little at our reception, we wanted to have the chance to eat this delicious dish again. We sat down at our table & were surprised when our server brought us two glasses of champagne to toast our nuptials. We ordered the charcuterie, a starter on the menu, & enjoyed it with our sparkling wine. The charcuterie board changes daily at The Lion’s Share to feature whatever is most fresh – on this day, it had goat cheese, honey, strawberry compote, pickled mushrooms & cauliflower, whole-grain mustard, imported meats from Italy, & even more mouth-watering foods to create endless delicious combinations. 

We were still hungry after finishing, so we ordered Duck in a Hole (another starter) & the Seared Scallops to share for an entreé. To drink, I ordered the Treehouse Realtor, a fruity mix of tequila, Campari, passionfruit, lime & soda, & Joseph ordered the St. Elizabeth Sexy Party, a much more bitter drink made with bourbon, cinnamon, chocolate bitters, & allspice dram. The Duck in a Hole could easily be my new favorite brunch dip. The runny egg yolk was tamed with creamy gravy & the savory duck, while the herb salad on the side gave a touch of earthiness. We sopped up the leftovers with the thick, perfectly buttered & toasted slice of bread. The seared scallops were served over a bed of soft couscous with a pool of creamy garlic sauce, & the result was a dreamy combination of saltiness & tang that was balanced by the delicate starchy flavor of the couscous. We cleared our plates &, despite our stomachs being full, still stared longingly at the menu, wanting to try more.

Duck in a Hole, served at The Lion’s Share

We took an Uber home & spent the evening organizing & re-packing our bags for the adventure ahead. Tomorrow, we will be renting a truck & heading to Los Angeles to officially begin the road trip portion of our honeymoon.

It feels so good to be back on the road. After over a year-long hiatus, Joseph & I both immediately feel back at home. Traveling is one of the things we do best together. Working together & exploring new cultures & experiences brings us closer, making it the perfect activity to do for our honeymoon. It’s ironic to me that we began our travels together just after the proposal, & now here we are, resuming our travels just after our wedding. I simply cannot thank enough all of the people who have supported us & helped to get us to this moment. We would not be who we are without you. 

Now, let’s go on another (long-awaited) adventure together.

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How to travel during COVID-19

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Joseph and me during our road trip to Colorado

Note: This post contains affiliate links. If you purchase a product after clicking the associated link, I will earn a small commission off of that purchase.

It seems like the novel coronavirus is not going anywhere soon, so we have all been tasked with finding ways to navigate this “new normal.” For travel enthusiasts, like me, that can be a difficult task considering the amount of risk and restriction associated with travel. Airports are practically a breeding ground for the virus, and every country and state has different mandates about how and when people are allowed to visit. 

It is recommended to stay at home as much as possible unless travel is essential, but sometimes, we all need to step outside of our homes for our own mental health. If that’s you, consider using these tips to keep your travels as safe as possible.

1. Do your research

Research your own state’s laws and the laws of the state or country you are planning to travel to. Know what the restrictions are and what is required of you, such as having an extended quarantine when you arrive at your destination or after you return home. If you can limit your travel to within your own state, that’s even safer, and it can be more realistic if you can’t take the time off to quarantine from your job.

2. Wear a mask

Joseph and me on a main street in Leesburg, Virginia, where we were visiting Joseph’s sister, Jo, and her husband, Dan

Whether your state or the place you are visiting requires it, wear a mask. The most recent research shows that this protects not only the people around you, but yourself as well. Make sure the mask you are wearing is approved by the CDC, and please wear it over your mouth and nose. Both your mouth and nose lead to your respiratory system, so there is absolutely no point in leaving your nose exposed.

3. Go somewhere within driving distance

Joseph and me at Rocky Gap State Park during our road trip through Western Maryland

If you can, avoid international travel or travel to faraway states that requires a plane ride. Airports pose a much larger risk of contracting and spreading the virus than your own vehicle. If you can stay within your own state, even better. But if you want to travel out-of-state, consider the idea of road tripping there. The great part of this is driving to your destination enables you to see more of the scenery and to stop at other places along the way that seem fun or interesting. Make a road trip playlist (or use mine below) to listen to some entertaining tunes along the way. 

4. Keep your hands as clean as possible

Wash your hands frequently, and keep a bottle of hand sanitizer in your car for times when you can’t. Keeping your hands clean dramatically reduces your chance to contracting and spreading the virus. And remember, even when you think your hands are clean, do NOT touch your face!

5. Stay away from other people as much as possible

Me hiking in Aspen, Colorado during Joseph’s and my road trip to Colorado

If you are traveling simply to get out of the house, consider alternatives to hotel stays and popular tourist attractions. Hiking, fishing, and other outdoor activities are great alternatives to walking busy streets. Consider packing your own food or getting takeout rather than dining at a restaurant. And while the weather is still warm, camping can be a more affordable and safer alternative to hotel stays. 

6. Make it worth the trip

Joseph at Dan’s Rock Scenic Overlook during our Western Maryland road trip

Traveling to other places is fun, but it only seems worth it when you really get to experience those places. The good news is that the tourist attractions are often not the best way to achieve this – the best way to experience a place is to go where the locals go. So, again, do your research. Make a list of the places you want to visit and things you want to do that are low-risk, such as visiting national parks, scenic points, local eateries that are offering carry-out, and main streets in small towns.

7. Get tested for COVID-19 when you come home

Whether your state recommends it or not, a safe step you can take at the end of your trip is getting tested for COVID-19 as soon as you return and quarantining until you get the results. Waiting to interact with other people until you know you’re safe can help prevent the spreading of the virus to dozens of people. It’s always better to be safe than sorry, so if you are willing to take the risk of traveling, consider making sure that you are the only one who experiences any potential consequences of that choice. 

Traveling can be a great way to take care of your mental health and get active in your daily life, but during times like this, it should always be done with caution and forethought. Don’t stop living life, but make sure when you do embark on any adventures, you are doing so safely for yourself and others. 

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Pennsylvania day trip

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When the novel coronavirus changed the world in March, it was difficult to imagine what a future would look like. I took my life day by day, watching, observing, and trying to construct some form of comfort and continuity in my life. 

In the five months that have passed since that time, it has still been a struggle to find solace in a world that is rapidly changing around me. I have spent far too much time trying to plan for a future that is still mostly unknown. The few things that have brought me some consolation are the people in my life and the adventures I have taken now that my schedule is oddly free. It was these two things that brought me to Pennsylvania.

Traveling during the coronavirus can be daunting, especially when restrictions are constantly changing. However, after checking the latest travel restrictions this past week, I made plans to visit the state just next door to me where two people I was very excited to see are currently living. 

Since the start of the pandemic, I have not seen any friends in person. Apart from my new fiancé and a few of his family members, I have socially distanced myself from everyone. I have heard it has been suggested to call social distancing “physical distancing” to encourage people to still have social interactions through less conventional means, such as Zoom or FaceTime. Unfortunately, in my case, physical distancing really did become social distancing – text messages went unanswered and video calls became less frequent as people have grown tired of the constant screen time and so little authentic time spent with people. 

Caitlin & me at Stevenson University’s Relay for Life in 2018

So, when Caitlin and Mark agreed to meet for dinner in their town of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, I jumped at the chance to do a little more traveling and see two people I have dearly missed.

Caitlin and I became friends my first year at Stevenson University, and we have been close ever since. She invited me to come with her to Campus Crusade for Christ, an organization on campus focused on helping college students grow in their faith. It was there that I met Mark, who was one of the leaders in the club. The following year, Caitlin and Mark started dating. It was obvious from the beginning of their relationship that the two of them were perfect for one another. This past June, just 10 days after my own engagement, Mark proposed. So, this dinner was not just one to catch up, but to celebrate the life milestone we had all taken very recently. 

Joseph and I woke up early Saturday morning to get a jumpstart on our traveling. It is on our bucket list to visit all 50 states, and this was our chance to cross Pennsylvania off our list. 

In order to officially say we visited a state, there are a couple of things we have agreed we need to do. We have to explore a main street, eat (or drink) at a local restaurant, hike at a national park, and visit a tourist or scenic spot. Once we have done all of these things, we can go to a local Starbucks to buy our “Been There” series mug.

So far this summer, we have visited Colorado, Maryland and Virginia. Suffice it to say, I was very excited to add a fourth mug to our collection that has been growing on my windowsill. 

Our first stop was Gettysburg National Military Park, a place shrouded in American history. The morning was thankfully still cool when we began our relaxed, four-mile hike on the Johnny Reb Trail. The paved path wound through cemeteries and monuments commemorating the lives of fallen soldiers and to tell the story of the Battle of Gettysburg. Stone statues marked the spots where the infantry moved during the fight. According to the National Park Service website, the Battle of Gettysburg was a turning point during the Civil War that helped secure the eventual victory of the Union. Known for being the bloodiest battle of the Civil War, it was this particular battle that inspired President Lincoln’s famous “Gettysburg Address.” 

Our next stop was Starbucks. It was a little early in the day to already be buying our mug, but we knew we wouldn’t check off all our destinations until that night, and since it was now late morning, we were both desperate for coffee. We bought our mug and two lattes, and then we headed to downtown Gettysburg to walk Steinwehr Avenue, our main street of choice for the day.

While we had been hiking, I had seen people dressed in nineteenth-century style clothing. I had assumed these people were tour guides or people doing reenactments at the park. However, as we walked down the street, we saw multiple people dressed in the same garb. Some played the part of their costume, talking as if they had just stepped off the battlefield, while others I caught checking their cell phones that they had hidden away in their petticoats. Either way, their attire alongside the classic architecture and shops filled with historical artifacts created an immersive experience I thoroughly enjoyed. 

After walking around town, we drove to Lancaster. Our dinner reservation was not for a few hours, but we had bought tickets to ride on the Strasburg Railroad, the oldest continuously operating railroad in the country. According to the Strasburg Railroad website, the railroad was founded in 1832 to transport both freight and passengers across Pennsylvania. Neither Joseph nor I had ever ridden on a train before. We excitedly boarded the bright red locomotive and sat across from each other on the bench seats. When the whistle blew and the train chugged out of the station, we stuck our heads out of the windows to feel the wind against our faces and to watch the corn fields whizz past. 

While riding, we were treated to learning a bit of Pennsylvania history, culture and superstition. We were told that it had been this train that had taken Abraham Lincoln and his wife, Mary, to his inauguration in 1861. Unfortunately, a mere four years later, it was also the train that had taken Mary and the body of the deceased president back home. Out our windows, we were able to see Amish farmers working in the fields while we learned from our tour guide about the plain lifestyle. Almost halfway through our trip, the train came to a full stop, and our guide encouraged us to be very quiet so we could hear the ghost whistle of the engine on the Lancaster, Oxford and Southern Railway, which has been out of service since 1918. Our train’s whistle pierced the air, and without a second’s delay, another whistle answered. 

“Is it an echo,” I asked Joseph at the same time he turned to me and posed the same question.

“Did someone ask if it was an echo,” our tour guide asked jovially over the loudspeaker. “I am so disappointed. We pay that farmer 27 dollars a day just to whistle back at us.”  I laughed, unsure if the guide was joking or not. I guess we will never know for sure if it is an echo, another whistle, or if there really is a ghost locomotive riding the rails in Pennsylvania.

We had a little extra time between the end of our ride and dinner, so we headed to downtown Lancaster to walk another main street. As soon as we stepped out of the car, a candy store caught my eye. I ran to it like an excited child while Joseph lagged behind. 

Sweetish Candy is a Swedish candy and hygge shop that sells imported Scandinavian goods, including a plethora of sweets made with wholesome ingredients. Entranced by all the goodies, we bought two bars of Icelandic bitter chocolate made with Icelandic sea salt and bourbon vanilla. After spending so much time roaming around the shop we had very little left to explore the main street, so we headed back to our car to go to dinner. A nearby gas station bathroom served as our spot to get ready, so when we walked into the restaurant, we looked as if we had not been running around in the humid Pennsylvania heat all day.

We met Cait and Mark at Loxley’s, a popular, upscale restaurant in Pennsylvania. To enter, we walked across a bridge that overlooked a manmade pond filled with ginormous lily pads and big, bright orange fish. Our friends, who had arrived a few minutes before us, were seated on the patio outside. We greeted each other with hugs and exclamations of congratulations. As our waiter, Jonah, served us drinks and appetizers, Caitlin and I studied each other’s rings while we all had the chance to share the stories of our proposals and how life and wedding planning has been going since then. Once dinner was served, we turned the conversation to what post-graduation life has been like, to our work lives, and to sharing how general life during a pandemic has affected each of us. The world grew dark around us as we continued talking long after the plates had been cleared and our glasses had emptied, enjoying the experience of finally being able to talk with close friends without a screen placed between us. 

As Cait and I both began to yawn, Joseph and Mark called an end to the evening. We hugged goodbye, promising to visit again soon, and then each returned to our own cars. On the drive home, I felt a sense of peace that I have not yet experienced since the beginning of the pandemic. Life has not returned to normal, and I don’t think it ever will, but the day’s adventures had been a reassurance that this new way of living can still be just as enjoyable and exciting.

Traveling through a place filled with history was a reminder to me of just how much the world has changed and how much it will continue to change throughout my life. Walking around town surrounded by people in bonnets and top hats reminded me that wearing a mask is simply the latest change in fashion, and to be perfectly honest, I would happily choose to wear that than the corsets I saw those other women donning. Like the first gunshot fired during a war, the novel coronavirus changed the world as we know it forever, and we are now in the midst of understanding what this new world will be like. However, in the thick of all this uncertainty, there are two things I now know for sure that have given me hope: First, that life is always changing, so the best way to live life to the fullest is to embrace the new and seek to find ways to still confront and encounter even more novel experiences. And secondly, it will always be the people in my life and the relationships I have built that will bring me comfort in times of elation and struggle, and though it may try, social distancing cannot take that away from me. 

Life is not what it used to be, but hopefully, with a little mindset shift and perhaps a little extra effort, we can make it even better than what we ever envisioned.

P.S. Joseph has launched his vlog! Check out his perspective of today’s events by watching the video below. If you like it, please consider subscribing to his YouTube channel – every follow helps.

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Virginia overnight trip

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The phone call came late on Tuesday afternoon. 

While we were making dinner, Joseph’s sister, Joanna, called to ask if we wanted to visit her and her husband, Dan, in Virginia. They moved to Leesburg nearly six months ago, and although they live only an hour and a half away, we had not yet had the chance to visit. Joseph is about to start graduate school, and I am about to leave for a trip, so we did not have much availability in our schedules. When Joseph told Joanna this, she proposed we visit the next day. 

We agreed. After Joseph got off of the phone, I proposed that we turn this visit into a longer stay. We have made it our quest to visit all 50 states plus Washington, D.C., and this was an opportunity to cross Virginia off of our list.

It may sound spur of the moment, but after planning for a two-and-a-half week Colorado road trip in only a few days, this seemed almost simple. 

So, we packed snacks we had left over from our last trip, stuffed our clothes into overnight bags, and planned for where we wanted to visit during our trip. 

To officially say that we visited a state, there are a couple of things we have agreed we need to do. We want to walk a main street, eat (or drink) at a local restaurant, hike at a national park, and visit a tourist or scenic spot. Only after completing all of these tasks can we visit a Starbucks and purchase our souvenir: A mug from the “Been There” series.

For this trip, we knew we would cross off the main street and local eatery with Joanna and Dan. After some research, we decided to hike at Shenandoah National Park and then visit Luray Caverns. It was an extra two hours of driving away from home, but we knew it would be worth it.

On Wednesday, we arrived in Virginia during the hottest part of the afternoon. As soon as we stepped out of the car, I was reminded that the hot and muggy weather in Maryland does not even compare to the moist heat in Virginia.

Joanna and Dan were both still at work when we arrived. Luckily, Joanna had sent us some ideas of things to do. We went to Ball’s Bluff Battlefield Regional Park, one of her favorite hiking spots. The park is the site where the Battle of Balls Bluff during the Civil War took place. It was interesting walking around the silent, serene trails, knowing it was a spot drenched in bloody history. This was a spot where the Confederate Army had won the fight. According to the American Battlefield Trust, the Union had 1,002 casualties that day. 

After hiking, we went to visit Joanna and Dan at their apartment. It was an exciting reunion. We have not seen either of them in months, and the four of us have not spent time alone together in almost a year. 

Joanna and Dan treated us to SideBar, a restaurant in downtown Leesburg. Like many of the businesses on the street, the restaurant was situated in renovated homes built in the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries. The food was delicious. Our favorite dish was the sweet potato fries, which were topped with candied bacon and brie, and served with a maple sriracha sauce.

During dinner, the four of us got to talking about the Black Lives Matter movement and how it has affected the lives of those closest to us. It seems like so many people have different opinions on this movement. The four of us all fully support the peaceful protests, though we know that if we really want to see change happen, it starts with us in our personal lives. Joanna and Dan had a number of recommended podcasts for us to listen to, including 1619, an audio series created by the New York Times to enlighten listeners about the history of slavery in America and how it has impacted our country today. 1619 was the year the first enslaved Africans were brought to this country. What the four of us agreed on most is that, through all of this, the best way we can help is to educate ourselves on what has happened and what is happening in America, and then we can know better what we can do to help.

“We’ve learned that we have to speak up,” Joanna told us. “It’s not enough to just not say or do racist things. We have to call others out when they are doing something racist. And we have to be comfortable looking at ourselves and discovering where we may have biases, too.”

After dinner, we walked along the main street, taking in the sights and soaking in the historical significance of the place. We passed by homes that had been built centuries ago and signs commemorating the significant moments that had taken place there. The most notable things were the Civil War artifacts and commemorative items. According to the Thomas Balch Library website, Leesburg (originally called George Town) was built in 1740; it was named after the Lee family in 1758. We stopped at a sign in front of an old house on the street, where Robert E. Lee was treated for battle wounds he incurred during the Second Battle of Manassas (this battle occurred a little less than a year after the Battle of Balls Bluff – it was also a Confederate victory). As we walked, we passed by more historical markers, including Confederate statutes that, according to Joanna and Dan, the local government is debating removing.

On our way back to our car, we passed by a house on the market that the real estate agent, who was sitting on the front porch, claimed to be haunted. I grudgingly agreed to look around  the house with my enthusiastic companions. We did not personally witness any paranormal activity, but the vibes in the home were disturbing to say the least, and I was grateful when we decided to leave.

We returned to the apartment, where we relaxed and spent more time with Joseph’s family, my soon-to-be relatives. I am so very grateful for their hospitality. It felt good to finally have the chance to catch up with them and what has been happening in their lives. Besides the fact that Joseph is more than the man I ever dreamed of marrying, I cannot believe I am so lucky that his family members are some of the kindest, most generous people I have ever met. I am very excited to be a part of this family.

When we awoke the following morning, Joanna and Dan had already left for work. Joseph and I ate a quick breakfast, and then we packed our belongings and headed out for another day of adventure.

The drive to Shenandoah was almost like déjà vu. The mountains in the distance were reminiscent of the Colorado landscape we had been traveling through not long ago. Despite these mountains being smaller than their western counterparts, they were still magnificent. They stretched so high into the sky that their tips were hidden away by the white clouds.

We drove up to Stony Man Mountain, a decent hike with breathtaking views of the world below. Little Stony Man had the greatest view; from there we could see Skyline Drive winding through the trees far below. We continued hiking to the top of the summit where we were greeted with, not a view of the world below, but that of the one above. Instead of looking out at mountains and trees, we walked straight into a cloud. A white haze engulfed us while a cool mist ran across our hot, sweaty skin, shielding us from the oppressive Virginia heat. It was not the finale we were expecting to our hike, but it was one of the neatest experiences I have had at the top of a mountain.

Our next stop was Luray Caverns. I had visited the attraction when I was a young child, and while I remembered very few specifics, I could recall how fantastic the views were. Joseph, who had never been, was more skeptical.

“Where are the caverns,” he asked as we drove into the parking lot. “Are they behind the buildings?”

“They’re beneath us,” I told him with a smile. I could tell that I had piqued his interested, but he still balked at the $30 entrance fee.

As soon as we stepped into the cavern, the air chilled around us as if we had been plunged into cold water. We traveled deeper into the darkness, gazing in wonder at the rocks growing up around us. The packet we had been given for our self-guided tour told us that the caverns have been growing, inch by inch, over hundreds of millions of years. At every turn, Joseph and I tapped on each other’s shoulders and pointed to different, incredible sights. We gazed together in wonder at Mirror Lake, the largest body of water in Luray Caverns. The water projects a perfect mirror image of the ceiling above, which gives it the illusion that it is several feet deep and filled with stalagmites (when, in actuality, it has only 20 inches of water at its deepest point). Thin rock formations hung from the ceiling like veils while deep hollows plunged into darkness beside us. In one room, we were greeted by ethereal music, played like a music box from an organ that uses the speleothems around it to produce the different notes.

“This was definitely worth $30,” Joseph told me, and I beamed. 

On our way home, we visited Starbucks to buy lattes and our Virginia mug, the reward for our efforts. By the time we got home, we were tired and hungry, but the burgers in the fridge and pint of ice cream waiting in the freezer were a welcome change from the makeshift meals we had made during our road trip in Colorado. I had not expected to go traveling again so soon after our last trip, but this short little adventure had been more than worth it. 

And just like always, I feel like our travels taught me something. Once again, I had to step out of my comfort zone to face and experience the world around me. There are quite a few alarming things happening in our country right now, one being the realization of the treatment of some of our fellow Americans. But as we discussed in our conversations with Joanna and Dan at dinner, one of the best things we can do is to educate ourselves on the topic, and then to not sit idly by when we see injustices take place. One of the best ways I have learned to do this is through my travels. This trip gave me the opportunity to have real conversations with people, and to take a step into history. It gave me a chance to catch just a glimpse of where all of this suffering, inequity and discrimination began. And now this blog and the life I have returned to are my opportunities to use that knowledge to do my part in creating change.

As Joseph said on the top of the Stony Man Mountain, “We are officially adventurers now.” Adventurers are people who seek new experiences, who step outside of their comfort zone in the pursuit of understanding what life truly is. Adventurers are those who take risks, even if it puts them in harm’s way, to create lives that are truly meaningful, for themselves and others. Adventurers seek to find beauty where others may miss it, and along the way, they attempt to connect with other people and build friendships in unlikely places.

We are adventurers, and this blog is just one small attempt to create a little space for beauty, connection and inspiration for this world around us. 

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Colorado road trip: Day 16

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After nearly two-and-a-half weeks, our road trip adventure has come to an end.

Our morning began at a popular rest stop parking lot in Ohio. We did a quick bodyweight workout to get our muscles stretched and moving before the long car ride we had planned. While I was getting ready, Joseph found a coffee vending machine that gave us the delicious elixir for a fraction of the price we normally pay. Armed with caffeine and a sugary breakfast, we began our trip home.

Our main objective today, besides driving home, was to pick up my engagement ring. After nearly a month, it was finally ready for pick-up. The only problem was this: The ring store closed at six o’clock, which gave us very little time to rest during our drive. We knew we could make it, but we had to skip lunch to do it. This, however, seemed like a small price to pay for finally having the symbol of our engagement back where it belonged.

The unfortunate roadblock to our success came at three o’clock. Joseph received a phone call from Stevenson University, which seemed odd to both of us because he graduated from that school in May. When Joseph answered, we discovered it was a call from the security office. 

“I just received a call from a gentleman in Pennsylvania who has found your wallet,” the security officer said. Joseph and I both looked at each other in shock, and then, as if it were even possible to find it, we began looking around the car for the misplaced item. 

“I’m not sure if you even knew it was missing,” the security officer continued. 

“No, I didn’t,” Joseph said as reality set in for both of us. We had stopped for gas in Pennsylvania…three hours ago. 

The security officer gave us the phone number of the man who found the wallet. Joseph called the number, but the man, identified as Cliff by his voicemail, did not answer. We began the drive back, hoping to receive a return call soon.

As actuality of what was happening finally set in, I began to cry. I was disappointed about the ring, of course, but I was more upset because I believed that it was my fault. Joseph had given me his wallet to fill up the car with gas while he visited the restroom. I realized that I must have left it at the pump, which meant that the added six hours of driving, the lost opportunity to pick up my ring, and the little rest and recovery we were actually going to get tonight were my fault. 

Joseph tried in vain to console me as I sobbed in the seat beside him. I could see he was close to laughing about the situation, but I could not seem to join him in his amusement. 

We received a call about 30 minutes into our drive from Cliff. He was a kind, older gentleman who lived in Pennsylvania. He said he had found the wallet on an on-ramp to the highway. Confused by this, Joseph and I both looked at each other. 

“We must have left it on top of the car,” Joseph said, which begged a new question: Which of us left it there? Did I put the wallet there while trying to purchase gas? Or did I return the wallet to Joseph, when he had been unable to find a restroom, and then he put it on the car while he finished pumping the gas? 

After we told Cliff how far away we were, he told us it did not make much sense for us to drive all that way. 

“I will just mail it to you tomorrow,” he said. A spark of hope ignited in both of our hearts. We thanked him profusely, and as Joseph gave Cliff his address, he drove the car onto an exit to turn it back in the direction of Zales.

We lost an hour of driving, but we were both now in happier spirits. Not knowing who left the wallet was the best situation because both of us have a tendency to be angry at ourselves but almost never at the other person. We could not help but laugh and shake our heads at the irony of losing his wallet on the last day of our trip.

We arrived at Zales with thirty minutes to spare. At last, my ring was returned to where it belonged. I did not realize how much I had missed it until I had it back. It seems so simple, so insignificant, but it honestly feels like the last part that was missing inside of me has fallen back into place. This ring is a reminder and a symbol of the promise I have made. It brings me joy every time I look at it. 

Our beautiful engagement pictures were taken by the very talented Jon Mauler. To see more of his incredible work, visit his website: https://www.jonmauler.com/

The rest of the ride home was uneventful. We sipped on lattes even though it was far too late to drink espresso; at our level of exhaustion, nothing was going to keep us awake tonight. We listened to music and savored our last few moments together before life became normal once again.

“What should be our final song,” Joseph asked me minutes before arriving home. Music was one of the first things we ever connected on, and it has remained a core part of our relationship. We have a theme song for nearly every moment spent together. 

“You choose,” I told him. I trust his taste in music as much I trust him with my future.

A moment later, he had turned on the song Colorado by CHAPPY. As I knew it would be, this song was the perfect choice. We listened together, thinking back over all of our memories: The mountain hikes; strolling main streets with coffee in hand; our fights and our moments of bliss; the long drives; camping under the stars; exploring the wilderness outside and within ourselves, and finding it was much less intimidating than we thought; and our perfect moment beneath the fireworks, a celebration and a resolution to an unforgettable journey.

Our travels were filled with twists and turns. It had metaphorical and physical mountains we had to climb and conquer, which lead to views and resolutions too incredible to describe. When we began this trip, I thought it was just going to be a celebration of our engagement. I did not realize that we were both looking for something when we embarked on this adventure. 

The song ended with the sentiment, “I am unfinished. Yes, I am not done. Still, it’s up here in the mountains, I defined my home.” As the final chord struck, Joseph turned to me. 

“And it’s you,” he said. “You are my home.” I smiled as we pulled onto the road leading to my house. 

“You are my home and my adventure all at once,” I told him. 

This chapter of my story has ended. I cannot wait to write the next one with him.

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Colorado road trip: Day 15

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I did not realize how clean and refreshing the air in Colorado was until I woke up this morning in a hot, sweaty car, condensation dripping down the windows in the muggy Kansas morning air. I was covered in bug bites thanks to the mosquito that decided to sleep with me last night. I longed so much to return to the mountains of Colorado, but this was the morning of our  second day driving back to Maryland.

Joseph and I started the day with a 5K run around the lake we slept next to. The humidity we had forgotten was heavy in our lungs. We were dripping in sweat only a mile into the run. Nevertheless, we pushed through, and at the end we rewarded ourselves with an unconventional bath in the lake. Joseph had the smart idea of placing our soap and loofah in one of our plastic food containers; it served as a makeshift bath caddy that floated in the water next to us.

The water actually felt refreshing after our run. I was reluctant to get out, but we had a long day of driving ahead of us. Our hope was to make it to Columbus, Ohio, which was eleven hours away. To do this, we would also be crossing over a time zone line, which meant we were going to lose an hour of daylight. But, we were determined to get as close to Maryland as possible so we had less driving tomorrow. Our main motivation for this was to pick up my engagement ring. Our route home is supposed to take us through the town the store is in, but if we don’t get there by six o’clock tomorrow evening, we won’t have a chance to pick it up for at least another week. 

We began the drive, both tired from the previous long day of traveling. For much of the morning and afternoon, we were quiet. We listened to podcasts and music, and we tried to relax as much as we could while our backs ached from sitting for so long.

Near the end of the afternoon, we decided to listen to a podcast about my enneagram. The enneagram is a personality test that Joseph and I were interested in at the beginning of this trip. We both figured out which enneagram we are (I am a two and Joseph is a three), but after that, Joseph did much more soul-searching and discovering than I did. A week ago, he mentioned a podcast he wanted to listen to with me about my own personality, but I had put it off until today. 

It was illuminating. I feel like I have not understood myself until this moment in my life. Everything about my actions, my motivations, and my thoughts actually makes sense now. The thing that characterizes twos is their desire to give and receive love, which is so strong that it can be achieved in unhealthy ways, such as neglecting self-care and manipulating others. The way to solve this is to make time for taking care of one’s own needs, which then gives the two enough energy to give more love to others without expecting anything in return.

As I have mentioned a few times, I have been struggling with my health for the past year. One of the main reasons for this is because I let it get so much worse than it needed to before finally dealing with it. I thought it was selfish to spend the time and money to take care of myself, as well as to express any needs I had to others. However, because of this, I felt so unfulfilled in the last year because I did not have any energy to engage in the normal service and giving that I am used to doing. I always felt like I was not doing enough for others, which only fueled my disappointment in myself. This, in turn, demotivated me even more to take care of myself.

It has been a vicious cycle, but I am learning now that it is important to love myself in order to love others well. It is the message I have been trying to grasp onto in the last year, but I think now I finally understand it. 

The most important thing that I have to remember is this: While loving relationships are important, God is my source of love and care. He gives me everything I need. He loves me unconditionally. I do not need love from others to fill my cup; He is what sustains me. He delights in me and who I am because He created me. And He wants me to rest when I need to and to take care of myself so that I am able to do the work He has created me for.

I was honestly disappointed about the idea of going home after such an amazing trip, but having this knowledge fills me with such excitement about my future. I think something finally clicked into place, and now I feel like myself again. 

After learning more about my enneagram, Joseph and I talked more deeply about  each of our personalities. I find it interesting how we approach so much of life similarly, yet for such different motivations. It is important to me to serve others, both because I am filled by loving others and because I have an intrinsic belief that this is how I will receive love (which is not necessarily true). Joseph wants to serve others because he believes that is the ultimate way to live, and he is motivated by his desire for personal achievement and to not disappoint others or himself. On the outside, it looks as if we are doing the same thing, but on the inside, we have two very different internal battles taking place.

One of the most important things for any relationship is communication. The fact that we know about each others’ personalities, motivations, and thought processes helps us to have better empathy and compassion for each other. I feel that this trip has helped us both understand one another on such a deeper level, and I am excited to see what impact that will have on our future together.

Joseph and I stopped for dinner at a rest stop. We watched the sunset, feeling content and satisfied. This trip has been an amazing journey for so many reasons. We have learned more about ourselves, each other, and who we are together. 

Based on what I have discovered, I could not be more enthusiastic and hopeful about our future together.

P.S. There will be more to come on the enneagram soon, and a little challenge for you! Check out the blog next week for my journey deeper into self-discovery and, hopefully, actualization.

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Colorado road trip: Day 14

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When I woke up, the world around me was still dark. The car had grown cold in the last few hours. I snuggled deeper into my sleeping bag, wondering how much longer I had to rest.

Just then, the alarm on my phone began to blare. A small, internal grown escaped me. I shut off my alarm and allowed my head to fall back into my pillow, exhausted. Four o’clock had arrived far too early.

I pulled myself out of my sleeping bag as Joseph rolled out of his hammock. We cleaned up our campsite in silence and drove to a nearby gas station to get ready. 

Our first and only stop today was Monarch Crest Trail at the Continental Divide, the site where mountains separate the rivers that flow into the Pacific Ocean from those that flow into the Atlantic Ocean. The sun was just starting to rise as we began hiking up the steep incline of the trail. We watched the light touch the tops of trees and the mountain peaks. The moon, which we have watched grow throughout our trip, sat just above the mountains in the distance, finally full and bright. 

“Tyler, I have a feeling this just might be one of the best views we have ever seen,” Joseph said. 

We were looking for a particular point Troy, a fellow hiker, had told us about yesterday. However, after three miles of walking, we still had not found it. We knew we must have taken a wrong turn, but today was the day we were supposed to begin our long drive back to Maryland, so we did not have time to search for it. I suggested we return to the car, but Joseph, who had a vision of the view he wanted to see, insisted we continue a little farther. After another half mile, it became apparent that we were not going to reach the top of the summit anytime soon, at least not by any conventional means. 

The thing is, Joseph has never lead me on a conventional hike. When it became apparent there was not enough time to get to the point we wanted, Joseph turned instead off of the trail and straight up the mountainside. I followed him up towards the summit, scrambling over rocks and grass, my legs and lungs burning from the exertion. The mountainside was steep and the elevation was increasing rapidly. It felt as if there was not even enough air to sip on.

Just before I thought I would not be able to go any farther, the land began to level. Before I knew it, we were at the top. 

The view was breathtaking, both literally and metaphorically. It was by far the best view we had seen during our entire trip in Colorado. Mist gathered beneath the peaks that stretched up towards the blushing morning sky. The pine trees basked in the bright sun’s glow while quarts crystals glistened beneath our feat. We were surrounded by land left nearly untouched by human hands, free to fully express its beauty without any constraints, and it was stunningly magnificent. 

I could have spent hours at the top of that mountain, drinking in the arresting view. However, Joseph and I both knew our time in Colorado had finally come to an end. We had already extended our original trip, but this view was more than worth the time spent getting here. This was the epic Colorado finale that we never could have planned. 

We stumbled back down the side of the mountain to the marked trail. I checked my watch, and I was dismayed to see that it was already the time we wanted to get back to our car, which we were currently 3.5-miles away from. Not wanting to waste any more time, Joseph and I both broke into a run.

Luckily, the trek up the mountain was far more difficult than the trip down. We sidestepped rocks and skidded down the dirt, letting the clean Colorado air fill our lungs and souls.

Just before reaching the bottom of the mountain, we met up with a group of bikers just beginning their journey. They asked us about our hike and how far we went. The entire trail is 13 miles, which we, unfortunately, did not have enough time to traverse today. We told them about the incredible view we did see, and our failed plan to start driving back to Maryland this morning at 7:30.

“Oh, I don’t think you’re going to make it,” one biker joked, glancing at his watch. The time was 8:15.

“Oh, really, I think we can do it,” I replied back with a laugh.

“Hey, we’re all Christians,” one biker said to the group. “Do you all mind if I pray before we get started?”

“Oh, wow, we’re Christians, too,” Joseph said. “Do you mind if we join you?” 

So, we gathered with the bikers in a circle, our heads bowed and eyes closed. The biker who had invited us all to prayer spoke, thanking God for this opportunity for people from all over the world to gather in this place to appreciate His beautiful creation. I felt tears brimming in my eyes as I felt the love of God surge through that group of people, all from different places with different backgrounds, gathered in a place indicative of the magnificence of His handiwork. 

The moment was over almost as quickly as it began. The bikers said goodbye and began their journey up the mountain as Joseph and I finished running down. We ate a quick breakfast at the car, bought a postcard and sticker to remember our experience, and then began our long drive. 

Joseph drove the first four hours. We stopped at a gas station to fuel our car and our bodies, and then I drove the next few hours to another rest stop, where we bought coffee. We decided then to make another stop for dinner, and then to drive late so we could make as much progress toward our final destination as possible. While we drove, we sang along to our favorite songs, listened to podcasts, called family members, and began talking more about future nuptial plans. All the while, a sense of bittersweet contentment filled us. We are on our way home.

The last two weeks have been amazing, but every good thing must come to an end. We are tired and ready for real showers, comfortable beds, and good coffee we don’t have to pay an hour’s wages for. But we also know that returning home means the end to an incredible adventure and returning to lives where we live hours apart and have other responsibilities competing for our time and attention.

However, it’s the finitude of moments in life like this that makes them sweet. There is beauty in endings. I have learned so much about myself and my relationship with Joseph during this trip, and I am ready to use that knowledge in my everyday life. This is the end of one chapter, but it also the beginning of a new adventure that I am just as excited for.

Until then, I have two days left in the car to soak up every last moment of this journey. 

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Colorado road trip: Day 13

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One year ago, I spent my Fourth of July running into Salida, Colorado with my teammates. We were part of 4K for Cancer, a fundraiser created by the Ulman Foundation. Last year, two running and two biking teams spent their summer traveling across the country to raise money for young adults impacted by cancer. 

That was one of the most impactful summers of my life. For seven weeks, I challenged myself, physically, mentally and spiritually, more than I ever had before. I met twenty of the most incredible people I have ever known, who have continued to dedicate their lives to helping others. An entire summer was dedicated to a cause much bigger than myself, and I will never regret that experience or the memories I made on that trip.

But that was the summer my chronic health illnesses, which I had spent years trying to improve, became so much worse. My self-confidence was crushed. I felt labeled by my disease. I hated the idea that my health was burdensome on anyone. The last year has been a battle against those still worsening health conditions, which ultimately lead me to being on the new supplements and diet that have made this trip a bit more complicated. 

This morning, I woke up in Salida, Colorado, ready to once again spend the Fourth of July in one of the most beautiful states in America. Last year, I would never have dreamed that I would be returning to Colorado so soon, nor that I would be watching the fireworks from the same place that I did then. And I could have never imagined that the man I was dating then, the man I had probably bored my teammates by talking about so much, would be here with me, and that we would be engaged.

We began our day with a morning hike at Waterdog Lakes. Joseph had chosen the trail because he realized we had not yet done a lake trail in Colorado. When we arrived at the trail head, we met Troy, a Colorado local from Denver who told us to keep hiking to the second lake because it’s better than the first. Armed with that knowledge, we began trekking up the steep incline of the mountain. We passed cascading waterfalls, climbed rocky paths, and wound through lush pine trees before finally arriving at the first, clear, blue lake.

The second lake was more difficult to find. While searching, we met up with two other Colorado locals, Hannah and Olivia, speech pathologists from Colorado Springs. They had met in graduate school in Iowa, and they just happened to both accept jobs and move to the same apartment building in the same week, just before the novel coronavirus shut down the country. Enjoying the extra company, the four of us continued our search for the trail. What we ended up doing instead was climbing up a pile of boulders that led us to where the lake was nestled between the trees and mountain peaks. We said farewell to our new friends at the top and sat for a few minutes to enjoy the view before beginning the long walk down. It had taken us two hours to get to the top of the mountain, and there were thunder clouds once again threatening us in the distance. 

Luckily, we made it to the bottom safely, just as Troy and his family were finishing their hike. We talked with him about the hike, and he recommended another trail just a few miles up the road at Monarch Crest. Joseph excitedly proposed that we wake up early for a sunrise hike tomorrow morning before beginning the drive to Maryland, and I agreed.

We headed to Salida next to spend our last day in Colorado relaxing and enjoying our time together. Just as we parked, the clouds began to sprinkle rain on us, so we hurriedly packed a lunch and headed to the park. We huddled under a tree to eat. In the middle of the park, a crowd was gathered to watch traveling circus performers from Chicago. We watched the dancing performers and trapeze artists from a distance, gasping when we were fooled into thinking a trick went wrong and applauding enthusiastically at the end of each act. 

Main street was our next destination. We walked the shops, pausing to eat a scoop of ice cream and dairy-free gelato from a local parlor and to buy lattes from a small coffee shop. 

The afternoon flew by, and before we knew it, the fireworks were only a few hours away. We made dinner at our car and then walked around the park and neighborhoods for an evening stroll. As the sky grew dark, we returned to our car, where we set up pillows to sit outside and watch the fireworks. We had parked just below the memorable “S” mountain in Salida, where the letter is painted in white near the top peak. For Independence Day, the “S” was lit up with  white lights and a string of red lights formed a heart around the letter. We finally opened the personal-sized wine bottles we had been saving for just this occasion and toasted our final evening in Colorado.

The festivities began just after the world finally grew dark. Mountain bikes strung with lights appeared from the top of the mountain and wound their way down in an ant line formation. The crowd cheered enthusiastically, prompting one young spectator nearby to ask his parents if the bikers were famous. 

The expectation in the crowd mounted as the bikers finished their descent. We all waited excitedly for the first boom and crack that lit up the night sky.

As bright colors filled the sky and gold dust rained down toward the mountain, I couldn’t help but think about the journey that brought me there (and I’m not just referring to the last two weeks). The last year of my life has been a journey that brought me to this moment. It has not been an easy year – between personal health struggles, starting my own business, the coronavirus pandemic, and so much more, this has been a tough year for me and many people. But there is no doubt in my mind that it has been the best year of my life, and a lot of that is owed to the man that was sitting beside me, watching the fireworks. I have grown a lot in the last year, and with his support, I have learned more about myself and who I am with my health problems, not who I am because of them. 

So, there I was, back in Salida, Colorado, sitting beneath the fireworks, exactly where I was a year ago. In that moment, it was as if nothing had changed. But I came back to this place changed. I am now older, stronger, and more confident than the last time I was here.

There was something poetic about ending a chapter of my life with fireworks crackling above my head. Sitting there, my head rested on Joseph’s shoulder in one of the most beautiful places in the world, I could not think of a better place to begin the next part of my story.

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Colorado road trip: Day 11

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I had forgotten how amazing it felt to sleep in a bed. I woke up huddled in blankets, my head gently rested on a pillow, my body cuddled by the mattress. For the first time in over a week, I felt well-rested, and I started my day without any aches and pains. 

Joseph and I both showered to take advantage of the luxury of indoor plumbing while we still had it. Then we packed up our belongings and returned to our road trip lifestyle as if the last 18 hours of lavish comfort had never happened. 

Our plan for today was to spend the entire day in the city we had been most excited to visit – Denver. Before we left, I searched for the best coffee shops in the area. We chose to go to Huckleberry Roasters (Huck), even though the reviews said it was pricey, because, with its two U.S. Roaster Championship awards, it is supposed to be one of the best places to get coffee in the country. The cafe, like last night’s restaurant, was somewhere we never would have found had we not been looking for it. It was outside of downtown Denver, just on the outskirts of a neighborhood. The storefront had a brightly painted mural that attracted the eye, but never would I have known by the appearance that it was supposedly the best coffee in the city. Joseph and I each ordered an iced latte and sat at a picnic table in front of the store. 

All our expectations were met. The coffee was a tad over-priced – six dollars for a latte is a bit much – but it was the best we had ever tasted. The milk was steamed to a silky perfection that blended smoothly with the richness of the espresso. Satisfied, we headed to City Park for a late morning walk while we sipped on our coffee. 

It was hotter than we expected. As we walked around the park, sweat poured down my forehead and pooled in the crease of my elbow that was bent to hold my drink. All we managed was a short stroll before deciding to head downtown, hoping the shops would at least provide some air conditioned relief. 

Our first mission in the city was to find a restroom, which was a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. Denver began to lose its magic after thirty minutes of searching without any luck. We finally stumbled along some public restrooms in the downtown mall, but we needed a code to unlock the doors. To obtain this code, we had to purchase an item from a local shop; then the cashier would reveal the secret numbers to us. 

At this point, we were both losing patience. Luckily, someone exiting the men’s bathroom held the door open for Joseph, and just as I was about to give up, a friendly custodian, who must have seen the desperation in my eyes, unlocked the women’s bathroom door for me. 

By now, Joseph and I were hungry for lunch, so we sat on a bench in the mall and ate the picnic we had packed. Once our stomachs were full, we began to peruse the shops. 

Last night, driving through Denver, I had felt that magnetic energy I had experienced last summer. Gazing up at the lights, I was enamored once again by the dynamism of the city set against the beautiful backdrop of distant mountains. But today, amid the current climate of the pandemic and recent riots, Denver revealed itself to be a city like any other. We were approached by people desperate for money, and people far too high to remember why they approached us. Many of the shops were closed, some temporarily and others permanently, including the bookstore I had fallen in love with last summer, where two locals had written personalized poem just for me. Glass windows of shops had been boarded up and graffitied. The hashtag GEORGEFLOYD appeared everywhere, from spray-painted murals to electronic billboards flashing down at us. 

Despite how separated we have felt during this trip from the tragedies and challenges of the last few months, we have not escaped the troubling lives we left behind. In less than a week, we will be back in Maryland, and I am sure our lives will go back to the way they were before. Nothing will have changed. 

My only hope is that we will come back changed. I hope we return to our lives more compassionate, more worldly, more empathetic than when we left. I hope we will have more perspective about the current state of affairs in this country, and perhaps that will help us to know better how we can serve those around us. The reality is that the world around us has not changed, but that does not mean we cannot bring change to our personal realities. 

When we reached the end of the 16th street mall, we sat on the steps of a closed store to rest and figure out where we wanted to go next. To our immense disappointment, we discovered the fireworks scheduled for tonight were cancelled. Just in the last week, Denver decided not to encourage any more crowds than were already congregating. Our original plan was to see the fireworks tonight as a finale to our trip in Colorado, and then we would take our time driving back to Maryland. However, we decided it was more important for us to see the fireworks in this state than to spread out the driving time during our trip back. 

So, sitting on those steps in the heart of Denver, we decided to extend our time in Colorado by two more days, and we began to plan which attractions we wanted to add to the trip. We found a fireworks show in Salida (which is, ironically, where I saw the fireworks a year ago), so we based our itinerary on that. 

We headed back to the car, nervous but excited about our new plan. The first thing that needed to happen to make this extended trip work was we needed to buy more food. There was enough to fuel us for a few days of driving, but not for days of hiking and other, more strenuous activities. We stopped by a Walmart on our way to Colorado Springs to pick up food and finally reach a resolution to another important journey we have been on: the hunt for low-FODMAP ice cream.

I have been craving ice cream since this trip began, and I reached my breaking point last night after dinner. We had stopped at gas stations, supermarkets, and ice cream shops last night and earlier today, but we had not had any luck. However, in the frozen section of Walmart, we found one, small ice cream bar that I could eat. Bolstered by this, we drove to the same Bass Pro parking lot we had stayed at a few days ago, where we hurriedly made dinner. As another treat for ourselves, we had bought a small bag of shrimp to eat with the rice we had packed for the trip. It was a nice change from the canned tuna and chicken we have been eating for days. 

By the time we ate the ice cream, it had melted to the consistency of a milkshake, but it was still just as tasty as it would have been frozen. 

Joseph set up his hammock while I prepared the back of the car for me to sleep. The night spent in a bed seemed like a distant memory. But, as I laid down to rest, I couldn’t help but think of how privileged I am. I, too, have struggled during this pandemic because of my compromised immune system and a lack of work, but I have been blessed with an incredible support system that has helped make sure I have been taken care of. I am not wanting for anything. And while some people are worrying about food, illness, and riots, I am on a road trip in one of the most beautiful states in America with my fiancé. While some people are facing challenges simply because of the color of their skin, I am on the adventure of a lifetime with a beautiful ring and a future full of opportunity waiting for me when I return home. 

The world has not changed. I realize that this road trip is a blessing, that all of the inconveniences, difficulties, and challenges we have faced during it are nothing in comparison to what many people face in their daily lives. I know that the challenges I have always faced in my life, from being a woman, from struggling with chronic illness since the age of 10, from simply being human, cannot compare to what other people have experienced.

But I have changed on this trip. Even in these short 11 days, I have grown and matured, and I have gained new perspectives of this world around me. I have learned more about myself and others, and I have grown stronger. I am ready to return home and find where I belong to do good in this world. There is so much in me that I am ready to share; this blog is just a start. 

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Travel

Colorado road trip: Day nine

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Once again, Joseph decided to terrify me as soon as we woke up. 

“I didn’t want to wake you last night,” he said, causing me to feel a strange sense of déjà vu from the beginning of our trip. “I heard bears all around our tent last night.”

“What?” I exclaimed. 

“Yeah, I actually heard one as soon as we got here last night, but I didn’t want to scare you so you could fall asleep,” Joseph said. I had heard footsteps last night, too, but Joseph had assured me it was just the people camping beside us. 

Luckily, our campsite was untouched. I was still exhausted, not because I had been up all night afraid of the bears searching for our food, but because I had been awake for much of the night trying to get warm. Up in the mountains just outside of Boulder, the air was frigid and the wind cut straight through the tent to where we had been sleeping. I normally sleep only with a pair of pajama pants and a T-shirt, but last night I had worn a pair of long johns, an Under Armour shirt, a long-sleeve running shirt, pajama pants, a hoodie, and a hat, and I was still huddled in a ball shivering in my sleeping beneath two extra blankets.

I had a morning Zoom meeting, so we headed to a Dunkin’, where Joseph bought me some espresso so I could focus. After the meeting, we headed into Boulder to hike Green Mountain. It was a baby mountain – half the height of the mountain we trekked just a few days ago – so Joseph and I felt relatively relaxed while trekking up. 

Breakfast before our morning hike up Green Mountain

Despite the lower elevation, the view was still stunning. Butterflies encircled us as we climbed the last final feet up a steep rock. Below us, the city of Boulder sat, and far above, taller mountains striped with snow dared us to hike higher. 

After spending minutes just soaking in the view, we started our trek back down. Near the end, we were passed by a woman wearing short shorts and tennis shoes. What I mean by that is she was only wearing only short shorts and tennis shoes. Joseph and I said “hello” as she passed. We both walked a few more paces before Joseph finally looked back at me, his eyes posing the question we were both waiting to ask: “Did you just see what I saw?” As I recalled her appearance, my inner eye automatically tried to put a shirt on this young woman because her lack of clothing seemed so strange to me.

But why did it seem strange? Men walk past me all the time without a shirt on, and I don’t even blink in their direction. And in movies and other media, I see scantily clad women all the time, even more often than I see their male counterparts. I also know how it feels to be a woman, to be out in the heat, perspiring through my shirt as the men I am with peel away their sweaty clothes with relief. It seems unfair. 

It is interesting how the fundamental values and world views that we are raised with are something we take for granted. We expect what is common knowledge to us to be common to everyone, when that just simply isn’t true. One thing I learned while at Stevenson University is that common knowledge is anything but common, as are my limiting world views created by my own upbringing.

In some ways, I almost envy this woman. She had a confidence about her that I have never known. By covering my body all my life, I have been taught to be ashamed of my curves and womanly features that are supposed to make me beautiful. 

Would I ever go hiking topless? Probably not, for many reasons, one being that I was raised to value modesty, and that means wearing a shirt, and also because I sunburn rather easily and that sounds terribly uncomfortable. But do I judge this woman? No. We may have differing opinions, but we are both human and just simply trying to enjoy a hike in the way that makes us feel most comfortable.

After our hike, Joseph and I ate a quick picnic lunch and then headed to downtown Boulder. We walked the brick-laden main street, perusing shops and stepping into those that piqued our interest. Joseph bought a hat, and I bought a sticker to commemorate our experience. We visited a chocolate shop, where he ordered a peanut butter truffle and I got a piece of dark chocolate coconut candy. Our favorite spot was a bookstore that has been a staple in Boulder since 1973. The Boulder Book Store spans three floors with books covering nearly every inch of it. Joseph and I eagerly explored, lingering over the most interesting titles and taking in the beauty of the classic ballroom filled with twisting plots instead of people.

After we had walked the extent of main street, Joseph and I settled ourselves on a park bench to relax and plan our last two days in Colorado. I cannot believe this trip is almost over. Just two weeks ago, road tripping to Colorado was merely an idea in our heads, and now, here we are, just an hour outside Denver, the city we have both been dreaming of returning to. 

As we took in the sights from that park bench, a man wearing what looked like faded, classic Arabian clothing and with bells tied around his neck sat on the patch of grass in front of us. After taking a long draw from the thickly rolled cigarette in his hand, he shook himself and began to move his hands and body in a way I can only associate with tai chi. 

My shirt is from End Hunger in Calvert, a cause that is dear to my heart. Their mission is to provide food and self-sufficiency to food insecure individuals in my hometown. Check out their website at https://endhungercalvert.org/.

Admonishing myself for staring, something my mother always chided me for, I couldn’t help but watch this man, wondering what his story was, where he came from, and what exactly he was currently doing. Luckily, I don’t think anyone considered what I was doing as rude – just about everyone around could not help but glance over every once in a while, and the man himself seemed to take little notice to any of us. 

It was getting late, so Joseph and I returned to our car and began the drive to our first campsite choice. It was a long, rocky dirt lane, filled with bumps and craters that threatened Joseph’s Mazda at every turn. As we drove farther into the site, it became clear that there were no open spaces left, but we were much too far in to consider turning around. Cringing, we continued driving down the road that looped around the campground, scraping up the bottom of the Mazda and often checking fearfully in the rear view mirrors to make sure we did not leave any car parts behind.

Luckily, we left the campsite with just a few scrapes but no serious damage. Discouraged, we drove another twenty minutes to where we camped last night. The loneliness of the site and the threat of bears had made us want to find a new place to sleep, but by now, the sun had set behind the mountains and we were running out of options.

We parked at the lowest site to be closer to the road and farther from the forest. I suggested that we sleep in the car because it would be warmer and safer, and to my surprise and relief, Joseph agreed. 

When we exited the car, we found a harsh wind had blown in since we left Boulder. It sliced through our clothes, leaving us both shivering and scrambling to get out of the elements as fast as possible. While I cleaned out the back of the car, Joseph made us dinner (tuna and chicken melt sandwiches). We turned on the heat in the car and ate in the back. Then we laid out our sleeping bags and settled in for another cool night in bear country.

Thinking back over my day, I couldn’t help but remember the two most interesting characters. Unfortunately, I don’t have names for either of them, and I don’t want to refer to them by their most obvious characteristics, so I will just call them “hiking woman” and “Boulder man.” I couldn’t help but wonder, once again, what their stories were. One of my favorite parts of traveling is all the incredible, interesting people I meet who are so different, and yet so similar, to myself. We are all human. I wish I had taken the chance to have a conversation with the hiking woman or the Boulder man. I honestly wish I had taken the chance to talk more to many of the people I have come into contact with on this trip. 

We are all people. As I’m writing this, I can’t help but think, with everything going on in the world right now, how often I have heard this message, and how little it seems to be sinking in. We are all human. We all have rights. We all deserve respect, love and understanding. We all desire to be heard, seen and valued, and one way we can gain self-respect and love is to extend that patience and kindness to others.

I will expand this message with one more. We are just human. This has two meanings: One, we are not perfect. We will make mistakes; sometimes we will be the toxic person that someone cuts out of their life. The important thing is to recognize where we have failed to love others well and then seek to better ourselves. 

And two, because we are just human, it is not our job to judge others. It is not our job to tell others if the way they are doing life seems wrong to us. It is our job to love others, just as they are. 

Travel reminds me of my humanness. It reminds me of what my basic needs are and what I truly desire in life. It reminds me of my limitations and my strengths.

Most importantly, travel reminds me that there is so much more to life that I know, and it is all there for me to experience if I am willing to do so with an open mind and heart.

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