Self-care is always essential, but now it seems even more important than ever. Stresses from back-to-school season, the election, and the looming holidays, all amid a global pandemic, are enough to make anyone feel tense.
Taking care of yourself is an important first step in making sure you can handle the stresses of daily life and still be able to give to others. Self-care is not selfish. It’s a way to make sure your needs are taken care of, so you are able to give more during your daily life.
Self-care looks different for everyone. For some of us, it’s taking hot bubble baths, reading books, or sipping a mug of hot tea. For others, it’s making time to visit with friends and family. And for some people, it’s making time to meal prep, write budgets, and create nightly routines that promote a good night’s rest. What’s important is not what the activity is, but rather that it helps you feel rejuvenated, relaxed, and ready to tackle your next life challenge.
If you aren’t sure what works best for you, check out the free printable below! You can use it simply as inspiration, or follow it for a new, self-care activity each day.
When the novel coronavirus changed the world in March, it was difficult to imagine what a future would look like. I took my life day by day, watching, observing, and trying to construct some form of comfort and continuity in my life.
In the five months that have passed since that time, it has still been a struggle to find solace in a world that is rapidly changing around me. I have spent far too much time trying to plan for a future that is still mostly unknown. The few things that have brought me some consolation are the people in my life and the adventures I have taken now that my schedule is oddly free. It was these two things that brought me to Pennsylvania.
Traveling during the coronavirus can be daunting, especially when restrictions are constantly changing. However, after checking the latest travel restrictions this past week, I made plans to visit the state just next door to me where two people I was very excited to see are currently living.
Since the start of the pandemic, I have not seen any friends in person. Apart from my new fiancé and a few of his family members, I have socially distanced myself from everyone. I have heard it has been suggested to call social distancing “physical distancing” to encourage people to still have social interactions through less conventional means, such as Zoom or FaceTime. Unfortunately, in my case, physical distancing really did become social distancing – text messages went unanswered and video calls became less frequent as people have grown tired of the constant screen time and so little authentic time spent with people.
Caitlin & me at Stevenson University’s Relay for Life in 2018
So, when Caitlin and Mark agreed to meet for dinner in their town of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, I jumped at the chance to do a little more traveling and see two people I have dearly missed.
Caitlin and I became friends my first year at Stevenson University, and we have been close ever since. She invited me to come with her to Campus Crusade for Christ, an organization on campus focused on helping college students grow in their faith. It was there that I met Mark, who was one of the leaders in the club. The following year, Caitlin and Mark started dating. It was obvious from the beginning of their relationship that the two of them were perfect for one another. This past June, just 10 days after my own engagement, Mark proposed. So, this dinner was not just one to catch up, but to celebrate the life milestone we had all taken very recently.
Joseph and I woke up early Saturday morning to get a jumpstart on our traveling. It is on our bucket list to visit all 50 states, and this was our chance to cross Pennsylvania off our list.
In order to officially say we visited a state, there are a couple of things we have agreed we need to do. We have to explore a main street, eat (or drink) at a local restaurant, hike at a national park, and visit a tourist or scenic spot. Once we have done all of these things, we can go to a local Starbucks to buy our “Been There” series mug.
So far this summer, we have visited Colorado, Maryland and Virginia. Suffice it to say, I was very excited to add a fourth mug to our collection that has been growing on my windowsill.
Our first stop was Gettysburg National Military Park, a place shrouded in American history. The morning was thankfully still cool when we began our relaxed, four-mile hike on the Johnny Reb Trail. The paved path wound through cemeteries and monuments commemorating the lives of fallen soldiers and to tell the story of the Battle of Gettysburg. Stone statues marked the spots where the infantry moved during the fight. According to the National Park Service website, the Battle of Gettysburg was a turning point during the Civil War that helped secure the eventual victory of the Union. Known for being the bloodiest battle of the Civil War, it was this particular battle that inspired President Lincoln’s famous “Gettysburg Address.”
Our next stop was Starbucks. It was a little early in the day to already be buying our mug, but we knew we wouldn’t check off all our destinations until that night, and since it was now late morning, we were both desperate for coffee. We bought our mug and two lattes, and then we headed to downtown Gettysburg to walk Steinwehr Avenue, our main street of choice for the day.
While we had been hiking, I had seen people dressed in nineteenth-century style clothing. I had assumed these people were tour guides or people doing reenactments at the park. However, as we walked down the street, we saw multiple people dressed in the same garb. Some played the part of their costume, talking as if they had just stepped off the battlefield, while others I caught checking their cell phones that they had hidden away in their petticoats. Either way, their attire alongside the classic architecture and shops filled with historical artifacts created an immersive experience I thoroughly enjoyed.
After walking around town, we drove to Lancaster. Our dinner reservation was not for a few hours, but we had bought tickets to ride on the Strasburg Railroad, the oldest continuously operating railroad in the country. According to the Strasburg Railroad website, the railroad was founded in 1832 to transport both freight and passengers across Pennsylvania. Neither Joseph nor I had ever ridden on a train before. We excitedly boarded the bright red locomotive and sat across from each other on the bench seats. When the whistle blew and the train chugged out of the station, we stuck our heads out of the windows to feel the wind against our faces and to watch the corn fields whizz past.
While riding, we were treated to learning a bit of Pennsylvania history, culture and superstition. We were told that it had been this train that had taken Abraham Lincoln and his wife, Mary, to his inauguration in 1861. Unfortunately, a mere four years later, it was also the train that had taken Mary and the body of the deceased president back home. Out our windows, we were able to see Amish farmers working in the fields while we learned from our tour guide about the plain lifestyle. Almost halfway through our trip, the train came to a full stop, and our guide encouraged us to be very quiet so we could hear the ghost whistle of the engine on the Lancaster, Oxford and Southern Railway, which has been out of service since 1918. Our train’s whistle pierced the air, and without a second’s delay, another whistle answered.
“Is it an echo,” I asked Joseph at the same time he turned to me and posed the same question.
“Did someone ask if it was an echo,” our tour guide asked jovially over the loudspeaker. “I am so disappointed. We pay that farmer 27 dollars a day just to whistle back at us.” I laughed, unsure if the guide was joking or not. I guess we will never know for sure if it is an echo, another whistle, or if there really is a ghost locomotive riding the rails in Pennsylvania.
We had a little extra time between the end of our ride and dinner, so we headed to downtown Lancaster to walk another main street. As soon as we stepped out of the car, a candy store caught my eye. I ran to it like an excited child while Joseph lagged behind.
Sweetish Candy is a Swedish candy and hygge shop that sells imported Scandinavian goods, including a plethora of sweets made with wholesome ingredients. Entranced by all the goodies, we bought two bars of Icelandic bitter chocolate made with Icelandic sea salt and bourbon vanilla. After spending so much time roaming around the shop we had very little left to explore the main street, so we headed back to our car to go to dinner. A nearby gas station bathroom served as our spot to get ready, so when we walked into the restaurant, we looked as if we had not been running around in the humid Pennsylvania heat all day.
We met Cait and Mark at Loxley’s, a popular, upscale restaurant in Pennsylvania. To enter, we walked across a bridge that overlooked a manmade pond filled with ginormous lily pads and big, bright orange fish. Our friends, who had arrived a few minutes before us, were seated on the patio outside. We greeted each other with hugs and exclamations of congratulations. As our waiter, Jonah, served us drinks and appetizers, Caitlin and I studied each other’s rings while we all had the chance to share the stories of our proposals and how life and wedding planning has been going since then. Once dinner was served, we turned the conversation to what post-graduation life has been like, to our work lives, and to sharing how general life during a pandemic has affected each of us. The world grew dark around us as we continued talking long after the plates had been cleared and our glasses had emptied, enjoying the experience of finally being able to talk with close friends without a screen placed between us.
As Cait and I both began to yawn, Joseph and Mark called an end to the evening. We hugged goodbye, promising to visit again soon, and then each returned to our own cars. On the drive home, I felt a sense of peace that I have not yet experienced since the beginning of the pandemic. Life has not returned to normal, and I don’t think it ever will, but the day’s adventures had been a reassurance that this new way of living can still be just as enjoyable and exciting.
Traveling through a place filled with history was a reminder to me of just how much the world has changed and how much it will continue to change throughout my life. Walking around town surrounded by people in bonnets and top hats reminded me that wearing a mask is simply the latest change in fashion, and to be perfectly honest, I would happily choose to wear that than the corsets I saw those other women donning. Like the first gunshot fired during a war, the novel coronavirus changed the world as we know it forever, and we are now in the midst of understanding what this new world will be like. However, in the thick of all this uncertainty, there are two things I now know for sure that have given me hope: First, that life is always changing, so the best way to live life to the fullest is to embrace the new and seek to find ways to still confront and encounter even more novel experiences. And secondly, it will always be the people in my life and the relationships I have built that will bring me comfort in times of elation and struggle, and though it may try, social distancing cannot take that away from me.
Life is not what it used to be, but hopefully, with a little mindset shift and perhaps a little extra effort, we can make it even better than what we ever envisioned.
P.S. Joseph has launched his vlog! Check out his perspective of today’s events by watching the video below. If you like it, please consider subscribing to his YouTube channel – every follow helps.
I had forgotten how amazing it felt to sleep in a bed. I woke up huddled in blankets, my head gently rested on a pillow, my body cuddled by the mattress. For the first time in over a week, I felt well-rested, and I started my day without any aches and pains.
Joseph and I both showered to take advantage of the luxury of indoor plumbing while we still had it. Then we packed up our belongings and returned to our road trip lifestyle as if the last 18 hours of lavish comfort had never happened.
Our plan for today was to spend the entire day in the city we had been most excited to visit – Denver. Before we left, I searched for the best coffee shops in the area. We chose to go to Huckleberry Roasters (Huck), even though the reviews said it was pricey, because, with its two U.S. Roaster Championship awards, it is supposed to be one of the best places to get coffee in the country. The cafe, like last night’s restaurant, was somewhere we never would have found had we not been looking for it. It was outside of downtown Denver, just on the outskirts of a neighborhood. The storefront had a brightly painted mural that attracted the eye, but never would I have known by the appearance that it was supposedly the best coffee in the city. Joseph and I each ordered an iced latte and sat at a picnic table in front of the store.
All our expectations were met. The coffee was a tad over-priced – six dollars for a latte is a bit much – but it was the best we had ever tasted. The milk was steamed to a silky perfection that blended smoothly with the richness of the espresso. Satisfied, we headed to City Park for a late morning walk while we sipped on our coffee.
It was hotter than we expected. As we walked around the park, sweat poured down my forehead and pooled in the crease of my elbow that was bent to hold my drink. All we managed was a short stroll before deciding to head downtown, hoping the shops would at least provide some air conditioned relief.
Our first mission in the city was to find a restroom, which was a lot more difficult than I thought it would be. Denver began to lose its magic after thirty minutes of searching without any luck. We finally stumbled along some public restrooms in the downtown mall, but we needed a code to unlock the doors. To obtain this code, we had to purchase an item from a local shop; then the cashier would reveal the secret numbers to us.
At this point, we were both losing patience. Luckily, someone exiting the men’s bathroom held the door open for Joseph, and just as I was about to give up, a friendly custodian, who must have seen the desperation in my eyes, unlocked the women’s bathroom door for me.
By now, Joseph and I were hungry for lunch, so we sat on a bench in the mall and ate the picnic we had packed. Once our stomachs were full, we began to peruse the shops.
Last night, driving through Denver, I had felt that magnetic energy I had experienced last summer. Gazing up at the lights, I was enamored once again by the dynamism of the city set against the beautiful backdrop of distant mountains. But today, amid the current climate of the pandemic and recent riots, Denver revealed itself to be a city like any other. We were approached by people desperate for money, and people far too high to remember why they approached us. Many of the shops were closed, some temporarily and others permanently, including the bookstore I had fallen in love with last summer, where two locals had written personalized poem just for me. Glass windows of shops had been boarded up and graffitied. The hashtag GEORGEFLOYD appeared everywhere, from spray-painted murals to electronic billboards flashing down at us.
Despite how separated we have felt during this trip from the tragedies and challenges of the last few months, we have not escaped the troubling lives we left behind. In less than a week, we will be back in Maryland, and I am sure our lives will go back to the way they were before. Nothing will have changed.
My only hope is that we will come back changed. I hope we return to our lives more compassionate, more worldly, more empathetic than when we left. I hope we will have more perspective about the current state of affairs in this country, and perhaps that will help us to know better how we can serve those around us. The reality is that the world around us has not changed, but that does not mean we cannot bring change to our personal realities.
When we reached the end of the 16th street mall, we sat on the steps of a closed store to rest and figure out where we wanted to go next. To our immense disappointment, we discovered the fireworks scheduled for tonight were cancelled. Just in the last week, Denver decided not to encourage any more crowds than were already congregating. Our original plan was to see the fireworks tonight as a finale to our trip in Colorado, and then we would take our time driving back to Maryland. However, we decided it was more important for us to see the fireworks in this state than to spread out the driving time during our trip back.
So, sitting on those steps in the heart of Denver, we decided to extend our time in Colorado by two more days, and we began to plan which attractions we wanted to add to the trip. We found a fireworks show in Salida (which is, ironically, where I saw the fireworks a year ago), so we based our itinerary on that.
We headed back to the car, nervous but excited about our new plan. The first thing that needed to happen to make this extended trip work was we needed to buy more food. There was enough to fuel us for a few days of driving, but not for days of hiking and other, more strenuous activities. We stopped by a Walmart on our way to Colorado Springs to pick up food and finally reach a resolution to another important journey we have been on: the hunt for low-FODMAP ice cream.
I have been craving ice cream since this trip began, and I reached my breaking point last night after dinner. We had stopped at gas stations, supermarkets, and ice cream shops last night and earlier today, but we had not had any luck. However, in the frozen section of Walmart, we found one, small ice cream bar that I could eat. Bolstered by this, we drove to the same Bass Pro parking lot we had stayed at a few days ago, where we hurriedly made dinner. As another treat for ourselves, we had bought a small bag of shrimp to eat with the rice we had packed for the trip. It was a nice change from the canned tuna and chicken we have been eating for days.
By the time we ate the ice cream, it had melted to the consistency of a milkshake, but it was still just as tasty as it would have been frozen.
Joseph set up his hammock while I prepared the back of the car for me to sleep. The night spent in a bed seemed like a distant memory. But, as I laid down to rest, I couldn’t help but think of how privileged I am. I, too, have struggled during this pandemic because of my compromised immune system and a lack of work, but I have been blessed with an incredible support system that has helped make sure I have been taken care of. I am not wanting for anything. And while some people are worrying about food, illness, and riots, I am on a road trip in one of the most beautiful states in America with my fiancé. While some people are facing challenges simply because of the color of their skin, I am on the adventure of a lifetime with a beautiful ring and a future full of opportunity waiting for me when I return home.
The world has not changed. I realize that this road trip is a blessing, that all of the inconveniences, difficulties, and challenges we have faced during it are nothing in comparison to what many people face in their daily lives. I know that the challenges I have always faced in my life, from being a woman, from struggling with chronic illness since the age of 10, from simply being human, cannot compare to what other people have experienced.
But I have changed on this trip. Even in these short 11 days, I have grown and matured, and I have gained new perspectives of this world around me. I have learned more about myself and others, and I have grown stronger. I am ready to return home and find where I belong to do good in this world. There is so much in me that I am ready to share; this blog is just a start.
