The holidays are a busy time of year. Between shopping for gifts, holiday parties, preparing for the end of the year, and keeping up with our regular commitments, it can be difficult to find little pockets of serenity amidst the chaos. But the holidays are also a beautiful time of warmth and reflection. It is a time to nurture our wellness, to spend time with loved ones, and to recall traditions that give us a sense of home.
This holiday season, find balance and tranquility amidst the busyness with these six tips to help you practice mindfulness and focus on the beauty of the present moment.
Take a few moments each day to focus on your breath. You can have this at a regularly scheduled time or just when you feel your stress levels rising. Take a deep inhale through your nose, hold for a few seconds, and then exhale through your nose or mouth. Repeat a few rounds of this, allowing your eyes to gently close if you are in a safe space to do so, and/or focus on your surroundings: What can you see, hear, smell, taste and touch? Bringing our awareness to our five senses helps to ground us in the present moment. Paired with mindful breathing, it can help calm our minds and help us come back to what is happening now, instead of focusing on what has happened or will occur.
Saying “no” can be challenging, especially to activities we feel obligated to attend or to people we know are expecting us to show up, but it is a right you reserve. You are the only person who can protect your peace. And saying “no” to some events and activities may mean you are able to be more invested in the activities that mean more to you and be more present with the people who matter most. Protect your time, and make sure you are leaving enough space to take care of yourself. Just because there is a block of free time on the calendar does not mean it should be filled with another event or activity.
There are plenty of delicious holiday treats around this time of year. First, know that you can eat whatever you please. Food is fuel — there are more nutrient dense foods and less nutrient dense foods, but all of it is food. As long as we are making an effort for the majority of our diets to be more nutrient dense, treats can be a regular and healthy part of our nutritional intake. And at this time of year, food can take on an extra special meaning for us. The holidays just don’t seem the same if I do not get to enjoy a gingerbread cookie or a glass of eggnog.
Enjoy your food and the memories that come with it, but when you do so, enjoy it mindfully. Engage your five senses again — what can you see, taste, feel, smell, and hear? Pay attention to your surroundings as you enjoy these treats. Appreciate the warm glow from your Christmas tree or the sounds of laughter from the party. Eating mindfully will not only help you truly enjoy these treats, but it will help curb any overindulgence that can lead to painful inflammation and stomach discomfort later.
5. Create Rituals for Relaxation
Create space in your calendar for rest, and spend this time taking care of you. Try meditation, yoga and gentle stretching, or sipping some herbal tea with a good book. Engage in one of your favorite hobbies, or try a new holiday-themed craft. Establishing these rituals before bedtime can also help create a routine that signals to your body that it is time to rest. This will help you fall asleep faster and aid your mind and body in better recovery, so you can enjoy all the holiday festivities even more.
Me hiking in Frederick, MD
6. Connect with Nature
We are a part of nature, and nature is a part of us. We are meant to spend time outdoors in the fresh air, but as the weather cools, many of us find ourselves cooped up inside more than usual. Bundle up and get back out there! Enjoy a walk, engage in grounding activities, or simply sit outside with a hot drink.
Many of us also struggle with Vitamin D deficiencies in the winter because of the lack of sunlight, which can lead to feelings of sadness and depression. If you can, spend time outdoors during hours when there is sunshine, or invest in a sun lamp to help bring the sunshine with you indoors.
The holiday season is a beautiful time of connection and celebration. With these six tips, I hope you are able to find moments of rest within the busyness and more spaces for serenity and joy. I wish you a very healthy and happy holiday season and a serene beginning to your new year.
It is the first thought I have when I wake in the morning, and one that plagues me throughout the day.
We got an early start to the sixth day of our trip when we were awoken by the roosters at our campsite screaming at one another. We packed up our campsite and got on the road, eager for our first stop of the day. As if we did not get in enough sugar the day before, we planned on stopping for some famous donuts for breakfast.
Unfortunately, the donut shop I had planned on us visiting was permanently closed, but that did not subdue our appetites. Instead, I did a little research as we drove, and we settled on visiting another donut shop on our way to Cumberland Falls. I was not at all disappointed with our decision.
Peace, Love and Little Donuts was founded in Pittsburgh, and now that I know that information, it is going to be rather difficult to sway me from taking a weekend trip just for these little treats. The shop offers a variety of donut flavors in mini donut form, and the option to make your own donut with your favorite toppings. To be clear, these are not donut holes – they are the traditionally shaped donut, just in miniature form. And they are delicious.
As soon as we walked into the shop, we were offered a fresh donut that had just come out of the machine. Who were we to refuse? The woman behind the counter handed us each a soft, warm donut to munch on while we decided what we wanted to buy. The sugared confection melted against our tongues and filled us with warmth all the way to our toes. I had never tasted a more delicious donut. It was light and soft, with just the perfect level of sweetness.
We each chose the flavor donut we wanted, and we watched as they grabbed a fresh, warm donut to adorn with the toppings we had chosen. Eager to enjoy, we rushed back to our car and drove a minute down the road to Starbucks, where we ordered coffees to enjoy with our treats.
Joseph had chosen a caramel macchiato donut, and it tasted exactly like the deluxe coffee drink – sweet caramel was drizzled over the coffee-flavored icing and topped with shaved chocolate. I ordered one of my favorite flavor combinations – lemon and blueberry. The delicious donut was slathered with a lemon icing and sugary powder and then topped with a spoonful of blueberry sauce. Every bite was the perfect combination of sweet and tart.
Now buzzing with a sugar rush, we jumped back in our car and drove the remaining hours to Cumberland Falls. On the way, we listened to the latest Noah Kahan album, Stick Season (We’ll All Be Here Forever), and marveled at how good every single song was and how together they created such a meaningful and relatable story of love, loss, mental health struggles, and the complicated feelings surrounding one’s home.
We arrived at Cumberland Falls just as it began to rain. We grabbed our packs and began the muddy walk to the overlook of the falls — a beautiful, roaring cascade that fell in a large semi-circle over the rocks. The shape and grandness of the falls was reminiscent of a smaller version of Niagara Falls. I later learned that it is for this reason that Cumberland Falls has earned the nickname, “The Niagara of the South.” We then continued the steep and moderately difficult trek to Eagle Falls, which was hidden in a small cove that reminded me of the mermaid’s lagoon from Peter Pan. The stream of water rushed down into a pristine, blue stream that wound through the rocks to join the Cumberland River. I sat on a rock like Wendy in the fairytale, gazing at the beauty before me while enjoying the spray of the waterfall.
All too soon, it was time to hike back to our car. The humidity of the air dripped sweat over our bodies, so by the time we got back to our vehicle, we were hot and soaked as if we had taken a dip in the water. We ate a quick lunch and then began the long drive to our campsite for the evening. On the way, we stopped at the grocery store for some Kentucky fried chicken and french fries to enjoy for dinner. Our campsite was a secluded spot with picnic tables and Adirondack chairs seated around fire rings. We made a campfire and then sat back to relax as the sky darkened around us and lightning bugs flew around our heads.
As the day drew to an end, I found myself thinking about the adventures of the past few days, and the few that we still had to enjoy. For the first time during this trip, I realized we had fewer days ahead than those left behind. Soon enough, we would be returning to home. Noah Kahan’s song, “The View Between Villages” ran through my mind as I thought of returning to our lives left behind. There is a comfort to being home, with the people we love and the familiar life we know. But as a traveler at heart, I feel like every time I return home, I notice the staleness in the air. The familiarity begins to feel like monotony. The four walls surrounding me, which should provide comfort, sometimes can feel suffocating. I find myself longing for views of mountains, for the hours spent in the car listening to music, for the fresh air to fill my lungs once again and the feeling of truly being alive.
But I know, if I were to stay out here forever, this, too, would become less exciting. The hours in the car would drone on. I would long for a real bed, for a temperature controlled environment, for clean clothes and showers. I would miss my family, my friends and my puppy. And as I have begun to create a life I love, I feel like I would miss the work I am doing, my community, and the team we have built.
I know why traveling feels more peaceful than home sometimes does – home is supposed to be filled with happiness and comfort, but it is also filled with all the struggles we have experienced, all the things we have lost and the memories long since left behind. Home, which should be our most peaceful place, is sometimes a bitter reminder of everything it is not.
Therefore, there is something exciting about the escape and the adventure that exists outside of home. I find a sense of familiarity in the mountains that call my name, and with Joseph by my side, I do wonder how long I could go without missing what I have left behind. But like anything else — the adventure, the holiday season, the people we love — it is the finality in them, the tragedy of endings, that makes the time sweet.
I hear the lyrics run through my head – The car’s in reverse, I’m gripping the wheel, I’m back between villages and everything’s still. I gaze around the beautiful, still night around me, close my eyes, and take in a deep breath of the sweet air. The adventure is almost over.
No, I tell myself, reversing the direction of my mind. I look to Joseph and grip his hand in mine. Life is about more than road trips and exploring new places. It’s about love, connection and the imprint we leave behind, and that, I realize, is more than enough reason to return. The adventure has just begun.
As someone certified as a nutrition coach, I know how important food is to our physical health. The phrase “food is fuel” is a frequent one in my industry. I know how many servings of carbohydrates, fats, proteins and vegetables a person should have in a day. I know how the micronutrients of different foods affect our health, and which foods to eat for different nutrient deficiencies. I know the power food has in our body, that it can be used as medicine for a number of different ailments, and it can also be a catalyst for a number of diseases.
I also know that food is more than just fuel. Good food is made with passion and love. Our sense of taste and a certain food can take us back to meaningful moments in our lives. Food plays a role in culture, family, holidays and special events. Food can be comforting. If we are honest with ourselves, our most favorite foods are most often not the foods that are the healthiest for our bodies, but rather evoke feelings and memories that are meaningful to us.
When planning our itinerary, I had not meant to create a day of our trip entirely dedicated to food, but day five was exactly that – no hiking, no boat rides through caverns, no long drives. Just food experience after food experience for an entire day. And to be honest, it was one of the days I was most looking forward to.
We began our morning with a short drive back into Louisville and then a walk under the hot sun to the Angel’s Envy distillery. As I mentioned in my first blog post for this trip, I had planned this road trip for Joseph’s birthday, and this tour was included just for him. Joseph’s drink of choice is bourbon, and his favorite bourbon is Angel’s Envy. I will admit, bourbon has always tasted, at best, like hand sanitizer to me, but I was still very excited for the tour because I knew Joseph would love it.
When we walked in, an older gentleman behind the front desk greeted us as Sir and Lady Mauler from Maryland.
“Do you know what the state sport is in Maryland?” he asked. Both Joseph and I looked at each other blankly. “This will be important for the tour later.”
“Really?” I asked, surprised. The older man’s eyes twinkled.
“Yes, jousting, remember that.” He looked down at his computer. “And I see this is a special occasion, a birthday.” I grinned as the man reached into his desk and then handed Joseph a silver Angel’s Envy lapel pin. The gentleman told us to meet him back in the lobby at the time of our tour, and then directed us into the adjacent gift shop. Joseph and I perused the items until the time came, when we joined our group.
The older gentleman introduced himself as our tour guide, and then went around to ask where everyone was from. When he got to us, he paused after we said our state, and then asked again,
“What’s the state sport in Maryland?”
“Um, I think it’s…jousting,” Joseph said, feigning a faint memory.
“Neither did they,” the tour guide said, and I couldn’t help but laugh.
Our tour guide lead us into the first room, where we were greeted with a wall of photos. He told us about the history of Angel’s Envy – how it was started by a father and son, both of whom were distillers. We learned about the strict laws surrounding bourbon – that it must be made in the United States; made using at least fifty-one percent corn; aged for at least two years in new, charred-oak barrels; must not be distilled higher than 160 proof; and must not contain any flavorings or colorings, among other strict guidelines. Angel’s Envy, apparently, made quite a stir when it hit the market because there is a special flavor to it that is unlike other bourbons. The bourbon policers (whomever those people may be) said it could not be a bourbon because they must have added some sort of flavoring. But, in fact, no flavoring had been added – after doing all the necessary requirements for it to be bourbon, Angel’s Envy distilled their bourbon a second time in a port wine casks, which gives it its distinct flavor. To avoid any grumblings, they labelled their product as a “finished” bourbon.
We were lead through the distillery to see how the ingredients are milled and fermented, and we were given the opportunity to taste the bourbon at all different phases. We first tried the fermented corn mash, which had the texture of porridge and had a sour taste. We were then given the opportunity to taste the bourbon in its purest form, when it was still clear, before being poured into barrels to age. It was poured into our hands, and we were encouraged to splash a little on our cheeks and take a small sip, if we dared. The liquid burned against my skin like aftershave and stung my brain. I was left gasping for air, both from the burning shock and surprised laughter.
We watched workers bottle the brown elixir, and learned that the company just recently received a machine to label the bottles. Until about a month ago, every bottle was labeled by hand. We were then lead into a beautiful, wooden room, where upon a long table two snifters filled with brown liquid and two chocolates, one dark and one white, had been placed at each seat.
“I’ve had many people, mostly women, come up and tell me before the tour that they don’t like bourbon,” our tour guide said. “Most of them bought this tour as a gift for their husbands.” I glanced at Joseph with a stifled laugh. “And I tell them that’s fine. But I’ve had a lot of converts in this room.”
Our tour guide lifted a glass and swirled the drink. He taught us how to gaze at the amber color, how to sniff with our mouths open so we could taste the fumes. And then, we each took a sip and were instructed to hold it in our mouths, to swish it around with the “Kentucky chew” to coat each part of our mouths, and then swallow to let it burn all the way down. It rested warm in my chest, what our tour guide called the “Kentucky hug.”
Our delicious pairing of bourbon, whiskey and chocolates
The burn from drinking whiskey is from our brains panicking when alcohol is consumed. Our brains turn off our taste buds in an effort to protect us. But after a moment, our brain realizes the experience was not as bad as it originally thought, and it turns everything back on. And since everything has now been coated with the liquid, we have acclimated ourselves. Now, we can taste the actual notes and intimate tastes of the bourbon.
I took another sip, and my eyes widened in shock. It was sweet like maple syrup and finished with a bitter aftertaste reminiscent chocolate and vanilla. The burn was entirely gone, and I was left instead with one of the most delicious drinks I had ever tasted. We paired the drink with the dark chocolate, which had been infused with orange, and it literally tasted like a bite of fruity pebbles cereal.
Our guide served us next with the same drink on ice, or “on the rocks.” The cold enhanced the flavors and made the drink more aromatic. We were then encouraged to try the drink in our second sifter – a rye whiskey finished in a rum barrel. This drink, too, was smooth and subtly sweet – I could taste the sweet rum notes balanced by earthy undertones. When paired with the white chocolate beside it, a gorgeous cinnamon and maple flavor emerged that tasted like pancakes.
I had not expected myself to be so easily converted. Joseph literally jumped for joy when I told him how much I loved the bourbon, and as we walked the Louisville streets to get some food, we talked about all the delicious ways we could now enjoy this drink together.
For brunch, we went to Con Huevos, a fast-food Mexican breakfast and lunch spot. Joseph ordered carne asada tacos, and I ordered a muchos huevos sandwich as a salad. The food was fine – nothing to call home about, but it was warm, tasty and filled our stomachs, and that was all we needed.
We walked the local shops, all of which were much too far out of our budget, and then strode back to our car to drive to Schimpff’s Confectionery, a candy shop in Jeffersonville that is one of the oldest, continuously operated and family-owned candy businesses in the United States. Open since 1891, this candy shop located in downtown Jeffersonville offers not only a wide array of candy, but also a 1950s soda fountain, a room dedicated to candy-making memorabilia, and a long counter separated by a class partition where customers can watch the candy be made just as it was a hundred years ago.
Schimpff’s Confectionery
When we arrived, the next demonstration was forty-five minutes away, but we had nothing important to get to, so we decided to stay. I was so glad we did. We walked the shop, perusing the candies and old equipment. We were surprised to find a cast used to create root beer barrels just like the ones Joseph bought from the historic candy shop we went to in Harpers Ferry just a few days before. We came across wooden machine with levers, and an older gentleman walked up and told us it was the first vending machine. He asked if we had any coins. Unfortunately, I did not, but I told him it was still cool to see it. The man looked around, and then he reached behind the machine for a small bowl filled with coins. He handed one to me with a wink.
Excitedly, I entered the coin and chose a peanut butter flavored candy. I pushed the lever, and a panel of wood dropped down to reveal the candy I had chosen on a small shelf. I cannot even describe the amount of childlike glee that filled me when I saw it happen. Joseph and I walked back to the counter to watch the demonstration that was about to begin, and I was surprised to see the gentleman who had told us about the vending machine was the candy maker! It was his family who had owned this shop for over a century.
His wife, an older woman with grandmotherly presence, sat in a chair beside him, and she explained the process as we watched her husband pour the red candy; fold, massage and pull it to the consistency and and shape he wanted; cut it to size; and then roll sheets of the candy through a press to create rows and rows of square-shaped mounds. He took the sheets of candies and dropped them onto the counter, where they broke apart and scattered into perfect little cubes of bright red, cinnamon candies.
The candies were placed in each of our palms, and I was surprised to find they were still warm to the touch. Red Hots have never been my favorite candy, but when I popped this one in my mouth, I was immediately whisked away to the flavor of Christmas morning. The cinnamon was subtle, sweet and warm, more reminiscent of a cinnamon roll than a Fireball shot.
After the demonstration, we bought a whiskey truffle to enjoy on our way back to the car. Our next stop was the Mainstrasse Village in Covington, KY, a German-American village and a historic district in the National Register of Historic Places. It was a little difficult to find, but once we did, we were greeted with a large mural of Frida Kahlo and charming buildings that looked like they jumped off the page of a storybook.
We chose to go to Bouquet Restaurant and Wine Bar for dinner, one of the most highly-rated restaurants by Cincinnati Magazine. We decided to splurge a little and treat ourselves to a tasting menu, which gave us the option to choose one dish from each section of the menu, and we enjoyed it with their offering of wine pairings for each dish. Normally, Joseph and I do not share dishes – our taste in foods is quite different. But we were each feeling a little adventurous, and Joseph shocked me by thoroughly enjoying every plate set before us. He is normally a much pickier eater than I am, but tonight, it warmed my heart to be able to share my love of food with him in a way I never had been able to before.
Each dish was elegantly prepared. We began with a strawberry salad drizzled with balsamic reduction and topped with spring onion pesto, pepitas, and Kentucky rose cheese. For our second course, we chose the wagyu beef meatballs, which were served on top of a earthy butternut squash and black garlic puree, drizzled with a balancing herb gremolata and topped with a spicy chili crisp. Our third course was the famous maple leaf farms duck, which was served with a medley of mushrooms, roasted carrots, kale, and smoked grapes, served on top of an earthy parsnip purée and drizzled with a tangy balsamic gastrique. For dessert, we shared the coconut cake, which was dusted with a coconut snow and toasted coconut flakes and topped with a scoop of sweet and citrusy mango sorbet. For each dish, we savored each note and shared what we loved most and of the memories the flavors evoked.
After our meal and far too many glasses of wine, we walked the shops and savored the sweet evening. Our stomachs were still far too full when we decided to head to our next stop – an ice cream shop. I thought I would burst from the amount of sweets I had eaten already, but we were told by locals we could not leave without trying the famous ice cream from Graeter’s. Joseph ordered a scoop each of Dutch chocolate and coffee chip. I went for something a little lighter to round out the evening and ordered a scoop of lemon sorbet. We sat outside to enjoy our treat under the warm glow of the evening sun, our frozen treats melting in the warm air and against our tongues.
My love for food was something that inspired me to get certified in nutrition. In my own journey, which, as it is for most, has been filled with both negative and positive relationships with different foods, I have learned how much of a role food plays in our lives. Food is fuel, and it is also so much more than that. Food is medicine, and it is also art. Food can be comforting, off-putting, healing, or sickening. It can be new and exciting, or cultural and familial. Food can be used to learn more about new people and places. How exciting is it to go share your favorite food with a new friend? How familial and possibly annoying can the question, “Where do you want to eat tonight?” become among couples? How comforting is a warm bowl of soup when you are sick, or your mother’s cooking when you just feel homesick? Would life be as sweet without the first refreshing, juicy bite of watermelon in the summer, or the first sip of thick, hot cocoa during the holiday season?
Me popping the champagne when we opened our new Evolve Wellness office
I tell my clients that food is, in fact, fuel, but to think of fueling more than just their physical bodies. Food also fuels our minds and our souls. Eating mindlessly does nothing for us, but mindfully eating a scoop of ice cream and savoring the creaminess on our tongues as we watch the sunset and savor summer? I think that does much more good than it does harm. Yes, we should take care of our physical bodies, and food plays an enormous role in that. But I do believe taste is one of our main senses for a reason, and it’s not so we can punish ourselves by eating celery all day.
Taste is meant to remind us of moments we have left behind, and to savor the ones we have now. We use the phrase “I can almost taste it,” for something exciting that is coming. We reserve our lips and tongues only for the sweetest things in life, and there is something beautiful in that. So, fuel your bodies, eat from the earth, and heal yourself with food, movement and love. And then, when you want it, give yourself a big scoop of ice cream and savor it in the summer sun’s glow. And if you feel like that’s the wrong thing to do, remind yourself just how much you loved ice cream as a child, how much that little one deserves this scoop of joy, and that your friendly, traveling nutrition coach told you eating ice cream for your inner child is even more healing than eating the “healthier” alternative.
What about your life excites you? What makes you get up out of bed in the morning and stay motivated during your day? For some of us, it’s simple, like our morning cup of coffee, followed by an afternoon cup later on. For others, we are inspired by our work or our families.
I realized on my very first trip with Joseph that exhaustion does not quite hit the same way on the road as it does at home. Excited for every day and the new experiences it would bring, I could survive on limited sleep and caffeine for days. Back at home, I require a full eight hours and some activity requiring me to pull myself out of bed early, or I will sleep even longer.
Today, after two very full days and nights with little sleep, that exhaustion was beginning to rise, but we still rose with the sun, packed up our car, and drove to our first stop as if we were much better rested than we were. We started our day at Cataract Falls, a recreation area with the largest waterfall in Indiana. Technically, it’s two waterfalls that create one big waterfall – the upper falls has a fall of twenty feet, while the lower falls (half a mile downstream) has a plunge of eighteen feet. We started at the upper falls, where we held ourselves up on the railing to avoid stepping onto the flooded wooden platform. The sound of the rushing water was deafening. The falls glided over the rocks and plunged into the water below. Lush greenery surrounded the water and sparkled with water droplets.
We walked through the woods to the next set of falls, which flowed down into a river where children were splashing in the water. Despite having traveled and fallen so far, the water was surprisingly calm, and that peace seemed to emanate into us as we gazed at the gorgeous cascades.
Upper Cataract Falls
Our next stop was Indianapolis, another surprisingly clean city. Our plan had been to go to the City Market, which was similar to yesterday’s West Side Market, though it seemed there were many more ready-to-eat food options available. However, we arrived a little too early and found most of the shops were not open yet. Stomachs grumbling, we decided to hunt for food elsewhere. After a quick search, we settled on a local brunch chain called Wild Eggs, which was only a half-mile walk away.
From the eclectic and bright, egg-themed decor to the variety of tasty menu options made with fresh and local ingredients, it was clear why this spot was so highly rated. Joseph and I sat at a booth and pointed and laughed to the many different paintings featuring eggs on top of mushrooms, arranged to look like flowers, inside avocados, and more.
For our meal, we ordered one of their special appetizers, breakfast popcorn, which was thick cut bacon drenched in syrup and served with a spicy dipping sauce. As someone who does not eat a lot of meat, it was not my favorite dish, but Joseph would have eaten the entire plate if I had not reminded him he still had his meal coming. Joseph ordered chicken and waffles, which were perfectly crispy and fluffy and tasted the perfect blend of sweet and salty with some syrup drizzled on top. I ordered the farmers market skillet, a blend of bell peppers, zucchini, yellow squash, wild mushrooms, broccoli, oven-roasted tomatoes, and home-fried potatoes, topped with melted cheddar cheese with two basted eggs like little suns sitting in clouds, all served in a white skillet serving dish. On the side, I received a homemade blueberry muffin that was so delicious, I couldn’t help but eat despite my stomach being close to bursting. To drink, Joseph ordered the chocolate kiss, a hot coffee spiked with coffee liqueur, Irish cream and creme de cocoa, topped with a generous dollop of whipped cream. There were a variety of mimosas also available – I chose the orange pineapple mimosa, which was a bright sweet and citrusy treat.
Stomachs groaning from the amount of food, we decided to walk around for a little while. We stopped for coffee at Starbucks, where we also purchased our first Been There series mug of the trip, and then perused the shops. We took note of the colorful streets adorned with flags of all colors of the rainbow, which I was surprised to see considering the conservative lean of the state. However, I learned later that Indianapolis is a dark blue section of the state surrounded by much more red. Therefore, pride flags were everywhere to see, and they were, well, proud of it. One of our favorite shops was Silver in the City, an unconventional gift store that sells jewelry, clothing, bags, books, and more. I am not sure if the store was just in Pride theme for June, or if it always has a similar collection, but Joseph and I both dragged each other around the store, smiling and laughing at the creative, funny and affirming items for sale.
Our stomachs now a bit more comfortable, we drove to Bluespring Caverns. The park does not take reservations for their boat tours, so we needed to arrive early enough that we would not miss our opportunity, and hopefully at a time where we would not be waiting too long for the next available tour. We pulled in just as the next tour was about to leave. We hurried inside, paid for our tour, and joined the group descending down the slippery sidewalk into the caverns below.
Even while we could still see sunlight, the air grew cold around us. I slipped into my jacket and stepped carefully down the steep decline to where boats were tied to a pier built beneath the ground. We sat on the benches in the boat, and our tour guide sat at the back to guide us through the caverns in the longest navigable underground river in the United States.
The caverns grew dim and quiet. The motor of the boat was so soft, we could still hear the occasional drip of water or scuttle of a cave fish below. The walls were slick and glinted in the boat’s light, although we were told not to touch them. The oils on our hands would immediately cease the growth of these formations. We floated through, gazing in wonder at the limestone formations. We learned on our tour that Indiana is known for its minerals, particularly limestone, which has been used in the capital in DC and the Taj Mahal in India. For this reason, anyone who owns land above ground also owns anything underneath their property.
As we reached a larger room where our boat could rest, our tour guide gave us the unique opportunity to experience the complete removal of our senses. First, we were given the opportunity to experience total silence – everyone was instructed to be quiet. Immediately, the caverns fell silent around us. There was not a single sound – not a drop of water, not an animal scuttling along the walls, not even my own heartbeat. For the first time in my life, I truly understood the phrase, “silence is deafening.” Faced with such a complete lack of noise, my ears strained hard to hear anything, and they seemed to create almost a faint ringing in my head, reminiscent of the way it sounds after a loud concert.
After this, we were plunged in total darkness. Our tour guide instructed us to put away all phones and cameras and turned off the lights of the boat. Darkness more complete than I had ever experienced encased us. It felt thick and suffocating. I could not even see my own hand in front of my face. I had thought before, on dark nights, I knew what darkness was, but this, underneath the ground and away from all forms of natural and artificial light, was like something out of a nightmare.
With the lights back on, our tour guide gave us one last experience of cave thunder. She took a seat cushion in her hands and, after instructing us all to remain silent, banged it against the benches. The resounding echoes through the caverns ricocheted off the walls, creating a sound reminiscent of thunder slowly rolling across the landscape. I smiled at the sound, remembering humid summer nights with lightning streaking across the sky and rain throwing itself against my windows as I sat curled with a book, watching the storm.
Joseph and I left the tour, both marveling at the unique experience – it had truly been unlike anything we had ever done before. Our travels often take us to places high in the sky, but never had we traveled so far below the ground.
Our next stop was Santa Claus, IN. Despite the time change working in our favor, we still arrived at the town much later than we had hoped. After checking the clock, we realized most of the town’s attractions were closing in just five minutes.
Joseph, who knows just how much I love Christmas and was looking forward to visiting, did not want us to miss our opportunity. He pulled the car onto the road fast and sped to the Santa Claus Museum, just two minutes before it closed. We found the door to the museum already locked, but lights were still on inside. I gave a tentative knock, hating myself for doing so – I remembered all too well my days in customer service, and the feeling of closing up shop when no customers were in the store, only to have someone arrive a few minutes before I was able to leave.
The door opened, and we found two women inside.
“We know you’re about to close, but can we just have a quick look around?” Joseph asked. The woman behind the desk smiled at us and gestured for us to come in.
“I’ve got this,” she said to the woman at the door. “You can go home.” She turned on the lights for us and asked if we had ever been here before. When we said we hadn’t, she explained the layout of the museum to us – where we could learn more about the history of the town, read letters written to Santa Claus all the way back to the early 1900s, the gift shop, the model train room, and Santa’s office. She seemed disappointed we would not have the entire experience, and after a while, she ended up turning on Christmas lights and music for us to enjoy while we perused.
“Take your time,” she repeated to us multiple times. “Enjoy it.” As I gleefully skipped to another room with the excitement of a child on Christmas morning, I heard Joseph tell the woman just how much I love the holiday and how special this was.
We read about the history of the town – originally called Santa Fee, the town applied for a post office in the 1850s. Its application was rejected because there was another town called Santa Fe in Indiana. According to legend, it was Christmas Eve, and the town was gathered to discuss new possible names. Suddenly, a gust of wind blew open the doors to the church, and sound of sleigh bells drifted inside. The children ran to the door shouting, “Santa Claus!” And thus, the name of the town was decided.
For over a hundred years, letters have poured into Santa Claus, IN from children with their Christmas wishes. Every December, letters have been written back, by the volunteer “elves” or even the ultimate postmaster, Santa Claus himself.
We read through the letters, which brought us both to laughter and tears at the childhood love and innocence captured inside. It was neat to compare the wishes of children in the early 20th century to now, and surprisingly, they did not seem all that different. We watched the train circle the track and turned the globe on Santa’s desk. When we were finished, the woman handed us a set of keys and gave us the opportunity to go into the historic church and post office, where we would have the opportunity to write a letters of our own.
The church was as it was years ago, with a partition as soon as you walked in to separate men and women. At the front, an almost life-size nativity sat. I sat down in a wooden pew and was reminded vividly of a field trip when I was in elementary school to a one-room schoolhouse. This place was just as old and filled with memories.
We met our guide at the post office, where we were given papers and pencils to write our letters. We sat in desks designed for much smaller people and, after a moment of thinking, began to write.
The post office in Santa Claus, IN where we got to write our letters
We thanked our host profusely before we left – she had given us almost an hour of her time, when she should have been home by now. She informed us this was her job after retirement, and she does it simply because she loves it so much. It had been a truly heartwarming experience for us, and multiple times I was brought to tears by just how grateful I was that we had not missed it.
We stopped by the store for some more wine and charcuterie (we had not had our fill the night before), and drove to our campsite. There, we started a fire and sat beside a lake as we ate and watched the sky slowly dim from blue to pink to indigo.
Christmas means quite a lot to me. There was a period in my life when every day, the first thing I did when I woke up was check how many days there were left until the holiday. Until this day, I still start planning my gifts in July. Joseph and I do activities all December long to celebrate advent, and we most likely will be celebrating Christmas in July as well. The thing that got me up in the morning, for many years, was just that one special day.
It seems silly, but for me, Christmas was something to look forward to when there was not much else in my life to be excited about. I had a very long hospital stay in the month of December when I was in high school, and I got out just in time for Christmas. Still frail and very dejected, I remember, in the middle of Christmas baking at home alone, climbing onto the counter to be closer to the radio so I could listen to Christmas song playing as tears streamed down my face. It felt like Christmas had almost been stolen from me, and I vowed to never let that happen again. As my health worsened, I looked forward all year to the holiday season, which was so filled with love and joy that it spilled light into what was the darkest time in my life.
I am grateful now to have so much more worth waking up for. I do not remember when I stopped checking the Christmas countdown daily – it probably faded to every couple days, to once a month, to now the occasional check every couple months and the stir of excitement I still feel when I see the numbers tick down. And as my need for Christmas cheer year-round faded, I filled that space with joy from other areas of my life – strong friendships, sharing my writing, my career, my ever-improving health, my adoring husband, traveling the country, my sweet puppy.
Christmas may seem to be an odd thing to motivate someone, but for me, it quite literally saved my life in a lot of ways. And when I think about it, it does not seem to me to be such an awful thing to rely on. It is dependable – it comes every year, whether we want it to or not. It is filled with family gatherings, normally whether we want that or not, too. And no matter what, it has a crisp air filled with hope, a joy that warms even the frostiest hearts, and a love that surpasses understanding. For me, as I have found hope elsewhere in my life, I have tried to carry those values with me, so maybe I can bring a little of that spirit anywhere I go. After all, I think we all could use a little more joy, love and hope.
No matter what it is that excites you to wake up in the morning, the glimmers you find throughout your day, the hope that keeps you alive, embrace it. Others may find it strange to find an adult running through Santa Claus, IN with more excitement than any child visiting, or, as I have encountered more often in my life, people unfortunately often chastise others for talking too much about their passions, for being “obsessed” with the things they love. There is nothing wrong with enjoying this life, with noticing the little things others take for granted, for being excited about something that brings you joy. Embrace your glimmers and hold them tight to your heart.
And if you want to share them with someone, I’m always here with a cup of coffee and an eager ear. More than anything else, my biggest glimmer has become listening to others speak about what they are passionate about, even if it holds no interest to me. I love seeing that light brighten in someone’s eyes, to listen to their voice pick up speed and pitch and watch as their hands start move enthusiastically as they speak. I love just being human with someone. It gives me hope to listen to other people’s stories and to encourage their passions.
If you’re feeling a little stumped as to what your New Year’s resolutions should be in 2023, I have 23 suggestions that will positively impact your mental & physical health.
In fact, even if you already have your resolutions made, these 23 healthy habits are ones that anyone can incorporate into their life. They focus on your mental & physical wellbeing, as well as the wellbeing of those around you. Some of the habits will challenge you to step outside your comfort zone, while others will encourage you to stay safe & cozy inside.
Adopt a few habits that resonate most with you, or make 2023 the year of radical change in your life & adopt them all. By the end of the year, you may find your lifestyle has changed for the better, your mindset is one of abundance & gratitude, & your health is the best it’s ever been.
We are all guilty of it, myself included. In fact, this is my main resolution for 2022 – be more intentional with my time. It’s too easy to work until we feel burnt out, & then spend an hour or two scrolling through social media or bingeing TV shows on Netflix. The activities may seem restful, but I never feel filled after doing them. In fact, I feel just as tired as ever & less productive.
This is the year I decided that would change. I bought some colorful pens & a planner with which I could plan every hour of my day. With it, I schedule everything: Work, play, house chores, & more. With scheduled time every day for self-care, I always know when the next rest period is coming. That makes my hours of work more productive, & my self-care time much more meaningful. I’m actually sitting down to read a book or rolling out my yoga mat to stretch! House chores are getting done, & I can spend date night focused on my husband instead of thinking about what I have to get done the next day.
You don’t have to plan every hour of your day to be intentional with your time. Setting timers on apps, making to-do lists, & focusing on the present moment are all great ways to bring more intentionality & productivity to your day.
As a nutrition coach, I know that food has many meanings for us. It can be source of comfort or stress. Certain foods can bring back warm, comforting memories, & there are certain dishes that are traditional to eat at various family gatherings & holidays. But first & foremost, food is fuel. It is what gives us energy & makes our brains & bodies work.
When we eat to fuel our bodies, we are more likely to focus on nourishment rather than restriction, & we are more likely to eat healthier options. There is nothing wrong with indulging in a treat every once in a while, but when you eat to fuel your body, you are more likely to eat whole food sources throughout your daily life. And in order for your brain & body to work at peak performance, they must be fueled adequately, which means no more restrictive dieting or starvation. Good food, & lots of it, is what your body needs.
This is something almost all of us can improve on. Aim for at least eight cups of water a day (if you can drink more, even better!). Our bodies need water for proper organ function, gut health, brain function, & more.
4. Spend more time outdoors
Me running in some snow flurries
The sun has lots of benefits for our mental & physical health, including an increase in serotonin (one of our “happy hormones”), an increase in Vitamin D, & stronger bones. Aim to get at least 15 minutes of sunlight a day. You can go for a walk, sit outdoors at a restaurant, or even just enjoy a cup of coffee on your porch.
Too often, I see people exercising as a form of punishment or as a trade-off for food (because they burned this many calories, now they can eat these many calories). Exercise is meant to make us feel better. It strengthens our muscles & bones, releases serotonin, improves our sleep, improves gut health, gives us an energy boost, & more! It is not meant to be a punishment for indulging in a special treat, or to be a required activity before eating.
Move your body in loving ways. Find types of exercise that you enjoy, & do them because they make you feel good. When your body is sore, make time to stretch your tired muscles. It’s a wonderful feeling to discover how far you have progressed in an exercise regimen & to feel yourself getting stronger & healthier. Make it a regular self-care habit in your life, & appreciate your body for all that it does.
6. Make time for self-care
Me meditating by the water
Whether it be exercise, reading, taking hot baths, or spending time doing a hobby, it is important to regularly engage in self-care. Schedule in that time with yourself, & make it as much of a priority as you would a meeting with your boss. Do activities you know you love, or try something new! The most important part is that you are taking time out of your day to take care of your mind, body, and/or spirit. The activity is up to you!
7. Spend time with people you love
Me with my family on Father’s Day
Do something positive for your mental health & for the mental health of your loved ones by spending time with them. Studies show spending time with family & friends can help improve your self-confidence & self-worth, help you cope with difficult stressors, & can give you a greater sense of purpose. Even better, spending time with those we love decreases stress, which, in turn, means less inflammation in the body.
Whether it’s in person or over the phone, make time regularly in your schedule to talk to & spend time with the people that matter most in your life.
8. Become fiscally fit
Money is a huge stressor for many people. Debt looms over the heads of college students, new home owners, & anyone who has ever missed a credit card payment, & trying to pay off that debt while paying other bills, buying food, & trying to enjoy life can be a major stressor.
Take time this year to become more fiscally fit. Find a budget that works for you & stick to it. If you need help, there are lots of books & online programs available. Find one that works best for you. Simply having the knowledge of how much money you have & where it is allocated can be an enormous relief. Once you know what you can afford to spend, it becomes less stressful to be spending. And creating a savings account that you regularly add to can be a great self-confidence boost & a source of comfort for the future.
You don’t have to go far to reap the benefits of traveling. Even just going on a road trip to a nearby state or a day trip around your own city is a great place to start. Make an itinerary, or just see where the wind takes you! Explore, try new foods, meet someone new – make it a trip you will never forget, even if it’s just a short walk from your own neighborhood.
10. Try a new hobby
Baking mini pumpkin pies for Thanksgiving
There are so many things to try in this life! Kayaking, painting, baton twirling – the list is endless! Find something new that you have always wanted to try & give it a shot! Whether it ends in you mastering the skill, or in a heap on the floor laughing at yourself, it’s a great experience to step outside your comfort zone & try something new.
11. Live more sustainably
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As I always say, we only have two homes – our bodies & the earth. We have to take care of both of them.
Whether it’s a huge change like biking to work each day, or a smaller change like remembering to turn off the light whenever you leave the room, you are making a difference in the sustainability of our planet. And a lot of the changes you can make are healthier for you as well! Biking to work means increased physical fitness, better cardiovascular health, & more time spent in sunlight. Turning off the lights means a decreased energy bill, which is a fiscally fit lifestyle change. Natural cleaners are great for the environment & for reducing the toxins we breathe, & eating more vegetables & fruits means fewer animal products eaten, which is healthier for you & for reducing carbon emissions.
It can be overwhelming to try to live a completely sustainable lifestyle, so instead, pick at least one sustainable living habit & make it a regular practice in your daily life.
Brighten someone else’s day (& your own day as well) by doing random acts of kindness! It can be huge gestures like paying for someone’s meal at a restaurant, or smaller things like holding the door open for someone. The idea behind it is that it goes without notice – don’t pull attention to yourself or take credit for what you have done. And, if someone does insist on thanking you, tell them to pay it forward! Keep the kindness train moving!
We all need a little encouragement. Give out compliments as if you have too many to hold. Let people know what you like about them! You get bonus points if you can move past appearance. Compliment someone’s work ethic, their positive attitude, or how they parent their kids. It can be a huge boost to someone’s self-confidence, & their smile will be infectious – you will end up smiling, too!
If you can, read lots of books. Whether it’s to learn something new or to escape into another world, books are a great way to engage in self-care. Additionally, reading has been shown to strengthen our brains, increase empathy, reduce stress, & improve our memory retention. Find a book in a subject that interests you or a story that makes you want to keep turning the pages & get reading!
The environment we live in has a direct impact on our physical & mental wellbeing. Just keeping our desk clean can greatly reduce stress & improve our productivity. Even more than this, keeping a clean home means fewer germs & reduced stress in the space that is supposed to give us rest.
If you want to go above & beyond, get a plant! Despite the climate-controlled buildings we have been living in for so long, humans used to live in nature, & our minds & bodies still reap benefits from having nature in our living quarters.
I am absolutely fascinated by biophilic design, which connects people with nature within our buildings & communities. People have done some really amazing architectural feats to achieve this balance between architecture & nature, but simply bringing some plants into your home can have some incredible health benefits, including reduced stress & air purification.
Gratitude transforms our mindset from one of scarcity to abundance. It turns what we have into enough.
Ending each day by writing down a few things you are grateful for can have enormous benefits for your mental health, including reduced stress, better emotional regulation, & increased resilience. The more specific you are in the things you write, the more effective this practice will be.
Just like we should be handing out compliments regularly to the people we are with, we should also be sharing them with ourselves. How long would you stay in a relationship with someone who spoke to you the way that you do? Would it be a healthy, long marriage, or would you not even make it past the first date?
Use kind words. When things go wrong, have grace for yourself. Encourage yourself & take time each day to build yourself up, not tear yourself down. It seems simple, but speaking more positively to ourselves can radically transform our lives. Our mindset is in control of how we perceive the world & ourselves, & when we have a more positive outlook of our life situation & an appreciation for who we are, we can gain increased self-confidence, increased self-worth, & perhaps even a better understanding of what purpose we may play in this world.
Social media can be a source of information & connection, but it can also be draining & stressful. Take some time to go through the accounts that you are following & unfriend the ones that are no longer adding value to your life or, even worse, are contributing to any toxic thoughts or habits you may be engaging in. Fill your feed with positivity & useful information that helps you engage in healthier habits. And when you do interact, consider setting a time limit. Time slips away when we are scrolling through our feeds, & that can be a huge detriment to our productivity & quality of life.
I don’t necessarily mean face your darkest fears, but do something this year that makes you step outside of your comfort zone. Whether that’s standing up for yourself at work or telling a friend how much they mean to you, doing something that makes us cringe can increase our self-confidence & self-worth. Go on a trip, try a new food, sign up for a talent show – even if it doesn’t go as planned, you can still look back with pride knowing that you faced your fear.
Regular routines can help us de-stress & feel motivated for our days. Have a regular morning routine that excites you to get out of bed in the morning can help you feel refreshed & energized for your day. You can spend time journaling, reading, washing your face, exercising, making a fancy breakfast – there are so many possibilities. And at night, engage in activities that help you relax & rewind from the day. Journal about what you’re grateful for, wash the day off your face, & spend time reading or engaging in a quiet activity away from screens. It will improve your sleep, reduce stress, & help you feel more refreshed the next morning.
Too often, we spend the moments other people are talking to think about what we want to say next instead of really listening to what they are saying. Make listening a priority this year.
When I was little, I was always told the phrase, “You have two ears & one mouth, & they should be used in that proportion.” I find this holds up in almost every situation in my life. Even when I feel I have something meaningful to say, or when I am debating about an important topic, I find whatever point I wanted to make or thought I wanted to share can always wait. And when I take the time to listen to the person I am talking with, I often find we are more aligned in our thoughts than we realize. Coming to a conclusion, having empathy for one another, & building a healthy relationship all become more more probable when I take the time to listen to what someone is saying.
Engaging in a regular mindfulness practice has numerous benefits. From lowering stress to decreased blood pressure, mindfulness exercises like meditation, mindful walking & yoga can help increase our quality of life. This year, your resolution can be to set aside regular time in your day – when you first wake up, right before you go to bed, or whenever you are feeling stressed – to take time to be present & mindful.
The best habit I can ever recommend to anyone is to have regular check-ins with yourself. Make time each morning to think about how you are feeling, & based on that information, schedule in time that day for what you need. If you are still feeling tired, maybe a little 20-minute nap would be good this afternoon, or maybe a nice hot cup of coffee is a good way to start the day. If you are feeling sore, take some time to stretch. Or, if you’re feeling lonely, make it a point to call someone you love today.
Check-in with yourself at the end of a long week & see how you are feeling. Are you energized by the work & want to be productive this weekend, or do you need some extra time to relax & recharge before Monday comes again?
Scheduling regular check-ins about work, school, exercise programs, relationships, & just general well-being can be immensely helpful in discovering what you actually need in your life to be healthier, mentally, physically & spiritually. Too often we rush through life without actually thinking about how we feel. Sit down with yourself the way you would with a good friend & make time for your inner voice to be heard.
What are your resolutions for 2023? What healthy habits are you adding to your lifestyle? Leave me a comment below!
As I reflect back on the past year, I am reminded of all the good memories, the amazing new places I visited, & the new friends I made. But I am also reminded of the lessons I learned that have made me into who I am today. Some I had to relearn from years before, & some are new life lessons in my 24th year of life.
These 22 lessons are ones that have changed the way I view myself & the world around me, & my hope is to carry them into my next year of life.
Read on for the 22 lessons I learned this year, & leave a lesson you learned in the comments! Let’s all share some of our wisdom from the past year.
1. My emotional health is my responsibility. Boundaries are healthy, even with the people we love.
2. Adult friends are hard to make. It’s easier when you take the initiative to invite people out for a cup of coffee.
3. However, not everyone likes coffee (I know, shocking). It makes it less awkward if you have a second place in mind as a back-up.
4. It’s okay to treat yourself every once in a while. It’s okay to treat yourself every day. It’s okay to treat yourself whenever you feel like it. It’s okay to treat yourself…period.
5. Getting up early to exercise is self-care. Sleeping in a little more is also self-care. Figure out what it is your body needs.
6. My body this year has more curves & less muscle tone than it ever has. It is also my most loved body. It is still strong & nimble, but it has also been given space & time to rest. Your most loved body does not have to look like what other people consider healthy.
7. The people you have the hardest time understanding are the people you should take more time to understand.
8. Introversion & extroversion is a scale. We all need alone time, & we all need time spent with the people we love.
9. Lots of people are opinionated. The goal is not to find people without opinions – it is to find people who are willing to learn & not push their opinions on others. You should try to be this kind of person, too.
10. Compassion & empathy are different, & each one has its place.
11. You are who your younger self needed.
12. But also, it is okay if there are things about you your younger self would not be proud of. You are still growing, & also, your younger self did not know everything.
13. Three of the best things we can give ourselves: Movement, sunlight & water. These can also be called love, light & nourishment.
14. The word “no” does not always have to be followed by “I’m sorry.” Sometimes just “no” is sufficient.
15. You’re welcome is not the only way to respond to “thank you.””My pleasure,” “of course,” or (my favorite) “I love you” are much better choices.
16. It does not matter how slow you go. The miles pass anyway, & the finish line is still there when you reach the end.
17. You know the things you are willing to lose sleep over because they make you so happy & excited? Fill your life with more of those things.
18. Forgive yourself for any unhealthy habits you picked up when you were in survival mode. They helped you make it through to where you are now.
19. But also, just because those habits served you then does not mean they are serving you now. You do not have to keep doing them. Have grace for yourself in the process of letting them go.
20. It is okay if people do not understand why you love your passions. Do them anyway.
21. Dairy is not good for you. Also, I am going to eat dairy until the day I die.
22. It is okay if you look different now than you did going into the pandemic. Believe it or not, it has been a few years. And none of us were prepared for that.
Learn more about our new Energy Coach, Julie Kolb, here
by Jolie Kolb
Earlier this week Tyler sent out a list of seminars the Evolve team would be doing during the month of December. As I reviewed it, December 8th we are speaking on finding joy during the holiday season. This sounded like an awesome idea; the only problem was, I was finding it difficult to find joy myself. How am I supposed to help others with something I’m not sure I can accomplish myself?
This time of year is a challenge when it comes to maintaining positive energy. My boyfriend and I had already gotten into an argument about Thanksgiving plans, the bills are due and somehow there needs to be money for holiday shopping, everyone’s stress level is higher as we try to accomplish all the things, and then there are the ever-lingering memories of holidays past and the reminder of how things have changed which tug at the heartstrings. Yet this time of year is to be about the energy of joy. If I was going to speak about it, first I had to find it for myself. So I set out on a journey to find joy.
I started in the most logical place, asking my friends. This led to some interesting discussions about how it has to be in the little things and in things that don’t have anything to do with other people. This seemed like a conundrum since the holidays are supposed to be about friends and family. So now I’m looking for things that have nothing to do with other people, in a season that is about other people. At this point I did the most logical thing I could think of and booked myself a one hour salt float. Perhaps some time alone floating in a pool of salt would give me the clarity that I needed. My energy shifted with excitement as soon as I hit the “confirm” button on my float reservation. The relaxation time would definitely bring me joy.
If you have never floated, basically the way it works is that you get into a giant bathtub filled with salt water that has enough salt in it that you automatically float. The bathtub is in an enclosed pod. The doors close and eventually all the lights go out, although you can turn on lights if you choose. I settled in and began to float, eventually the lights went out and it was pitch black. I lay there for awhile trying to relax my mind. At some point I decided I wanted to turn the lights on, but in the darkness, I could not find the switch. I began feeling my way around the tank, unable to find the door or the switch, panic began to set in. It was completely dark and I couldn’t see anything and I knew that no one could hear me. I continued to frantically feel around the walls looking for the handle to the door. Eventually I found it, realizing that I had gotten turned around so that everything that had been on my left was now on my right. I opened the door and let in some light and found the switch to turn on the lights inside the pod. Settling back down into the water I began to reflect on this experience. I was here to relax and find joy. Why did I feel it necessary to look for a way out? Why when I couldn’t find the light switch could I not just relax knowing that in 50 minutes the lights would come on anyway? Why couldn’t I surrender to the experience without having an exit strategy?
After my float, feeling much more relaxed, I sat down to contemplate this journey to joy. It seems to me that if I am going to find joy this holiday season, and help others to do the same, then it has to be a path led solely by the heart. The minute my head gets into the mix, things go awry and it seems I self-sabotage my own mission. How many times are we our own roadblock to joy? I set the intention to get out of my own way this holiday season and to focus on following my heart on this journey to joy. Easier said than done? I have no doubt. But if there is one thing I have learned on the adventure of self-exploration, there are always lessons to be learned and obstacles to overcome. I am looking forward to taking on this challenge of staying in my heart space as we welcome in the holidays and can’t wait to share what I learn along the way.
Join us on Thursday, December 8 at 7:30pm for an online seminar about Finding Joy, not just during the holiday season, but every day of your life. Learn more & sign up here.
I am excited to announce that I am partnering with One More Day in the month of September to help raise awareness for suicide prevention!
One More Day is a nonprofit organization started by a friend of mine, Amanda Murray. One More Day creates apparel to help raise awareness of suicide & encourage those struggling that it only takes “the strength to see it through to one more day…”
This month, we are offering a Sunshine Box special – buy a personalized box filled with self-care items for you or a loved one, & receive a One More Day shirt to spread awareness to this worthy cause!
Learn more & buy here (this link will open another tab & take you to our secure Evolve website to purchase the box).
There is something truly special about music. It touches the human soul in a way that words alone never will (a fact I must come to terms with every day given my chosen profession). Music has the power to make us feel any range of emotions, to connect across borders that seem to divide us, & to create movement in moments of life that seem stagnant & still.
For over a decade, my favorite band has been Imagine Dragons. Their lyrics are enchanting poetry, & the breadth of their musical talent has always made me want to turn up my headphones to the loudest setting & listen for hours. Even more than that, though, the authenticity & vulnerability of their music is something I both appreciate & respect. Their music helped me through some of my most difficult years. I grew up with their songs on my Favorites playlist. I started my day with them, & I fell asleep at night listening to their melodies. Their music inspired me to keep moving, to follow my dreams, & to never give up. Most importantly, their words taught & reassured me that, no matter what I was going through in life, I was not alone.
For my birthday, my husband, Joseph, gifted me the bucket list item I had been wanting to cross off for years: Concert tickets to Imagine Dragons. Because the two of us can never resist making a travel opportunity out of any trip, no matter how small, we booked an Airbnb & packed our bags for a weekend in Pittsburgh.
The drive in was a bit treacherous with moments of snow so thick we couldn’t see the cars in front of us. Driving along slowly, we finally broke free of the storm & arrived in sunny but chilly Pittsburgh. We crossed over the bright yellow bridge into the city, looking out over the harbor.
“You know, Pittsburgh is known for their bridges,” I remarked, looking out at the many bridges we could see just from our current point of view.
“Is that true, or are you just saying that because you see bridges,” Joseph asked, to which I laughed.
“It’s true,” I insisted. As it turns out, this is true, but not nearly to the extent that I had been thinking. Pittsburgh has 446 bridges, more than any other city in the entire world! It is actually known as the “City of Bridges,” & these structures connect all different parts of the city that used to be isolated from each other by valleys, creeks & rivers.
Our first stop was our Airbnb. We had booked a private room in a red mansion with high ceilings & chandeliers. In our room, old radiators, an antique sink with two faucets (one for hot water, & the other for cold), a wooden writing desk, & collectible toys & games added to the old-fashioned ambience.
We drove to Point State Park to see the fountain, which, unfortunately, was not currently in use. It was easy to see why – the river that surrounded it was covered in large chunks of ice. The wind off the water was bitterly strong – it stung our faces & cut through our many layers, chilling us to the bone.
We left the park to walk up the nearby streets in search of a spot for dinner. I had wanted to try a famous Pittsburgh pierogi, but all of the shops that sold them were closed or too far away to walk. Instead, we chose Revel, a refined American restaurant that serves hand-crafted cocktails & an array of breakfast, lunch & dinner options. The restaurant was full, but luckily there was one table left for the two of us. For drinks, we ordered the Barrel-Aged Manhattan (for Joseph), a drink that’s normally bitter but here went down smooth & warm, & the Blackberry-Sage Margarita (for me), a sweet drink with a well-balanced sour & earthy punch that went down far too easily. To give a nod to Pennsylvania, we decided to start with the Bavarian Pretzel, which was served warm, sprinkled with flaky rosemary sea salt & served with a ramekin filled with creamy drunken bechamel sauce. For dinner, we shared the Mixed Grill, a dish that allows you to choose your protein & sides to make a unique plate. We chose succulently cooked steak, buttery shrimp, roasted brussels sprouts that were drowned in a balsamic sauce, all served on top of savory, tri-colored fingerling potatoes.
Our seating & restaurant choice led us to a fortuitous encounter with another couple who were also on their way to the concert. We spent our dinner at two separate tables of two that really should have been pushed together to make one table of four – we chatted through appetizers, dinner & drinks, getting to know one another & swapping stories. Lindsey & Joseph connected over their professions in the mental health field. Lindsey & I connected over our love for Imagine Dragons, & Jason & Joseph connected over the fact that they are both such kind partners to gift their significant others tickets to their favorite band.
Near the end of the meal, Jason kindly offered their parking pass to us, saying it was just going to go to waste. He & Lindsey had booked a hotel close to the concert & planned on walking instead. Per his insistence, we accepted graciously. The plan before this was to walk all the way back to our car after the concert, which I was growing more & more anxious about by the second. The walk was going to be 20 minutes on the darkened streets in Pittsburgh in high winds & freezing weather. I was more than willing to trade sitting in concert traffic for 20 minutes in a heated car.
We departed to go to the concert, which was hosted at the PPG Paints Arena. The crowd was enormous! I had not been around this many people since the start of COVID! We bought merchandise to serve as a souvenir, & then found our seats just before the lights began to dim.
The Imagine Dragons Mercury World Tour concert in Pittsburgh
The concert did not just meet my expectations – it greatly exceeded them. Everything was perfect. All of the elements of the concert, including videos, lights, stage movement, & more, worked seamlessly together to tell a story. And it was a story we could all connect with – the pain, struggle, & grief that we experience in life, & yet the beauty that can be found as well. I can’t remember any two hours ever passing faster – I was entranced for the entirety of it, moving with the music, screaming the lyrics with the crowd, & wiping tears that had sprang to my eyes from the beauty of it all.
At the end of the concert, there was no encore. As we were reaching the end, I was wondering if there would be. It seemed they had played every song in their discography, & each one was performed at the level that an encore would be. What Imagine Dragons did was even more perfect. The concert began with the first song of their latest album, Mercury – Act 1, but they left it unfinished & moved on to the next song in their program. At the end of the concert, they picked it up where they left off & ended on the most powerful note of the entire night. It was a story that came full circle, with an ending so beautiful, there was no need for anything more.
It was all we could talk about on the ride home. It was all I could talk about while laying in bed that night. It was all I could dream about all night long. The concert had been cathartic. It had touched my soul in the way only music can. It was as if the songs brought up all of the deepest hurts I had experienced thus far in my life & all the memories I had experienced with this music as my only comfort, but then they wiped the tears from my face & whispered to me that I’m not alone, & it’s all going to be okay.
The following morning, my bliss was brought by an abrupt halt with a blinding pain that brought very different tears to my eyes. In an attempt to avoid the hot radiator in our room, I stubbed my pinky toe on the antique bed post. Eyes squeezed shut, thinking of nothing but pain, I hopped around the room on one foot, holding my other injured foot in my hands.
“Are you okay,” Joseph asked, staring at me with wide eyes. I glanced down at my foot to see the toe had already swelled & turned bright red.
We had a few plans still left in our Pittsburgh itinerary, & I am never one to quit, so I stuffed my injured foot in my hiking boot & insisted I was fine. Limping along behind Joseph, we went to visit the Monongahela Incline, a passenger railway built in 1870 that travels straight up the side of Mount Washington. At the top, we were able to get a fantastic view of the Pittsburgh skyline, complete with a couple bridges stretching across the river.
We stopped for coffee at Grand Brew & then went to Grandview Bakery & Sweet Shop for a small breakfast. I ordered the lemon bar, which was four times the size of the normal dessert. The tender crust was perfectly baked, & the curd was both gooey & tangy – precisely what a lemon bar should be. It was finished with a dusting of powdered sugar like freshly fallen snow. Joseph ordered his first ever eclair, & he was happy to report that it did not disappoint. The pastry cream was creamy & not too sweet, while the dough was so flaky it practically melted on the tongue. The chocolate topping was just enough to taste & add nuance to the dessert, but not so much that it overwhelmed the flavor. And once again, the portion size was enough to fill an entire family, but of course, we couldn’t let the sweet confections go to waste.
After breakfast, we returned to our car to drive to our final destination – Ohiopyle State Park, known for its spectacular waterfall views just an hour outside of the city. Despite my aching injured toe, we hiked the entirety of the three-mile Meadow Run Trail, which features two different waterfalls & natural waterslides. Most likely from the recent snowfall, the water was rushing over the rocks, crashing so loud that it was difficult to hear any conversation. But the result, instead of being chaos, was serenity. Long vines & branches dipped into the water, & where the current had touched the leaves, ice grew, weighing the trees down even farther. Where water normally cascaded off high perches, ice instead reached down towards the river below, sparkling in the sunlight. And all along the bank, stones made smooth by the rushing water were piled up amongst one another, revealing that, if we stand firm & strong, the pressures of life do not break us, but instead, smooth our rough edges & leave us even more peaceful than before.
There is so much pain in life. There are so many moments where the world around us seems like chaos, like water rushing past with a current so strong if we dared step in, we would be swept away. Life is plagued with grief & disappointments, & often, it can leave us feeling hopeless & alone.
But so many of these painful aspects of life actually contribute to its beauty. So often, we are focused on the chaos, when at any moment, we could turn & notice the peace that is just a few steps away in another direction. There are so many moments that make us want to scream, but an equal amount that make us sing. The finite nature of life is what makes the temporary moments of beauty so special. And grief itself is love for things that are no longer here with us on earth.
The most important thing to remember when traversing this life is that we are not alone. In the body of people at that concert, as we all sang as one, the lyrics touching all of our hearts, it was clear that we are all hurting, beautiful, complex, & magnificent beings. We are catastrophes & yet masterpieces. We are products of the system, & yet each us is unique in so many ways.
“I’m an apostrophe. I’m just a symbol to remind you that there’s more to see.” If you are struggling, I hope this will be the message you need. I am an apostrophe – so much of who I am seems insignificant in this world, & yet, here you are reading my work. And I want you to know that there is so much more to this life. There is so much beauty & struggle & joy & pain to experience, & you are not alone in any of those things. Your life matters, your presence brings value to the lives of those around you, & your story is not over yet.
If you’re feeling a little blue this month, you may be one of the estimated 10 million Americans that struggle with seasonal affective disorder (SAD).
SAD is a type of seasonal depression that affects 10-20% of Americans every year. The exact cause for SAD is not known, but it is associated with the reduced amount of sunlight, which lowers our serotonin production, increases our production of melatonin, & messes with our natural circadian rhythms, altogether leaving patients feeling drowsy, less happy, & even disoriented.
Accordingly, if there’s less sunlight, that means there are more hours of darkness, which creates an increase in the hormone melatonin. Melatonin is the hormone that makes us feel tired at night & helps us fall asleep. The excess amount of melatonin produced in the winter can make us feel more tired & lead to lower energy levels throughout our day.
This change in the amount of daylight also messes with our natural circadian rhythms. When we sleep at different hours of the day than normal or get more or less sleep than our bodies naturally desire, it can lead to feelings of grogginess & disorientation. It can also negatively affect our sleep quality, which also leads to lower energy levels throughout the day.
If you believe you are struggling with SAD or another form of seasonal depression, here are 10 holistic strategies for fighting off the winter blues & taking care of your mental health this season.
This is one of the most important coping mechanisms for SAD. As stated above, SAD is associated with the reduced amount of sunlight, so a reasonable treatment is to increase your daily dose of the sun’s rays. Even just 15 minutes spent in direct sunlight can have enormous benefits on your mental health. Going for a walk or just sitting on your porch drinking coffee & soaking in the sun’s rays can increase your levels of serotonin & vitamin D, leading to increased levels of energy & feelings of happiness.
If you are unable to spend more time in the sun, consider purchasing a sun lamp. These lamps imitate the sun’s rays, & spending time basking in their glow can have similar benefits as spending time outdoors.
2. Exercise regularly
Me on a run
One of the causes of SAD is decreased levels of serotonin. Exercise naturally boosts our serotonin levels as well as the levels of our endorphins & other “happy” hormones. Aim to exercise for at least 30 minutes a day. Rhythmic, cardiovascular activities are linked to higher releases of serotonin & endorphins, so activities like running & walking, which can also be done outdoors in the sunlight, can have enormous benefits. However, any type of exercise, including dance, weight lifting, swimming, & more will boost your serotonin production.
Feelings of loneliness can contribute to depression & lowered self-esteem. On the contrary, studies show spending time with our loved ones can boost our self-esteem, self-worth & lower our stress levels. Make time in your schedule to spend with loved ones. Even if you can’t meet in person, a phone call with a friend can have enormous benefits for your mental health & the mental health of your loved one.
4. Eat for your mood
Citrus Shrimp – find the recipe on my Instagram page here
To help your mood, incorporate more omega-3 fatty acids in your diet. Studies show increasing your consumption of omega-3 fatty acids, which can be found in fish, nuts & seeds, & plant oils, can lessen the symptoms of various mood disorders, including depression.
Additionally, increasing your consumption of Vitamin B12 & Vitamin D can improve your mood as well. Vitamin B12 is not produced naturally in our bodies, so it must be consumed through diet. A deficiency of Vitamin B12 is associated with fatigue & mood disturbances. Most people do not need supplementation of Vitamin B12, but increasing this vitamin naturally in your diet can help improve your mood. Vitamin B12 is found in animal products, such as meats, cheeses & eggs. You can also find it in fortified foods such as cereals.
We get much of our natural Vitamin D consumption from the sun, so we are often deficient in this vitamin in the winter. Vitamin D supplements are available, & you can consume the vitamin naturally by eating tuna fish, salmon, egg yolks, & cereals, milks & orange juice fortified with Vitamin D.
Many people who struggle with SAD feel higher levels of stress. Limiting the stressors in your life can improve symptoms of SAD.
For stressors you cannot eliminate, developing coping mechanisms to deal with them can be helpful. Make time for activities you enjoy, & make sure you give yourself breaks when you are doing stressful activities. If needed, seek our professional counseling to help you learn emotional regulation skills & different coping mechanisms to deal with life stressors.
One symptom of SAD that leads to increased feelings of depression & fatigue is the disrupted sleep schedule. The decrease of serotonin, increase of melatonin, & disrupted circadian rhythm all lead to increased drowsiness & decreased energy.
Setting a regular sleep schedule can help with these symptoms. Set a time to wake up & fall asleep each day, & stick to it as closely as you can, no matter how your schedule varies. Before bed, make sure you have a “wind down” hour, when you put away the screens & engage in self-care to relax your mind.
If you still feel you are struggling because of the longer hours of darkness, consider investing in a Dawn Simulator. These are alarm clocks that simulate natural light to ease you into waking in the morning. I personally own one of these clocks because I wake up before the sun for much of the year & it has been a game-changer in my morning energy levels.
SAD has been associated with increased risk for drug & alcohol abuse. Depression can increase the temptation for using alcohol as a coping mechanism, but alcohol actually makes depression worse. The result is an increased dependency for this substance but no benefits for your mental health.
If you find yourself drinking more, consider reaching out to a professional counselor for assistance.
Journaling can help us process our feelings & emotions. Studies show journaling can lead to reduced feelings of stress & anxiety. Additionally, keeping a gratitude journal can increase our self-esteem & lower stress levels. Take time each evening to journal about your thoughts & feelings & write down a few things that you are grateful for. The more specific you are with what you write, the more effective this practice will be.
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is a mental health treatment that teaches techniques & tools to help you change your thinking & improve your mood. CBT can provide you with coping mechanisms that can be used, not just this season, but throughout your life. A study by the American Journal of Psychiatry found that when patients used light therapy or CBT alone, they had similar positive effects. However, one year later, the group that used CBT was experiencing fewer recurrences of SAD & less severe symptoms than the group that only used light therapy.
You can read books on CBT, but I highly recommend seeking a medical professional to help you learn the initial techniques & treatment.
When our mental health is struggling, it is easy to believe we are the only ones feeling this way. This can lead to increased feelings of isolation, & even worse, make you feel that you cannot share about your emotions & struggles.
If you are struggling with SAD, know first & foremost that you are not alone. As stated above, 10-20% of Americans struggle with SAD, & even more than that report milder symptoms of depression during this time of year. Additionally, depression itself is one of the most common mental health disorders, affecting an estimated 5% of the global population.
Talking to someone about the way you are feeling can help you cope with the stressors in your life, & discovering that someone else is also struggling may help you feel less alone & lead to increased feelings of self-worth. Seeking help from a medical professional can also be a great first step in managing your depressive symptoms. Your mental health is a priority, & it should be treated as such.
The winter may seem long, but there is always the bright ending of spring at the end. Take care of yourself this season, have grace for yourself during your mental health journey, & always remember that you are not alone.
