As I reflect back on the past year, I am reminded of all the good memories, the amazing new places I visited, & the new friends I made. But I am also reminded of the lessons I learned that have made me into who I am today. Some I had to relearn from years before, & some are new life lessons in my 24th year of life.
These 22 lessons are ones that have changed the way I view myself & the world around me, & my hope is to carry them into my next year of life.
Read on for the 22 lessons I learned this year, & leave a lesson you learned in the comments! Let’s all share some of our wisdom from the past year.
1. My emotional health is my responsibility. Boundaries are healthy, even with the people we love.
2. Adult friends are hard to make. It’s easier when you take the initiative to invite people out for a cup of coffee.
3. However, not everyone likes coffee (I know, shocking). It makes it less awkward if you have a second place in mind as a back-up.
4. It’s okay to treat yourself every once in a while. It’s okay to treat yourself every day. It’s okay to treat yourself whenever you feel like it. It’s okay to treat yourself…period.
5. Getting up early to exercise is self-care. Sleeping in a little more is also self-care. Figure out what it is your body needs.
6. My body this year has more curves & less muscle tone than it ever has. It is also my most loved body. It is still strong & nimble, but it has also been given space & time to rest. Your most loved body does not have to look like what other people consider healthy.
7. The people you have the hardest time understanding are the people you should take more time to understand.
8. Introversion & extroversion is a scale. We all need alone time, & we all need time spent with the people we love.
9. Lots of people are opinionated. The goal is not to find people without opinions – it is to find people who are willing to learn & not push their opinions on others. You should try to be this kind of person, too.
10. Compassion & empathy are different, & each one has its place.
11. You are who your younger self needed.
12. But also, it is okay if there are things about you your younger self would not be proud of. You are still growing, & also, your younger self did not know everything.
13. Three of the best things we can give ourselves: Movement, sunlight & water. These can also be called love, light & nourishment.
14. The word “no” does not always have to be followed by “I’m sorry.” Sometimes just “no” is sufficient.
15. You’re welcome is not the only way to respond to “thank you.””My pleasure,” “of course,” or (my favorite) “I love you” are much better choices.
16. It does not matter how slow you go. The miles pass anyway, & the finish line is still there when you reach the end.
17. You know the things you are willing to lose sleep over because they make you so happy & excited? Fill your life with more of those things.
18. Forgive yourself for any unhealthy habits you picked up when you were in survival mode. They helped you make it through to where you are now.
19. But also, just because those habits served you then does not mean they are serving you now. You do not have to keep doing them. Have grace for yourself in the process of letting them go.
20. It is okay if people do not understand why you love your passions. Do them anyway.
21. Dairy is not good for you. Also, I am going to eat dairy until the day I die.
22. It is okay if you look different now than you did going into the pandemic. Believe it or not, it has been a few years. And none of us were prepared for that.
My father always used to repeat the Tony Robbins quote, “Repetition is the mother of skill.” Every time I did something wrong: “Repetition is the mother of skill.” Every time I started working on something new: “Repetition is the mother of skill.” Every time I did something successfully, my father told me why: “Repetition is the mother of skill.”
Needless to say, I found this to be the most annoying phrase of words ever strung together.
My father knew I hated this phrase. With a smile, he’d often start it and then wait patiently, refusing to let me leave the room until I grudgingly completed it for him.
The most annoying thing about this phrase is that it was true. The more I practiced and repeated something, the better I got at it. Repetition truly was the best way to refine my skills. I could never bring myself to admit this to my father, but today the phrase still repeats in my head whenever I am struggling with something.
During my senior year of college, I found myself remembering the phrase as I practiced a speech for a class. It was a rather comprehensive speech, stuffed full of information in a measly three minutes. Normally, I performed my speeches without practicing. I found I was more eloquent if I knew the basic outline of my speech instead of trying to remember the exact words I wanted to say. However, I knew I wouldn’t be able to fit in all the information I wanted to say in the allotted time without rehearsing it. What amazed me was that, because of the repeated practices, it was the most articulate and powerful speech I had ever given. I received tumultuous praise from my classmates and professor, and was rewarded with a perfect score.
Later that day, when relaying the experience to my father, I mentioned how surprised I was by how much the practices helped. I cringed immediately, hoping with bated breath that he would merely give a small assent of agreeance.
“Well, you know,” he began, and I could hear the smile through which he spoke. I groaned internally, knowing the words that were about to come. “Repetition is the mother of skill.”
Happy Father’s Day to the man who always inspires me to work hard & pursue my dreams. I would not be where I am today without your loving support & words of wisdom, even the ones I found irksome. 😉
Yoga, for me, has always been a place of learning. On the mat, I learn more about myself than I discover in most other places in my life. I learn of my strength, my will, and my perseverance. I learn about my abilities, my draw to flexibility (both in my life & on the mat), & my limitations. Most importantly, I learn more about who I am, & I learn to love that person more.
Yoga was not always a part of my life. I was not a flexible child. I could not touch my toes if I wanted to. And for a long time, as ironic as it may seem given my current profession as a holistic health practitioner and personal trainer, exercise was not something I normally engaged in nor enjoyed.
However, when I was 13 years old, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia. This diagnosis came after months of widespread pain in my body to the point that it was difficult to get out of bed in the mornings. I was told then that yoga could help me, both in managing my physical pain & in managing my stress, which would, in turn, decrease the amount of pain I experienced.
At first, I was skeptical. Not only was I uninterested in yoga, but I had no confidence that I could do it. As many of my first-time students think, I thought I had to be flexible to do yoga. It never occurred to me that I had it the wrong way – I didn’t need to be flexible to do yoga; yoga would help me to become flexible.
Me doing yoga on the beach in South Carolina – Photo by Kristina Stout
And it helped me with that in more ways than one. When I finally rolled out the mat & slipped back into Downward Dog, I found that yoga was not just for the body; it is for the mind as well.
The yogic lifestyle began to drip into other parts of my life. As someone who was always easily stressed & angered, someone who lived by a rigid & unyielding schedule fueled by anxiety, yoga taught me patience & flexibility. When challenges came my way, I used the strength yoga had taught me as I held Plank Pose for minutes on end. When negative situations threatened my joy, I learned to flip them around & look at them differently, just as I viewed the world from Plow Pose with my feet sitting behind my head & my shoulders supporting my body instead. I learned to meditate on worries when needed, & to let meditation sweep the worries away when they no longer needed to concern my mind. And at the end of my practice, as I laid back during Savasana, I learned that it isn’t necessarily the work, but actually the rest & relaxation that can be the most important part of my life.
Yoga carried me through some of the most difficult moments in my life. It became a regular part of my daily routine. And I always felt better, mentally, physically & spiritually, when I stepped off my mat versus when I had stepped on.
As I got older, I discovered I wanted to share this joy with others, & so I was professionally trained in the art & began teaching my own classes. There is nothing more fulfilling to me than watching a student come into my class, their body held tight with stress, their mind clearly clouded with overwhelming thoughts, & then to watch them leave with a serene expression, their body loose & mind at ease. Through teaching yoga, I learned another important lesson – my life is meant for so much more than my own experiences. I was given a life to give to others.
Yoga is still teaching me every day. I have a stubborn mind, & I often have to be taught the same lessons again, but Yoga is patient with me, & it continues to teach me to have patience with myself. Yoga has helped me to love the body I have been given, to explore the depths of my mind & spirituality, to believe in my own abilities, & to have grace for myself when I fall. Even though I am a yoga teacher, I still often feel like I am the student in my practice, & this, too, has taught me an important lesson: humility, & in turn, compassion & empathy for others.
Yoga is a journey, filled with ups & downs, back-bending difficulties & relaxing tests of patience & flexibility. But, if you are willing to embark upon it, I promise you will discover so much more than you ever knew about the most important subject you have to learn about in this life: Your self.
Namaste.
P.S. I am currently competing to be the Yoga Warrior of 2021! Voting opens March 9. I would be so very appreciative if you would consider voting for me. You can place your vote here.
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Today is a day dedicated to showing love to one another. It’s supposed to be a day filled with generosity & endearment for others. And for some, it still is, but for others, this is the holiday they hate the most.
I remember being single & feeling lonely on Valentine’s Day. It’s never fun to celebrate any holiday alone, but a holiday framed around celebrating a significant other has to be the most challenging. As picturesque photos of loved ones cuddling together fill our social media feeds, it’s understandable why some people would feel even more isolated & dejected.
But here’s the interesting thing to me: Those photos clouding our social media don’t tell the full story. They are full of smiling, blissful couples who look like they have the perfect relationship. However, we all know that no one has the “perfect” relationship – they are always fraught with difficulties.
Does this mean couples shouldn’t post about their significant other & share their love? Absolutely not! There is nothing wrong with celebrating a joyous thing, & being in a relationship can be one of life’s joys. In fact, you can probably expect to see a photo from me today honoring the love of my life, & why wouldn’t I? I do adore him, & I want to celebrate that.
But, there is a problem when anyone looking at these photos thinks these pictures tell the whole story. The truth is, there are hardships & joys, lessons to be learned & things to be celebrated, both when someone is single & in a relationship. And Valentine’s Day should be a day to celebrate both of these stages of life with a giving & loving spirit.
That is why Joseph & I set out on a bitterly cold February morning to spread a little positivity for Valentine’s Day. Earlier in the week, I bought heart-shaped boxes of chocolates & Starbucks gift cards, & I spent an entire evening making little valentines to go with them. Our goal was to give with the generous spirit we believe Valentine’s Day should always embody, & to learn people’s answers to one question: “What is one thing you learned, either while being single or in a relationship?”
We met with people young & old from all different walks of life, & the answers we got were fantastic. Being single gives you more freedom to do the things you want to do. Loving yourself is the most important thing, both when you’re single & when you’re in a relationship. Compromise & communication are two of the most important skills you can have in a relationship. And my personal favorite: A relationship is not 50/50 as the old adage goes, but actually 100/100 – both people have to be giving their all for a relationship to work.
And I loved watching people’s faces light up when we handed them their chocolates & Starbucks gift card. We said goodbye to everyone with a cheery, “Happy Valentines Day!” and they always returned the same. We watched them walk away with smiles on their faces, chatting excitedly about their moment sharing their wisdom & lessons learned on camera, & their joy in receiving an unexpected gift. I felt in that moment, we were all celebrating Valentine’s Day in a much more authentic & genuine way. We all felt loved, seen, & appreciated.
This Valentine’s Day, I encourage you, whether you are single or in a relationship, to enjoy this holiday for what it is: A chance to show love, either to others or to yourself, in a genuine & heartfelt way. Treat someone else to a coffee, or buy one for yourself. Indulge in some chocolate treats, or give them to someone you love. And remember that, no matter what stage of life you are in, it is serving a purpose in your life, & there is something to be appreciated & learned from it.
Most importantly, as I wrote in each little valentine that we handed out, know that you are loved just as you are, and that is something worth remembering and celebrating, not just today, but every day of the year.
P.S. Check out Joseph’s video capturing our entire day & all the great lessons we learned!
