by Jolie Kolb
It’s 6:41pm on Wednesday the night before Thanksgiving, and I am in tears. My son is 15 and my step-son is almost 20 and home from college on break. The two of them just left with another friend to go pick up a friend from the airport. Then they are going to go to that kid’s house to spend the night and we will catch up again tomorrow for dinner at my mother’s. In this moment the silence in the house is so loud. Gone are the days of little boys running around my house watching holiday specials and making Christmas lists off the Black Friday commercials. Having children is one of the best and yet hardest things on the heart. I am so grateful they are so close and spending this time together, but I miss them and their craziness just the same. The holidays and the heartstrings do not always play nicely together.
My boyfriend will be over in a bit, and I am grateful for his presence. He is older than I am and has already gone through this kid transition, so he has empathy for my moments. I work off the Buddhist principle “Be Here Now” not “Be There Then,” so I take a breath and try to refocus. One of the quickest ways to adjust your energy is to move into an attitude of gratitude. In this moment everyone I know is in a good space. I am in a good space. For those things, I am grateful.
A big part of navigating the energy of the holidays and being in a space of joy comes back to embracing change. The only constant in life is that it is always changing. So much of navigating change comes from our perception and the story we tell ourselves about what is taking place. Change your words, change your story, change your energy. I think of my boys and the laughter and memories they are creating tonight with their friends, and that makes me smile. My boyfriend texts me that he is leaving his house and will be here soon, and that warms my heart. A girlfriend sends me a text with pictures of a guy she’s out on a second date with that’s going well, and it makes me happy to know she’s having a good time. The loudness of the silence of the house fades away into the hum of the heat kicking on, the rattle of the dryer running in the basement, and the gentle snoring of my three dogs. The phrase from the Christmas carol pops into my head, “Good tidings of comfort and joy.”
Joy is not always a big, in your face, overwhelming feeling of happiness. In this moment, joy is the soft, warm feeling that comes from the comfort of those little things like my snoring dogs, the sounds of my home, and the gratitude of knowing that in this moment, all is well in my world and with the people I love. If the journey to joy is done from the heart, then part of this is recognizing that it is not felt in just one way. It can be big and felt through your whole being, or that small, soft knowing that makes you smile. However it comes, embrace it, bask in it, truly and deeply feel it, knowing you are worthy of all the warmth, love, and peace it brings you.
Join us on Thursday, December 8 at 7:30pm for an online seminar about Finding Joy, not just during the holiday season, but every day of your life. Learn more & sign up here.