7 ways to practice gratitude this November

“Wear gratitude like a cloak & it will feed every corner of your life.”

-Rumi

Gratitude turns what we have into enough. When we focus on the positive & the blessings in our lives, we discover more wonderful things around every corner. It’s a mindset thing more than anything else. Our lives in & of themselves do not change, but our perspective does, & that makes all the difference. When we live with an attitude of gratitude & focus on the good things in our lives, the negative things that used to command our attention seem to melt away, or at least lessen in importance.

November is Gratitude Month, so I thought it the perfect time to help us all improve our gratitude practice. Read below for seven easy ways to bring more gratitude into your live, & make sure to read all the way to the bottom to learn how you can win your own personalized Sunshine Box!

1. Keep a gratitude journal

Photo by Gabrielle Henderson on Unsplash

One common way to practice gratitude is to keep a journal. Whether you use it first thing in the morning or as the last thing you do before bed, it gives you concentrated time to focus on the good in your life. Start by just sitting in a quiet space for a minute & writing down three things you are grateful for. Try to make it something different every day, & the more specific, the better. For instance, instead of just saying “friends,” why not write a sentence about a special friend you spoke with today or who has been on your mind. Instead of writing “food,” write about the meal you had today, how it tasted, & how it made you feel. The more you focus on all of the little things in life that bring you joy, the more they will become the big things.

2. Spend time with those you love

Me visiting with my extended family

The people we love bring us joy & remind us what is most important in life. To bring more gratitude into your daily life, make time to visit with those you love. Whether it’s a weekend visit or just a quick phone call, talking with those we love & feeling their presence can help us feel more grateful.

3. Make time to do activities that bring you joy

Me reading one of my favorite books, Change of Heart by Jodi Picoult

It’s not just people that bring us joy. Our passions, hobbies & self-care activities not only bring us happiness, but they can also recenter & energize us. After spending time with ourselves, we can return to work feeling happier & more productive, rather than drained & burnt out. Take some time to do the things that you enjoy, & you may find yourself finding more joy in the daily activities that used to bring you stress.

4. Acknowledge the negative

Me after suffering a recent running injury

Not all things in life have a positive spin. Some things that happen are hard. One thing we must do to live a life of gratitude is to acknowledge the negatives. To make everything seem positive invalidates our experiences. When something bad happens, acknowledge it, & give yourself time to emotionally deal with it. Journal, talk to someone, or just take some time to heal. It will make the good times sweeter when you acknowledge that not every moment in life feels good.

5. Meditate

Me meditating

Mindfulness can help us feel more grateful, too. Our perspectives are what matter most when trying to live a life of gratitude. Taking time to meditate can help. To start, take a few quiet moments to be with yourself. Focus on your breath & be grateful to your beating heart & working lungs. Or, if you find this challenging, try a meditation where you focus on your surroundings. Focus on your senses – what can you hear, taste, smell, touch & see. Feel gratitude for the little things that you normally overlook. If you are a busybody & find it difficult to sit still, try a walking meditation, taking notice to your surroundings & expressing gratitude for them.

6. Train yourself not to complain

On my 4K for Cancer run across the country, my teammates & I began using the phrase, “I get to.” It was a tiring journey, & we had begun complaining about the miles we had to run. My director, Mads, came up with the phrase, “I get to,” to turn our grumblings into appreciation & gratitude for our ability to do such an amazing run.

As noted above, perspective matters in living a life of gratitude. When we complain, it shifts our perspective from one of abundance to scarcity. We feel dissatisfied with our lives when we complain. Instead of complaining, try to talk about your blessings with others. Some people feel this comes across as bragging, but it can be done tactfully, & the people who love you should want to hear about the things that bring you joy! Give others the opportunity to share, too. Ask questions about what joys they have experienced recently. The more you share & ask for them to share, the more it will become a regular practice in your social circles. Not only will this impact you positively, but it will positively impact the lives of those around you.

7. Serve others

Me delivering Sunshine Boxes to the Ulman House

An important way to remember how blessed we are is to serve others who are less fortunate. Our schedules are busy, but even taking just a little time to serve others can help us to be grateful for our own lives. Remember, serving doesn’t have to be time-consuming or take a lot of energy. Simply paying for someone else’s meal, holding the door for someone, helping someone carry their groceries, or asking someone who is hurting how you can help can be great ways to serve.

The more you make these activities a practice in your daily life, the more you will find yourself focusing on the good around you. Life is what we make of it, & I personally want to live a beautiful life.

As promised, I have a little challenge for you all that could win you a FREE personalized Sunshine Box, filled with self-care items to help you incorporate more self-love in your life. Below is a month-long gratitude challenge to help you recenter yourself & focus on the positive. Post about the challenge once to your social media, whether it’s talking about your daily activity or the challenge in general, & you will receive a FREE sticker of the month subscription. For every additional post, your name will be entered into a drawing to win a Sunshine Box! The winner will be announced at the end of the month. To make sure I see your posts, remember to tag me @TylerVLayne with the hashtag #TVLGratitudeChallenge.

Good luck & Happy Gratitude Month!

Gratitude Challenge:

November 1 – Get your journal & get ready!

November 2 – Make a list of all the things you take for granted.

November 3 – Share three things that make you special.

November 4 – Think about a friend who has supported you. Write a note or send a text to express your gratitude for them.

November 5 – What’s one simple thing that made today a good day? Share a photo with us.

November 6 – Where did you see God (or whatever higher power you worship) in your life today? Share that with us.

November 7 – Share with us three people you are grateful for & why.

November 8 – Before you start eating lunch today, be thankful for the food on the table.

November 9 – What was your favorite smell, touch, sight, or sound from today? Share it with us.

November 10 – Make a list of all the people that help with your work or life.

November 11 – What are three simple things you are grateful for today? Share them with us.

November 12 – Express your gratitude to service workers you see today.

November 13 – What inspirational quote or words of wisdom are you most grateful for? Share them with us.

November 14 – Share a highlight from your day with us.

November 15 – What is a challenging experience that made you stronger? Write about it.

November 16 – Make a list of the top 20 things you are grateful for in your life right now.

November 17 – What is something you are grateful for today that you didn’t have a year ago? Share that with us.

November 18 – Make a list of the things you own that money can’t buy.

November 19 – What are three ways you can bring gratitude into a current challenge? Write about it.

November 20 – When you go grocery shopping, take a moment to be grateful you have the resources to buy your food. If you can, pay for someone else’s groceries as well.

November 21 – What about this planet are you grateful for? Pick a beautiful spot in nature to spend some time in today.

November 22 – What made you smile today? Share it with us.

November 23 – Write about a fear you have overcome.

November 24 – When you get coffee or breakfast, pay for the next person in line.

November 25 – Happy Thanksgiving! Enjoy the holiday.

November 26 – Think of something you have learned that was very helpful. If you want, share it with us so we can learn it, too!

November 27 – Share with us your three favorite activities & why you love them.

November 28 – Volunteer for a nonprofit you care about.

November 29 – Write about what you are most grateful for about your mom, or the person you consider to be a mom to you.

November 30 – Reflect on the past month. How has practicing gratitude in your daily changed your perspective?

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5 positive affirmations for fall growth & gratitude

Photo by Daniel Tomlinson on Unsplash

After a season of fun & relaxation, fall is the perfect time of year to focus on new change & gratitude.

As the leaves change around us & the world becomes cold, it’s a time for us to look inward & ponder the changes happening in our own lives. Whether these changes are welcome or uncomfortable, all change has the potential to move us in a positive direction. In seasons of great change, we can choose whether or not it is a welcome & comfortable transition, or a difficult adjustment.

One way to make change more comfortable is to focus on the things in our lives that we are grateful for, because of or despite whatever is changing. Focusing on gratitude helps us to reframe our mindset to one of abundance & tranquility.

If you are hoping to focus on some positive change & growth this fall, or if you just need some helpful reminders to focus on what you’re thankful for, check out the five positive affirmations below. Print them out, write them on your mirror, repeat them in the morning or before you go to bed – make them a regular part of your daily routine. It’s amazing how the words we speak to ourselves truly can influence our mindset & mental health.

Each image is also formatted to be the perfect phone background or Instagram story, so save them to your phone for a daily reminder, or share them in your story to spread the positivity.

Happy fall!

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Honeymoon West Coast trip: Monterey & San Francisco (Day 6)

Me with the jellyfish at the Monterey Bay Aquarium

Do you ever have a day that starts out so good it’s almost too good to be true, & then something happens to make you realize it is, in fact, too good to be true? Today was like that. 

Joseph & I decided to sleep in a little to take advantage of our one morning that we didn’t have anywhere to be early in the day. It was a misty, cloudy morning in Monterey, which meant there was no point in getting to the 17-mile-drive early to see the sunrise. Instead, we left our Airbnb around 8:30 & drove 20 minutes to the start of the drive. 

The 17-mile-drive is a scenic drive that features forest views & the coastline in Pebble Beach, California. It was created in 1881 & was first traversed in horse & buggy.

I am always struck when I go to national parks & other places how interesting it is that someone found this land, claimed it, & said they wanted to share it with everyone, but then charged them to get in. But, nevertheless, I always hand over the money. I just cannot resist the chance to see any part of this beautiful world.

Joseph taking videos on the 17-mile-drive – vlog to come soon!!

The trail wound through neighborhoods & trees before finally following along the restless coastline. The ocean was feisty the morning of our drive, splashing up against the rocks with such force that the resulting wind smacked our faces & blew back our hair & clothes as soon as we stepped out of the truck. A dense smoke hung low in the air, most likely from the wildfires raging not too far away, & all you could hear for miles was the sound of crashing waves. 

Our next stop was the Monterey Bay Aquarium, one of the spots I was most looking forward to. I am happy to report it did not disappoint. The aquarium, which was located right on the edge of the bay, was filled with exhibits that stretched from the floor to the ceiling, brimming with colorful sea creatures & tall stalks of seaweed that swayed in invisible currents. The aquarium had done an excellent job of recreating the sea creatures’ natural environment. The exhibit rooms were dark, leaving an eery blue light from the water that drifted into the space. Standing in front of the enormous tanks, realizing how large the animals in the depths of the ocean actually are, was a truly humbling experience. We are so small in this world, & there is so much more to this life & creation than we are even aware. 

Joseph at the Monterey Bay Aquarium

As much as we enjoyed watching the fish swim around, Joseph & I also appreciated how friendly the staff was. As soon as we walked in, the woman who greeted us noticed our face masks (white & black that say bride & groom, respectively) & asked if we were on our honeymoon. When we confirmed that we are, she immediately announced that we needed celebration buttons & asked us which sea creature from a selection that we liked best. We chose the octopus & sea turtle, on which she wrote “Just Married” on the corresponding pins & drew little party hats on the animals. It was such a simple gesture, but being given those pins to wear as we walked around the aquarium made us feel like appreciated guests & customers. And she was not the only staff member who made our experience better. From the friendly man at the front door who gave us our instructions for the day, to the conversational cashier who asked us about our honeymoon & talked to us about her dream to visit the East Coast, to the worker who was hurrying in his work day but still stopped to congratulate us. As amazing as the aquarium was, the staff truly made it an unforgettable experience that I would recommend to anyone.

I could have happily spent the day watching the otters play & jellyfish drift, we had to leave to drive to San Francisco for our evening’s activities. We ate lunch at the truck & then drove to our Airbnb, where we dropped off our belongings before heading into the city.

With all of the wedding & honeymoon excitement, we had forgotten is was Labor Day weekend. San Francisco is normally packed with people already, but thanks to a Giants baseball game & the holiday weekend, it was easily double the normal amount of crowds. This meant parking was even more difficult than it usually is, & we easily spent 30 minutes just looking for a space. We finally found an open spot where someone had left a full drink cup sitting – I suppose no one wanted to touch it or knock it over. When we checked the price, we were dismayed to see that the hourly rate was no longer available. Instead, for special holiday parking, there was a flat rate of $50 no matter how long your stay was. Unwilling to look for parking again & running out of time, we forked over the money & rushed into the busy San Francisco streets. 

We had reservations to tour Alcatraz, but before the sky grew too dark, I wanted to see the sea lions. At Pier 39, sea lions famously gather on the pier, much to the delight of onlookers at the nearby restaurant. We ran to the pier & spent a few minutes watching & laughing as the sea lions barked at one another & flopped around the deck before resting their heads on one to rest. Then, we ran back up the street to the boat ramp for Alcatraz. 

Alcatraz Island (Photo by Shelby Cohron on Unsplash)

The wait was a little long, but we passed the time chatting & people watching. When the time for boarding came, we excitedly found seats on the top of the ferry so we could watch the island grow closer. 

Alcatraz, I learned, was not just the prison for infamous criminals, but also for pacifists who tried to avoid the draft Civil War. Because they were supposed to be in the military, they were tried & punished as military members in defiance of the United States government, which means the punishments were stricter & resulted in stints spent in Alcatraz. And after the prison closed, Native Americans attempted to claim the land because they were allowed to reside on any surplus land. To avoid this, the United States turned it into a national park, which it still remains to this day. 

The Native American & imprisoned pacifists situation wasn’t the only one that struck an uncomfortable cord. Alcatraz was operating until the 1960s, when many social movements gained traction, one of them being the movement to reform inmates rather than give lifetime punishments for all crimes. This means that, until that time, many things happened in Alcatraz that social justice leaders today would be infuriated by. 

It was a little creepy walking around the old cells where inmates spent years of their lives, shut off from the world & spending most of their time alone in spaces small enough to be a closet today. The chill from the outdoors seeped in through the walls, making me wonder just how cold it got for inmates on the island. 

Because of COVID-19, the audio tour was given entirely on individual devices that we carried with us for the tour. The devices gave us directions on where to stand & turn, & the story was told by voice actors, creating an immersive experience. 

At the end of the tour, Joseph & I returned our audio devices & looked at the clock. To our delight, we had finished the tour in just one hour & could catch the earlier ferry. By now, we had not eaten in eight hours & we were growing hungrier by the minute. 

A cell in Alcatraz

We raced down the 13 stories from the top of Alcatraz to the bottom of the hill it was situated on. By now, the line for the ferry had already grown long, & we stood nervously hoping there would be room for us on board. San Francisco is almost always misty & chilly, but on Alcatraz Island, it was even colder, windier & wetter. 

The line began to move as boarding began, & we waited with bated breath as we inched closer to the boat. 100 people away…80 people away…50 people away…the line began slowing down…35 people away…people began holding up their fingers in the air to signal how many people were in their party, & the crewman slowly selected the lucky ones who got to board…25 people away…people were becoming more earnest now, pushing their way forward…20 people away…the crewman apologized & closed the gate. We were stuck on the island for another hour, waiting in line. 

Our stomachs fell with disappointment as the boat sailed away. Hungry, tired & now cold, we sat on the concrete, stuck where we were until the boat returned for us. As the minutes ticked by, our moods soured. We were not dressed appropriately for a night on Alcatraz, & as we sat, shivering, my fingers slowing grew numb. We watched TikTok videos to pass the time, our empty stomachs setting our teeth on edge as we waited. 

When the boat returned, we stood quickly, the crowd pressing in on all sides. Everyone wanted to get on the ferry as quickly as possible. To our dismay, we spent another 20 minutes in the cold, teeth chattering & body’s shaking, as the crewmen completed their necessary chores on the boat & gathered everyone from the island – this was the last ferry of the evening. 

When we were finally allowed back on the boat, all the charm of the day had left our minds. All we could think about was how hungry, tired & cold we were. We called the restaurant we planned on eating at, & to our dismay discovered we needed vaccination cards to dine inside, not just there, but at every restaurant in San Francisco. I had my card with me, but Joseph, unfortunately, had left his card in his backpack, which was currently in our bedroom at the Airbnb. 

View of Golden Gate Bridge from Alcatraz (Photo by Eric Ward on Unsplash)

When we got to the island, we rushed back to our car. The last bit of my positive attitude left as, in my hurry to get in the truck, I knocked over the sticky, sweet-smelling drink that had been left sitting in our parking space & spilled it over my new boots. 

With short & tense language, we tried to find a new restaurant, but anyone who would take us was already closed because of the late hour. We finally resolved to order takeout from the restaurant we had originally planned on & take it back to our Airbnb, but when we called, we discovered takeout could only be ordered by visiting the restaurant in-person & sitting at the bar. Left without any options, Joseph drove me as close to the restaurant as he could, & then returned to our original parking space to await my phone call. 

I sat at the bar quickly & told the bartender I was ready to order, but he insisted I wait & look at the menu. So I sat, annoyingly drumming my fingers until he returned, & I gave him the order I had memorized in the truck. 

The restaurant was busy, so I was surprised & grateful when our food arrived just 15 minutes later. I called Joseph & rushed back outside. He picked me up from the curb, & while driving, I fed us both bread to slowly fill our stomachs & hopefully boost our morale. 

We arrived back at our Airbnb & quickly changed into warm clothes. Joseph grabbed us some wine from our bags, & I set up a spot to eat in our room. We sat together, hoping to salvage the evening, but conversation failed us, other than the occasional dumfounded question: “What just happened?” 

The food was rich & hit our empty stomachs wrong. Neither of us finished. We laid back in bed, knees pulled up to our stomachs in pain, feeling dejected & exhausted from the long day.

Here’s the funny thing about this whole story: Up until the last few hours, our day had been bliss. We started it with lovely views of the coast, & then had some of the best hours on our honeymoon yet wandering around the Monterey Bay Aquarium. Our Airbnb host was lovely. We got to pet her dogs, & she promised us a complimentary breakfast with homemade muffins for the following morning. We had the chance to see the cute sea lions in San Francisco. We did the Alcatraz tour, which wasn’t our favorite experience, but we would have regretted not going, wondering if we missed something. And here we were, in a cozy room with food from the restaurant we wanted to visit. We had let this one experience completely cloud our vision from everything else that we enjoyed today. 

It’s difficult to center yourself when something goes wrong & remember how much good there is in the world. Today, I was reminded of the importance to not let one unfortunate event ruin an entire day, & certainly not to let one bad day, month, year, or however long it is (I’m thinking about you, COVID-19) convince me that it’s a bad life. There is so much in this world & in every day to be grateful for, even on the days I have to look a little harder to find it. 

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3 simple ways to love yourself better every day

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I know self-care is one of the most important things I can do to make sure I am functioning at my best, but somehow, I just never seem to have time to fit it in.

Every day, my schedule fills up with work, errands, and other chores. By the time I get home, I am ready to just crawl into bed. And some days, I don’t even give myself the luxury of a good night’s rest – often, I am up late, working on a blog post, finishing an assignment for work, or taking a look at my weekly budget.

As important as self-care is, it always seems to be something I struggle with. The idea of taking a relaxing bubble bath or just sitting for an hour to read a book seems to be too difficult to fit into my day. 

I know I am not alone in this. So many of us are rushing from one task to the next – it’s hard to take a step back and notice how we feel. It’s even harder to actually listen to and give our bodies what they need in that moment.

So, to give us all some much-needed help, I have listed below three simple things you can do every day to love yourself better. It takes some practice, but incorporating these three actions into your day every day can help you to be better in tune with what your body needs, and to actually meet those needs during your day. They aren’t time-consuming tasks, but they make a big difference in your quality of life. And when you are feeling good, you are better able to help the other people in your life feel good, too.

1. Do a mental check-in when you wake up

Resist checking your phone first thing in the morning and take the first 30 seconds of your day to do a check-in with your body. How are you feeling, physically, mentally and spiritually? 

Ask yourself: How does your body feel? Are you well rested? What emotions are you feeling? Do you feel grounded, or do you feel disconnected from the world around you? 

Based on these and other questions you may ask yourself, take note of how you are feeling, and then move on to the next task.

2. Schedule in 30 minutes to take care of yourself, mentally, physically or spiritually

Based on the results of your mental check-in, schedule in some time to take care of any needs you may have. If you are feeling tired, consider scheduling in a 30-minute nap. If your body feels stiff, maybe schedule in a 30-minute yoga session. If you are feeling sad, take some time to do something you enjoy, such as reading, dancing, or singing at the top of your lungs. If you feel like you need to ground yourself, spend some time reading scripture or repeating self-affirmations to yourself. Do whatever works for you. 

Thirty minutes is not a lot of time, but it really makes a difference. Taking just this small amount of time for yourself makes sure that your most present need for the day is met. 

Schedule in this time on your calendar. If it helps, make it the same time block every day, but change the activity daily based on what you need. You can do your self-care activity first thing in the morning, during your lunch hour at work, or right before you go to sleep at night. Once the task is on your to-do list, it is more likely to get done.

3. Write down 3 things you are grateful for before you go to sleep

End your day with a moment of gratitude. Write down three things you are grateful for that happened that day. This is a great practice to help you remember all of the blessings in your life, rather than focusing on the negatives. Writing down what you are grateful for will not only help you to have a more positive mindset (and positive energy helps attract a more positive life). It also helps to make sure you go to bed thinking about positive things instead of letting your mind wander to everything that is currently stressful in your life. A good night’s rest is a key part of self-care, and it’s easier to achieve that if your head is thinking happy thoughts when it hits the pillow.

Self-care is a very personal journey, and it looks different for everyone. The three practices listed above are simply meant to guide you in your own journey. Always remember to be gentle with yourself – if there are days these tasks don’t happen, simply cross them off your to-do list and promise to take better care of yourself tomorrow. Always give yourself the same love and grace you would extend to others.

What are your favorite ways to show yourself love? Leave a comment below to help spread the inspiration and positivity. 

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