The air is crisp & clean. It’s icy fingers stretch down into my lungs, freezing my chest but for some reason making me want to breathe in deeper. The sky is gray. Dense clouds hang low above our heads. The smell of pine lingers, foreshadowing the coming colder season. In the distance, I can hear small animals chattering to one another & scuttering along the forest floor.
I outstretch one hand & run it against the rough bark of the tall, majestic giant standing before me. The tree seems to almost radiate a reddish glow, filling my chilly form with a wondrous warmth. I look up. From where I stand, I can just barely see where the top branches reach the sky above.
I wrap my arms around the trunk. They do not even travel halfway around its base. I press my ear against the bark & pull my chest in closer, listening for the hum inside, matching the beat of my heart to the beat of the life inside this ancient resident of earth. It has been standing here since long before I was even imagined, & it will remain here long after I leave this world, every year growing a little taller, a little wider, a little stronger, a little more majestic.
When I was a little girl, I was infatuated with trees. I imagined that I could talk to them, & I would spend hours playing outside with my imaginary friends in the forest. And the trees I dreamed most of meeting were the stately redwood trees in California.
I have finally arrived, nearly 20 years later, & while I am older & wiser now, I do still wonder what these trees would tell me if they could talk. What would they say, after seeing the earth change over the last few thousand years, to someone like me, who can’t even comprehend how long that actually is?
Perhaps they would tell me that life is so much simpler than I make it to be. That in that forest, as much as the world seems to be different, a lot has also remained the same. We all grow, we breathe, we love, & we die. Everything else is not required. When compared to all that has happened on planet earth, the things I worry about in my daily life would not even equate to the width of one ring in their trunk. It does not mean those things are meaningless, but perhaps they are also not worth the worry lines in my own face. Life is beautiful & meant to be savored.
So, when the busyness seems to consume you, & the worries of life are all you can think about, come back to this place. Center yourself. Feel the sun on your skin, the beat of your heart, the air moving in & out of your lungs. Ponder your humanity, & how fleeting it is, & remember that is one of the things that makes it beautiful. Stand tall & grow with confidence. And finally, know that your life is deeply rooted to many others who were here long before you, & who will be here long after you are gone, & that alone gives your fleeting existence on this earth meaning & purpose.
Joseph & I spent the day today exploring Redwood National & State Parks – we did a 13-mile-hike, & then drove, exhausted, to our Airbnb in Medford, Oregon, where we crashed for the night. In lieu of trying to capture every little detail of our day, in which it seemed nothing much happened, I though it better to capture what I felt during our hike, gazing at those majestic trees & feeling the sense of wonder I always had as a little girl when I saw pictures of them.
There is a famous saying that claims once you leave home, you can never go back. It wasn’t until I was an adult who returned to living at home during the pandemic that I understood this phrase. You can always go back, but it’s not the same as it was. You can’t go back to being a kid. The memories you have growing up in your childhood home are completely different from the new ones you make when you return.
I think this is true of all memories, not just the ones compartmentalized to your childhood home. Any significant period of your life has a certain magic to the memories. But, returning to that place does not make the magic come back. Just a quick visit to your old high school is a great example of this. You can walk the halls, talk to old teachers, sit on the bleachers where you cheered during football games & maybe snuck your first kiss, but it doesn’t feel the same as it did in those four short years of your life when you felt invincible.
I remember how that first run felt. I remember the exhilaration & the excitement I experienced, unsure yet what the summer would bring but knowing the journey ahead would be momentous & memorable.
Today’s run was not momentous. We stood in that chilly, misty San Francisco air just as I had done before, clicked our watches to start tracking our run, & started the trek up the steep hill to the bridge. It took my breath away, just as it had before, & my legs sighed in relief when we reached the flatter grade of the bridge. The mist was so thick, the long suspension ropes leading to the tall, red towers disappeared entirely into a thick cloud above our heads.
The run across the bridge was fast, & before I knew it, we were back at our car, starting the long drive north to the Redwoods National & State Parks. As we drove over the bridge we had just run across, a bittersweet feeling seeped into my stomach. I had wanted to relive the memory, but this was simply just revisiting. My team members were not here with me, & we were not about to travel across the entire country, our legs carrying us & hearts keeping us going in the fight against cancer.
Me after running across the Golden Gate Bridge today
The drive to the redwoods was uneventful but exciting. I have wanted to see the redwood trees since I was a little girl & read about them in a book. When I had participated in the 4K for Cancer run, I had been disappointed that I came all the way to California & missed seeing the majestic trees.
Our Airbnb was a camper within Redwood National & State Parks. We got settled into what was by far the most unique Airbnb we had stayed in yet, & then drove off into the setting sun to just catch a glimpse of the views we planned on hiking to tomorrow.
To say that redwood trees are big is an understatement. They are enormous. Our entire wingspan combined didn’t even stretch around half of the base of one of the trees. The trees reached high into the sky as well, basking in the sun’s light. Inside, all I felt was the giddy joy of my 5-year-old self, finally standing at the foot of the redwood trees I had read about.
Memories cannot be relived, but that’s what makes them so special. You only get to have one first kiss or one first dance. You only have your first day at school, your first time you win an award, your first time running across the Golden Gate Bridge, & your first time seeing a redwood tree. But what makes those moments memorable is the fact that they only happened once, or because they it was the start of something special that happened again & again. It was the start of a your first cross country adventure. It was the start of your career. It was the start of your love story.
Running across the bridge & experiencing Joseph’s first time traversing it had been fantastic & memorable in its own way. It was not the same as running it with my team, but it wasn’t supposed to be. That moment is sacred & special in its own way, & it should stay that way.
One of the best things about memories is that we are always forming new ones. Dreams are fulfilled, goals are accomplished, & sweet surprises fill our lives every day. Today, wrapping my arms around the redwood tree, feeling the rough bark beneath my fingertips & ear pressed against the trunk, listening for the hum of life inside, was a dream come true & a memory I have been waiting to create for years.
Remembering may be bittersweet, but the new memories I am creating in this moment – life has never tasted sweeter.
Do you ever have a day that starts out so good it’s almost too good to be true, & then something happens to make you realize it is, in fact, too good to be true? Today was like that.
Joseph & I decided to sleep in a little to take advantage of our one morning that we didn’t have anywhere to be early in the day. It was a misty, cloudy morning in Monterey, which meant there was no point in getting to the 17-mile-drive early to see the sunrise. Instead, we left our Airbnb around 8:30 & drove 20 minutes to the start of the drive.
The 17-mile-drive is a scenic drive that features forest views & the coastline in Pebble Beach, California. It was created in 1881 & was first traversed in horse & buggy.
I am always struck when I go to national parks & other places how interesting it is that someone found this land, claimed it, & said they wanted to share it with everyone, but then charged them to get in. But, nevertheless, I always hand over the money. I just cannot resist the chance to see any part of this beautiful world.
Joseph taking videos on the 17-mile-drive – vlog to come soon!!
The trail wound through neighborhoods & trees before finally following along the restless coastline. The ocean was feisty the morning of our drive, splashing up against the rocks with such force that the resulting wind smacked our faces & blew back our hair & clothes as soon as we stepped out of the truck. A dense smoke hung low in the air, most likely from the wildfires raging not too far away, & all you could hear for miles was the sound of crashing waves.
Our next stop was the Monterey Bay Aquarium, one of the spots I was most looking forward to. I am happy to report it did not disappoint. The aquarium, which was located right on the edge of the bay, was filled with exhibits that stretched from the floor to the ceiling, brimming with colorful sea creatures & tall stalks of seaweed that swayed in invisible currents. The aquarium had done an excellent job of recreating the sea creatures’ natural environment. The exhibit rooms were dark, leaving an eery blue light from the water that drifted into the space. Standing in front of the enormous tanks, realizing how large the animals in the depths of the ocean actually are, was a truly humbling experience. We are so small in this world, & there is so much more to this life & creation than we are even aware.
As much as we enjoyed watching the fish swim around, Joseph & I also appreciated how friendly the staff was. As soon as we walked in, the woman who greeted us noticed our face masks (white & black that say bride & groom, respectively) & asked if we were on our honeymoon. When we confirmed that we are, she immediately announced that we needed celebration buttons & asked us which sea creature from a selection that we liked best. We chose the octopus & sea turtle, on which she wrote “Just Married” on the corresponding pins & drew little party hats on the animals. It was such a simple gesture, but being given those pins to wear as we walked around the aquarium made us feel like appreciated guests & customers. And she was not the only staff member who made our experience better. From the friendly man at the front door who gave us our instructions for the day, to the conversational cashier who asked us about our honeymoon & talked to us about her dream to visit the East Coast, to the worker who was hurrying in his work day but still stopped to congratulate us. As amazing as the aquarium was, the staff truly made it an unforgettable experience that I would recommend to anyone.
I could have happily spent the day watching the otters play & jellyfish drift, we had to leave to drive to San Francisco for our evening’s activities. We ate lunch at the truck & then drove to our Airbnb, where we dropped off our belongings before heading into the city.
With all of the wedding & honeymoon excitement, we had forgotten is was Labor Day weekend. San Francisco is normally packed with people already, but thanks to a Giants baseball game & the holiday weekend, it was easily double the normal amount of crowds. This meant parking was even more difficult than it usually is, & we easily spent 30 minutes just looking for a space. We finally found an open spot where someone had left a full drink cup sitting – I suppose no one wanted to touch it or knock it over. When we checked the price, we were dismayed to see that the hourly rate was no longer available. Instead, for special holiday parking, there was a flat rate of $50 no matter how long your stay was. Unwilling to look for parking again & running out of time, we forked over the money & rushed into the busy San Francisco streets.
We had reservations to tour Alcatraz, but before the sky grew too dark, I wanted to see the sea lions. At Pier 39, sea lions famously gather on the pier, much to the delight of onlookers at the nearby restaurant. We ran to the pier & spent a few minutes watching & laughing as the sea lions barked at one another & flopped around the deck before resting their heads on one to rest. Then, we ran back up the street to the boat ramp for Alcatraz.
The wait was a little long, but we passed the time chatting & people watching. When the time for boarding came, we excitedly found seats on the top of the ferry so we could watch the island grow closer.
Alcatraz, I learned, was not just the prison for infamous criminals, but also for pacifists who tried to avoid the draft Civil War. Because they were supposed to be in the military, they were tried & punished as military members in defiance of the United States government, which means the punishments were stricter & resulted in stints spent in Alcatraz. And after the prison closed, Native Americans attempted to claim the land because they were allowed to reside on any surplus land. To avoid this, the United States turned it into a national park, which it still remains to this day.
The Native American & imprisoned pacifists situation wasn’t the only one that struck an uncomfortable cord. Alcatraz was operating until the 1960s, when many social movements gained traction, one of them being the movement to reform inmates rather than give lifetime punishments for all crimes. This means that, until that time, many things happened in Alcatraz that social justice leaders today would be infuriated by.
It was a little creepy walking around the old cells where inmates spent years of their lives, shut off from the world & spending most of their time alone in spaces small enough to be a closet today. The chill from the outdoors seeped in through the walls, making me wonder just how cold it got for inmates on the island.
Because of COVID-19, the audio tour was given entirely on individual devices that we carried with us for the tour. The devices gave us directions on where to stand & turn, & the story was told by voice actors, creating an immersive experience.
At the end of the tour, Joseph & I returned our audio devices & looked at the clock. To our delight, we had finished the tour in just one hour & could catch the earlier ferry. By now, we had not eaten in eight hours & we were growing hungrier by the minute.
We raced down the 13 stories from the top of Alcatraz to the bottom of the hill it was situated on. By now, the line for the ferry had already grown long, & we stood nervously hoping there would be room for us on board. San Francisco is almost always misty & chilly, but on Alcatraz Island, it was even colder, windier & wetter.
The line began to move as boarding began, & we waited with bated breath as we inched closer to the boat. 100 people away…80 people away…50 people away…the line began slowing down…35 people away…people began holding up their fingers in the air to signal how many people were in their party, & the crewman slowly selected the lucky ones who got to board…25 people away…people were becoming more earnest now, pushing their way forward…20 people away…the crewman apologized & closed the gate. We were stuck on the island for another hour, waiting in line.
Our stomachs fell with disappointment as the boat sailed away. Hungry, tired & now cold, we sat on the concrete, stuck where we were until the boat returned for us. As the minutes ticked by, our moods soured. We were not dressed appropriately for a night on Alcatraz, & as we sat, shivering, my fingers slowing grew numb. We watched TikTok videos to pass the time, our empty stomachs setting our teeth on edge as we waited.
When the boat returned, we stood quickly, the crowd pressing in on all sides. Everyone wanted to get on the ferry as quickly as possible. To our dismay, we spent another 20 minutes in the cold, teeth chattering & body’s shaking, as the crewmen completed their necessary chores on the boat & gathered everyone from the island – this was the last ferry of the evening.
When we were finally allowed back on the boat, all the charm of the day had left our minds. All we could think about was how hungry, tired & cold we were. We called the restaurant we planned on eating at, & to our dismay discovered we needed vaccination cards to dine inside, not just there, but at every restaurant in San Francisco. I had my card with me, but Joseph, unfortunately, had left his card in his backpack, which was currently in our bedroom at the Airbnb.
When we got to the island, we rushed back to our car. The last bit of my positive attitude left as, in my hurry to get in the truck, I knocked over the sticky, sweet-smelling drink that had been left sitting in our parking space & spilled it over my new boots.
With short & tense language, we tried to find a new restaurant, but anyone who would take us was already closed because of the late hour. We finally resolved to order takeout from the restaurant we had originally planned on & take it back to our Airbnb, but when we called, we discovered takeout could only be ordered by visiting the restaurant in-person & sitting at the bar. Left without any options, Joseph drove me as close to the restaurant as he could, & then returned to our original parking space to await my phone call.
I sat at the bar quickly & told the bartender I was ready to order, but he insisted I wait & look at the menu. So I sat, annoyingly drumming my fingers until he returned, & I gave him the order I had memorized in the truck.
The restaurant was busy, so I was surprised & grateful when our food arrived just 15 minutes later. I called Joseph & rushed back outside. He picked me up from the curb, & while driving, I fed us both bread to slowly fill our stomachs & hopefully boost our morale.
We arrived back at our Airbnb & quickly changed into warm clothes. Joseph grabbed us some wine from our bags, & I set up a spot to eat in our room. We sat together, hoping to salvage the evening, but conversation failed us, other than the occasional dumfounded question: “What just happened?”
The food was rich & hit our empty stomachs wrong. Neither of us finished. We laid back in bed, knees pulled up to our stomachs in pain, feeling dejected & exhausted from the long day.
Here’s the funny thing about this whole story: Up until the last few hours, our day had been bliss. We started it with lovely views of the coast, & then had some of the best hours on our honeymoon yet wandering around the Monterey Bay Aquarium. Our Airbnb host was lovely. We got to pet her dogs, & she promised us a complimentary breakfast with homemade muffins for the following morning. We had the chance to see the cute sea lions in San Francisco. We did the Alcatraz tour, which wasn’t our favorite experience, but we would have regretted not going, wondering if we missed something. And here we were, in a cozy room with food from the restaurant we wanted to visit. We had let this one experience completely cloud our vision from everything else that we enjoyed today.
It’s difficult to center yourself when something goes wrong & remember how much good there is in the world. Today, I was reminded of the importance to not let one unfortunate event ruin an entire day, & certainly not to let one bad day, month, year, or however long it is (I’m thinking about you, COVID-19) convince me that it’s a bad life. There is so much in this world & in every day to be grateful for, even on the days I have to look a little harder to find it.
No matter how well you plan for a trip, the one thing you can always count on is that something will not go according to plan.
Joseph & I had planned on taking a ferry ride to Channel Islands National Park today at 8a.m. It was going to be a short trip – the only two options for a ferry ride back to the shore were 10a.m. & 4p.m., & we couldn’t afford a full day spent on the island. The plan was to run around the loop trail as fast as we could, take in the views, & get back to the ferry in time to return to shore. However, as risky this plan was from the beginning, it became utterly hopeless when we received a phone call from Island Packers Cruises yesterday asking if we wanted to change our reservation to a 4:00p.m. return time because all we had essentially booked was a boat ride. By the time the ferry actually docked on the shore, we would only have a maximum of thirty minutes on the island, if we were lucky, before we had to board once again.
Joseph & I both agreed that we would rather take in the sights another way. So, late last night, Joseph looked up the best hikes in Santa Barbara & chose one that immediately masked our disappointment of not going to an island – we would be going to a hot springs instead.
Joseph hiking to the hot springs
We woke up early in the morning & drove just 10 minutes away to the trailhead. Instead of going straight to the springs, we decided to take a long, loop hike up a mountain that would take us back to the hot springs on our way down.
The hike was exhausting, but the views were more than worth it. The mountains in the distance were painted against the sky in all different shades of blue, creating an artistic ombre effect. From our lofty perch, we could see the entirety of the town below us, as well as the undulating waves of the Pacific Ocean.
The first thing I noticed as we skidded back down the side of the mountain was that the air around us had grown warm. A moment later, I heard the gentle tinkling of falling water droplets. Less than a minute later, we broke through the trees to reveal misty pools of water stair stepped down the side of the mountain, steam rising off of the surface.
We pulled off our hiking shirts & shorts, revealing the bathing suits we had worn underneath, & slipped into the serene water. The water was so hot that, at first, it stung our skin. I am quite sure it was hotter than any hot tub I have ever soaked in. But our bodies soon acclimated, & we were able to lean against the slimy rocks & relax. There was an odd smell of rotting eggs in the air, which I realized after a moment was from the sulfur compounds that not only give hot springs their many health benefits, but also their characteristic eggy smell.
When our bodies felt warm & loose & we were adequately rested, we pulled ourselves out of the water & trekked down the final 1 1/2 miles down the mountain. We were both hungry at this point from our morning’s adventures, so we hopped into the truck & drove 45 minutes to Solvang.
Walking around Solvang was like stepping into a fairytale. Danish-style homes & windmills lined the streets, & inside each of these structures were local businesses selling items like wooden shoes, sweet candy, & first edition books by Hans Christian Andersen, the pages still intact but yellowed & the covers beginning to peel from the years of storytelling.
Our first stop was Succulent Cafe for lunch. Joseph finally ordered the burger he had been craving this entire trip, & I ordered the roasted eggplant, which came with fresh bread from a local bakery. The eggplant was served in a rich marinara sauce mixed with olives, capers & roasted mixed vegetables. It was a tad salty for my taste, but still delicious.
After eating, we decided to stroll around town & do some window shopping. While we did, we passed by multiple wineries (we were, after all, in the heart of wine country). We decided we would be remiss not to buy a local bottle, & we dipped into one store that happened to be in the oldest building in the town.
Crawford Family Wines is a family-owned winery committed to using only the very best fruits in the country in the making of every bottle of wine. We ordered the tasting with cheese, which came with a flight of five different wines & a container of five different cheeses to pair with each one. The cheese came from the store attached to the winery, Cailloux Cheese Shop, a family-run, European-style shop that sells artisanal cheeses, charcuterie, bread, & accoutrements. The shop is named after the owner’s dog, Cailloux (pebble in French), whose ambitious attitude inspired Janelle, who has a graduate degree in geology, to pursue her passion & open up her own store.
I have never enjoyed drinking wine more. All of the wines we tried were smooth, & even the dry reds had bold, fruity flavors. All of the cheeses were so different, from a creamy, soft goat cheese to a hard, smelly yellow cow‘s milk cheese with herbs. Every pairing of cheese & wine was the perfect complement, & after every tasting, we were left speechless & unsure how we would ever choose our favorite.
We finally settled on a 2014 Pinot Noir from Radian Vineyard. It had a brighter & fruitier flavor than any Pinot Noir I had ever had, & the finish was soft & lingered delicately on the tongue. We bought a bottle for later in our trip & then continued our stroll down the lane.
Before we left, I wanted to try authentic Danish food, so we went to Good Seed Coffee Boutique (because dessert with coffee is always better), & then went to Mortensen’s Danish Bakery for dessert. The pastries were huge! The majority of them stretched longer than my face. I wanted something small, so I chose a lemon petit four, & Joseph ordered a chocolate coffee cookie. I know, it’s they aren’t really danishes, but they came from a danish bakery & I have always wanted to try a petit four, so I let it slide.
I was glad I made the choice I did because the petit four was delicious. The soft, biscuit like cookie was smeared with a lemon jam & then topped with mousse-like lemon cream. Then the whole dessert was covered in a thin layer of buttercream with a delicate icing flower piped on top. It was dainty & delicious, the perfect sweet bite.
We left Solvang later than expected, so our next unexpected conundrum was what we should change in our itinerary. Our initial plan was to drive the scenic route to Bixby Bridge, then go to Carmel-by-the-Sea for dinner, & then drive the 17-mile-drive to our Airbnb. However, by now, it would be far too dark to see any of the views on our final drive. So, since we were still full from eating our way through Solvang, we decided to do both scenic drives first & then have a late dinner.
The route was breathtakingly gorgeous. All along our drive we looked over rocky cliffs to the restless sea below. The drive took longer than expected, & we arrived at Bixby Bridge just as the sun was setting. The light was perfect to snap a few photos & capture the scenic moment, & then to just stand together & soak in the view. Green mountains behind us, a rocky valley to our left, & a steep drop to the golden beach below with waves crashing to the shore in the dim light – despite the cold from elevation & ocean wind, we simply could not tear our eyes away. It was only when the sun was completely hidden by clouds that we finally returned to our truck.
Now, it was time for another itinerary change. Luckily, tomorrow was the only day we had planned to sleep in, which meant we technically had time to get up early & still drive to see the views on the 17-mile-drive in the early morning light. We decided to sacrifice rest for the experience tomorrow morning, & for the moment, the most important thing was to get some food in our stomachs.
We drove to Carmel-by-the-Sea, a bustling town despite the late hour & the chill in the air. The weather was reminiscent of fall. We both changed out of our summer clothes & put on sweaters & pants instead, & then headed into the romantic streets lit by street lamps & globe lights.
We decided to go to the TreeHouse Cafe for dinner. The wait was long, but we requested to sit at the bar, which got us seated immediately. While talking to the server & bartender, we mentioned we were on our honeymoon, & the next thing I knew, they were offering us a table out on the rooftop, surrounded by twinkle lights that looked like stars.
For a starter, we ordered Greek Dolmas, a vegetarian dish made of stuffed grape leaves & served with tangy & creamy tzatziki. And for dinner, we split the seafood paella, a warm, comforting rice dish full of shrimp, chicken, sausage, clams, mussels & roasted vegetables.
When we told the server we were ready for our check, he told us not to hurry away, & a moment later, the manager brought us a chocolate cheesecake with raspberry sauce & whipped cream. Stuffed from our dinner but much to enticed to refuse, we both nearly finished off the cake together. Layers of moist chocolate cake & creamy, fudge cheesecake, balanced by the sour raspberry flavor & the creamy & cool whipped cream was the perfect, sweet ending to a delicious meal.
By now, the shops were closed, so Joseph & I walked the main street, taking in the ambience & staying close to one another to keep warm. We arrived shortly at our truck & then, after a long day, finally began the drive to our Airbnb.
All throughout the day, things didn’t go as planned, but they turned out so much better than we expected. We missed out on the Channel Islands hike that promised amazing views, but instead, we got to gaze out on all of Santa Barbara from the top of a mountain & soak in hot springs! Our stop in Solvang was longer than expected, although definitely worth it. Because of our extended stay, we missed driving the 17-mile-drive, but being late meant we arrived at Bixby Bridge right at twilight & got probably the best view of the day, & we are looking forward to the views we will get on our drive tomorrow morning. The restaurant we chose was crowded, so we settled for sitting in the bar, & then a nonchalant conversation turned into us getting the best seats in the house & a delicious dessert.
Life is full of sweet surprises. We just have to remember that when life throws us an unexpected turn of events, it might be to turn us into an even better direction.
