When you are traveling with a group, it is inevitable you will run into different opinions about what to do. And when you only have one vehicle, things can get even more complicated.
On the first morning with no plans for our trip, everyone had different ideas of what to do. My brother, Jake, & his fiancé, Jess, wanted to go horseback riding or rock climbing. Joseph & I wanted to go hiking. And my mother, the practical one, wanted to go grocery shopping.
Because my mother’s activity of choice was the most essential, she won the use of our sole vehicle. The rest of us waited at the Airbnb, talking about what to do next. We looked up horseback riding & decided a sunset ride a few days from then would be best, so that left a decision between hiking & rock climbing. Jake & Jess decided to drive with us to our hiking spot of choice, where there were plenty of small mountains to climb.
We left after 10am, far later than I had wanted. The sun was high in the sky by this point & beat down on our heads as we set off on the trail. Within minutes, I could feel my skin starting to burn & regretted not bringing sunscreen.
Joseph on the Verrado Petroglyphs trail
Despite the late hour, the trail was a lot of fun. My dad accompanied Joseph & I on our hike, & we passed the two hours chatting & pointing at sightings of wildlife as we trekked up the trail. We spotted a family of deer stepping lightly around the cacti that littered the ground, & my dad pointed to an empty spot of trail at one point that, a moment before, a road runner had scuttled across.
We climbed up a few rocks of our own to see the view, which, while brown & tawny, was spectacular. Now a few miles into our hike, we were completely surrounded by mountains & tall saguaros that showed us just how magnificent you can grow to be when you are willing to adapt to your environment.
We had chosen the Verrado Petroglyphs trail to see the ancient cave drawings carved into the rock. Unfortunately, all we caught was a small glimpse of this ancient art form. The one large boulder that contained the drawings had been blocked off with a chain link fence topped with barbed wire loop. We peered in to look at what appeared to be ancient stick figures & squiggles, & I was met with a moment of glee at thinking that people so many thousands of years ago drew pictures much like the ones we draw today.
Jake & Jess met up with us in the parking lot, & after getting coffee, we drove back to our Airbnb where Mom was waiting for us. We decided to spend the night in & got some snack food & drinks from the grocery store. Joseph turned on some music, & he, Jake, Jess, & Dad jumped into the pool while Mom & I sat out & just enjoyed the ambience.
When we grew hungry for dinner, we decided to continue our quest to find the best tacos in the area. Yesterday, we visited Baja Tacos for dinner, & the delicious food inspired us to try other local Mexican restaurants & decide which was the best. This time, we tried Oscar’s Taco Shop. The food was incredible, full of bold flavors that both contrasted & complimented one another. Salty cheese, creamy sour cream, earthy avocado, & spicy sauces made each dish a plate of perfection. I ordered the taco salad with shrimp in a fried tortilla bowl, which, while it was not quite the warm & comforting tacos I had tried the day before, it was still utterly satisfying. The tortilla was fried until crispy but it still tore softly & melted on the tongue, & the salad was fresh but still filling.
Compared to Baja Tacos, Oscar’s Taco Shop had more variety & included vegetables in their dishes, which is a huge win for me, but Baja Tacos’ homemade sauces & small business charm that could somehow be tasted in its food still made it a tough competitor. All in all, I think we will have to try another Mexican restaurant before we make our final pick.
We ended the evening resting our full tummies while playing a new card game, Uno Flip, which my mom had bought that day while running errands. Laughing around the table, I was struck by just how happy I was in how the day had turned out. We all have our different interests that pull us in differing directions, both in our daily lives & on vacation. But I love it when we all have the chance to come together & spend time with one another. There is nothing sweeter than that time spent around the table, laughing, talking & enjoying each other’s company.
When we return home, we will once again separate to our different lives, but I have hope that we will continue to seek special moments like these, where we can set any differences aside & enjoy the time spent with one another.
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I have always wanted to be one of those people who kept a daily journal. I would go through periods of my life when I regularly wrote in a diary, but to be completely honest, these were normally periods of only a few days in length. My longest stint was summer of 2019, when I kept a journal recording everything that happened every day of my 4K for Cancer journey. I thought at the end of it, I would keep the habit going, but as soon as I returned to normal life, I fell back into old habits and the journal stayed untouched on my bookshelf.
The shame of this is I actually enjoy writing, and there are many moments in my life that I wish I had recorded. The one thing I learned from journaling during 4K is it is impossible to remember all the little details that happen, but those are the ones I want to remember most. I love reading over conversations I had with people and the little things I saw while on that trip.
One of the main reasons I have always struggled with keeping a journal is that I struggle to keep my writing short and concise. I feel like I have to record every little detail of my day, which is rather time consuming and tedious when I am sitting in bed at night, ready to fall asleep.
Emily & me at Joseph’s & my engagement party
My solution came in January last year when I was visiting my childhood friend (and current matron of honor), Emily. While talking, she told me about a habit she had adopted over the last few years after seeing her dad do it. Every year, she buys a planner, not to record what she has to do, but to write down what happened each day. At the end of the day, in the space on the calendar, she records everything that happened that day. Sometimes, it’s just the mundane tasks of everyday life, but other days the content is more exciting. The most beautiful thing about this is that, whether big or small, all those special moments that happened are recorded. And if she has more to write than will fit in the little calendar square, she turns the page to the weekly view to write a little blurb about her day.
I bought a planner that week to integrate this habit into my own life, and since then, I have faithfully written in that little book every day. I love the fact that I am restrained to a small space to write about my day. It is a totally doable task at the end of the day, and it makes me think about what the most important details of my day were so they will be the ones that get recorded.
I just have to say, what a year to start this habit! After the beginning of March, my life suddenly became a lot less normal, as did the lives of most people on the planet. I can’t say every day at home was an interesting calendar square to fill out, but every interesting conversation or little hobby I started for fun or work was recorded. Looking back through my planner today, I can’t help but smile while reading all those little moments that I would have forgotten by now.
One of my favorite things about this is that I can easily turn back to any day to see what happened. So, a year from now, I can look back to see what happened today. I can remember exactly how I felt and what happened on any day by easily flipping to that calendar page.
In addition to the original idea given to me by Emily, I have added a few extra steps. At the beginning of the month, my planner has a space to record goals and important dates, and at the end of the month, it has a page for notes. These are my spaces to spend a little extra time at the end of the month thinking back over what happened and reflect on my experiences. In the goals section, I record goals, achievements, and big events that happened; in the important dates section, I write the days the most important things that month happened with their corresponding number; and in the notes section, I write a little summary of my month.
I love three things about this little extra step I have taken. One, I tend to be very hard on myself. I am a perfectionist, and I am often looking for the next goal to achieve rather than recognizing myself for what I have done in my life. Having a section dedicated to recording the achievements in my life, whether big or small, is a little act of self-care to recognize myself for the hard work I have done. Two, I love that the most important dates are marked, so I can easily look to see which days meant the most to me and then flip to those corresponding calendar dates to read more. Three, the notes section honestly gives me closure at the end of each month and it helps me to better reflect on what is happening in my life and set goals for the next month. I can’t know where I want to go if I don’t know where I have been. This moment of reflection both helps me to make sense of difficult times (such as during the worst of the coronavirus pandemic), celebrate happier months (my month of engagement and travel with Joseph), and look forward to what I want to do next with my life. It’s like taking a moment at the end of each month to write a closing to that chapter of my life.
If you struggle to keep a journal, I highly recommend incorporating this habit into your life. It takes less than two minutes at the end of each day, but I feel it has honestly increased the positivity, productivity and gratitude in my life. Giving myself a moment to reflect at the end of each day and month helps me to focus on the good in my life. And knowing that this moment is coming at the end of each day encourages me to spend my time more wisely so I will have something to write about.
And it’s not too late to start! Check out the links below to get your planner, & some of my favorite journaling tools, & get started right away. The best time to have started this habit was the beginning of this year (or honestly, many years ago), but the next best time is today.
A 2021 planner to get you started
This planner has all the sections you need to help get you started on your new journaling technique.
Amazing pens
You don’t need a boring, black, ballpoint pen to journal with. Check out these beautiful, fine point markers, perfect for journaling, drawing, or just writing aesthetically-pleasing notes.
Washi tape
Washi tape is my new obsession. It makes everything look so much prettier & organized, even if it isn’t. Check out this set on Amazon, or do your own search! There are so many different colors, sizes & designs.
Planner Stickers
Maybe you’re not feeling the creative vibes of making your own stickers with Washi tape. No problem! Check out these beautiful stickers that you can decorate your planner with. There are over 1,500 designs to help you keep that planner looking beautiful and organized.
All women are familiar with the uncomfortable symptoms of menstruation – cramps, headaches, bloating, and an increased need to cry and eat chocolate are among those that are most popular.
But some women experience another list of symptoms that are a little more irregular, such as prolonged weight gain, dark hair growth, irregular bleeding and ovulation, and severe acne. While all periods are uncomfortable, these are symptoms of another medical condition, known as polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS).
PCOS has recently been making headlines more frequently. Just last month, congresswoman Abby Finkenauer secured extra funding to increase research for endometriosis, another women’s health condition associated with menstruation and reproduction. Now, a number of women’s health problems, including PCOS, are being highlighted with the hope that funding for more research and treatment will be gained.
My Story
It is not a coincidence that the recent headline-making PCOS has had caught my eye. For me, this is not a random string of letters. I was diagnosed with PCOS at age 13, when the ideas of fertility and making consciously healthy diet choices were far from my mind. All I knew at the time was that my periods were excruciatingly heavy and painful, often leaving me curled up in a ball on the couch. My acne was worse than most of the girls in school, despite the fact that I had tried just about every skincare program on the market. And I had dark, thick hair growing on my body where other girls had blonde, fair fuzz.
My doctors did not explain much to me when they handed over a birth control pill. All I knew wast that it helped me feel better. However, the acne and dark hair persisted, and as my teenage years went on, research helped me discover beauty regimens that made me feel more confident in my own skin.
It wasn’t until I was in college that I finally was able to have a full conversation with my doctor about what PCOS meant. After years of thinking of the condition as mostly a complication to my physical appearance, I was devastated by the news that I would one day perhaps struggle to get pregnant. At that point, my periods had been nonexistent for over a year because I had been neglecting to take my medication, and the doctor’s main concern was the risk that put me at for developing endometrial cancer. I was put back on the pill, and I returned to normal life, told to come back if my symptoms worsened or when I was married to talk about having children. Any questions I have had since then about fertility have always been brushed aside; the doctor told me I obviously was not fertile now, so we would wait to talk about treatment options until I was actually interested in having children.
This uncertainty and possible infertility has hung like a weight over my head since that appointment. I am in my early 20s, but already friends have begun having children, and I can’t help but feel an ache when I think about the possibility that I may never be able to do the same. Every conversation I have with my fiancé about our future children and child-rearing is always encased by the possibility that all the topics we are discussing may never come to fruition. I have read from multiple sources that the feeling of shame that comes with PCOS is not uncommon. While we have come a long way in society from thinking of women primarily as child-rearers, I still always had the expectation of myself that I would be able to do the natural process that women have been doing since the dawn of time.
What is PCOS?
According to the Mayo Clinic, PCOS is a hormonal disorder characterized by “infrequent or prolonged menstrual periods or excess male hormone (androgen) levels.” The cause of PCOS is unknown, which makes treatment more complicated and is why women and doctors are now fighting for more funding for research. According to the Mayo Clinic, if PCOS is caught and treated early, it can help “reduce the risk of long-term complications such as type 2 diabetes and heart disease.”
However, the Mayo Clinic does mention a few possibilities being explored for the cause of PCOS. Excess insulin in the body can increase androgen production, which can complicate normal ovulation. Another thought is that inflammation in the body may stimulate the ovaries to produce more androgens. Other causes often cited are an excess of androgen in the body for unknown reasons or heredity.
According to Self Magazine, there are three diagnostic symptoms. The first is irregular periods, characterized by infrequent periods and/or having irregularly heavy bleeding during periods. The second is excess androgen in the body, which can cause dark facial and body hair growth (known as hirsutism), acne, and sometimes male-pattern baldness. The third common symptom that characterizes PCOS is not visible to the eye – it can only be found with an ultrasound. Polycystic ovaries are ovaries that contain follicles that surround the eggs. This can cause the ovaries to function irregularly, such as failing to release eggs in a normal pattern.
Other common symptoms of PCOS, according to WebMD, include skin darkening, trouble sleeping, headaches, infertility, and weight gain.
Diagnosis and Treatment
According to Self Magazine, there are multiple ways doctors diagnose PCOS because there is different diagnostic criteria. The latest criteria, published in 2009 by the Androgen Excess and PCOS society, said “someone would need to exhibit hyperandrogensim plus either of the other possible signs to be diagnosed with PCOS.”
There is no current cure for PCOS, so the focus is normally on treatment. According to the U.S. Department of Health, a patient’s treatment plan varies based on her personal symptoms, whether she is currently trying to get pregnant, and whether she is at risk for any long-term health complications. The most common first treatments for PCOS include lifestyle changes to achieve a healthy weight and taking a birth control medication.
Why isn’t there more research?
Self Magazine recently released an article posing one simple question: “Why is PCOS still so hard for doctors to understand?” Quite simply, there has not been enough research to give doctors the answers they need. There are two reasons for this.
Secondly, there is not enough funding. According to a study published in The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism, “PCOS research may be underfunded considering its prevalence, economic burden, metabolic morbidity, and negative impact on quality life.” Funding for PCOS is limited because it has been characterized by the National Institutes of Health (NIH) as a reproductive disorder, which means it receives most of its funding from organizations that research reproductive health issues. However, PCOS is also a metabolic disorder, meaning it has greater impact on other areas of life than it is recognized for, and, therefore, it has the potential for more medical funding.
Takeaway
There is one major takeaway I would like to have from my story, and that is there needs to be more transparency and conversation associated with women’s health issues. Even while writing this, it crossed my mind that some people would balk about seeing something written bluntly about menstrual bleeding and cramping. Although, this seems odd to me because, according to DAME, a company that makes products for menstruation, women spend an equivalent of 10 years of their lives on their period. But, in my experience, the lack of open conversation about menstruation, even among women, leads to a lot of unknowns surrounding women’s health. For instance, it wasn’t until I started working in holistic health that I learned about foods I could eat to ease my symptoms. Many women I know are unaware of the amount of chemicals in tampons and pads, which most of us, including myself, continue to use because they are cheaper and more readily available than safer alternatives. And in my particular case, I have not even had the option to have a transparent conversation with my gynecologist about treatment options.
Transparency and openness in women’s health can make sure that women live healthier lives. For me personally, transparency about my own experience helped me to learn about more treatment options, and it helped me to realize that I am not alone. As soon as I started talking about PCOS, I realized how prevalent it is. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), six to 12 percent of women in the United States who are of reproductive age have PCOS, making it one of the most common causes of female infertility.
But more importantly than that, 100 percent of women experience menstruation and the struggles that come with it, which means this a conversation we need to be having.
